Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Ab Lobster Blondie's Hotness Confirmed
During our recent deconstruction of the hottie/douchey wrongness of HCwDB of the Week winner Ab Lobster, a tertiary debate broke out in regards to the confirmability of the hotness of the Lobster's blond hottie. After exploring a number of analytical discourses, some theorized she was not "all that" while a forceful counter-argument emerged that she was indeed, "all that." However the lack of firm evidence left a sense of intellectual stalemate and the conclusiveness of either perspective gradually faded, locked in stasis.
But your humble narrator brings good news.
New evidence has now arrived which should fundamentally alter the ambiguous deconstruction of the uberhotuousness of said Blond Hottie, pictured here. And by evidence I mean, uhm, well, the pic. Which you already knew. Since you're looking at it.
Consider the argument settled. The Lobster's Hottie is indeed a salty baked potato to his crustacean insect abs.
As to the Lobs? We reached conclusion on that 'bag awhile ago. It's what they call in the science world a "douche-proof."
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 6:38 PM 
Comments:
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She is yum-my indeed. Always thought she was. I'm disappointed in the Lobster's half hearted attempt at the ab point. I guess it's because he's not showing them. He's got the smirk down though.
# posted by 
: 7:34 PM
: 7:34 PM
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOT...
Aw crap out of Kleenex... ooh old sweat sock SCORE!
BUB
Aw crap out of Kleenex... ooh old sweat sock SCORE!
BUB
# posted by : 7:43 PM
: 7:43 PM
Meh, the hottie is definitely cute--I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers--but I've seen much hotter on this site.
And I'm happy to see that the Lobster changed out of his white pants for this photo op.
23 Skidouche
And I'm happy to see that the Lobster changed out of his white pants for this photo op.
23 Skidouche
# posted by : 7:44 PM
: 7:44 PM
You know, I was so upset by the silly people denying Her Gorgeousness's hotness that I actually zoomed in on the other picture, increased the contrast, and found the outline of the shirt (This research demonstrated that she had a nice, flat tummy). In the process, I also came to the conclusion that she was also wearing a strapless corset-bra. Hot!
Thank you, DB1, for settling the debate. Man is she ever tasty!
(And, this son of a bitch just can't seem to stop being a douchebag! It seems that, like her beauty, it's innate.)
Thank you, DB1, for settling the debate. Man is she ever tasty!
(And, this son of a bitch just can't seem to stop being a douchebag! It seems that, like her beauty, it's innate.)
# posted by : 7:49 PM
: 7:49 PM
She's really hot. But, the fact that she's dangling off of that sludge factory does detract a bit of the hotness.
# posted by : 8:31 PM
: 8:31 PM
Greetings from Middle-earth.
Methinks 'bag in question like a a tanned, guidoesque Adrien Brody scrote.
Methinks 'bag in question like a a tanned, guidoesque Adrien Brody scrote.
I DEMAND A RECOUNT.
I think with this new evidence there should be a recount, and a chance to renege one's original vote.
Some new shit has come to light here, man. And i officially change my vote from Fish Slap, to the rightful winner: Ab Lobster.
He. Pointed. To. His. Abs.
All in favor say I.
I think with this new evidence there should be a recount, and a chance to renege one's original vote.
Some new shit has come to light here, man. And i officially change my vote from Fish Slap, to the rightful winner: Ab Lobster.
He. Pointed. To. His. Abs.
All in favor say I.
She is undeniably a cutie......she looks too pure to have overly depraved thoughts about, though. The poor girl needs someone to take her to dinner!! She disappears when she turns sideways! And you're TOTALLY sure this is the same girl? I really don't think she is....but whatever. I'm not going to lose sleep over it. I need my sleep. THE BEAST MUST REST.
hmmm, jailergrrl may be right. I dont know much about girl's hair, but i know when i parted my hair as a douchey little kid the part always stayed on the same side... this new girl's hair parts on the opposite side as the o.g. girl's... and her hair line is more receding.
yes look her face she's the same on the last pic who looked fatter with her black dress, for him same finger expression...
# posted by : 11:17 PM
: 11:17 PM
This guy look for us ''classy'' hope so people like a cartoon but all envy his company;-)
# posted by : 11:25 PM
: 11:25 PM
This guy look for us ''classy'' hope so people like a cartoon but all envy his company;-)
# posted by : 11:25 PM
: 11:25 PM
Hopes that this girl was just posing in a picture for a bag because she had a good heart or that the guy is in real life normal and just bagged up for a costume party are dashed.
He is a a massive douchebag, and she is smoking hot. And apparently they are dating.
I cannot take the cruelty. It is too much.
He is a a massive douchebag, and she is smoking hot. And apparently they are dating.
I cannot take the cruelty. It is too much.
# posted by : 4:53 AM
: 4:53 AM
This is the same girl, no doubt about it for me. And she is cute/hot/bangin'/whatever. The Fish Slap backers should be ashamed of themselves (well, not really - he's still a giant douche)
This 'bag just can't resist pointing to his abs. Is it possible that his arm is stuck that way, like his mom said "Don't make 'bag gestures with your hands, or they'll be stuck like that forever." His face is definitely stuck in perma-douche smirk.
Oh Ab Lobster, why the long face? Is it because you didn't take the HCwDBotM crown? Oh, I just realized that you're face is actually just long. Never mind. Probably not the best choice of hairstyle for a long face, but who am I to judge with my head shaped like a football
This 'bag just can't resist pointing to his abs. Is it possible that his arm is stuck that way, like his mom said "Don't make 'bag gestures with your hands, or they'll be stuck like that forever." His face is definitely stuck in perma-douche smirk.
Oh Ab Lobster, why the long face? Is it because you didn't take the HCwDBotM crown? Oh, I just realized that you're face is actually just long. Never mind. Probably not the best choice of hairstyle for a long face, but who am I to judge with my head shaped like a football
I was always questioning the slayers who thought she wasn't hot. I mean, come the fuck on, how high are your standards?
And Jailer, you are so wrong: It's the pure ones that you must have the most depraved thoughts for. It is in this way that you slowly corrupt them and mold them into new shapes of your own choosing. I derive great pleasure from this.
And Jailer, you are so wrong: It's the pure ones that you must have the most depraved thoughts for. It is in this way that you slowly corrupt them and mold them into new shapes of your own choosing. I derive great pleasure from this.
eh, this girl is cute, not hot. hot is purg hottie, the 'less cowbell' girl, or more honestly, the girls in 'the unknown 'bag' photo. those girls are HOT. cute is nothing to be ashamed of however. cute works and works well. but hot? no. once again, cute. get it straight folks.
on another note, does anyone else believe that the ab lobster looks a little more like k.d. lang with each photo we see of him?
on another note, does anyone else believe that the ab lobster looks a little more like k.d. lang with each photo we see of him?
The girl is cute but i have to say I was wrong. Fish Slap is a run of the mill douche. This guy is a legend. He is the type of douche who you will remember. Ab Lobster is such a memorable douche I find myself using him, as well as Donkey, Pumpy and Purple Lips, when I tell people about this website.
Can we reverse the voting. This choad is clearly stronger than the Fish Slap Vanilla Ice Looking Mother Fucker.
SkanderDouche.
Can we reverse the voting. This choad is clearly stronger than the Fish Slap Vanilla Ice Looking Mother Fucker.
SkanderDouche.
# posted by : 7:04 AM
: 7:04 AM
Upon further inspection. She still isnt hot. She is definitely doable and I love skinny chicks. Face wise meh
SkanderDouche
SkanderDouche
# posted by : 7:06 AM
: 7:06 AM
I don't know, maybe her younger sister? Looks a LOT like her, but even with weird camera angle stuff, this girl looks skinnier in the face.
Doesn't matter either way, she's got that pure-hearted wholesome goodness cute going on that makes my *ahem* 'heart' ... 'melt'...
Doesn't matter either way, she's got that pure-hearted wholesome goodness cute going on that makes my *ahem* 'heart' ... 'melt'...
# posted by : 7:08 AM
: 7:08 AM
I'm concerned for Ab Lobster with each picture his point-to-his-abs gets weaker and weaker. His hair has less gel, his smirk is half-hearted and where did the white pants go??? Is it possible that he has out-douched himself?
She is hot, Fish Slap still more of a douche.
She is hot, Fish Slap still more of a douche.
I love that he simply cannot resist the urge to lift his shirt and expose the abs... See how his belt is slightly showing? What appears to be a 'Bag Hand Gesture is actually only the beginning of a full-on shirt lift, so that he can rub cutie against his naked (and probably freshly oiled) abdominus lobsteroidus. In fact, it probably happened mere seconds after this first pic was taken. Ruminate on that image for awhile... then weep gently into your pillow.
The Big Ledoucheski
The Big Ledoucheski
# posted by : 7:20 AM
: 7:20 AM
In my book, she's hot enough, and by hot enough I mean premature ejaculation. No recount necessary however. Slap is still hands down the bigger douche.
-Beelzebag
-Beelzebag
# posted by : 7:30 AM
: 7:30 AM
I can't believe the people still questioning her hottness. For all of them: please go look in a mirror! What, you're not going to stutter around this cutie? Well, I guess you just put the hot chicks that have Ph.D. in make up on a pedestal. Is it any wonder that you're not getting them.
The lobster has clawed his way to the top of douchedom. Just looking at that crustaceous smirk on his face makes me want to hit him with fists tied in rubberbands.
Oh how I wish he was the one wearing that red shirt. it would be oh so appropriate.
el douchablo, I'm with you like a lobster to a trap. This HC could get it anyday. She. Could. Get. It.
Oh how I wish he was the one wearing that red shirt. it would be oh so appropriate.
el douchablo, I'm with you like a lobster to a trap. This HC could get it anyday. She. Could. Get. It.
I'm with jailergrrl: This is the kind of girl you marry. NOT the kind who hangs out with the likes of Lobster.
Based solely on appearances, that is. Which this site seems to be....
Based solely on appearances, that is. Which this site seems to be....
# posted by : 8:20 AM
: 8:20 AM
now, now el douchablo...
i'm not questioning her hotness because she isn't hot. she's CUTE. which is still a very nice compliment. but i suppose when you put personal preference into the mix, then maybe she appears 'hot' to you. that's fine. i'm just telling you that if we were to take a vote, in the end, she'd come out CUTE instead HOT.
here's an example of CUTE: http://flickr.com/photos/caballero/248825450/
here is an example of HOT: http://flickr.com/photos/14994687@N00/419046093/
i hope that clears things up.
and i don't place women that wear an abundance of make-up on a pedestal. too much make-up is a bad thing. ok. enough of that. i need to do something billable.
i'm not questioning her hotness because she isn't hot. she's CUTE. which is still a very nice compliment. but i suppose when you put personal preference into the mix, then maybe she appears 'hot' to you. that's fine. i'm just telling you that if we were to take a vote, in the end, she'd come out CUTE instead HOT.
here's an example of CUTE: http://flickr.com/photos/caballero/248825450/
here is an example of HOT: http://flickr.com/photos/14994687@N00/419046093/
i hope that clears things up.
and i don't place women that wear an abundance of make-up on a pedestal. too much make-up is a bad thing. ok. enough of that. i need to do something billable.
so the only hot girls are professional models now? she's all made up, shot by a photographer, and clad in a bathing suit and likely photoshopped. give the first girl the same treatment, and i bet you would consider her hot. use your imagination, kid!
Here is what I will concede, as a leading proponent of this girl's hotness. She is not "come hither smoldering hot", she is "beautiful coy hot". Because "cute" doesn't arch it's back like that.
And, in 18.76 years, Ab Lobster will have molted into a swarthier version of Mullet Choad.
--Vinny Scumbaglia
And, in 18.76 years, Ab Lobster will have molted into a swarthier version of Mullet Choad.
--Vinny Scumbaglia
# posted by : 8:54 AM
: 8:54 AM
ok mitch. point taken.
let's try this on for size then. this is what i mean by hot: http://bp1.blogger.com/_TVfEjAyW4Fk/RbV879zPeAI/AAAAAAAABPM/1Z5lSCCBi0Y/s1600-h/CANDICE1.jpg
of course, it's another bikini picture, but look at her face.
let's try this on for size then. this is what i mean by hot: http://bp1.blogger.com/_TVfEjAyW4Fk/RbV879zPeAI/AAAAAAAABPM/1Z5lSCCBi0Y/s1600-h/CANDICE1.jpg
of course, it's another bikini picture, but look at her face.
The only way that this is the same girl is if she lost about 15-20 pounds and got a makeover, which is what I believe to be the case here. It's the same girl who went through a small transformation. From cute to stage one hotness, perhaps? I don't know.
I suspect that the Lob will keep on fighting until he gets into the HoS. It's just his nature.
I suspect that the Lob will keep on fighting until he gets into the HoS. It's just his nature.
# posted by : 9:35 AM
: 9:35 AM
I think your judgement of the chick is askew because any girl standing next to this guy naturally goes down a few notches. Look at her by herself.
Yep. She's hot and I'm not partial to blondes. I don't think this is the same girl but who cares.
I'm off to do something billable as well. Somehow we need to get paid to trash the douchebags around here.
Yep. She's hot and I'm not partial to blondes. I don't think this is the same girl but who cares.
I'm off to do something billable as well. Somehow we need to get paid to trash the douchebags around here.
pfah: oooooof, yeh that *is* hot.
The Ab Lobster has the makings of a superdouche, he's just not pulling all the elements together: he needs the ab point *plus* the uberhottie to nail the division title.
--Vinny Scumbaglia
The Ab Lobster has the makings of a superdouche, he's just not pulling all the elements together: he needs the ab point *plus* the uberhottie to nail the division title.
--Vinny Scumbaglia
# posted by : 10:38 AM
: 10:38 AM
Ab Lobster does look beaten down by life. Look at those bags under his eyes. I do feel sorry for a man who has nerve ganglia instead of a brain.
SkanderDouche
SkanderDouche
# posted by : 2:35 PM
: 2:35 PM
this is the first Lobster catch that i will concede is seriously hot. easily a serious contender for my vote in a hottie of the month vote-off or something.
as such, i will just punch at the walls harder.
as such, i will just punch at the walls harder.
DB1, what does it take to induct a 'bag into the HoS around here? If one picture of Rooster Wank qualifies (mostly because of the presence of the HBT) then Ab Lobster's body of work is seriously being under-appreciated. He goes into the HoS, along with Fish Slap...it's not too difficult a decision.
Hot, but not top of the list of women we have seen here before. Very cute and marriable. But this is definately not the same girl as the other picture. She was easily 30 pounds overweight or pregnent.
-BAGwan Singh
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-BAGwan Singh
# posted by : 10:35 AM
: 10:35 AM << Home
