Wednesday, December 27, 2006
The Douchies: Douchiest Oldbag
Here's another category open to voting. I know a lotta 'bags, 'bag hunters and hotties are on vaca this week, but it's the end of year awards so if you have a fave, now's the time to vote in the comments thread. But enough of my rambling.
The nominees are...
Douchiest Oldbag #1: Richie Rich
Hip Hop is dead, sayeth Nas. And who am I to argue? Especially when creepy middle aged music producer types continue to score tall, leggy, blankly expressioned model types?
That's what makes the turntables spin, baby.
Douchiest Oldbag #2: Yellowtail
What more can be said about this saggy boobed monstrosity, other then if Richie Rich is a hip hop producer, this guy's one of those Phil Spector types, still trying to live up to his 1970s fame when he produced "A Fifth of Beethoven" for the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack. Yellowtail's gold chain remains one of the douchiest talismans to ever grace the site.
He's going to be hard to beat.
Douchiest Oldbag #3: Gramps
An early folk hero fan fave on the site, Gramps may have been the first 'bag to reverse the polarities through sheer force of will and end up a true legend. There's something to be said for being 70 and cuddling up to a girl in a purple satin lace bra as absolutely mouth watering skittles level tasty as this curvy viola.
Should Gramps take the Douchie?
It's up to you. Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
The nominees are...
Douchiest Oldbag #1: Richie Rich
Hip Hop is dead, sayeth Nas. And who am I to argue? Especially when creepy middle aged music producer types continue to score tall, leggy, blankly expressioned model types?
That's what makes the turntables spin, baby.
Douchiest Oldbag #2: Yellowtail
What more can be said about this saggy boobed monstrosity, other then if Richie Rich is a hip hop producer, this guy's one of those Phil Spector types, still trying to live up to his 1970s fame when he produced "A Fifth of Beethoven" for the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack. Yellowtail's gold chain remains one of the douchiest talismans to ever grace the site.
He's going to be hard to beat.
Douchiest Oldbag #3: Gramps
An early folk hero fan fave on the site, Gramps may have been the first 'bag to reverse the polarities through sheer force of will and end up a true legend. There's something to be said for being 70 and cuddling up to a girl in a purple satin lace bra as absolutely mouth watering skittles level tasty as this curvy viola.
Should Gramps take the Douchie?
It's up to you. Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 5:26 AM 
Comments:
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Yellowtail makes me want to hurl. The others just make me want to cry. Yellowtail takes the crown and leaves the other two in the dust.
# posted by 
: 6:41 AM
: 6:41 AM
Even though Gramps' cutie is far and away the hottest, Yellowtail's man-tits are flap-jacking their way around victory lane.
Gramps is classy, old-school guido douche that somewhere along the line understood that he was an old guy and started dressing appropriately. Still he sports native american bling versus the modern jesus bling...(ah, who can forget the Avon arrowhead?) Anyway, he is far too classy in a geriatric way to win this award. Richie Rich, while old, just exudes "fat" and an inauthentic pretension that makes it seem that this is simply a public persona and not something he does while at home.
Yellowtail, however, is the epitome of pathetic old douche. He believes he is a chick magnet and when he has moments of self-doubt he demands a blow job to bring his self-respect back. Yes, he is the deserving Douchie winner here.
Yellowtail, however, is the epitome of pathetic old douche. He believes he is a chick magnet and when he has moments of self-doubt he demands a blow job to bring his self-respect back. Yes, he is the deserving Douchie winner here.
# posted by : 7:29 AM
: 7:29 AM
YellowTail it is. Anyone who wears a leather shirt and looks like a gay Eliot Gould deserves the award!
Yellowtail.
Gramps is just plain having fun, and enjoying being within 10 miles of a lovely honey. The other two, they're just out clubbin' w. babes to makes guys like us want to tear out our own esophagus's and throw them in hydrochloric acid.
Gramps is just plain having fun, and enjoying being within 10 miles of a lovely honey. The other two, they're just out clubbin' w. babes to makes guys like us want to tear out our own esophagus's and throw them in hydrochloric acid.
I gotta give it up to yellowtail! The glasses, the hair, the huge nose, the shaved chest, unsahved belly... He makes me want to rip out my liver and saute it in my own urine and serve it up with a nice cosmo!
# posted by : 1:21 PM
: 1:21 PM
Nice to see Yellowtail finally getting the respect he deserves. It really is a disturbing photo, and yes, he is the douchiest oldbag to ever grace the site. No contest.
on balance i think i'll have to hand it to Yellowtail too. Gramps only lost out because he only had one hottie.
# posted by : 4:03 PM
: 4:03 PM
I almost went with Gramps. The way his fingers are inching closer to the devine Mon Glutes of the delicious Decepticon Baggete is truly inspiring.
But Yellowtail it is. The wrap-around shades, the open chest leather jacket, the Ric Flair man boobs, and the fact one of the hotties is a dead ringer for Trish Stratus have sold me.
But Yellowtail it is. The wrap-around shades, the open chest leather jacket, the Ric Flair man boobs, and the fact one of the hotties is a dead ringer for Trish Stratus have sold me.
While Gramps' lady is the hottest of the bunch, there's no defeating Yellowtail. This lightly-seared piece of tuna is a world-beating douchebag. He's like Vasco de Gama: he's already turned the corner on everyone else and is charting new seas, new lands and new snatch.
For as much as I loathe him, I want to be him. I wish him the best (which is to say an expanding forceps in his ass) and would ask only that he spare us the nipple shots in the future.
For as much as I loathe him, I want to be him. I wish him the best (which is to say an expanding forceps in his ass) and would ask only that he spare us the nipple shots in the future.
I cant stop staring at Gramps' fine ass chick he paid to stand next to him. I think he could really give Yellowtail a run for his money if he had on a little more douchey gear, I mean, the shirt is ugly as fuck, but he is lacking what this site is all about, and that is Yellowtail. He wins, hands down, his titties even bow down in respect, now that is some douche power. Those chicks don't hurt either. I only wish we could see how ridiculous the toupee he must be wearing is. We might also want to do research to see if this is possibly the Grieco's father, just for a little bit of douche family ancestry.
-my vote-Yellowtail
-my vote-Yellowtail
# posted by : 11:13 PM
: 11:13 PM
Yellowtail. He turns my blood to refrigerant, shrinks my testes to the size of mouse turds. He is the leering, stumbling equivalent of a steel-and-leather sofa left in the rain on a curb, only there's a beautiful woman sitting on it, inexplicably, her soul weeping.
And besides that, he's Colonel Creepinski. I wish him ill.
And besides that, he's Colonel Creepinski. I wish him ill.
# posted by : 7:58 PM
: 7:58 PM
Gramps#1 what is he?An anomaly and the wax model is his just reward.
Gramps #3,I like him.Well done Sir.Kudos.He's taken his moment well.
Yellowtail.........the douche that time forgot.Only one thing to say about him.You're a dick like your mother's dick and the only way you should die is to be fried in diarrhea.
Gramps #3,I like him.Well done Sir.Kudos.He's taken his moment well.
Yellowtail.........the douche that time forgot.Only one thing to say about him.You're a dick like your mother's dick and the only way you should die is to be fried in diarrhea.
# posted by : 3:45 AM
: 3:45 AM
First guy was hit in the face with a frying pan.
The second guy's teets are filled with chocolate milk.
Third guy has been dead for over an hour.
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The second guy's teets are filled with chocolate milk.
Third guy has been dead for over an hour.
# posted by : 4:28 AM
: 4:28 AM << Home
