Thursday, August 10, 2006
'Bag / Not a 'Bag?

Okay people, it's time to way in on the Oblique Douchitude Factor (ODF). Here's a sleazy pile of poo with no overt signs of douchebaggery. His hair isn't overly greasy, his t-shirt is fairly normal, there's no facial pubes or Carpenter King Bling. He does, however, feature a 'bag earring.
So he's on the cusp.
Now's your chance to go Siskel & Ebert on his ass. Thumbs up? Or Thumbs Down? Up for Douchebag, down for non-Douchebag.
The hottie is not to be debated. She makes my pants feel funny. But that could be the rash. Stupid rash. Keeps spreading the more I scratch it.
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He's a Jr bag in training, too much of a scrote to be a full fledged douche, but wait he'll cross over to the douche side. His big brother, who probably gifted him that earring , is a the emperor of douche.
As with the stages of Bleeth, there are stages of doucheosity. This guy is an apprentice, so far. It could be only a matter of time before he takes the plunge to full douchitude. Time will tell.
Bagbalm
Bagbalm
I think the stance confirms it for me. It's a variation on the high-school-jock-locker-lean. He's trying to appear casual alpha male while his insecurity forces him to try and trap the hottie. She has no place to run. It's just her, the photog and Scrappy Doouche.
poor little hottie.
-kitty
poor little hottie.
-kitty
Any guy who still wears earrings is a complete douchebag. But I'd like to bend that tasty little over and give her the best mins of her life!
Anakin Scrotewalker has chosen the Douche Side. Though the hair seems to be in recession (aged 19 or so?)within a year he'll grow out some spikes, trade his brown shirt in for a Pink Lacoste and sprout some overly manicured facial pubes. What we don't see here is the 20 squirts of cologne he sprayed on.
He is a 'bag for sure, no debate actually. While the bing-ring in the ear is some mighty shiny frosting on the cake, the main thing that is sticking out in my eye pointing towards his complete douchebaggery is the fact that he is pulling the "I'm a total bad ass" facial expression. What the hell is with this trend to not smile in pictures?
My mom taught me two important lessons in life; one, never spend more than $6 on a six-pack of beer, and two, unless it is a candid shot of you being analy violated by the "purty mouth" boys, you ALWAYS smile for picture. I'm sorry, but if you feel you are too cool to listen to your mother, and to much of a hard ass to smile for a photo, than you are 100% a douche bag.
By the way, I would end my marriage just for the chance to sniff a chair this hottie has sat in.
-Boogie
My mom taught me two important lessons in life; one, never spend more than $6 on a six-pack of beer, and two, unless it is a candid shot of you being analy violated by the "purty mouth" boys, you ALWAYS smile for picture. I'm sorry, but if you feel you are too cool to listen to your mother, and to much of a hard ass to smile for a photo, than you are 100% a douche bag.
By the way, I would end my marriage just for the chance to sniff a chair this hottie has sat in.
-Boogie
He's a candidate for douchebag. Notice the smarmy douche-like expression, the overtly douche-that-traps-the-hottie pose, the way he stares down the camera as if to say, "I am douche, and I will score." The hottie looks to want little to do with Douchey O'Junior, but his upraised armpits, caked with A/X are too much for her.
I fear his bag status will only increase with age.
I fear his bag status will only increase with age.
Thumbs UP.
This punk's a DOUCHE!
Bitch ass earring..
The "somebody punch me in the face" look.
Enough about him,
I'm nominating this hottie for the next Hot Chick of the Month contest.
DB OUT!
This punk's a DOUCHE!
Bitch ass earring..
The "somebody punch me in the face" look.
Enough about him,
I'm nominating this hottie for the next Hot Chick of the Month contest.
DB OUT!
The earring, tough guy expression and hands on the wall stance definitely make him a 'bag. And I would drink this hottie's bath water.
If I have learned one thing over the life of this blog, it is when in doubt... douchebag. Therefore, douchebag.
T Bag
T Bag
The douche-o-meter has gone off. For me, it's the earring in combo with the t-shirt, but most tellingly, the look. I will never understand why douches feel the need to look so unnatural in their photographs. You are punching well above your weight in terms of female companionship. So when you shoot us a contrivedly casual look like "What did you expect? I'm a stud. This happens all the time", you are announcing your citizenship in Douchopolis.
I'm going to agree that the earring makes this one a no-brainer. He's not exactly the Legend of Bagger Douche, but he's well on his way.
I am giving him the benefit of the doubt. I say thumbs down on being a douche. He is on the fence though. Some more hair gel or jewelry and he will cross the line.
Thumbs up...douche.
The earring, the stance and the goofy "I am the coolest" look on his face. Although, this one can be saved. You can tell he is pre-pubesent and is thus only testing the douche-waters as it were, so with a little help, he could be turned to the non-douche side but it will take some effort.
The earring, the stance and the goofy "I am the coolest" look on his face. Although, this one can be saved. You can tell he is pre-pubesent and is thus only testing the douche-waters as it were, so with a little help, he could be turned to the non-douche side but it will take some effort.
'bag in hiding. he's perfected the art to the point where he can go incognito, luring the hotties in, then bleething them whilst their guard is down. possibly the most dangerous of 'bags: the cryptobag.
Thumbs up way up, This here is a classic example of covert douchiness. It's hard to capture in photos, but I guarantee as soon as douche of hazard here opens his mouth the resulting wave reeks of all kinds of doucherosity. Here's how you can tell look at her eyes and you can see she is scanning for the nearest safety exit to bail from this douche-on-a-plane ride.
It's almost as if he's POSING the earring. He's rescuable, but he's going to have to want it. Time to call that show "Intervention."
Definite douche. The earring is a sign, but after further inspection, as one already stated, the stance shows that doucheness that is bred not learnt. The topper? Ahh the stance mixed with the nice buggy whip arms. Nothing like intimidating when you're packin' swizzle sticks.
Screw the vote, are they in a boiler room? Do we have confirmation that this woman is in fact still alive?
Great video about douchebags
http://www.superdeluxe.com/sd/contentDetail.do?id=D81F2344BF5AC7BBC26E493D6410FFA7BA45C4D257EDDC1D
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http://www.superdeluxe.com/sd/contentDetail.do?id=D81F2344BF5AC7BBC26E493D6410FFA7BA45C4D257EDDC1D
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