Lando's hit tough times since Vader took away Cloud City. Now he spends his days trimming that pencil-thin 'stache, spiking that rank hair and busting Bag Hand Gesture #21. Rock on, Lando!!

Nothing says what state you're from quite like tattooing it up your forearm. Saves the trouble of a verbal reply.

Hottie: "Hey Lando, where ya from?"
Lando: (holding up arm)

If you're wondering what clinches a uber-douche, I'd say tattooing a state's name would certainly elevate a candidate out of the qualifying rounds. Having enough oil on the forehead to perk up Halliburton doesn't hurt either.

Speaking of cleavite, I'd examine the melatonin deprived nether regions of those two gummibears for a fortnight while tap dancing the drum solo from Inna Gada Da Vida. They make me happy. And by happy, I mean horny.