You've all fucking done it now. Thankfully I voted for the Lob though, so I will be spared from his pincer-like abs.
 

OH MY! Hands down HoS! It appears that the Lobster is in one of those anti-g planes. Is it possible that AL knows Stephen Hawking? Holy Shit, holy shit. Wow.

-Beelzebag
 

Fortunately I also voted for the lobster so I should be spared as well, though I'm not really sure that I want to be spared. Again with the fucking point though it's to to chestular region rather than the abular region. And he is RIPPING THE SHIRT OPEN to show off his chest. Jesus this guy angers me. Floating head in the bottom right doesn't really look like he belongs there. Maybe he's a technician for the anti-g plane. Or maybe he's the janitor that cleans up the puke. Either way I hope he punches the Lobster right in the junk.
 

But here comes Minnow Slap to his Sensei's defense, wielding the spray bottle of Axe. He sprays Lobster's abs and wipes the lame makeup off, leave Ab Lobster sobbing and pointing to his stains that used to be his abs.

Indiana Douche and the Last Douchebag
 

Oooh, this is more exciting than Lucha Libre! I'm still on the side of AL. Is he going to reclaim his championship?
 

What I wanna know is, what the hell is he trying to do to the hottie here. Becuase if she started sucking on his fingers, in zero-gravity, while he bares his little chest...it might just be too much for the Meat Man to take.
 

Having voted for Fish Slap, I now find myself in the clutches of Ab Lobster's relentless claws and I regret nothing. Bravo to Ab Lobster and Fish Slap, two of the doucheist douches that ever douched.
 

I can't stop giggling.

It's like Bert left Sesame Street and took up being a narcissistic scrote. I like him better as a closeted-gay straight man to Ernie's corny jokes. Go back to the Street, A.L. We miss you there.

(I don't think he shaves or depilates his chest...I think, like all Muppets, he has no body hair.)
 

"That's right, Fish Slap-- I'm Comin' for YOU! I've even changed my F**kin PANTS to the jeans with jizz stains!"

"What could that be at the end of that menacing chain, Bob? Looks like a douchetag!"

"I tell ya, Sid, the crowd has never seen such a divisive match before, and the atmosphere is electric...."

--Vinny Scumbaglia
 

he is more of a pectoralis major mollusk or a scallop here. definately DE MER.
 

It's a dog tags battle cling! k-cling! cling! cling!
 

Now you're just trying to rub it in, DB1. This guy had my vote the first time I saw him, the people's choice picked Fish Slap, and now look...

Can it get any worse? He is pulling his shirt open to expose the bling! And can I tell you who he looks exactly like? Can I tell you??? Jonathan Knight from New Kids on the Block! That should have automatically won him last months' award. Somebody is going to pay for this! (probably some innocent hottie)

Check it... 2nd from right next to Donnie "Marky Mark's Brother" Wahlberg no less
http://www.80smusiclyrics.com/images/nkotb.jpg

-D
 

What the hell is going on here?

Is he a real person?


I think I would like a program or at least a blurb called Behind The Douche, explaining what went into the making of such a choad. Can we look into that?

SkanderDouche
 

seriously, what in the hell is going on in this photograph?!?

i know it's not right to hate someone you don't even know, but if i saw this douche on the street, i'd throw a brick at him.
 

I shouldn't be suprised, but I am. I can't believe he is fucking pointing at himself again. This 'bag might deserve HoS consideration. I don't regret my vote for Fish though, he is still the superior douche.
 

Pointing. At. His. Abs. No wait. Pecs.

I love this fuckin' guy.
 

Wait, who the fuck is that in the bottom right? I am so confused.
 

well danny, i'm just guessing here, but i'd say the guy in the bottom-right portion of the picture is none other than, what they call in the industry, a "fluffer".
 

This is a bittersweet image. Can you still go to the Hall of Scrote if you don't win HCwDB of the month? I'll pour one out for you, Lobster.
 

Hey, bvd, not all of us were born with body hair you know. I have exactly two chest hairs, whom I have named Hoyt & Gumbo...and the world's patchiest beard. You're only a true 'bag if you shave it. Otherwise you're just a no-testosterone-having dipshit, like me.
 

Why is this guy always making me look at abs or pecs?? If this is all he's got, I'm not interested. Do you hear me Ab/Pec Lobster?

I. Don't. Care. About. Your. Body. Parts.

Are you sure this isn't the wax figure of Ab Lobster? Anyone been to Madame Tussauds lately to confirm or deny this?
 

1. I hate to be a stickler, but I believe that part of a lobster is called the "thorax."

2. The guy in the lower right appears to be none other than Darryl Bell, star of TV's "A Different World" all grown up.
http://www.carseywerner.net/images/difworld_cast_max.jpg
(far left)
 

MM, I apologize for any confusion. I was not questioning A.L.'s masculinity, I was questioning his very humanity.

My regards to Hoyt & Gumbo.
 

"Bob, things are really starting to get outta control here in the Scrote-Dome, as it looks like Ab Lobster's sidekick Doucho Villa just stepped into the ring..."

"Sid, that's no ordinary sidekick, i mean this guy's fat, he is a midget, he's bald, he is wielding a mustache, and from here it appears his collar isn't even remotely popped... he's everything Ab Lobster's not."

"Bob, i gotta tip my hat more than 10 degrees to this choad. Touché Douché... Lobster's really covering all the bases here--its as if he's saying, 'Ladies... the choice here is clear.' The ref's just gonna have to call this one before it gets ugly."
 

Arg! It's that goddamn padded wall place again! Will someone PLEASE tell me where/what that place really is? 'Cause I've been meaning to take arson up as a hobby.

Question: is it possible that pointing at himself is this guy's job or something? It is just that I am beginning to doubt that a human, or even a crustacean, can be SO affected that they point to themselves EVERY time they know a camera is near.

He reminds me of the old "What has two thumbs and likes blowjobs?" joke.
What has Spiky hair, rosary dog tags, and is a huge douchebag?
This guy riiiight heeeeere.
 

Can we PLEASE find out where this Doucheatorium is that keeps producing pictures of these fucknuts? We find it, hide a hidden camera in the mens' room to see these Uber Choads primping for thsie evenings, and BINGO!! There's your documentary on "Making of a Douchebag: Uncensored", Skander.
Of course, the wrap party will consist of gathering all the scrotes we've had the displeasure of meeting under one roof, and throwing a fire bomb through the door.
"The oil slick will burn for days....OOOOOOOOOOOhhh!! Pretty colors!"
 

Vader,
The place is called Scrote Asylum, and it lies in the Meatpacking District of Manhattan. Only the douchiest of the douche, bleethiest of the bleeth, the Ab/Pec Lobster, Fish Slap, and Donkey Douche, may have the privelege to get, as I heard the Dung Beetle works the door, and he's a bitch to get by. Somehow if you slip by Dung Beetle, the Twin Bags, and Pumpy will toss you out and steal your chick.

- Grundle McChoad and the Douchesquad
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

Did you superimpose Ab onto a prisoner photo from Guantanamo? Because that bald bastard in the corner isn't amused that this douchebag is dancing in his solitary cell.
 

If this doesn't constitute HoS, I don't know what does. I'm envisioning a montage photoshop job with all three ab lobster poses somehow swirling around in a psychadelic mist. I haven't done the drugs in a while but after seeing the lobsters trifecta, I'm reminded of the sudden terror that grips you when things go acid bad.
 

Fuck HoS, I want Ab Lobster to win a lifetime achievement award.

Fresh off his narrow defeat at the hands of Fish Slap, The Lobster shows his resiliency as he gets back on that horse, hoping for another HCwDB of the Week award so he can be in the running for next month's competition. Fearless and undaunted, the Lobster will not be denied in his quest for Lobster supremacy.

Notice how we haven't seen Pumpy since the UFC throwdown between Pumpy and Lobster last month. Lobster clawed his way to victory and will keep showing up until his Douche greatness is validated by you voters.
 

What the hell? How come no one has made their avatars Fish Slap or the Ab Lobster?

come on! Some one nut up and do it!
 

I hate to quibble, but
a) Does everyone who sees padded walls and ceilings immediately think that the lobster is in a zero gravity plane... I am leaning towards either the reprogramming room of the alien cult that created Ab lobster or quite possibly, the insane asylum his friends put him in to control his need to expose himself from the waist up in such a rage inducing fashion.
b) I am pretty sure that the Scrote Asylum is not across the Hudson in Manhattan. Sure they might scurry across the river for the meatpacking District of Manhattan when the sun goes down, like a family of Mexicans crossing the Rio Grande, but we all know the Asylum in somewhere in the 'Garden State'... Just track Axe shipments to find it.

By the way, hats off to every one of you who voted in the HCwDBotM. Couldn't pick a winner there...At a certain point, I just feel that all 4 are winners (and by winners, I mean...). It is your dedication to dig deeper that has made this site so entertaining

Undouchided...
 

Mistress, if the Sabres lose tonight, I may have no choice but to find a new avatar, so I will fulfill your fantasy. And I will also change my avatar to Ab Lobster for one day.
 

Am I the only one that thinks AL is actually losing steam? He's gone from his iconic ab-pointing posture to fondling really unsavory chicks, to now half-heartedly pointing at a less-than-impressive chest with a similarly underwhelming smirk, while the hottie and Beldar the Conehead almost actively ignore him.

While I did not vote for the AL, I think he had tremendous potential and I am a little saddened at this career arc. I foresee a shot of him in the corner, reflexively and vaguely motioning to some body part, with no discernible effect, as random club-goers pass him.

"Alas, poor AL! We knew him, Fish Slap. A fellow of infinite douchiness, of most excellent self-promotion. He hath borne us on his abs a thousand times, and now, how abhorred in our imagination he is! Our minds reel at it. Here hung that smirk that we have mocked. Where be your bling now? Your hair gel? Your Axe? Your flashes of finger-pointing that were wont to set the voters on a roar. Not one now, to notice your own torso?"
 

this pic has such a low concentration of hottie that... well... y'know.

but that guy at the lower right corner sure looks funny though.
 

where does this douche live? Someone needs to kick him in the balls
 

Anyone else notice a resemblance to a certain cartoon crimefighter?

Go Go Gadget Abs!