Okay folks, your lazy-ass narrator finally put down the HoHos and got off his ass and went through all the Halloween pics. Over three hundred submits this year, and props to all for some amazing costumes and hilarious HCwDB inspired ideas.

Like the pic submitted here by reader G Wood.

Without further ado, here's the ones I was able to organize and upload, and if I didn't post your pic, don't be angry. I likely accidentally deleted it because I got so many. And I'm confused. And disorganized. And drunk. Here's your pics:

The HCwDB Comments Threads regulars for HCwDB Halloween:

Memphis Doucheworkers Local 421 and his Lady busts some quality Halloween HCwDB
Army of Doucheness does Gunter
Army of Doucheness's Gunter #2. Scary good work, AoD. Now sing me "Summer Holiday."
Archidouchies busts some classic HCwDB stylin'
Major Malfunction and Lady bust the Bra!! Gunshow, complete with Startatt
Reader Mike and Boozy Hott recreate "Chug Life," with URC watching
Douchebag Mike goes full-on faux to amuse an Asian Hott
And in Pic #2, DBag Mike HCwDBs with a Bunny
Douchey Douche manages to get double-pop and arm tatts into his costume for his lady
And Ubiquitous Anonymous Lurker goes solo Orange

The HCwDB Halloween Pics that are so good, I'm not so certain they are Halloween pics:

Reader Red and his Lady do some Bathroom Doggie 'Baggin'
If Grant didn't have the fake arms, I'd be running him and his lady hott in a Weekly.
Eric and his Bro assure me this really was for Halloween
Anon assures me this really was him and his girlfriend doing 'Jerz HCwDB', although it's so real it's frightening.
Spiro creeps me out in a hotel hallway
Michael brings the Vegas Power Douche
Pat and his Lady Hott are just a little too convincing as Inland Empire HCwDB
Sleiman and his 'Boyz' fail to convince me they haven't done this before
Tyler brings fuel in case he runs out of energy

And an assorted selection of some other genius HCwDB costumes sent in by readers this year:

Reader Greg Busts some Hott Hott and Douchey Douche.
Charles oranges it up at a 'Ween house party
Alex and his Girl bring the ingenious 'Cross Dressing HCwDB'
Blaque Jesus does the Mirror 'Bag
Chris M and Girlfriend go full orange
An Anon Reader busts 'Kissylips Dancer'
Monica and her Man provide before/after evidence of the HCwDB transformation
Ari and his 'Boyz' nail the DB but forget the HC
Bonobo and his Hott also bust classic HCwDB
Charles brings the Heineken
Kristen dresses up her boyfriend as 'Armybag'
Brandon and His Girl bust HCwGGW
Brotha L.B. and his Magic Lady mock Yuppie Douche
Matt mixes metaphors with 'Fidel Castro Douche'
Brian achieves truly spectacular 'Pink Pop Collar,' as well as wins the Best Halloween Douche Utility Belt Award
Captain S.P. brings his Army Hott along for the ride
Telly and his Lady go 'Hot Mermaid with Power Douche'
Another Brian busts Rockerbag
Scott and his Lady do 'The Jerz'
Chaz and his Lady bring the Literal Summers Eve

But wait, there's more!

Chocolate Douche reminds us the Brothas can mock the Brothabags too
Chris with the brilliant 'Hello My Name is Douchebag' snags a Tall Cornfed Hott at the party
Cort gets into his D.B. persona with some awesome kissy lips
Drake and Girlfriend do 'Hot Dorothys with Douchebags'
Evan and 'Bro' bring the West Coast 'Bag, along with their girl's 'Sexy Cop'
Sean and Becky do 'Hot Sailorettes with Douchebags'
Gordo writes in from Canada where he busts some D.J. Douche with Barely Legal Hott
Graeme goes solo douche with some Homemade Ed Hardy
Hoboken Brian busts Jerz
Hugh and his Ladies Bring the 'Ween Party up to HCwDB standards
Not quite HCwDB, exactly, but here's Halloween Nerd/Hott Google.
Josh and Friend take HCwDB to 11
Lance and his Lady's Costume are so good, they scared their dog

How's about a large tip of the Ubiquitous Red Cup to all our HCwDB costumes this year. Clever, hilarious, playful and enough to give me hope we still might turn back the EdHardpocalypse before it's too late.

Great job all!! Including all the great submits I wasn't able to upload. A bottle of Night Train to everyone.

Yup. Your narrator is already drunk. Because it's Friday.

And, as we all know, the concept of the "Weekend" is simply a temporal framework to justify habitual alcoholism.

Here's your links:

Regis and Kelly dress as Jon and Kate HCwDB for Halloween. It's a simulacra of an echo of a postmodern pastiche. And stupid.

For the nerds among us: Baguette shuts down Large Hadron Collider. No word on if it was Josephine.

Most underrated genius videogame of the 1990s: Parappa the Rappa. Kick! Punch! It's all in the mind. Don't get cocky! It's gonna get rocky!

What happens when a couple of Aussie douchebags in Melbourne decide to produce their own party video? Nothing much for the first two minutes. And not much more after that. (this may actually be the longest, most boring, and slowest rap in history)

An Indian douche in New Delhi sues Lynx bodyspray for not getting any hotts. That won't curry favor with the jury.

Bags on Board. Not what you think it is. Although they're experts at cleaning up poo.

Ass Pear as optical illusion? Disturbing.

Here's your real Pear... Desk Pear.

Go forth, kids. It's time for good times. And by good times, I mean hott liberating. And, of course 'bag mocking. From a safe and healthy distance.

I've got it. New art project: Skin Comics.

A new framework on avant-garde storytelling as art.

The viewer sits on a chair in an empty downtown Soho gallery, staring straight ahead. And these tools run by, one by one. Each one telling a different panel of our superhero: Doucheman.

The art is found in the modality of communication. Ambulatory panels of corporeal story telling. Think of it as a critique of the mechanization of man, the inscription of the body, and the alienation of the image as a projection of the self.

Oh, and I see you too, Betty Hott. I'll get to you at the gallery after-party. We will sip champagne and discuss Proust, and then I will grab your butt with deep repose, and pensive aplomb.

Full post coming tomorrow of all the 'Ween pics, but here's HCwDBs own g0dluvsugly getting the ladies to kiss the Bra!! Gunshow.

While Ubiquitous Red Cup watches with ironic appreciation.

Robopud and bros,
Make monkey poo hand gestures,
While Lana hates life.

The unemployed
Construction jobs scarce for bags
Sign of the times

-- ImageWrangler

Gaelic alphabet
tattooed across hairless chest
Franzia drinker

-- and you will know us by the trail of the douche

Ouiji-tat left douche
has no nipples; right's are gross.
Wish we could see hers.

-Bagnonymous

Civilization
Never meant skanks with meatpuds
Aquinas doth weep

-- Fyodor Dostedouchesky

Detroit Tigers cap
Hiding on the the ground, ashamed
Can't be seen with douches

-- Roscoe P. Scrotestain

Four scowls and a smile
MandanaBag's a Newbie
Life sucks in Fresno

-- Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

Hott's face says it all
"What is that stench behind me?"
Oh, it's quadra-poo

-noobbag

HCwDB of the Week winners The Bagpoleon Complex and Josephine respond to the community with erudite clarity:

----
YEAHHHHH WOOO HOOO YOU I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL FOR MAKING ME FEEL SO GOOD ABOUT MYSELF...

YEAH THAT ME ALEX MIJARES!!!! REMEMBER IT!

WOW YOU TOOLS MADE MY DAY!!! KEEP WRITING I WANT TO TAKE UP THE WHOLE BLOG!!
----

And a few moments later, his hott chimes in:

----
i dont understand why u guys gotta talk so much shit.. This guy is f*cking hot... i think all of u gotta look in the mirror before talking..... stop hating ppl!! why cuz hes got a hot body n u dont? ooohhh wait is cuz hes got the hot girl and u cant get near anythin like that right!!! EXACTLY
----

Oh no I di'int.

I believe I was just made to talk to the proverbial hand.

EDIT: Bagpoleon has posted his phone number in the comments threads and requests that people talk shit to him in person. 305-(edit: phone number appears to be a fake, sorry Miguel).

All right, I hear all yer bitchin' that the pics this week haven't been up to snuff.

Alls I'll say in your humble narrator's defense is that I've been swamped with admittedly hilarious Halloween pics, which I'm planning on putting together into one big post in the next few days.

Many regulars and semi-regulars, like dennis 'bagger pictured here, came up with some truly inspired douchosity.

But as a result of so much 'Ween, the regular pics haven't been coming in as much.

So bear with as I clear out the secondary pics this week. I promise to make it up to you. And by promise to make it up to you, I mean STFU, the site is free.

Part of me wants to give Robopud credit for busting one of the rarest of rare 'Bag Hand Gestures (#92).

"The Fonzie."

Way to go with your retro old-school self, Robopud.

Listen, Keith, if you're going to step away from the bar to douche it up with the Kathy Sisters, at least make a little more effort than minimal kissy lips and the obvious Sideways Peace Sign.

And get some Ubiquitous Red Cups while you're at it.

Wholesome, soft skinned, shiny cleavite on Kathy One makes me want to break-dance in a bunny suit while gargling Japanese boba and juggling two small African orphan children named Umbeke and !chol.

Wholesome, soft skinned, shiny cleavite on Kathy Two makes me want to, uhm, touch them.

Because all my metaphor entendres were used up on Kathy One.

And by shots, I mean vaccines.

Play the new boardgame, "Scrotes and Brunettes"!

New!

From Milton 'Bagley.

Yeah, I got nothin' more to add to a pic when the douche writes "prick" under his cap while making the universal sign for 'I've never done this to a real woman'.

But the giant hawk on Sickboy from "Trainspotting" is pretty enjoyable.

As are the tasty ambiguously Semitic brunettes.

Mmm... I'd Natalie their Portmans.

Marty McFly just drove the DeLorean off a cliff.

Every party has one.

Yeah, he's not much of a douche, but Brunette's sulty stare and pokey cheekbone/boob complimentarian symmetry makes me want to slap a penguin and ask for an after dinner mint.

Spanky's still pissed no one cares about mocking his douchey ass. And while he wants to congratulate 'Bagpoleon on winning the HCwDB of the Week, he has one question for us:

Spanky: What's a brotha gotta hairspike and hottie mug to get some mock around here?

You just didn't have it, Spanky.

Now go fetch me a chicken pot pie.

In a hearty contest in which we linguistically dissected choad and boobies like a cracked up sushi chef, the winning coupling of the 'Bagpoleon Complex and Josephine was too much skin to ignore.

The voters speak:

Tony Ventresca: I choose Bagpoleon & Josephine due to his extreme overcompensating little man complex and her incredible hottness (even if she is sucking in her tummy).

Whoop-di-douche: It is exceedingly difficult to decide which is the most stunning: her Top-Drawer-Smiling-Perfect-Figure Hotness or his Fedora-Not-Top-Hat-Neck-Blinged-Double-Reveal: Abs AND Groin-Shave.

Dr. DB: Why Josephine must you get so close to the little man with the low pants? Bagpolean FTW, and by win I mean a short and smelly loss for Josephines dad.

One for the Choad: Ooh, tough choice this week. Pudwick is most a worthy candidate, but I have to go with Bagpolean ftw, because his hott is makes me think of cheesecake and kittens.

Wedgie: Baggie for the weekly. GSR is a pet peeve of mine; only women should be allowed to get Brazilian bikini waxes.

noobbag: Waxed chest is an easily displayed scrotrait, but the GSR takes it to a whole new level. May Bagpolean put the razor to better use in the nether region and self-castrate. Bagpole FTW.

"Lesbian Thermos" Ernie Tubesock: Bagpoleon looks like the star of Rick Moranis' new joint: "Honey, I Shrunk Lou Ferigno". Bagpoleon wins but loses in life.

Mr. Scrotato Head: Billy Barty once said "The general public thinks all little people are in circuses or sideshows. We have doctors, nurses, just about every field covered." That's right Billy. Short people have dreams. They go to college, get married, have careers, raise families. Unfortunately somebody forgot to tell Bagpoleon. Congratulations, now Douchebag can officially be added to the list of societal obstacles little people have so courageously ovecome.

riverdouche: josephine is quite simply one of the hottest women posted on this site(even the kanye shades don't bother me), and bagpoleon certainly holds his own. wee man and her hips for the win.

J bone: Shaved groin? Check. Stupid plastic sunglasses? Check. Jesus bling, fedora and giant watch? Check, check and check. And she has a stomach I would eat breakfast, lunch and dinner off of while furiously fwoping.

BallsDeep: a microcosm of the loveliest flowers and douche-pollen, the sunrays glinting off her baconstrip body and oily delicious juices and her forced smile that shows the rest of us onlookers that there is still hope.

jonezy: Bagpolean FTW, because we all win when Josephine is re-posted repeatedly.

DarkSock: I must cast my ballot for The Bagpoleon Complex and Josephine because 1. She is hotter than fresh cat poo in a microwave and 2. Little Bags are the worst offenders. They try harder, because they have to. No hott fantasizes about 68'ing.

Captain Bringdown: There is no reason outside of cancer surgery for a grown man to have his groin shaven and placed on display. Tack on the probably spindly Daffy Duck legs that accompany so many upper body queens and this guy becomes, like Corky before him, a living reminder that eugenics is not always a bad idea. Poor Josephine has to wear welding goggles so she isn't blinded by the glare off his front porch.

An excellent round of linguistic 'bag mock and hot lust, gold stars for all. And then there was Truckstop Pudwick:

Mr. Bungle: Truckstop Pudwick and Shana are the winners (?) this week. First of all, don't point at me Thomas Haden Douche. Your love for Ed Hardy and ironic tats have no business touching my future ex-wife Shana or "Danica Patrihott" Its my job to rub cocoa butter on her muffin ass after a day at the races.

Medusa Oblongata: Trucker Pud FTW and by tht I mean Flatbed Truck Wash. And a kick in the nads besides.

nopepr: Truckstop Pud. If there was ever someone I wanted to buy a truck and hit with it it's that pud. I'm still angry from seeing that a week ago.

Archidouchies: I'm gonna have to go with the sloppy drunkenness and traditional pointing of the out of work Patrick Swayze stunt double and his sultry, tight dress wearing lady that inspires thoughts of black jack tacos.

Burning Giraffe: It's sad to think that Truckstop Pudwick once had the ambition of a being a singer/songwriter for the Freecreditreport.com band only to experience the reality of being shivved in a prison bathroom.

The blessed Scrotini: Truckstop Pudwick FTW. Sure, he IS the most obvious 'bag to point out in a group so it'd be hard to miss him - even in a room FULL of 'bags. But that is also what makes him my choice. I believe even his pinky fingers whisper douchebag in the ears of every man he meets. As far as Shana goes, she would be welcome to be a model for a sculpture I would create if I had any artistic talent in that form. And as such hers is none to argue about.

And the ginormous watch of the Big Ben 'Bag and his two lovely ladies, including the Holy White Triangle, also found support:

Gee Forgé: Holy White Triangle and Brunette Jenna Jameson for the Hall. Holy white makes orphan children attempting to flee Darfur giggle with joy at the beauty and promise of the world. She makes illegal fundamentalist jewish settlers and hamas extremists break into leaping high-fives and face to face motorboat mimicking. That is the potency of her transcendental majesty. That and her patooty tastes like organic licorice.

Patrick: My Vote goes to The Big Ben 'Bag. His hotts are unreal. I would caress their right arms ever so slightly, just enough to bring up goosebumps and then I would hurry away in a 5th grade bit of "She looked at me" style Embarrasment.

dbBen: Big Ben Bag. He just cut me off in his 350Z.

Big Bag Bag had enough power-hott to win an average week, but this week was too stocked with hott and choad for him to compete. So we turn it over to El Caganer to take us home:

My vote goes to Bagpoleon. He has spent years in the gym working on his overdeveloped abs. This shows his committment. He is also an early adopter of the groin shave reveal. That needs to be stopped. No one wants to see that junk. Josephine is a true beauty and has taken the place of Francine in a number of fantasies that are unspeakable. Bagpoleon has the hottest hott and that is always enough for my vote.

Well said, El C. Well said indeed. All four couplings of gnaw-hott and crap-on-a-stick have been selected for the Monthly on Monday. The groin shaven metaphysical gun is cocked and loaded.

Good work, people. Now lets all eat some sugar cereal. And by sugar cereal, I mean Frosted Flakes.

Your humble narrator is half naked, sitting on his floor and scratching himself in all sorts of awkward places.

I'm munching on tasty Cheetos, sipping some quality fortified wine ripple, and watching TiVo'd Curb.

And yet, my mind wanders.

What's with the hooky chin pubes? Is this a new formation? Or is his douchal face rearticulating previous patterns of inscription?

What's with the six pound watch? Is it really necessary?

And what's with the glasses? Max, are we driving through plutonium?

And, most importantly, did Adam Goldbag here actually buy a shirt with a bling necklace printed on it?

Help me, Brunette Future Party Mom. It makes as much sense as your dress.