So hard to choose. #4 has the douchy short shorts, and #3 has the o[pen shirt, and #1 has the Jesus bling and creepy look. #2 pulls ahead just a little. The pink shirt with the popped collar scream extreme douche and that look of, "I am going to hurl," just adds to the douchiness. Even the large amounts of cleavage in the picture cannot distract me from the douche.
 

World class competition this week in what feels like a Douche olympics, and by only a tenth of a douche it's #3 Jon Bon Douche.
 

# 4

The hottest of the hot.
The douchiest of the douche.
 

Yeah this is definately the toughest HCwDotW contest yet. The only thing that infuriates me about #4 is the hotness of the hottie. #1 is wearing some ridiculously stupid looking bling, and that faggy shirt. And although the hottie in the middle of #2 is smoking hot, her pink popped collared pansy just doesn't hold a candle to douche #3. It is hard to trump the open/no shirt. Plus the girl in the white is damn sexy. I vote #3.

Danny Bonadouchey
 

#3

Keith Richards is seemilngly bullet-proof, but if he saw the manner by which this prick is attempting to imitate him, I think Richards would keel over and die.
 

The way I see it, there's really only one clear choice, and that's #3, "Classic Poo." Here's my breakdown:

Gassy is just no big deal. Been there, done that. So he's a Croatian guy with the biggest Jesus bling this side of Barry Bonds' earring, going out to hit the clubs. His chicks aren't so great anyway--the one on the left is all right but the one on the right looks like she just got out of the gym. NEXT!

Pinkshirt McCollarpop isn't all that exciting either. I mean, I live in Fairfield County, CT so I see this every day. Again, the chicks aren't so great, and in fact the one in the middle looks old enough to be his mom. And the Keystone Light--if you're still drinking it after college, shame on you. NEXT!

Spanky--the only other real contender here, in my opinion. It's a great photo--great pose, great douchy outfit, and yes, the chick is hot fa real this time. But when you get down to it, it's just some folks having fun at a costume party, striking a pose. It's not douche in its natural habitat and too contrived. Still love the chick though.

Now--Classic Poo. A photo I wish I could say I found myself. This dude is like a douche archetype, a character you think only exists in literature or the movies or perhaps a Bon Jovi video circa 1988 . And here he is in the flesh, on some perfect picturesque California beach. I have a hard time comprehending that this is a real person and not a dude paid to dress up in a theme park or something, or some supreme douche-being that mistakenly got zapped over to our world on his motorcycle from an alternate douchiverse. Because dudes like this don't really exist, do they?? I guess that's what it looks like here, though. The chicks are not the greatest, not as hot as Spanky's girl (oh I wish that I had Spanky's girl!) but just fine and wearing some classy dresses as well as smiles that let you know they're thinking "holy crap, is this guy for real?"

So there it is--#3, no contest. Who's with me?
 

this is a douche vote for Spanky. that scrote makes me realize that there are things crawling under my skin that i didn't know about before.

i like the hotties in Classic Poo best though. so that gets an honorable mention too.
 

All signs point to #1. The bling is bad, but his menacing stare should be enough to frighten anyone off. If dude in #4 dressed like that in real life, that mixed doubles pair would take it, but I actually dig the costume.

Speaking of costumes, will we have a tribute to douche in disguise on Halloween?
 

I feel biased for voting for a 'bag that I submitted but what can I say? I'm rooting for him like a proud parent, you go spanky. #4 it is.
 

Normally, # 4 would have my vote in a heartbeat, but I think Lenny Kravitz douche finishes a close second to # 1 Gassy. I said it last week, an open shirt with Jay-Z bling = automatic winner for me. Plus, you can just tell that assbag uses Axe Body Spray....

Pinkus is a homo!!!
 

‘bags #3 and #4 are neck-in-douchey-neck but the gold goes to #4. In fact, here are our contestants in descending douche order: #4,#3,#1,#2.

Any douche that shaves - then oils down - his legs leaves no room for douche competition. I don’t care if it is a costume party. Not to mention tasty Scandinavian sweet tart w/milky way cleavite showing…I’d like to lead a Major Tom to that galaxy of goodness.
 

#2 for pure douche face.
 

Spanky's defintely got the most smokin' hottie of the bunch. If there was a "HC" contest sans the "wD", she'd be a top contender in my book.

As far as the whole package goes, the trophy definitely goes to Gassy McBling. What gets him over the top is the Jesus bling the size of the real thing (that rhymed).
 

This was a VERY tough contest this week. #3 and #4 are really close. Both are so douchey that it makes my head want to explode Scanner style, but in the end I'm gonna have to go with #4 Arthur Ash Douche. Here is my analysis: First, hottie in the picture is DAMN FINE. I would swim through shark infested waters with a chum bucket tied around my waste just to get to eat her nail clippings. Second, it has been mentioned that this is a costume party, which I can understand because this douche appears to be in costume. Thing is nobody else is wearing a costume. This leads me to one of two conclusions: Either this guy actually dresses like this or he decided to wear a costume to a non-costume party. Either way this makes him a major douchebag. Plus I'm jealous that he's getting to spank that hottie with a tennis racket.
 

Tough call. Going with the Bon Jovi douche in #3. That is a look that he worked on and perpetrated with no plausible excuse (like being drunk -- see #2; or being at a costume party -- see #4) other than he is a Godzilla-sized bag. The hair, the absence of a real shirt, the presence of a hair shirt, the inordinately gigantic bling, the shades -- this is a multi-layer douche. And you know he made sure they were going to be photographed near his "hog", just to prove to everyone that "on a steel horse" he rides.

Art of the Douche
 

THANK YOU, Art of the Douche, for telling it like it is.

Right on, brother!

Let's hear it for #3!
 

Man this one tears me up so much. #2 is just prototype douche with the bag expression and popped pink polo, not to mention the two muses who are rubbing against each other so much they've just planned out the rest of my night. However, the strength of the shapely uber-hottie in #4 with that vile scrote make this one a tough competition. What sends me over the edge, though, is the sunglasses/short short combination. What an asshole. Finally, the capturing of a douche move such as the paddle spank seals the deal.

#4 takes this one down
 

These are all fine specimens of douchebag, each possessing physical and fashion characteristics of world-class douchery, but I have to go with #4. The headband and multiple wristbands are a nice touch, and the shorts are terrifying, but he gets my vote for his meta use of an old school wooden racket. Yes, he's holding a "woody" up to this juicy morsel's ass. Well done, sir.
 

#3 hands down, he has no excuse but doucheyness for that photo
 

#3, oh god, #3, how can you possibly compete with that outfit?
 

errrrgh. I wasn't sure until I got to 4.
 

winner?

wrong.

if for no other reason, the explanation behind "wrong" himself was a moment of inspiration that may someday be equalled, if not topped. there is was, laid bare for all to read: the definition of "wrong", with the most appropriate graphic illustration ever. on some level i'm ashamed i can't ever be that clever.

ivonne goolagong deserves a nod as well, since it's brave enough to venture out into public in such a state, but nothing will ever top a popped collar on a pink polo. i don't care who you are. besides - it's probably not the first (or last) time that hottie was smacked from behind that night. i'm not making commentary on her personal proclivities, but - any girl who'd bend over for that guy would probably bend over for just about ANY guy.

she sure looks wholesome, though.
 

only time for a quick vote -- it's gotta be #1. It's as if that classic scrote has been reading the web site since day 1, and has put together the all-time bag of tricks to take victory. We cannot deny him victory, given that this is his life's work. The transparent shirt, apparently not see through enough, so unbuttoned to the navel. check. Blinding forehead. check. A cross so big the pope wouldn't wear it. check. hypnotic psychokiller eyes. check. hottie. double check.

that all said, however, Spanky kills me. Scrotastic!
 

#2.

Definately #2.
 

#4 because its so painful that i almost want to be that douche with the racket...despite the hate.