As it stands, its obvious that #1 will win (they have my vote). They guy isnt a huge douche, but she is smoking. However, if you photoshopped either douche from #2 or #4 with the hottie from #1, you could pretty much just close down your site. Your work would be done.
 

How much money would all of you pay to see "CRO-BAGNON" kick the shiznit out of "purple lips"?

As for the hotties,
me likey pocahontas much better than the "Anna-Nichole" wannabe...hot as she is.

Back to the BAGS, I think purple lips' bee-aach is only hot in a 12 to 14 beer kind of way...otherwise she's fugly.
So even thought he loses points in the HC category, #4 get my vote.

DB OUT!
 

i have to say, the hottie that turns me on the most is Pocahontas, but since i have a penchant for using HCwD of the week votes to warn the world about the unholy predators that prey upon all that we hold dear, i'm going to have to vote for Cro Bagnon. his hottie isn't so hot, like Douchebag1 said, but passably hot.
 

I think the real question here is, "If I happened upon one of these couples on a night out, which would make me the most angry?"

The clear answer to me is #1. I would say purple lips is getting what he deserves in #4. Pocahontas and the Sausage are both hitting it up Staten Island-style--I'm not really that put off. CRO-BAGNON had to drag someone off to his cave--his hottie seems weak enough not to put up a fight. But where does the West Virginia version of Mike Myers come off even looking at this bombshell? I'm getting angry all over again even thinking about it.
 

#1 My uncle Lou and Rebecca Romijn's doppleganger must win. He's the only DB who is over 30, which hurts him (as it took him longer to achieve his level of 'baggery than the other douche-prodigies), but the girls are a 10, a 7, a 5, and a 3, respectively. It's just no contest, regardless of how ridiculous Cro Bagnon and Purple Lips are.

And DB Out, I would give my first born to watch Cro Bagnon beat Purple lips to death, as long as he stood in front of a truck on the freeway afterward.
 

Hands down, purple lips takes it all!

He represents all that is douchey to the world... ALL! Although, like my coleagues here say, his "hottie" is not something I'd look at w/o copious amounts of alcohol in my blood stream... They're made for each other!

DB out, I'm definitely in for the fight; we should talk to HBO and make a pay-per-view event of that shait!!!

"L' Douchebago Venezolano"
 

I'm going to toss the vote to Purple Lips. Sure his hottie isn't the hottest hottie of hot land (not to be confused with Hot Town, Hot Village, or Hot-Lanta), but, this big titted douche bag is by far the douchest of the douches in Douche City (not to be confused with Douche Square, Douche Settlement, or Unincorporated Douche County).

-Boogie
 

"CRO-BAGNON MAD!
CRO-BAGNON SMAAASHHH!!"

I've seen Bags in all forms and shapes. But when i saw Cro-Bagnon version 6.7, produced by cloning facility No#:376765765324, my pace-maker blew up.

Cro-bagnon 6.7 was the worst thing that facillity produced next to synth-spaghetti.

Bag #4 is a classic. The lime-green wrist-band, the greased-out- with-white-spunk-filled-locks, and electro bag's glasses, topped off by PINK LIPS. I bet he gives great head with those pink lips, which he probably uses to stimulate more erotic ass-pounding. Blah, that's like tattooing a plow machine on your dick and say something like: "Yeah, í have it there because it plows through shit all the time." I say, this guy lacks fresh-ness.

As for the hotties:
I would certainly attempt stealing that chines hotness from cro-bagnon. Something that has fallen so deep should also have a chance for redemption.

Cro-bagnon wins either way. He's got the Douche-power of Inigo MontDouchebag and the brutal strenght of 10.000 primates. Stopping him is as hard as fist fighting death itself.
 

#4 without question! He is so much of a CHAUNCEY that it doesn't even matter if Pam Anderson was standing next to the other 3. Game Set Purple Lips
 

They're all worthy, but purple lips gets the gold.
 

number 1...hands down....his mullet is just...tremendous. and although that girl has a scrunchy face,shes the second hottest there.
 

Even though the hottie with No. 3 is amazingly pretty and I can't look at No. 2 without bursting into laughter (or are they tears), the only true DB is the greezy, purple-lipped manscaped turd, No. 4. In spite of the not-so-hottie with him, he is the clear winner.
 

well, DB1 is making it truly hard this time -- we're looking at a representative from most of the major douch categories: guido-'roids douche, oldie douche, missing link douche, skeezie douche. And in each of their categories, these douches stack up admirably (although oldie douche is smacked down by grampa douche). Purple lips, though, is right up there with pink vest muscles douche -- note the jesus bling even though there's no shirt, and the behatted skeezer is neck to neck with melonhead (slight edge to skeezer what with the 'members only' jacket -- even if this is a costume party, the fact that he had one in the closet is enough for me).

In the case of each of these gotta agree with bag o' bones's thinking here, though: which one of the couples makes me want to lift my head up to the heavens and scream at the gods that have allowed such good fortune to visit this scrote. So, the field is narrowed to #1 and #3, even though they lack many of the 'bag trix that we know and love: no ridiculous bling, no gelled foreheads and not even a weak-assed hand gesture.

The hotties don't help decide the question either -- the foxy little over the shoulder glance of the peroxided one (I know she'd giggle when I licked the cheese whiz off her navel) vs. the sweet faced fraulein with the uber-Cleavite.....

#1 it is. Because I'd rather watch Pink Lips grab him by the mullet and throw him out of a three story window.
 

I HAVE to go with purple lips. Normally I wouldn't vote for him because the chick he is with is so damn ugly, but I think the douchebaggery pent up inside and out of this sorry motherfucker is so great that he deserves to wear the "HCwD of the Week" crown. The knock-off Oakley Blades, the Jesus bling, the green wristband accompanyied by even more bling, the purple lips....THE FUCKIN PURPLE LIPS!....and that stupid, spikey hair just makes me want to vomit in the ugly chick on his arm's ugly face.

As for the other douches: #2 is next in line as far as douchousity. And #s 3 and 4 have ridiculously hot chicas on their arms, but are more dork than douche.

Sometimes I don't know whether to vote on the caliber of the hot chick or the pure, uncut doucheness. If the caliber of the woman plays a large (and I mean large) role, #4 can't win; he would be DQed. But he is such an uber-douche and so far in front of the other contenders, my vote goes to him.
 

I concur with ‘bag o’ bones that one must use the anger factor, and for that reason my vote goes to #3.

Sure “Hot Lips” belongs on the Mount Rushmore of Douches but he doesn’t make me angry he makes me laugh, giggle, chuckle and possibly snicker. As for the soon to be cancer patient standing next to him, I hope her death is painful.

“Cro Bagnon” scares me and thus I do not want to speak ill of him…. pig faced monstrosity.

Mullet ‘bag and Rebecca Romijn deserve each other.

But my “Pocahontas” she is pure and pristine. She deserves far better then that “Sewage Sausage”. I would scalp hundreds of men to prove my self to her, kill many a buffalo and make the white devils pay for what they did to her and her people.

To DB OUT! I would forfeit many a buffalo skin to see that event.

DOUCHEZILLA
 

I have to vote for Purple Lips, notwithstanding the clearly inferior female.

Mullet Bag is almost more pathetic than doucherific. There can be no question that he is punching well above his weight to even be in the same zip code with that woman. But he looks more like downtrodden honky-tonk man than pure douche.

Cro Bagnon has 'bag qualities and a decent woman. He holds his own and could well have taken the title in a week of lesser competition. But I fear his douche quotient may be more the product of his laughable and unnecessary efforts to convince everybody that he is tough, rather than true inherent doucheness. Dude, you are the size of a small city. You don't need to glare at me. I've already wet my pants.

The Sewage Sausage more boldly enters the land of the calculated douche, the douche who becomes a douche because he believes it is the cool, trendy, and ethical thing to do. His companion is also molto hot and her exclusion from the Hot Chicks competition is unforgivable. But I digress. It has been suggested, and it is a plausible theory, that this is a costume party, which bleeds a little off the doucheness. However, I agree that the mere ownership of a Member's Only jacket strongly suggests the douche force is strong in this one.

But when you are up against the juggerbag that is Purple Lips, you have to bring your "A" game and demonstrate strong natural douche tendencies. It is in this area that I believe Purple Lips dominates the field. Unless the theme was "Come As the Gayest Person in the History of World", this look is not the product of a costume party. Additionally, while one could justifiably assume that his appearance is a poorly orchestrated effort to attract the attention of other men, his companion rebuts that theory, however weakly.

Thus, we are presented with the douchebag equivalent of the perfect storm -- a total package (lips, gel, spiky hair, waxed and puffed-out pecs, bling, wristbands) confirming an intention to look this way and a wildly misguided but self-assured belief that this look is cool and should be admired. To paraphrase Austin Powers, Purple Lips believes all women want him and all men want to be him. Purple Lips, you are the champion, my friend. [cue the Queen music]

(this ran a little long, but Purple Lips has an inspirational effect)

Art of the Douche
 

Purple Lips. Hands down.

If bad sunglasses, Jesus bling and spikey, frosted hair don't spell the definition of douchebag, then the terrorists win.

kitty
 

Number 2. That guy frightens the hell out of me.
 

I can't really choose #4 just because I'm not too impressed by the "H"C.

I'll go with the petite cutie and Neanderthaldouche in pic #2.
 

My vote has to go with the sewage sausage. While Cro-bagnon and Purple lips are exemplar douches, SS offers the best combination of Douchebag and Hot Chick in this weeks contest.
 

my vote is for Purple Lips. Total 9.9 on the 'bag scale