Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Enter the Douchebag
Let there be no confusion. Douche Lee is not "man" nor "woman." Douche Lee has no time for such petty categorizations and spiritually vapid gender classifications.
Douche Lee is a higher level of spirit. A far more expansive plateau of existence. He has no time for your attempts to classify him. He is both chick and douche, male and female, in one Yin/Yang corporeal body of earthly manifestation.
Do not doubt the Douche Lee. For he will only grow douchier.
Instead let us all bow to the gender confusing Pat-level Zen Master. Like an apparition he graces our site in brief pixelated form, only to move on to corral hotties with his mystifying douche powers forever more.
Lets us take a moment to nod our collective heads and honor Douche Lee for his brief appearance in our lives. He has touched all of us. Perhaps in inappropriate ways. But his legend has only grown. And like all douche legends, we will sing songs to his memory around the campfire for many a moon. Many a lonely Douche Lee moon.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 8:13 AM 
Comments:
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look at the petite hands and confusing gold to silver bling ratio. probably a girl, certainly a douche.
-dbagsupreme
-dbagsupreme
# posted by 
: 10:49 AM
: 10:49 AM
i too feel douche lee is a lesbian. the read sad thing is that she has probably gotten more hot chicks than all of us straight men
# posted by : 10:59 AM
: 10:59 AM
Definitely a chick. Which begs the question, is this obvious lesbian wearing the christian holy symbol with irony or earnestness? I'm not religious, just curious. No, not THAT kind of curious.
All hail his Holiness, the Douchey Lama. His benevolence is unfathomable. His wisdom in the ways of douche are infinite.
All hail his Holiness, the Douchey Lama. His benevolence is unfathomable. His wisdom in the ways of douche are infinite.
All hail his Holiness, the Douchey Lama. His benevolence is unfathomable. His wisdom in the ways of douche are infinite.
Male or female, this is my new favorite douche. Sorry Big Red, but maybe if you had worn your black and gray polo to that dance instead of the lime green outfit, you'd still be number 1.
Danny Bonnadouchey
Danny Bonnadouchey
# posted by : 1:39 PM
: 1:39 PM
I bow my head seven times to Douche-Lee-Lama-San, the Holy Eternal Spirit of Sexually-Ambivalent Bagness. May He-She long continue to make hot hetero chicks think they are bi, so that they go on performing sloppy kissing together in clubs for the benefit of onlookers.
# posted by : 2:38 PM
: 2:38 PM
if douche lee is a guy, than he's like 14 years old. If DL is a chick, than HOLY NO JUGS BATMAN!
# posted by : 3:05 PM
: 3:05 PM
Well said, DB1. Douche Lee has no gender. It is a eunuch and as such is unassailable and worthy only of observation and restrained awe. They say that there is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard, only another fist. Similarly, under Douche Lee's Ron Mexico jersey there are no breasts, no nipples or chesthair. Just the souls of all the hotties s/he's bagged and we haven't.
It is a mistake to assume that Douche Lee has no gender. Rather than being sexless or androgenous, Douche Lee embodies all forms of sexuality. Douche Lee, is the true sentient embodiment of the genital tubercle, that embryonic tissue that can form the penis or the clitoris depending on the hormonal milieu. In simplistic terms, s/he is more man than you'll ever be, more woman than you'll ever have. Douche Lee IS sex, as sex approaches infinity and becomes an abstraction. Refer to the picture below and see that the young women in his presence are dazed, hypnotized. Their carnal natures have begun to enter a flux by sitting within the vortex of Douche Lee. Each one of them is touching another. They are under the spell of this sexual shape-shifter. It is a power rooted in the creational mythology, the unsettling expanse of all things being possible. Douche Lee is what s/he wants and takes what s/he wants. Do not doubt this power.
Rex
Rex
# posted by : 4:23 PM
: 4:23 PM
agreed, anonymous. s/he doth indeed embody all that is SEX. (and it makes me scared of sex, at 30 years old...i'm now very confused at to what sex means anymore.) Anyhoo...s/he does seem to defy all of the cosmic/astral and earthly/physical definitions of gender. Perhaps s/he is in fact, ALMIGHTY GOD. I need another drink. I shudder to think of what else the infinite conciousness has in store for us.
Douche Lee what can I say simply amazing, he hits with the 1-2 combo then puts me out with the upperdouche cut for the tko.
# posted by : 1:34 AM
: 1:34 AM
Douche Lee somehow has harnessed the ancient power of douche-chi. I bow before you, Douche Lee.
# posted by : 10:37 PM
: 10:37 PM
yes douche lee might seem little and sexless but dont be fooled. he prob has gotten around twice as much as all these comment leavers combined. the amount of foreign models that throw themselves at him will make anyone envious. if only every douche could have that much play =D trust me. i spent three months witnessing this phenomenon and still can't figure out why.
# posted by : 6:29 AM
: 6:29 AM
No offense, and I'm not questioning the douchebaggish appearance of the androgynous douchebag in the picture, but Christ dude, that commentary is pretty fucking racist.
# posted by : 12:54 PM
: 12:54 PM
Douche Lee is the ultimate player and fan. Both waterboy and girl, S/he epitomizes the game. Grass on the field not necessary, this douche will play under any circumstances. Don't let the jersey sway you, Douche Lee is ready to play for either team. Michael Vick should be wearing YOUR jersey Your Royal Doucheness!
I think I ass-banged this thing on Phuket Island two years ago, during an intense 3-week love affair with peyote and absinthe. Nice to see he/she made it to the states.
# posted by : 8:49 PM
: 8:49 PM
this is blatantly racist, homophobic, and trans-phobic. don't confuse comedy with being being oppressive.
# posted by : 5:52 PM
: 5:52 PM
The post above can go to hell. Recognize humor bitch, do the world a favor and die!!!!!
# posted by : 12:36 AM
: 12:36 AM
Holy crap, I think my sister dated this girl before. She may not look like much, but she'll fuck up a bar full of sailors any day.
# posted by : 11:21 PM
: 11:21 PM
I think "Douche Lee" used to work in Adidas on Carnaby Street in London. Girl, but possibly lesbot.
# posted by : 7:57 AM
: 7:57 AM
I see her at Free Zone in Vegas Fruit Loop all the time. Baby dykery at it's finest.
# posted by : 12:39 AM
: 12:39 AM
Douche Lee needs to get the boot from the Hall. He/She can't be both the douche and the hott. not fair. And as the sole possible hott, not hot enough. and as the sole douche, not douche enough. Douche Lee could play in the all-douche game, but the HOS, I think not.
I'm going to have to give Douche Lee some props and some anti-douche cred. For Master Lee knows that women love androgyny, and Master Lee has perfected the art. If anyone might question women's love of androgyny, let me point to the poularity of David Bowie, The Cure, Fall Out Boy, Poison, Ratt, Motley Crue, My Chemical Romance, Prince, and any version of 'Hairspray', thank you, members of the jury, I rest my case.
But where Douche Lee hones his/her craft is in knowing that he/she has three crucial factors working in his/her favor. Douche Lee is a.)petite b.)cute and c.)non-threatening. You don't see burly man-beast douche dykes like Rosie O'donnell lying in clubs smothered in hott gravy, do you? I'm going to have to admire the master at work here, making his/her own Crying Game come to life.
But where Douche Lee hones his/her craft is in knowing that he/she has three crucial factors working in his/her favor. Douche Lee is a.)petite b.)cute and c.)non-threatening. You don't see burly man-beast douche dykes like Rosie O'donnell lying in clubs smothered in hott gravy, do you? I'm going to have to admire the master at work here, making his/her own Crying Game come to life.
# posted by : 3:54 PM
: 3:54 PM
HOLY SHIT...I THINK KIM-JUNG IL JUST FOUND A TIME MACHINE AND WARPED BACK TO WHEN HE WAS 15! Don't underestimate them tricky Koreans...
# posted by : 5:57 PM
: 5:57 PM
I'm Asian but these comments are fucking hysterical, keep 'em coming.
That's definitely a Douche that Douches but if lesbians look that good, maybe I'm hanging out at the wrong bars!
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That's definitely a Douche that Douches but if lesbians look that good, maybe I'm hanging out at the wrong bars!
# posted by : 2:04 PM
: 2:04 PM << Home
