#3. No exit hands down. But maybe #2 can get some kind of lifetime achievement award. Back in his day I'm sure he could out-douche all these fuckers.
 

Not too hard of a choice from the Ed Wood B-movie scrotes this week, DB1...

Blondenstein (aka FrankenBag): While this fetid homunculus of parts stitched together from from 'bags long dead IS indeed unholy to behold, he just doesn't make me want to brandish a torch and old-fashioned rake and take to the streets in an orgy of sheer xenophobic hatred. He's too laughably clueless. I mean, for fuck's sake, he's vearing a velvet coat. FIRE BAD!!!!

Yellowtail (aka LeatherScrote): The hotties are strong with this one. But this wind-battered douche is
just plain sad. He makes Charles Bronson look like an Oil of Olay model. He obviously owns either a strip club or a small-time porn studio. Thus, this is what I aspire to be in 30 years. Still a bag, but somehow an enviable one.

No Exit (aka Creature From the 'Bag Lagoon): This Eartha Kitt-looking reptile is CLEARLY the most pud-tastic of the three. While not QUITE as freaky as last week's Pat pic, he's pushing the box and thinking outside the envelope, hatching new and diabolical ways to spread his douchey seed from his secret aquatic lair. He only surfaces to inject his spermatophores into the mantle cavities of lovely, yet confused, visions such as that on the right. Oh, and occassionally to purchase a shell necklace, dog tags, cheap shades, and maybe a silver ring or three. 'Bag Lagoon, we will find you. And there will be no catch and release.
 

#2 Yellowtail. Simply due to hotness of his chicks.
 

No Exit because with those eyes on the side of of his face he's actually checking out the girl in the pink top behind him.
 

There's no denying the unholy bagness that is #2. Being old and pathetic are not attenuating circumstances, in my Book of the 'Bag. And his hotties appear much more sexually available than #3's, who's fake smile clearly indicates that she is dying inside.
 

I guess I'm the first to vote for the white kid & play clone blondie! The other two are DBs yes.....but blondie is in a class all his own!
 

I have to go with number 2 because it is so sad and douchy that he thinks he looks good with his saggy man breasts.
 

#1 is just desperate for attention with the vertical hair; #2 is creepy and disgusting but well past his prime, and thank God none of us had to witness that. #3 is the runaway victor this week thanks to the girl next door hottie, the absurd neckwear, his misguided belief that he is number one, and the rare sunglasses on the forehead look. Congratulations, index finger ring-wearing scuzzbucket.
 

#2 Yellowtail

The other 2 are, as Mitch Meats says, Ed Wood C-list sideshow circus acts. I can smell Yellowtail's D&G cologne from here, and it's mixed with his rancid BO and sweat below his saggy tits.
 

I have to vote for #1. The girl in the middle is about as sexy as they come. The real reason that Blondenstein earned my vote though, is that at one point in the day, after he finished styling his hair, he actually looked in a fucking mirror and thought, "Man, I look GOOD".

Danny Bonnadouchey
 

Gotta go with No Exit. Three reasons for this move: 1. His HC looks like a human being in contrast to the silico-sluts in the others. 2. Yellowtail's been at it so long he's already got a mantle full of HCwDoW awards; fuck, he's got a garage full of 'em. And 3. Blondenstein isn't a douchebag. He's just a chunky morsel of SciFi convention twerpitude.
 

I have to believe Thomas Dolbag is joking, so I eliminate #1 from serious contention, even though his hair is stunning.

That leaves two competitors, the old bag and the indeterminate gender/ethnicity bag. I cast my vote for the old bag. I think No Exit desperately wants to be what Yellowtail already is and has been for years. If you are still busting out an unbuttoned leather shirt with those shades, that tan and that feathered hair at the age of 50+, you have earned a lifetime achievement award.

Art of the Douche
 

It's gotta be #3. No Exit is so oily and repellant he's almost a reptile or French, which is worse. An the hottie has that "I'm in Jamaica with my hot girlfriends" look to her. The more I look at him the more I want to clean my golf spikes with his face and punch her friends for letting him get that close. I will now take a double of JD to wash the oily taste this pic has left in my mouth
 

somewhat close this week, between #2 and #3. however, as much cheese may have accumulated under #2's saggy bitch-tits over the years, and i can smell the putrid stench of YSL Opium cologne through my screen that this senior-douche is wearing, I have to go with #3, NO EXIT. I wonder if his tongue is as efficient as a frog's at catching flies.


Ribbit.
 

def one of the hardest contests ever, ill leave the epics to the douche schollars and simply say #2 wins because he exists, oh the humanity.
 

My vote is for Yellowtail ... maybe if he wins we can all pitch in to get him a chest wax.
 

I don't know what's going on with #1, but he certainly isn't mocking me. We mock him! That doesn't make him much of a douche, but more so a confused and desperate individual. This man is out of ideas and out of touch with true doucheness, he's crying out for help. Maybe Socrates can help him?

#2 looks like and must be a porn director. Thus, he has chosen a profession in which the dress code requires gold chains and semi-shaded sunglasses be worn with sweaty chest hair visible at all times. The fact two industry hotties are posing with him does not earn him the reclassification to true douchebag.

Gallum (#3) here is a true douchebag. He purposely dresses like a scrote and hotties reward him with their warm presence. It appears his popularity from the Lord of the Rings' series has attracted a bevy of half-naked hoochies, as pink girl awaits in the background her chance to get close with this greasy monster. I thought Gallum was cute in the movie, but apply some dogtags, a coral necklace, some finger rings, indoor shades, and a touch of TAG bodyshots and he becomes douche too. The moral of the story is: it doesn't matter how grotesque you are, the power of douche is unrelenting. Its power is only matched by the gravity of Earth.


Douchehunter
 

if i were allowed a write-in, i'd go with "the thing." ben grimm looks as if he's made out of rocks... just add some self-tanning orange color and you'd be complete.

with the contestants we have, i'd have to go with #3 - no exit. sunglasses under the bangs WITH a coral necklace plus a dog tag has even the scrote gods AND pat shaking their heads. add to that the fact that no exit is calling himself the #1 scrote with his finger pointed upwards... probably towards the scrote gods.
 

Although Blondstein's booby companion is a turkey I'll be having dreams about stuffing for the rest of my life and his hair is an open challenge to the Nobel Prize Committee to rewrite the law of physics, he's too dweeby a douche to worry about.

Yellowtail is a pro and so are those sperm receptacles surrounding him so he's out.

Which brings us to No Exit or as I like to call him, Kimodo Dragon Douche. Kimodo Douche has that je ne sais quoi (sp?) creep factor ala Pat that leaves way more questions than answers. The envelope pushers for me are 1. the hand signal with cellphone which is the douchiest of all douchey hand signals and 2. That turquoise bracelet on the same hand. Man that is some whackass douchitude. This week, vote Balinese Bag. Kimodo Douche all the way.
 

This one is tougher than it looks!

I was already to go with Yellowtail, hands down--I mean, any 'bag that has more leathery skin than George Hamilton (and who's also about as old) and leaves his also leathery shirt WIDE open just can't be topped, right?

Then I started reading the arguments for No Exit, and I started to have doubts. And I started to examine his picture more closely. From the accessories alone we can tell this guy's a big time douchebag--throw in a creepy molester-grin and you've got some considerable 'baggery going on. And his wholesome looking spring-break coed hottie definitely makes you think "what the hell is she doing with him?"

But I have to ask myself--which one of these guys would be more unusual to see in real life? Which one is more delusional? And without hesitation, I say it's #2. Dudes that look like No Exit are a dime a dozen at the club--his accessories may be ridiculous but his shirt and hair are pretty tame.

Grampa 'Bagster, on the other hand, is a true rarity. We've had oldbags on this site before, but have any been caught trying nearly as hard as this geezer? The feathered Fonz-do, the euro-rave shades, the medallion, the leather shirt, the openness of said shirt, the deep oiled catcher's mitt tan--just two or three of those elements are enough to achieve major 'bag status. But put them all together and the douchosity increases exponentially. It's unfathomable. If I keep thinking about it I'm gonna roll my sleeves all the way up and start pacing the room like Jim Cramer.

Plus, his chicks are hotter. That slimmed down Anna Nicole on the left with the old west bordello corset-for-a-shirt? Makes me wanna drunkenly blow bubbles in a tub like Jackie Chan and The Butterscotch Stallion in Shanghai Noon. Course I pretty much always wanna do that.

Sorry to ignore Frankenbagger for my argument thus far...here's my two cents: hilarious photo, but take away the hair and he's got nuthin'. Simple as that.

In conclusion--#2 gets my vote.
 

#3, no question. Frankly, I'm surprised there's even a debate. #1 is clearly more of a dweeb than a 'bag and, as has been mentioned already, #2 and his consorts are clearly professionals, which should disqualify them immediately. And that leaves us with No Exit. Fuck, just look at him. No, seriously, control your gag reflex as best you can and just look at him. Let's do the math: Douche-smirk + ethnically incongruous hair dye job + ((sunglasses x number of hairs cascading over them)/price of the sunglasses) + pucca shell necklace + dogtags + finger acknowledgment to the Big Douchebag in the Sky +(finger accessories x 3) + (open shirt x number of open buttons) + bag headbutt and all multiplied by a Hot Chick factor of 8 = one of the rankest scrotes ever to ooze his way into these hallowed pages. If he were a little greasier and had a more flamboyant shirt, we'd all be lining up to crown him Proto-Bag of the century.
 

I don't want to have to restate my ironclad case for the Jimmy Smits bag known as No Exit but I just want everyone to remember this: the aged leather carpaccio above is an industry professional. He's also got 40 years of douching under his rhinestone belt; it's just not fair to consider him because if we do, we'll have him winning every week. He's unfuckingtouchable. In douching circles, he's God.
 

Damn a tough choice. 1 & 2 have uber-hotties, whereas as 3 is a complete fucktard.

I gotta go with 1, Blondenstein. The hotties are the hottest out of the 3. The girl in the middle is top shelf, and the blondie to the right ain't no slouch either. Frankenbag doesn't have much going for douchiness other than his goofy hair. But Frankenbag was there in that picture and I wasn't. That pisses me off more than the other 2 pics.

I think 3 would be more suited for a HCwC (Hot Chicks with Cretins) website. He looks a chromosome short.

Don Jaun de la Douche
 

I'm going with 2. Its kinda weird, like the dude's breasts are trying to imitate the hottie's breasts in order to impress her.
 

This weeks contest was a tough one to come up with a final victor for, but it has to be #3, No Exit.
He seems to exude the "I'm a Russian Mobster and I can afford this bundle of hotness in my arms". The sunglasses, the rings on more than one finger, the necklaces and the douchie-smug look on his face like he deserves such hotness. All he deserves is to have a six foot spike shoved up his ass and left out in the arctic tundra to freeze-dry-off for a few days.

Honorable mention goes out to the Yellowtail picture. Regardless of how real or fake they are, blondie has some amazing cleavite and is a whole lotta nice!
 

if you look at it, #1 Super Saiyan wannabe probably just got lucky with that pic. #2 and #3 look much more experienced in abusing the hotties.

BUT, Yellowtail's hottie factor is overwhelming. so i have to vote for him.

honorable mention though: i knew that No Exit would make it to HCwDotW.
 

I agree with my esteemed colleagues above: No Exit is the hands-down winner. Franken-bag is more pud than douche. Yellow Tail is obviously a professional and should be disqualified for that reason, leathery, saggy bitch-tits aside. No-Exit just makes my skin crawl and that smirk haunts my dreams.

23 Ski-douche
 

2 all the way. hope im still scoring when im 109.
 

I vote for No Exit
 

#2 yellow tail...

Old douche is the best douche
 

Um...I don't get it.

Why do so many think that being a "pro" in the porno industry disqualifies a guy from being a true douchebag? Or at least from being chosen in a HCwDB contest?

Are you going to tell me that Ron Jeremy isn't an incredibly skeezy 'bagger? Cuz I'm not buying it.

A guy becoming a pro is, at least in my opinion, a pretty hardcore embracing of a douchey lifestyle. "Living the Douche," if you will.

I understand that it's more "real" and upsetting to see a non-pro douche corrupting a girl-next-door kind of hottie, but c'mon. There's no proof that ol' leathertits has any connection to the porn industry, and the possibility that he does shouldn't detract from the amazing HCwDB combo exhibited in his photo. This isn't staged like a costume party pic, which understandably lessens the power of a combo. I discovered this pic at a "nightlife" site among many pictures of more normal looking folks.

As for the ladies being pros, well...isn't paying for the "company" of an "escort" pretty douchey as well? I mean, if we're talking about a dude posing with some model next to a rice rocket at a car expo, yes, that's lame and the dude is NOT actually "scoring hotties" and is ergo not much of a 'bag. I think this site rose above pictures of that variety back in April or May.

So all I'm saying is--pros or not, photo #2 in this contest is deeply disturbing and deserving of your vote.
 

I vote #2: Yellowtail

#3 is close, but i think his extraterrestrial ancestry disqualifies him... Grr--his hottie is so bright-eyed...
 

As much as I want to vote for #3, I just can't becuase I kind of feel sorry for him. Most douchebags can change their look to be less douchey if they really want to. This guy is going to look like this no matter what he does. I vote for #2. He simply makes me ill.
 

i'm offended by douchestar runner's comment. i am forced to pay for escorts and said "company" because douchebags are taking up all the "free" hotties...that's what makes them a douche and what makes people like me so frustrated...otherwise, if they were paying for it, why would i care? anyone can do that.
 

#3 is The One. #2, while incredibly skeezy, looks as if he might be at a costume party or something. I mean, he's a little TOO ridiculous and that Moulin Rouge corset thing the blonde honey is wearing leads me to believe that the environment is artificial. #3 on the other hand was clearly captured in his natural habitat.