good god
 

Unbelievable. This guy's paw looks to be bigger than both her tits.

I don't know if he's really a douche or such a freak of nature that there is no classification for him, except Bruce Banner's alter-ego.

But he's not green.

Indiana Douche and the Last Douchebag
 

I found this gem on one of the sites I frequent when I am bored at work. Here's an interesting tidbit to make this even more painful: She is a former high school teacher who also did Playboy. I never had a teacher quite like that.

Danny Bonnadouchey.
 

This completely ruined my day!
Why OH why!?

- Otto Graf von Douchemark
 

I wonder if the head in his pants is as small as the head on his shoulders.
 

Well, of course a bone can also function as a tool. It works best as a hand tool.
 

C'mon pumpy. Grab your own breasts, they are bigger!
 

this picture is all kinds of wrong. starting with the sheer size of this cro-magnon man, then moving to the comfortable smile of the girl's face as she allows steriod man to molest her left breast. her breasts are as fake as the odd absence of any hair on mr. 'roidbag. if she stands in the frozen food section for too long, her boobs harden.

-pfah
 

I think this guy may have just been bumped up to the three spot on my list of "douchebags who I want to beat profusely with a tire iron" right behind Donkey Douche and The Mug.
 

Holy hell in a hand-basket. This freak's bicept is larger than his head. She's every kind of hot. Too bad she's partial to feel-copping douchebag retards.

Have you been watching the TCM channel, DB1?

Amerigo Vesdouchey
 

Petey tells me he'd like to embark on a space odyssey to her love canal.

AV
 

the guy's head is so incredibly small for his body- it almost looks like his head was photo shopped onto this picture-
boy is she going to be dissapointed to find this guy's nuts are the size of apples seeds.
 

oh dear lord... i have no idea what's going on in this picture! he's so built he's cartoonish, like they forgot to make him hulk green when they filled him in. I don't know why you would let anything so freakish touch you, much less smile while he's doing it!
 

This photog better run. He's managed to capture and alpha douche just before he mounts this tara reid tang.

Look at his face as he cups that little bean bag. He is not enjoying his feel, he is protecting what is rightfully his. Like an ape he is positioning to show dominance. If this were video, chest pounding would ensue before the inevitable attack.

He is about to get angry and you will not like him when he is angry.

-DuckDuckDouche
 

I don't like him even when he's not angry.

Indiana Douche and the Last Douchebag
 

hmm I wonder if Pumpy will make it into the elusive Hall of Scrote.
 

Dollars to donuts his legs are so skinny it looks like he is being piggy-backed by an osterich.

too busy "blasting" his arms to work the legs.

and she is just lovin' it! And you know he humped her like a gorrila humps a volleyball, complete with grunts and growling. "Zug Zug like that very much"


beerslayer
 

Alright, enough steroid bags for one week. Ever since Donkey Douche I've been seeing 70-inch chests in my sleep. Can we get back to wholesome, normal douche like Pin Diesel or The Turd and the Swan? I feel like I've added six inches to my biceps just from visiting this site lately.
DB1 is right, though, this guy leaves nothing to ambiguity. His mammoth mit on her palatial mound sends a clear message, one that I'm going to ignore and go ahead and excuse myself to the restroom.
 

What is this? World Wrestling Federation wannabe week?

Between this guy and Sly Scrote I'm not sure I have any blood left, it has all gone to my head from the rage I am harnessing.

I bet Pump has the scrawniest legs you've ever seen.

Douchehunter
 

Me Stan. Me grab girl. Me grab girl's boobie. Me like. Eat now?
 

Pumpy is not as douchey as DD or some others. Sure, he's got the glasses and he's pawing her silicone funbag, but he's lacking hand gestures, bling, etc.
 

I'm hoping that the tv falls off of the stand landing right on Goliath's head leaving hottie grope free and unscathed.
 

id make fun of this guy but im afraid he'd find out who i am somehow and rip me in two
 

Get that gorilla's hands off that woman, pronto! Eek! And take away his steroids too.
 

Musclehead,
you fail to account for the douchey tan and the grease this guy presents himself with. He's a true douche.

Douchehunter
 

Douchehunter-
Not to quibble, but if he is somewhere with palm trees, isn't it normal to have a tan?

I can't see the grease, b/c of the glare on my screen. After sundown I'll take another look.
 

Get your hands off her, you damn, dirty ape!

In all seriousness, though, I too must question exactly how douchy this meat sock really is. True, he's rocking the tan, but as has been stated, he's also in a place with palm trees, so that's a push. Second, he appears to be completely devoid of body hair, which is definitely a douchebag trait. However, given his freakish size--above and beyond what you'd find in your typical Jersey-bag--it's possible that this guy is a professional bodybuilder and unless that occupation in and of itself constitutes douchitude, I can't condemn him on that count alone. I think I'm going to need a ruling on that one. Third, he doesn't have the baggy straight brim or 10% ass-tilt to his headgear. Fourth, no chin fungus. Also, given his clean cut appearance, lack of sideburns, and general attitude of his hat, it's likely that his haircut is downright conservative. Given the facts above, all we've got to go on is his beefy mitt enveloping her tit, and really, who among you wouldn't be doing the same thing if you were in his position?

23 Skidouche
 

This guy looks retarded haha. I am more enraged by this hottie choosing such an obvious doofus.
 

I may be a douche!? I have sideburns and hair on my chin. And I don't have hair on my torso.

Then again, I don't wear a straight brim hat, grease up, have a tan, nor do I have douchey shades (it may be retro, but I still wear only Oakleys). In addition, there are not, nor have there even been, pictures of me pawing silicone filled funbags, nor many pictures of me sans shirt.

Judges.. can we have a ruling?
 

Oh ferfuckssake...

For all you level-10 and under 'bagslayers this is OBVIOUSLY a douche of the highest order. Yeah, yeah, he may not be rocking the addoucheremonts. But look deep into your alcohol-raddled brains and tell me you do not want to bury this fuckwit under seventeen layers of pain.

Yeah, I thought not.

Embrace the bitterness.
 

P.S.

okaybabe is dreamy.
 

okaybabe is oh so more than okay!
 

"a rat-tat-tat with my gat"
 

Pumpy can squeeze enough juice out of that hottie's lemons to keep the whole Royal Navy from getting scurvy. Argh!
 

my HCwDotW detector just exploded. i have no idea how i should interpret this reaction.
 

Looks like Jim from "the Office" after a year of training with Barry Bonds.

The pic is far too funny to be spew-worthy. This just looks like a hot blonde version of Dian Fossey with a hairless silverback. How does she get him to wear the hat and glasses? Amazing.
 

THIS IS THE ACTUAL PUMPY. I LOVE THE COMMENTS PLEASE KEEP THEM COMING. FUNNY STUFF. IT AMAZES ME HOW MUCH TIME AND HOW INSIGNIFICANT YOUR LIVES ARE THAT YOU HAVE TO COMMENT ON THOSE WHO YOU WISH YOU COULD BE. WHAT A CLASSIC HATER PAGE, IT’S GREAT. AND YES MY HEAD IS SMALL AND YES HER BOOBS ARE FAKE AND WE WOULDN’T HAVE IT ANYOTHER WAY. CREATIVE STUFF THOUGH GUYS HAVE TO ADMIT LAUGHED MY ASS OFF AT SOME OF YOUR COMMENTS. THIS SHOULD SPARK SOME CONTROVERSY….SO BRING IT!!!!
 

Come On!!!
This is obviously Ben Afleck in a muscle suit.

Or wait...

It's completly fake...

Don't believe every bag that you see...
 

Yeah, I want to look like a shiny, over-inflated man balloon.
 

Bwa ha. Pumpy looks like a Steadman caricature come to life.
 

Who is that SHREK? HAHHAHAHAH sooo funny. loser
 

hope they get skin cancer from all their douchey suntanning
 

She must feel inferior dating pumpy, his pecks are D cup.
 

Wait so if I'm a microcephalic and spend my life worshiping at teh alter of the iron gods while cutting my life expectancy in half with the Direct Muscle Injection workout.. I can get 30 sec of boob squeezing? Sign me up!
 

I'd like to take that chick out on a date, maybe dinner...some champagne, a foot massage with various brazilian oils as she lies on a bed of rose pedals, then id talk with her for hours about all of her interests making direct eye contact...really getting to know who she is as a human being... then
id rape her and throw her body in the charles river
 

Alas the sad part to all this is, there were two hotties next to roid boy. Hunger took over and now there is one. I also wonder how many bottles of coppertone it takes to cover an acre of douche.
 

he's just making sure his boobs are bigger than hers
 

not so much the greatest douchebag of all time, as this is one of the funniest pictures of all time
 

Thank you Pumpy for providing this humble douche with 25 minutes of straight laughter. Don't look so worrided, her tits are like small rasins compared to your own.
 

Right after this photo was taken, Hercules proceeded to eat his female subject...literally.
 

Shrunken head douche! When your head looks like its been cut out and slapped on another body and you look like a cartoon character its time to lay off roids.
The lovely creature who appears to be trapped is
Erica Chevillar, "hot for teacher" playboy 4/06. For anyone who wants to see more of her minus the douchebag and her clothes!
 

So, I'm wondering why guys like this get this big and mark their bitches like a dog pisses on a tree. After serving in the military for several years, I know this guy can be taken out rather easily. Hell, no, I don't mean I'd fight him. But, there's something to be said for accuracy at 500 yards. I'm no coward - I know my limits. The hard part would be aiming for this guy's head - it's like 4 sizes too small for his freakishly large body. Is there an exercise for growing a BRAIN???
 

I actually made love to both Pumpy and the female on separate occasions. Shockingly, Pumpy was a gentle, giving, supportive lover while the female was agressive, selfish, and downright rude. It was all "me, me, me" in that lovemaking session.

Contrary to what it may seem from this photo, Pumpy is a a caring soul and the female is anything but.
 

Look at the thousand yard stare on this braindead monosyllabic tard. He looks like he bought his shorts before his last half a dozen cycles. That zipper looks a little stressed.
 

this dude is huge. im suprised he hasnt crushed her. maybe after he pulls out she knows to run away before he falls asleep on her.
 

You know he is going to pound some anus tonight. Only it probably will not be her's.
 

Complex-much...
 

The "Ross" Dress for Less belt / khaki shorts compliments pumpy's skin tone. Not to be out done by the matching abercrombie khaki cap..the shorts seem to be busting at the zipper...a true sign that someone's been frequenting douchekosh b'gosh?
 

this guy is an asshole not a douchebag I can't define the difference but I feel it when I see him
 

I like how his sister is to scared to say something...she just laughs it off. but inside...inside...

DISTURBIO GO!
 

I'd call this guy a douche right in front of him, but I'd have to have my car running, my foot ready to lift off the brake, and have it in drive.
 

HA I am in utter tears...this is my ex-boyfriend! You would all die at the before "Hulkamania" pics! And yes, the girl in the pic with him use to be a "substitute teacher" in a state that only requires a 2 year degree in anything? I've met her several times, but all she crys about is how unhappy she is with her boobjob? As for me, I'm quite happy with mine and after breaking things off with him, I've achieved a degree in mathematics. Oh yeah, and he still calls and we talk at least once a week...she's none the wiser!!! Would love to share more with you, especially the pics...xo
 

holy rusted metal Batman!! i'd love to pit this guy with "old no. 7", and watch them douche it out. while i swoop in and rescue this Tara Reid similar, and carry her back down to my parents basement bedroom where we watch the Sci-Fi channel
 

Looks like he would rather be grabbing a bar-bell that that chick.

Douche ON!
 

The thing that strikes me about this guy is that his face doesn't look like it knows what his hand is doing. It's hard to tell with those douchey sunglasses, but that looks like the expression of a guy who's watching a documentary about the migration patterns of blue whales. I mean, on the rare occasions when I'm afforded the opportunity to grope a hot chick's breasts (which does happen occasionally, though probably not as often as the douchebags on this site), I probably look pretty happy about it. I'm sure I don't look this bored.
 

This is such a great website im so glad I found it...Ive always wondered what little friendless virgin haters did with their spare time, you know besides surf internet porn to see what a naked girl looks like or play video games. It must be tough seeing these people and feeling so inferior but now you have this site to voice your frustartions anonymously like the little girl you are!!! good luck with the site losers and remember its not your fault that your penis is so small that piss on your own balls its bc/ God just doesnt like you....
 

that guy could kick all your asses at the same time.. jealous losers XD
 

...is it just me or does she look like she could be his poor molested daughter?

seriously, how any human claiming to have a vagina could be attracted to a douche like that is a mystery.
 

O.K. kids, don't forget to ask Mom to buy you that new Pumpy action figure with removeable shirt
 

This is such a great website im so glad I found it...Ive always wondered what little friendless virgin haters did with their spare time, you know besides surf internet porn to see what a naked girl looks like or play video games. It must be tough seeing these people and feeling so inferior but now you have this site to voice your frustartions anonymously like the little girl you are!!! good luck with the site losers and remember its not your fault that your penis is so small that piss on your own balls its bc/ God just doesnt like you....
# posted by Anonymous : 3:09 PM

lawl
 

Roid abuse has tragic consequences. Spare a thought for pumpy's brain and even smaller penis. That slack expression on top of 'that' cultural 'faux pas' is evidence of a complete shutdown of higher function. You can stab this piece of meat in so many places.
 

I've just got to say that the "Pumpy" picture/entry may well be the extended, brought-to-tears laugh that hooked me on this site. ...Well, coupled with "Donkey Douche", certainly.

But, the Pumpy pic has been examined from every angle, so I won't bother at this late point.


Instead, I will give kudos to DB1 for conceiving of the monicker "Pumpy". It is an utter masterstroke.

...And made all the more funny to me because it sounds like a name that would be bestowed upon him by the Headcrusher Guy from Kids In The Hall.

"What's this? Why, hello, Pumpy! What are you doing today, besides devouring a small feedbag full of steroids?

Oh, molesting a tiny princess, I see! Well, I hope your big head can suck up inside your body, too, beeeecause... I'm crushing your head!

...Now, unhand that fair maiden and go try to pump up that pancake you once called a cranium, Mr. Pumpy McFlathead!"

Ahhh... that's the stuff.
 

And may I also say that, in reading these comments, I have found a new favorite sentence for today!

What, you ask?

"THIS IS THE ACTUAL PUMPY."




...Fucking hell, I love that! :D
 

he's bald underneath that hat. the price of the roids i suppose
 

Bless you Pumpy. Meet you in that great gym in the sky.
 

R.I.P. Pumpy. Your sense of humor (as related by DB1) says more about you than your pictures here ever could. 24 is just too damn young.
 

The great monolith hath warped this one to the other side. Keep an eye out for the starchild, or should I say, the stardouche, RIP Pumpy
 

R.I.P. Pumpy
 

Amusing to know that his douche balls have probably retreated way up into his rectum......damn those douche roids
 

This asshole pulls to the pud to his own image in the mirror...I'll bet straight cash money, young.
 

I didn't know they made action figures that big?
 

Die. Just die.
This picture makes me cry and want to kick babies.
 

Incredible. Average middle class white guy head on bodybuilder body. That head does not belong on that body. That is why this picture reeks of STEROIDS
 

RIP Pumpy, I hope you fkn people with no lives other than hating on men that are more attractive than you find something better to do someday.....besides playing WarCraft
 

Keeping myself small, especially my hands, makes all tits I touch feel so much bigger!
I don't envy him!
 

DAMN THIS DUDE FUCKIN HUGE AS HELL
 

Damn - those hands. He could palm a planet. He could also strangle his tiny wee-wee while masturbating.

Oh well, he'll be tripping over his man-boobs if he ever makes it to AARP age.
 

Muscles like that make me think of one thing:

steroid induced testicle shrinkage!
 

i can lift anything..
 

I feel bad for the guy, he's never gonna reach third base. His hands are too big to finger a girl. I feel bad for the girl too, cuz one hump from him = 10 broken bones which means she can last 20 humps before she's anoter scrotum of bones for him to carry.
 

PUMPY GET WHAT PUMPY WANT!
 

I can't believe the nerve of that goon fondling golfer Phil Mickelson's wife like that!
 

He is the missing link! Darwinists are rejoicing, finally they can prove evolution!
 

His name is "Buck Plankchest"
 

Is it douchy to say that I really really wish I was Pumpy?
 

Ok, There isn't a guy out there that doesn't wish he was that friggin big. What moron would even begin to mess with you being that size.
 

the gal's crazy!
 

This man has no penis.
 

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, HULK SMASH!
 

@ Darin

Hilarious! Good to see KITH is still a strong comedic presence in the world.
 

What I've learned from this picture -
it's not hard to have a matching wardrobe ensemble when it merely consists of pants and a size small hat.
-bigfurhat
 

Do you think she hangs with him because she secretly wants to have sex with her father? I mean really, that's the size differential there.
 

*starts playing that opera song from the end of step brothers*

I feel sorry for this bastard. Yes he did drugs and yes he did roids and yes maybe he was dumb as hell but it seems like he was a cool dude.

And lets face it he could probably take most of you fags in a fight at the same time and he could take me with 5 months worth of BJJ training....scarey stuff.

Was he really 6,7?
 

in honour of his memory tonight I shall attach carrots to my fingers and grasp hot blonde boobies

RIP Pumpy
 

Well ya, he is a bit of a douch and probably gets his nails done. But that girl is so bad bad bad that it I still thank I would like to be him right now. of cores it's a Holiday and I'm alone writing you fags, so that does not say much! GOD SHE IS BAD!!!!!!!!!
 

Hey kids! We can all get along when we sing the Pumpy song!

Pumpy Pumpy Pumpy!
I made him out of clay
Pumpy Pumpy Pumpy!
Does squats and curls all day
Pumpy Pumpy Pumpy!
He's in the gym a lot
Pumpy Pumpy Pumpy!
You'll never nail that Hott

Easy now gentle Pumpy, you've had a big day. You actually touched a girl who didn't call the police! So its time to rest your enormous head on your tiny pillow and drift off to dreamland, where Joe Weider is Mayor and all the food is chock-full of protein powder. Dream now Pumpy, dream your little dreamy dreams . .
 

What appear to be neck muscles are actually a pair of weak shoulders - he is merely enveloped in a cunningly made wax suit.
 

wait till she finds "little willy" -- ease off the roids "dude"
 

peanut head
 

DUUUHHHHH I'M Touch boobies DUUUUUUUUUHHHHHH Pumpy like!?!?!
 

Hot Chicks with Douche Bags has opened my eyes to a whole new world... I just cannot believe that Pumpy has died!!!