Okay kids, today we're going to take a more in-depth look at what happens to a hottie after prolonged exposure to a douchebag. Think of this as a fairy tale. A parable, if you will. I want all of you to listen up, especially you hotties out there who are strangely tempted by the ways of the douche. Be tempted no longer. And heed the wise words of wisdom that come from the story of The Grieco and Fair Maiden Bleeth.

Fair Maiden Bleeth was a beauty who's renown was known all across this land of ours. Famous for filling out a red swimsuit and running in slow motion on a beach, the Bleeth was one of the greatest beauties in the Kingdom. Men would fall on their swords just to be in the presence of the Bleeth for a minute, just to touch the hem of her miniskirt.









This is Fair Maiden Bleeth in all her natural glory. And by natural, I mean all natural. No kidding. Theys real.








But then one day, a douchebag arrived in town. Famous for his greasy spikey hair, wearing eyebrow makeup, and an unholy obsession with tight shirts and flexing his pecs, this evil knight was known as Richard Grieco, Douchebag (tm).



He wooed the fair maiden with his douchebaggery. And like many beauties before her, the 'baggedness of this total and complete 'bag was too much for the fair lass to resist. Soon, they were dating.

And the heavens quaked and the sky grew dark as the Gods grew angry. For Fair Maiden Bleeth was far too sensuous, pure, and well, stacked as hell, to be in the presence of such douchebaggery. But Fair Maiden Bleeth had made her choice.

She had chosen the 'bag.



Here is a picture of Fair Maiden Bleeth and Richard Grieco, Douchebag (tm) while she was in the clutches of his douchebaggery. And douchebag he was. He held the Fair Maiden in his 'bagaliscious clutches for nearly four long and dark years.

And the people wailed and mourned. They rended their garments. They wept for the loss of the Fair Maiden to such evil, 'baggy forces. But there was nothing they could do. She had made her choice.

She had chosen Richard Grieco, Douchebag (tm).

Little did she know the fate that awaits any young, gorgeous woman who chooses to follow the Path Of The 'Bag (all rights reserved).




Here's Fair Maiden Bleeth after four years of dating Richard Grieco, Douchebag (tm):




So please, lovely women out there. Gorgeous honeys across this fair land. Please, I beg of you, heed the moral of this sad fairy tale. Learn about the the horrible fate that awaits you too if you dare to date the 'bag. For you may think his studded belt is too sexy to resist. Or his wife-beater and tats may cry out for your attention. But at what cost, fair maidens? At what cost?

Heed the warnings of Fair Maiden Bleeth before you. Listen to her plaintive cry. Do not fall prey to the douchebag no matter how wily his charms may appear.

Or you too shall suffer the dark, dark fate of Fair Maiden Bleeth.

Hereth endeth the Fairy Tale.