Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Velveeta Bag
A reader posed a query in yesterday's comments thread wondering if there ever comes a point when in the presence of such a fine perfect backside that auto-douchebaggery commences.
The answer is yes.
We all have what I like to term "The 'Bag Within." The only question is to what extent will we indulge this inner 'bag in the hopes of acquiring a female with great tracks of land, finely buffed sandstones and an ocean view. Or did I just describe a summer condo in Cape Cod.
Regardless, the question then becomes this: When in the presence of such fineness, is momentary auto-'baggitude justifiable under the circumstances?
I posit this question without answering it, as I think it's is an important discourse to consider as we move forward.
None of this, however, has anything to do with this pic. Velveeta Bag is just funny. Not ha ha funny. Just funny funny.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 8:19 AM 
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This chick looks like a mail order bride.
If that's the case, I'll give this velvet bag some props.
You see, most of us look a catalogues for things like furniture.
This douche looks at catalogues for someone to clean the furniture.
God bless you velvet bag and god bless the Phillipines.
If that's the case, I'll give this velvet bag some props.
You see, most of us look a catalogues for things like furniture.
This douche looks at catalogues for someone to clean the furniture.
God bless you velvet bag and god bless the Phillipines.
Anyone remember that skit that Christopher Walken did on his guest appearances on SNL? He was "The Continental", and he offered "champ-ag-nay" while wearing a velvet smoking jacket, a ciggie in a LONG effeminate holder, and ridiculously pomped hair. This is his reincarnation...successfully pulled off by the love child of Val Kilmer in his Top Gun days, and Morrissey.
On a side note, she may very well be mail order....or a sweatshop worker hoping to procure her green card with help from Le Douche Magnifique!
On a side note, she may very well be mail order....or a sweatshop worker hoping to procure her green card with help from Le Douche Magnifique!
Definitely mail order. Velveeta looks like some soon-to-be totally washed-up B-list actor. Nice forehead Douche!
- ScroteBob DouchePants
- ScroteBob DouchePants
# posted by 
: 8:58 AM
: 8:58 AM
This guy is the biggest douche bag I have ever encountered. Any guy that is skinnier than a 105 pound chick should probably lay off the cocaine!
# posted by : 9:20 AM
: 9:20 AM
Just so I have this right, if presented with such hotness , would I run to the bathroom, open a pipe and rub the resultant goo into my hair, pop my collar and tie my car keys around my neck before I go back and give hand signals, head touches and muffin grabs.
Wood Eye?
Hairlip!
Wood Eye?
Hairlip!
Brian Bosworth looks about as bad here as he ever did.
She could easily emit enough radiating heat to evenly melt this douchebag over some macaroni.
She could easily emit enough radiating heat to evenly melt this douchebag over some macaroni.
Yikes. No one ever said pimping was easy. But a velvet jacket? Know when to say when.
I also have to say that this bag is intriguing, a type of "everybag", who resembles a number of different persons as mentioned -- Setzer, the Boz. (I cannot bring myself to admit that he may be the love child of Kilmer/Morrissey, even though that also appears to be a fair assessment.) May I humbly suggest Ed Harris (if he had a ridiculous pompadour/mullett)?
I also have to say that this bag is intriguing, a type of "everybag", who resembles a number of different persons as mentioned -- Setzer, the Boz. (I cannot bring myself to admit that he may be the love child of Kilmer/Morrissey, even though that also appears to be a fair assessment.) May I humbly suggest Ed Harris (if he had a ridiculous pompadour/mullett)?
It's as if Baywatch is a disease now. "Oh, that poor lounge singer. He's got the Baywatch."
# posted by : 3:31 PM
: 3:31 PM
To answer the all important question here, as to why these women choose these douchebags, is this; these women are the female equivalence to these men. Sorry to say it but it's true...this is female douchery....aka tries too hard.
Now you may feel at rest.
Now you may feel at rest.
# posted by : 5:23 PM
: 5:23 PM
omg. i just now realized it's not only a pompadour..but alas if you observe closely this ambitious young scrote is rocking the douche mullet!
celeb-wise, he looks like a poor man's doogie howser. velveeta shells will never taste the same
: (
celeb-wise, he looks like a poor man's doogie howser. velveeta shells will never taste the same
: (
# posted by : 11:16 PM
: 11:16 PM
i'm shocked that i've forgotten velvet as a quintessential catalyst for HCwD tragedies all this time.
Wait! He's holding a glass piece! For some reason that feels like a douche windfall for this fellow, granting him perhaps a faint hint of normalcy - a flaw in the fabric of his 'baggery.
# posted by : 11:19 PM
: 11:19 PM
Just check out his myspace page - pure gold:
http://www.myspace.com/deandiggler54
http://www.myspace.com/deandiggler54
# posted by : 1:32 PM
: 1:32 PM
This guy is an uber-choat-douche. Notice the carefully groomed eyebrows. And the popped collar? It complete with a plastic collar straightener.
# posted by : 3:23 PM
: 3:23 PM
Holy crap! Just checked his MySpace (thanks for that...*retch*!) He has made himself out to be a MILLION more times skeezier and douchier by what he wrote, never mind how he LOOKS! That is the definition of a shit stain.
That jacket is Gucci you fucking retards. And i love it when ugly poor people speak it's so funny how clueless they are.
# posted by : 2:09 PM
: 2:09 PM
I don't care if that jacket is Gucci is lined with gold leaf and magically makes $100 bills appear in the pocket, it's fucking retarded just like the douche-tard wearing it and the other anon poster above trying to defend it
# posted by : 12:36 PM
: 12:36 PM
Sound logic, Anon 2:09. Gucci = All things right with the world
Ladies & gents, I believe we have a bag in the house. Welcome.
Ladies & gents, I believe we have a bag in the house. Welcome.
# posted by : 2:14 PM
: 2:14 PM
email sent to sir assbag's myspace page:
youre a douche on mammoth proportions.
youre in the hall a fame of bitch ass douches, welcome.....fuck
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2007/03/velveeta-bag.html
if i ever saw you on the street id pound your ass then let 25 mexicans run a train on you prison style.
youre a douche on mammoth proportions.
youre in the hall a fame of bitch ass douches, welcome.....fuck
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2007/03/velveeta-bag.html
if i ever saw you on the street id pound your ass then let 25 mexicans run a train on you prison style.
the follow up to the email i sent this ass fag his reply :)
"That's something new you jelous ugly nerd. Real big coming from the dude that has his profile set to private because all he can do is hide behind some ugly ass discusting picture of himself picking a bugger. Your life is worthless you live in some hick town and have nothing better to do than surf myspace. You're a total nerd and no one likes you. Kill yourself and just get it over with.
You think some message from a loser like you even makes mad...
you really are the ugliest fucker i've ever seen."
"That's something new you jelous ugly nerd. Real big coming from the dude that has his profile set to private because all he can do is hide behind some ugly ass discusting picture of himself picking a bugger. Your life is worthless you live in some hick town and have nothing better to do than surf myspace. You're a total nerd and no one likes you. Kill yourself and just get it over with.
You think some message from a loser like you even makes mad...
you really are the ugliest fucker i've ever seen."
This guy is Douchetastic sporting that Porn Mullet. The girl in the picture with him has the "this is going up on hotchickswithdouchebags.com" smile, and can't wait to get the picture from her friend to post it.
Either that or she just can't stop laughing at his hair, popped collar, velvet lounge jacket, and general douchebaggery. I wouldn't stop laughing either.
Either that or she just can't stop laughing at his hair, popped collar, velvet lounge jacket, and general douchebaggery. I wouldn't stop laughing either.
# posted by : 1:37 AM
: 1:37 AM
this douche is hanging in his old house with no electricity but still managing to blow coke with a candle lit. gotta love em!!!
# posted by : 4:59 PM
: 4:59 PM
I've been seeing this loser around LA for many years! This is great!!
My friends and I always used to vomit alittle bit if we saw this douche in public, he still manages to ooze his way in and out of clubs in LA, he is the part of LA that needs to be exterminated, I'm so happy to have found him on here!
My friends and I always used to vomit alittle bit if we saw this douche in public, he still manages to ooze his way in and out of clubs in LA, he is the part of LA that needs to be exterminated, I'm so happy to have found him on here!
# posted by : 11:21 AM
: 11:21 AM
okay lets hit this douche hard so he has to change the number hes had since 9th grade, 310714DEAN, whatta douche to have his digis match his persona, dry, skilnny and get em a steak, cause hes fake.
# posted by : 3:29 PM
: 3:29 PM
Looks like Jethro Bodine is working on his credentials to become a double-nought Spy. Next, he'll ask her back to his international playboy trailer for vittles.
FIRST OFF IM NOT THE GUY IN THE PICTURE BUT I KNOW HIM AND HER AND I HAVE TO SAY. SHES BEAUTIFUL AND HES A GOOD GUY .WHAT A BUNCH OF FAGS ALL OF YOU ARE WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN MAKE YOURSELF FEEL SLIGHTY BETTER BY DOWNING SOMEONE YOU DONT EVEN KNOW. SHE HAPPENS TO BE BEAUTIFUL SO ANYONE THAT IS COMMENTING ON HER PROB WISHED THEY COULD GET A GIRL LIKE THAT AND HE WORKS FOR ONE ON THE MOST SUCCESSFUL MAGAZINES IN THE NATION IS PARTNERED UP WITH THE BIGEST PR GROUPS IN THE COUNTRY HOSTING EVENTS ALL OF YOU WISH YOU COULD BE AT. LOL WHAT A BUNCH A FAGS YOU ALL ARE ON THIS SITE. BITCHES TO SAY THE LEAST .IVE MET MANY OF YOU BEFORE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN MAKE YOURSELF TRY TO BE INVOLVED SOCIALLY BY MAKING PATHETIC COMMENTS . YOU PEOPLE KILL ME SUCH LOSERS.AHAHAH THANKS FOR A GOOD LAUGH
# posted by : 6:42 PM
: 6:42 PM
To the author of above comment:
Your right, I'm sorry, he is not a douchebag...he's cool. Just kidding. The only way I would cut your douche bag friend any slack is if this were a halloween party. But it's not, it's a douchebag party.
STAY OFF THIS SITE AND STOP DEFENDING THE DEFENSELESS asswipe.
Your right, I'm sorry, he is not a douchebag...he's cool. Just kidding. The only way I would cut your douche bag friend any slack is if this were a halloween party. But it's not, it's a douchebag party.
STAY OFF THIS SITE AND STOP DEFENDING THE DEFENSELESS asswipe.
# posted by : 8:33 AM
: 8:33 AM
Baron Douche von Baggenberger at his quaint 17th century hill-top castle in the Black Forest. Apparently trying to seduce the child begat from the illicit coupling of Imelda Marcos and a local German shepherd boy.
# posted by : 12:37 AM
: 12:37 AM
I know this douche Dean May he is not a nice person he is cocky and arrogant even though he is a short little shrimp that spikes his hair so he can look taller (maybe reach 5'5" then). He used to live on La Cienega blvd in West Hollywood in a filthy messy house with 5 cokehead druggie roommates don't let anyone try to convince you how successful he is just another Hollywood wannabe the real successful guys have huge mansions in the Hills not frat boy crack house on a busy loud street...
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# posted by : 9:11 AM
: 9:11 AM << Home
