Johnny Knoxville 'Bag here is the first to feature the retro early-80s red and blue stripped douche armband. So he's got that going for him.

Popped collar, trucker cap and 70s sunglasses and the DB1 wants to pound nails into his eyelids.

Hottie has that Winnie from "The Wonder Years" girl next door thing, which always makes the DB1 feel happy in his special place. Then again, so does chipwiches. Mmm... 500 calories of pure chipwich goodness.