Thursday, April 12, 2007

 

The Lobster


Urge to kill rising...

There's a certain plateau of douchitude a scrote reaches in which nothing touches him. And by nothing touching him, I mean that literally.

Then again, this perky carrot is touching him. Which makes me want to touch a light socket.

Why, perky carrot, why? The man has literally undone his shirt in public to show the camera his lobster abs. And you smile? What happened to you, perky carrot? Were you dropped on your head as an infant? How has lobster's douchey charms worked on you?

Then again, the gold hoop dress suggests a covert Bleeth infection. Which would explain that pile of sea cockroach to her left.

Comments:
Now this is what we've been waiting for! A smirky faced scrote Captain, who is SO insecure about his manliness that he has to tear open his abs to prove what a stud he is. Who's he trying to impress? The other douchebags who are invariably milling around in the background? And she just stands there smiling........poor girl. I guess the hair bleach and Axe Bodyshot clouds affected her brain, which skewed her Douche Detectors, and has infected her to a Level 2 Bleethed-aholic. It's so sad! *sniff sniff*
 
He's the Jonathan Knight of the crustacean world.
 
Frankly, I wish her little black dress was a little bigger. And he needs a .357 Bodyshot.
 
I wonder how far along these Hot Chicks are in their evolution before they start showing us their tits? I hope we don't have to wait long.

Nice to see his artificial testosterone induced hair loss in full progress.

What I hate about these guys is the fact that these photos are intended to spotlight the guy and the chic is usually included as an accessory. Fuckin Jersey Douchebags.
 
Seriously what a dick. Uhg.

This reminds me of this guy wearing a mandana under a baseball cap i saw at the gym today. He also couldnt shut his loud douchey mouth talking about how he made $2000 a week as a bartender. Douche.

I had to vent
 
This right here is the shit that keeps me awake at night.

It ain't the chain or the open shirt or even the ambiguous hand gesture (is he pointing at the female as if to say "see what I got" or is he pointing at his own torso as if to say, well again, "see what I got"? I guess it isn't so ambiguous after all).

It's his face. It's missing something. . .

oh yes, my fist. repeatedly.
I'd like to beat him like Ed Norton beat Jared Leto in Fight Club. Schmuck.
 
I'm not sure this big girl/pretty face is actually "with" him because this dude is definitely a fluffer for the gay porn industry. Look, he is gargling semen!

I am waiting for them to snowball.
 
Somewhere in Jersey....
V: Yo Mikey, check this chick out.
M: Yo Vinny she looks just like your sister.
V: Yo Mikey I know. Take a picture of us togeter.
M: Yo Vinny move closer and give her a little head butt, thats it, and YO unbutton your shirt. You look like a douchebag wit it all buttoned up.
 
Notice the hands on the hips, the glow sweet mama is prego.

Douchecovney said it right I'd like to punch this guy into next week.
 
This guy should be in the FAQ for all those people who come to the site and ask "what qualifies as a douchebag?" You've got the overly-worked body, the hand gesture, the odd facial contortion, the unearthly hair style, the seeming disinterest in his hot female companion, and a general smarminess and insouciance that begs for an innocent bystander to kick him in the shin, knee him in the balls, and punch him in the throat, in that order.
 
Spray-on abs -- the hallmark of a true douchetard.

The pouty smirk, the chain, the 'bag point....I just want to run over this guy with a zamboni.
 
gross.
she's glowing because it's "hawt up in da club" and she's had her fill of yagerbombs. and he's the posterboy for all that is douche. he's the reason this site exists and flourishes. the worst part of this picture? the fact he's pointing at his own abs, as if to say "aside from what ran down my mom's leg, this is the best part of me".
nice smirk, noodledick.
 
I don't want to grate things with those abs. I want to grate those abs until doucheboy is a bloody mess.
 
This guy made my day and by made my day I mean made me laugh at his skank ass until tears streamed down my cheeks.

As a hot chick, I have to say, these boys are a hoot when you go out...specifically if you go out with all your girlfriends. This is the guy that would come over with a tray of shots, unbuttoned shirt and say something like "The word of the day is legs. Now let's go back to your place and spread the word. heh heh" And yes, I've had that line used on me by none other than a DOUCHE.
 
I'd like to hand scrub my dog's turd towel on this douchebag's washboard.
 
I think this is fitness expert John Basedow's little brother.
 
Not only has he unbuttoned his shirt to show off his washboard abs and fully waxed chest, he is pointing at them just in case the shirt unbutton alone doesn't garner him enough attention. And god damn the douchey, smoochy lips facial expression, I still can't replicate it no matter how hard I try, never the less pull it off on the spot for a posed picture.
 
These guys remind me of the knuckleheads I see in the gym. All chest/arms/abs...no legs. "Dude...what should I work out today? Legs? Nah." And I haven't seen a forehead this big since, well...ever.
 
Well I have to say this entire page is not worthy of being on this site except this guy!

will be an interesting HCWDB of the week with Hair Magnon, Douchsplosion, Mandana and the Ab Roller Lobster......
 
I agree with Crankyprof. These abs look airbrushed.

-BAGwan Singh
 
Holy f what a loser.

Buddy, why not just take off the shirt? What is the point of wearing one if you only use one button? Oh I suppose you would look like a douchebag in that case. Right because you don't look like one now.
 
Sure, he could be saying "Check dee abs, yo."

But in his defense, he could also be saying "See? Now for the last time, I am not K.D. Lang!"
 
urge to kill rising indeed.

more specifically, urge to ram foot perpendicularly into wall of douhce rising (like how cops kick down doors on police raids - it actually isn't very hard if you practice a few times). wait i've already said that haven't i? damn.

hottie looks a bit fat though.
 
oh, ferffucks sake. she is NOT fat. maybe she has questionable taste in clothing, and she is clearly with a specimen of scrtotitude heretofore unknown. other than that, totally cute.

you guys' standards are WAY too high. i'd like to see the stomachs on some of the hcwd regulars and compare and contrast.

I'd also like to accupuncture this douche, and i am not in any way trained. i hit a nerve...sue me.
 
her shirt/dress/whatever is somewhat transparent. call me crazy if i don't see a nipple just to the right of the glare from the camera flash on her right boobie.
 
is this guy fucking serious?...what an absolute cock sucking gay idiot.
 
if I heard some guy use that line on a hot chick: "the word of the day is legs now let's go back to my place and spread them" I'd probably high five him! YEAH YEAHHHH!
 
What's written on his medal, ''i'm Joaquin Phoenix younger brother'' ?
 
This site is Hilarious! LOL I knew this would happen someday. A site where men bag on men. Definitely more entertaining than reading women bag on each other. This is refreshing! All women with self esteem issues should read these comments, to know they aren't alone. Men have the Same issues LOL.
But come on, this guy IS good looking, with a nice tight body. he just needs a Real woman to wipe that smirk off his face. I'd sit on it. That would do the trick! Reason that girl appears giddy is she knows no fat on abs means fat is concentrated somewhere else RRRRRrrrrrrrrr. And guys who are you kidding? Just like "Female douchebags" who you think are hotties, that you'd bag in a second but wouldnt be seen with them in daylight..We women lower our standards sometimes too if we come across a douchebag with either a Fat wallet, Showing Major Mooseknuckle, and/or can lick is eyebrows. Like you tell us girls..'Don't hate' Haha
 
Go ahead and sit on it. With the weight you're packing, you'll flatten those abs out in no time.
 
Congratulations you Going-Bald Cloojer...you just made me spray ice tea out my nose. Speaking of noses, this malnourished baby-douche is the only person I know that could run at a wall with a boner and hit his nose first! I loathe you and your borrowed suit you worthless excuse for an imbred. Go separate that obvious mono-brow some more and eat your vegetables for a change as opposed to the daily serving of turkey-neck and meatballs you've been consuming. Ten thousand sperm and you were the fastest swimmer? I would pay millions just to be sure you never reproduced!
 
I don't hate on these Dbags, I just point and laugh. Because they're like girls but with a dick. Spend all day in front of the mirror. Since these guys look and act so tough, why are they not fighting wars oh I forgot, it would mess up their hair. No longer do we hunt for mullets, it's douchebag hunting season.
 
Disturbio GO! Writes...

The guy isnt showing his abs to the camera.

The camera man said

"hey arent you the guy that got Jon Stamos's autograph earlier?"

And Vinnie (we will call him vinnie) Showed were he had him sign his stomach, but despite his chagrin, he had sweated most of it off.

dont worry vinnie, you know it happened, besides worrying causes hair loss...

DISTURBIOGO!
 
Hopefull she is just trying not to laugh at this ridiculously over-plucked joke.

Although they are a nice set of ab's....damn.
 
That dude is definately a homosexual in hiding, better known as a "closet-queer". The only people he could possibly turn on with his melted butter look and outrageously absurd egotistical posturing are other gay men. But he doesn't want straight men to know so he grabs the cheesiest of females with his gay cheesy chap-loving aesthetic tastes, and sports her like a sign hoping heterosexuals will read it as saying "See? I do so like women!" But he is truly hoping that all the gay men will see him in the pic and recognize his love for receiving anal sex and giving bj's and try to hunt him down for a gay old time.
 
What a dicknose...
 
this clown looks like he`s seen more pricks than a second hand dart board....tool
 
This is where the food goes !!!!
 
I know this kid hes from Cape Cod MA him is his half a fag friend try and promote clubs first the Cape then Providence RI now LA he keeps getting ran out of every city he lives in i think this kid is the biggest pussy going hes 5'5 110 lbs soaking wet he even made a clothing line like any queer would do m2 clothing and promotion hahaha
 
Fear not. The Ab Lobster is no match for Rob Lowe's sister.
 
I absolutely despise these shitbags.We all know of assholes like this
 
Holy fucking shit.....did this asshat draw on his fucking eyebrows with eyeblack? Dude, that's supposed to go UNDER your eyes when you're acting like a frat boy jock wannabe! He probably popped his buttons when he borrowed his 10-year-old brother's shirt but then said, "Aw, fuck it, dude! Da biotches will check out my phat abs and be all like Ooooh and shit! and dey gon' git wit' me!"
 
Holy fucking shit.....did this asshat draw on his fucking eyebrows with eyeblack? Dude, that's supposed to go UNDER your eyes when you're acting like a frat boy jock wannabe! He probably popped his buttons when he borrowed his 10-year-old brother's shirt but then said, "Aw, fuck it, dude! Da biotches will check out my phat abs and be all like Ooooh and shit! and dey gon' git wit' me!"
 
No, I didn't like my last comment so much that I had to post it twice. Sorry if that came across as douchebaggery. Our fake Italian friend above would've just left it and said "My shit's worth another look," but I'll apologize for y screwup.
 
I had no idea that Adrien Brody had downs syndrome.
 
Post a Comment



<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?