For setting the standard for all douchosity as we've come to know it, for defining the modern club going, greased up Jersey 'bag, and for polluting the once pure and snowy Fair Maiden Yasmine Bleeth until she became a 'bag hand gesturing cokehead, our first Douchie Award must honor the hallowed Grieco himself.

Skeezier than even that other contender for the source-douche crown, Micky Rourke'bag, The Grieco's overwhelming power of douchosity ripples and refracts across all corners of the pop culture spectrum.

From the early 1990s with his bling, facial pubes and bizarre t-shirts, The Grieco set the standard by which all other douchebags only hope to live up to.

He scrotes with the power of a thousand nuclear suns.

He is the Source.

He is the Origin.

He is The Holy Douche by which all others are measured. Do not doubt Him. For He has powers of 'baggery you can't even begin to fathom.

Let us all bow our heads on this Christmas Day and solemnly hand out our very first Douchey Award for Lifetime Douchievement to the ur-scrote Himself, Richard Grieco. Come let us a-douche Him.

I feel humbled merely being in His greasy presence. I am touched by His 'baggery. Remember kids, every time a Grieco rings, a douchebag gets his bling.