Wednesday, May 16, 2007
HCwDB -- THE BOOK
I have fantastic news to announce on the site, fellow 'bags, 'bag hunters and cuties. Yours truly, DB1, has been contracted by Simon & Schuster to write a book version of HCwDB for publication next year.
So where do you come in?
I will be printing dozens of the scrotiest and most awe inspiring and spew inducing examples of the broad and complex spectrum of the hottie/douchey kingdom. I'm talking Fratbags, Rockerbags, Choadbags, Greaserbags, everyone from the club dancing ab rollers to the hairy indie toads. But I need your help.
Here's the deal.
If you are the photographer of any of the featured pics here on the site, email me a hi-res (300dpi) copy of the pic in question, and I will forward you a release for the pic. Return it to me and not only will you get a photo credit in the book, but you'll have contributed greatly to help bring awareness to the masses of innocent hotties being Bleethed as we speak of the unholy douchitude that lurks within us all.
So if you took a classic HCwDB pic and want to submit it for consideration for the book, email me a hi-res copy at: douchebag1@hotchickswithdouchebags.com
Do your part and contribute to producing a real world talisman, a permanent testament and ode to the various subdivisions, categories and broad spectrum that is the modern Douchebag evolutionary plague. As well as help produce a text that will warn the gorgeous balls of hot who fall into their oily orbit on a daily basis that there is hope out there; there is treatment for exposure to the Grieco Virus.
If you know someone who took one of the pics we've featured on the site, email them and ask them to contribute that pic. If not for you, if not for me, do it for posterity. Do it so that future generations can contemplate the dark marching army of douchebaggery that has chewed through and spat out our cultural landscape like so many greased up, bling wearing, Tag Bodyshot spraying termites.
Do it for all of us. Do it for a better tomorrow. But most importantly, do it because making fun of 'bags is really, really fun. Don't think of it as a civic duty. Think of it as a moral imperative.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 12:52 PM 
Comments:
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congrats DB1. let me know where your booksigning is and i'll be there. again, congratulations and let the insanity begin! douche on!
Wow!! Congrats on that! DOn't forget all your "friends" when you get all famous and shit. And for the LOVE of God.....don't be an uber-douche when you get your pics taken with the HC's that will be flocking to your scrotie goodness. ;)
Pfah, I too would like to be at the book signing. I wonder, will there be a book tour? Anyway, I think the BS is going to get real thick around here, and I for one, am REALLY excited to read it.
Congrats DB1!!!!
-Beelzebag
Congrats DB1!!!!
-Beelzebag
# posted by 
: 1:25 PM
: 1:25 PM
HCwDB, the Book? YES!!!! I hope it's out by Christmas...good work DB1. May the proceeds buy you a lifetime supply of Night Train.
Hopefully you get rich, and then have a threesome, because then you can say "You know what I did when I had a million dollars? Two chicks at the same time." I always wished somebody really did say that.
Hopefully you get rich, and then have a threesome, because then you can say "You know what I did when I had a million dollars? Two chicks at the same time." I always wished somebody really did say that.
# posted by : 1:27 PM
: 1:27 PM
Awesome DB1!
And you simply MUST get a release from The Donk. And HBT. And maybe Ambiguous Persian Hottie will reconsider now that her and Club Douche could be in a book! Do you think she knows what a "book" is?
Indiana Douche and the Last Douchebag
And you simply MUST get a release from The Donk. And HBT. And maybe Ambiguous Persian Hottie will reconsider now that her and Club Douche could be in a book! Do you think she knows what a "book" is?
Indiana Douche and the Last Douchebag
# posted by : 1:31 PM
: 1:31 PM
That is great news. Congrats, DB1! But don't stop there. There's a market need for HCwDB energy drink, TV program, feature movie, HC make up, etc. The possibilities are endless.
One more post for this momentus occasion. Can you believe that Anon 10:26 p.m. posted this on April 30, 2006 :
Dude, get a life, a hobby, go look at porn, something, i don't know...
What a waste of cyberspace......
Lets see how many junk sites we can clog the net up with.......
If Anon 10:26 p.m. only knew it would all end up hitting the Gutenberg.
That is all.
-Beelzebag
Dude, get a life, a hobby, go look at porn, something, i don't know...
What a waste of cyberspace......
Lets see how many junk sites we can clog the net up with.......
If Anon 10:26 p.m. only knew it would all end up hitting the Gutenberg.
That is all.
-Beelzebag
# posted by : 1:43 PM
: 1:43 PM
DB1, I hereby request that you hold your book signing in none other than Atlantic City so all your fellow 'bag hunters can go out, ubiquitous red cups of 'train in hand, and make fun of jersey scrote as a team-building exercise.
Please put Ab Lobster on the cover. Instead of pointing at his abs, he can point at the title of the book or something. If you don't put him on the cover, put Purg Hottie on to cover the "Hot Chicks" part of the title, and put Kevin McScrote on to fulfill the rest of the title. It would serve him right for his skeezer bitch to complain enough to have his picture removed from the site. (Apparently she's never heard of Google cache...)
Speaking of McScrote, one question. How will you deal with all the people who'll see themselves in print and not want their pictures posted? It's easy enough to take them off a website, but what happens once they're in print? I know a lawyer if you need one.
Speaking of McScrote, one question. How will you deal with all the people who'll see themselves in print and not want their pictures posted? It's easy enough to take them off a website, but what happens once they're in print? I know a lawyer if you need one.
I couldn't be happier at this news. Maybe you can track down Yellowtail or White Chocolate and have them write the forward. One word of advice though: Make sure the pic you choose for the cover is more HC than DB. You'd sell a lot more copies with a average bag and a smoking hottie like "Spider 'bag", than you would the other way around. I think "Purple Lips" would look awesome somewhere on the back cover too.
Douchebags & Hot Chicks
A Documentary by Ken Burns
Eight one-hour episodes shown on consecutive nights.
Narrated by David McCullough
This Fall on PBS, the America's Cultural Network
***********
Congratulations! Well deserved.
I can make Atlantic City for the release party. Hanging out and getting drunk on fortified wine at the Barnes & Noble. Good times, good times.
A Documentary by Ken Burns
Eight one-hour episodes shown on consecutive nights.
Narrated by David McCullough
This Fall on PBS, the America's Cultural Network
***********
Congratulations! Well deserved.
I can make Atlantic City for the release party. Hanging out and getting drunk on fortified wine at the Barnes & Noble. Good times, good times.
One more suggestion: make an honest attempt at getting Richard Grieco to write the forward. If he did, that would be, well, perfect.
And if not, just have whomever sign the forward with his name.
And if not, just have whomever sign the forward with his name.
# posted by : 2:06 PM
: 2:06 PM
Atlantic City my arse! I thought we were all supposed to converge in Las Vegas at the Hard Rock Hotel Pool!??
Nice work DB1. Maybe you can upgrade from fortified wine to some nice Bordeaux.
Nice work DB1. Maybe you can upgrade from fortified wine to some nice Bordeaux.
Good work, sir. I have good news also: my book on tuna fish is due out shortly.
I sincerely hope the book is a smash and that it doesn't suffer the same fate as the Jerky Boys.
You're a genious and you deserve the success.
I sincerely hope the book is a smash and that it doesn't suffer the same fate as the Jerky Boys.
You're a genious and you deserve the success.
Congrats DB1! All your hard work in bringing attention to the Grieco virus epidemic is paying off. I can't wait for the book to come out. I would vote for Fish Slap or Kevin McScrote for the cover.
# posted by : 2:19 PM
: 2:19 PM
NO WAY !
I was telling my ladyfriend about one particularly awesome comment* the other day and after the guffaws and chortling subsided, I got a far away look in my eye and said "you know, the db1 should make a book out of the site"
I shit you not. Very happy for you man.
* comment was Baron von Goolo Seuss inspired poem from Fridays Rhyme Royale.
I was telling my ladyfriend about one particularly awesome comment* the other day and after the guffaws and chortling subsided, I got a far away look in my eye and said "you know, the db1 should make a book out of the site"
I shit you not. Very happy for you man.
* comment was Baron von Goolo Seuss inspired poem from Fridays Rhyme Royale.
# posted by : 2:29 PM
: 2:29 PM
HCWDB would make a great calendar, too. Congrats, DB1. I'll try to find the site where I discovered the unholy Dung Beetle.
# posted by : 2:30 PM
: 2:30 PM
Hey DB1, how about DB action figures? Give Todd McFarlane a call. That dude will make anyone or anything into an action figure. I can't wait to have a complete HoS collection!
Definatly Hard Rock Vegas. Mecca to all that is HCwDB.
Congrats and Good Luck!
Definatly Hard Rock Vegas. Mecca to all that is HCwDB.
Congrats and Good Luck!
# posted by : 2:47 PM
: 2:47 PM
Dude,
this is the beginning of your empire.
First the book, then a movie (of course starring Grieco and Bleethe) to be aired on the Lifetime channel.
And then, a childrens pop-up-book!
This could be the next "Girls Gone Wild".
this is the beginning of your empire.
First the book, then a movie (of course starring Grieco and Bleethe) to be aired on the Lifetime channel.
And then, a childrens pop-up-book!
This could be the next "Girls Gone Wild".
we need Donkey on the cover for sure.
maybe his lips could write the forward?
the alpha douche
maybe his lips could write the forward?
the alpha douche
# posted by : 3:33 PM
: 3:33 PM
I wholeheartedly second the nomination of The Donk for the cover of the book. Ab Lobster and Fish Slap are both johnny-come-latelies next to the one, the only, the monolithic ur-douche, Donkey.
--23 Skidouche
--23 Skidouche
# posted by : 3:46 PM
: 3:46 PM
Do you have the release party in the land of source douche or do you have it at "Douche Mecca" in the desert?
Either one works, though the East coast is far more convenient. However, in Vegas, we would have the option of easily moving away from intense douche concentrations. No such luxury in A.C. We'd have to travel as far as Scranton or Dover to escape.
I'm not sure what it means to "Atlantic City" something, but I am conspicuously teachable.
Either one works, though the East coast is far more convenient. However, in Vegas, we would have the option of easily moving away from intense douche concentrations. No such luxury in A.C. We'd have to travel as far as Scranton or Dover to escape.
I'm not sure what it means to "Atlantic City" something, but I am conspicuously teachable.
I second i bling on the calendar idea. You could come out with a whole line of Douchebag'cessories.
I sense something wonderful just over the horizon.......
Born 2B 'bag
I sense something wonderful just over the horizon.......
Born 2B 'bag
# posted by : 4:32 PM
: 4:32 PM
I third the idea of a calendar. This could go global! Like if the internet expanded outside the US or something
what a grand day in the HCwdB community. Now the world will finally hear our voices and we shall all rise as one human race against the plague of douchebaggery
This is momentous. A validation not only of your deication and vision, but of the rightesousness of us all. You, sir, are my hero.
Congratulations db1, a job well done!
Since I will be at the Borgata this weekend for a bachelor party, I will be thinking of you when we hit the club there. It will actually add a new spin to my visit.
Since I will be at the Borgata this weekend for a bachelor party, I will be thinking of you when we hit the club there. It will actually add a new spin to my visit.
DB1, you may just go down as the Jonas Salk of Douche. With enough publicity, this book could wipe out the Grieco Virus... i pray to the douche gods that you get on Stern, or Leno, or even Douchemorning America.
VIVA LA DOUCHE!!!
VIVA LA DOUCHE!!!!!
VIVA LA DOUCHE!!!
VIVA LA DOUCHE!!!!!
Release Party will be at the Hard Rock in Vegas. You are all invited. Likely late Summer or early Fall of 2008.
I hope everyone dresses appropriatly. I myself have a tiger striped shirt, black leather pants and a giant diamond encrusted RVW to sport around the Hard Rock.
# posted by : 8:07 PM
: 8:07 PM
I've got a pink Izod with the collar starched into the locked and upright position. I'll try to track down some matching wristbands and start growing out my fauxhawk, too. By next year, it should be a monstrous tower of follicular doucheosity.
--23 Skidouche
--23 Skidouche
# posted by : 8:27 PM
: 8:27 PM
Okay....who wants to help me start writing my alibi NOW???? Par-TAY! WOOHOO! Like, super cool!
JAILERGRRL aka Beast Woman
JAILERGRRL aka Beast Woman
this reminds me that i've never contributed photos to HCwD. i'm ashamed of myself.
best of luck to your literary adventures, DB1.
best of luck to your literary adventures, DB1.
Hard Rock? Vegas? 2008? me and my hot wife will be there with bells on. i'm not even kidding. we're wearing clothing made of bells.
again, congrats DB1!
again, congrats DB1!
Three cheers for DB1...Douche, Douche, Hooray!!!
Congrats, DB1, I am in for Vegas '08, I'm going to start my roids cycle now so that I am ready.
If the book does well you can buy a belt buckle that will put even Glinty's to shame.
Congrats, DB1, I am in for Vegas '08, I'm going to start my roids cycle now so that I am ready.
If the book does well you can buy a belt buckle that will put even Glinty's to shame.
Awesome DB1, congrats!
Next thing you know, I'll be fighting off the uber-hot future ex-Mrs. Amerigo Veadouchey's with a stick...
Well, one can dream.
Very nicely done, DB1, I'm celebrating with a twelver of PBR and a box of Ho-Hos tonight. Can't wait for the book.
Amerigo Vesdouchey
Next thing you know, I'll be fighting off the uber-hot future ex-Mrs. Amerigo Veadouchey's with a stick...
Well, one can dream.
Very nicely done, DB1, I'm celebrating with a twelver of PBR and a box of Ho-Hos tonight. Can't wait for the book.
Amerigo Vesdouchey
# posted by : 7:57 AM
: 7:57 AM
Kudos, DB1!
This is definitely the next stage of many in the growth of the franchise that is HCwDB.
I see international expansion on the horizon - just think of all the euro-douches, scrotasians, aussiebags, and latinochoads primed for 'bag hunting.
Think big, DB1...the world is your douchebag.
This is definitely the next stage of many in the growth of the franchise that is HCwDB.
I see international expansion on the horizon - just think of all the euro-douches, scrotasians, aussiebags, and latinochoads primed for 'bag hunting.
Think big, DB1...the world is your douchebag.
# posted by : 11:56 AM
: 11:56 AM
Maybe we could get The Donk as a guest speaker at the book launch. Can he speak? Or does he just grunt?
Indiana Douche and the Last Douchebag
Indiana Douche and the Last Douchebag
# posted by : 12:49 PM
: 12:49 PM
DB1, there is a tear in my eye. YOu have no idea the joy you bring to my otherwise brain-sapping work day.
You are one of the smarter, smart-ass bloggers out there and for that I am eternally grateful. No one else could make an Edgar Allen Poe poem work next to a picture of a douche.
Congrats. Still having nightmares about Lobster bag.
You are one of the smarter, smart-ass bloggers out there and for that I am eternally grateful. No one else could make an Edgar Allen Poe poem work next to a picture of a douche.
Congrats. Still having nightmares about Lobster bag.
# posted by : 3:37 PM
: 3:37 PM
db 1,
mazel tov! i envision a montage cover with the top dozen dbs on the front and back. puffy and ab lobster front and center of course.
mazel tov! i envision a montage cover with the top dozen dbs on the front and back. puffy and ab lobster front and center of course.
# posted by : 12:36 PM
: 12:36 PM
Shit, I'd like my douche submission to make the book even if it's me in the photo.
adamoda14.blogspot.com
adamoda14.blogspot.com
Deebs -
Douche has franchised and gone global, and so shall we.
Marcello Mastroiani said it best when he said, "Corrette, O la douchestia li mangera."
Douche has franchised and gone global, and so shall we.
Marcello Mastroiani said it best when he said, "Corrette, O la douchestia li mangera."
# posted by : 3:40 PM
: 3:40 PM
What about the most newsworthy douchebag of late? That guy - Andrew Speaker - with XDR TB has a hottie and a half for a wife. Check out the pic here.
http://www.physorg.com/news100012231.html
His failure to regard the health of hundreds of people as more important than his own puts him into the grand pantheon of douchetards...the fact that his wife is hot merits his recognition on this site.
http://www.physorg.com/news100012231.html
His failure to regard the health of hundreds of people as more important than his own puts him into the grand pantheon of douchetards...the fact that his wife is hot merits his recognition on this site.
# posted by : 10:36 AM
: 10:36 AM
this girl's been in the news and shes definitely dating a douchbag
http://www.bastardly.com/archives/2007/05/30/is-allison-stokke-dating-a-douchebag/
http://www.bastardly.com/archives/2007/05/30/is-allison-stokke-dating-a-douchebag/
# posted by : 11:40 PM
: 11:40 PM
I don't know if you'll ever see this, Mr. DB1, but CONGRATULATIONS ON MAKING IT IN THE JULY 2007 ISSUE OF PLAYBOY!!! That is all.
# posted by : 8:21 AM
: 8:21 AM
DB1, this news made me very happy when I read it, and still makes me happy today. I like books. Congratulations!
Also, I suggest that you find a Joey Porsche picture to put on the cover.
Also, I suggest that you find a Joey Porsche picture to put on the cover.
# posted by : 8:09 PM
: 8:09 PM
DB1, if I might make a suggestion... you really should do a book launch party at any one of a dozen douchey clubs in my hometown of South Beach, FL.
Methinks the irony of being surrounded by wall-to-wall HCwDBs will give your publication's launch a surreal edge that would not be lost on the national press.
Methinks the irony of being surrounded by wall-to-wall HCwDBs will give your publication's launch a surreal edge that would not be lost on the national press.
# posted by : 5:30 PM
: 5:30 PM
MAZEL TOV DB1! I wish I had more of a chance to read & comment, but the rest of the gang seems to do a great job. Who knew?
i am requesting 'the bouncing shmoo' make an appearance in the book....it is a tru (without the e) inspiration to me....thank god for playboy or i never would have founf this site
All you need to do is look at Fever night club/website...that should keep you busy for hours!
http://feveratl.com/index2.htm
LMAO!
http://feveratl.com/index2.htm
LMAO!
# posted by : 5:26 AM
: 5:26 AM
Here are 2 new douches for you.... www.myspace.com/zlear & www.myspace.com/fitnesslife you're welcome!
# posted by : 7:31 PM
: 7:31 PM
Check it out. This exlpains in detail and even provides an analogy for the truly distrubing behavior these hotties exert.
http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=6937&TrackingID=523934&BannerID=566942&menuid=6>1=10287
-Lev
http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=6937&TrackingID=523934&BannerID=566942&menuid=6>1=10287
-Lev
# posted by : 10:09 AM
: 10:09 AM
Come on, guys...only one can grace the cover: the one known as Peaches.
Congrats, DB1! I hope you take this on the road, so's I can meet ya.
Congrats, DB1! I hope you take this on the road, so's I can meet ya.
# posted by : 7:45 AM
: 7:45 AM
The cover photo must be the Douche-meister, greasy-faker, all time favorite Gator douchebag :D
# posted by : 9:13 PM
: 9:13 PM
It should be Glinty...and you all know it. The glint of his godawful belt should project the title of the book in a ray of light.
-HanksADouche-
-HanksADouche-
# posted by : 10:12 AM
: 10:12 AM
The amount of doucheness that will be contained in this book will be glorious. Thank you DB1, we are grateful.
# posted by : 1:53 PM
: 1:53 PM
Awesome news!! You are performing a public service that has no equal and now we will have a carry-on version.
# posted by : 6:52 AM
: 6:52 AM
DBeezy1...1st congrats! 2nd I am a twice published author of poetry books. You can find me in Barnes & Noble my pen name is Nicholas Angelo, here is my myspace link:
myspace.com/snootzel
I would be honored to attend your bash in LV...I also would like a small chance at writing something douch-tacular to be added somewhere in the book?
GOOD LUCK BRO!!
myspace.com/snootzel
I would be honored to attend your bash in LV...I also would like a small chance at writing something douch-tacular to be added somewhere in the book?
GOOD LUCK BRO!!
# posted by : 1:40 PM
: 1:40 PM
Use the force douche! You can do it, and I vote for Pumpy on the cover. Or if you have to, The double mint douches, Steriodouches.
The world is a better place with DB1 on the move.
The world is a better place with DB1 on the move.
# posted by : 1:36 PM
: 1:36 PM
God you are all so pathetic and transparent. Get a life!
Maybe if you got off your computers for a while and worked on your social skills you could land a beautiful girlfriend like us--instead of just dreaming about it and documenting the exploits of guys who are living a lifestyle you envy.
There are a lot of attractive ladies in the world, and you could have one too. You're held back by your own attitude and self-imposed limitations. People feed off positive energy. Not depressed haters like you here.
Your book will stand as a trophy of the countless months you spent criticising people who were out socializing and having fun with friends in clubs and beaches while you're pathetic ass wanked to our photos.
The Douche Is You!
Maybe if you got off your computers for a while and worked on your social skills you could land a beautiful girlfriend like us--instead of just dreaming about it and documenting the exploits of guys who are living a lifestyle you envy.
There are a lot of attractive ladies in the world, and you could have one too. You're held back by your own attitude and self-imposed limitations. People feed off positive energy. Not depressed haters like you here.
Your book will stand as a trophy of the countless months you spent criticising people who were out socializing and having fun with friends in clubs and beaches while you're pathetic ass wanked to our photos.
The Douche Is You!
# posted by : 7:33 PM
: 7:33 PM
Wow, this douchebag who commented above me sounds like he's still feeling the X from last nights happyhour-to-afterhour(s) event designed for the highly social and successful snootydouche class.
Is he that upset you are making some money off of his hard earned leather tanned winstral filled abs?
Sounding like a more educated douche you would think he would be happy to see someone else than himself having success. O wait, that would go against his douchebag code of ethics!
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Is he that upset you are making some money off of his hard earned leather tanned winstral filled abs?
Sounding like a more educated douche you would think he would be happy to see someone else than himself having success. O wait, that would go against his douchebag code of ethics!
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