Thursday, May 31, 2007

 

HCwDB of the Week: Oompa Prompa



It wasn't even close. Prom Oompa Loompa just crushed the competition. And by crushed, I mean Orange.

There's a certain genius to the Prompa, and it's not just the zoot suit or the orange or the hair. It's that nervous moment we can all relate to. That glance around right before going to the prom when you're waiting in line and making sure your tie's on straight. The only difference is that unlike all of us at our prom who just felt like we looked ridiculous, Prompa actually does look absolutely ridiculous.

The range of emotions that Prompa inspired in the comments thread ran the gamut from hilarity to depression to heavy drinking. As the everpresent anonymous put it:

I stuck a couple of waffles in the toaster for breakfast but this thing in pink just made me lose my appetite. Time to call in sick to work and crack open the first OE of the day.

Nice Old English reference. I'm not the malt liquor drinker myself, but I respect anyone who mixes it with waffles. Born 2B Bag sums up the Prompa pain:

Grieco High, Newark New Jersey class of '07. This is why Al Qaeda hates us.

They hate us for our hair gels, B2BB. choadasaurus rex wonders aloud at the development that lies in the future for this 'Bagling and his sidekick:

WTF IS THAT?!?! This teen 'Bag is definitely pushing the douchebag envelope. If he continues on this path his future here is bright... it will be interesting to follow his progression from prepubescent uberbagosity into a full blown scrote commando. Orange face, pink tux, gray spiked hair... and this is his prom gear. Imagine what his club 'Bag attire would look like? I can't even imagine... he is definitely shooting for the stars of douchedum. Watchout world... this new up and comer promises endless 'Bag material.

The sky is the limit. He's like the proverbial "next Michael Jordan" of the douchebag diegesis.

I was sad to see 'Baggish and Syndrome find less support, as both are fully grown and highly accomplished scrotemeisters, well versed in the Art of 'Bag. Each brought along a fine hottie to balance the equation, especially Syndrome's (yum).

But the Orange Prompa was not to be denied. And there will be no cropping of this pic. Part of the genius is the long-shot. Finding the Prompa standing nervously in line.

It's poetic art. Someone call the Guggenheim. Prompa is 21st Century dada at its finest.

So raise Prompa's orange jersey to the rafters and book him a ticket to the Monthly. He's officially enscribed as HCwDB legend.

Comments:
Guy in the pink Jacket. I think this is the first time I have absolutely NOTHING to say.
 
Dude...this guy should be nominated for DB of the year. I'm going to go puke now. And in the spirit of malt liquors, I'm thinking a Mickey's 22 hornet sounds nice at 9:30am.
 
It isn't just the line. It's the RV. What the hell is its purpose? Is it the "limo"? We've seen a pickup truck camper shell serve this purpose. Are they tailgating the prom? Is it where the prom is hosted?

God, I wish we had an audio feed on photos like this.
 
I feel ya DB1... Syndrome and 'Baggish are D'Bag role models for sure. They exude supreme scrote confidence having mastered the fine art and should be revered by all 'Bags. I have to say though... I was so taken back by Oompa, I just couldn't focus on the other two choads. This young buck broke all the rules and needed to be called out for what he was... and that is the HCwDB of the week.

Scarred for life,
'Choadasaurous Rex
 
DB1 you should find the actual Oompa Prompa and give him a daily blog on this site. He is a Db legend.
 
This guy is the Lebron James of douchebags.
 
feh.
 
Told ya. The others are more than worthy, but when Prompa's in da house, he rules!!!
 
As hilarious as that picture is and as big of a homosexual douche guido that kid looks like, I think its photoshopped. Check out his hair and you can see some whitish spots that look like a bad editing job.
 
Is that Peter Petrelli about to go nuclear?
 
I can't believe the gheys at dlisted ripped you off, DB1. We should start a flame war, because they sound like a buncha 'tards. No offense to any 'tards.
 
nah it isent photoshoped the kid goes to my school. hes always orange. and always a douchebag
 
Carmine and Frankie....Yo!... go easy on Mommy's tan towelettes!
 
The DB has so much grease in his hair it looks fucking gray. Honestly, what the fuck were you thinking? DB of the year for sure.
 
i would love to see this DB's myspace..
 
please, oh please, someone find this kids myspace.
 
you guys rele needa get a lifee trashing a highschool kid why dont you show us a picture of urself at prom, nope waitt u didntt goo bett u were homee staring at ur computerr screen jerkin off nd eatin cheetos everyone on this site is pathetic
 
This post has been removed by the author.
 
Anon 10:55 -- my dictionary is weeping. Why do you hate it so?
 
His date looks so p!ssed!
 
yo i was on this bus u guyss cut me out lol xaverian alll dayyy
steve kelly
 
Your poetic sarcasm makes me so hot. I wish I could climb on top of your blogs and make love to them...

nice.
 
I've lived in NJ my whole life, and have never seen one single male coming out of a tanning salon.

However, if I was to pick where this photo was taken, I'd bet Staten Island. Staten Island is the home of douchebaggery. The fact that someone as cool as Wu Tang clan would come from there is a miracle of the ages.
 
no1 seems to be talking about the kid thats next to him in brown.... hes just as bad lolll
 
the faggg in the pink goes to xaverian in brooklyn and lives in staten island ive actually met him b and his gf has giant cans...i live in staten island and this kid gives a bad name to all staten islanders....and please believe me its not every day u see a a guido with orange skin juiced out with a bad fucked up gotti lookin tapeup walkin around
 
pink tux...thats all i have to say....i guess theres a first for everything right juicebag
 
^^^^^^ooo im sorry not evry1 can live in new jersey like you and wear hollister shirts up to our shoulders and have dirty curly hair down past our ears and listen to coldplay fag
 
I want to punch him in his face he looks so stupid. His girlfriend really does look p!ssed. He probably thinks he looks so good.
 
pretty much the definition of "staten island"
 
umm ok i knoe him... despite what you people think he's a sweetheart and you just shouldnt judge him by what he looks like so i suggest all of you to shut your faces because im sure all of you aren't perfect either. so leave him alone and remember that he is a person just like you and a nice person as well. god you people just amaze me what makes all of you less of a douche bags for saying any of this shit.. assholes
 
Those douches are from EDMONTON, ALBERTA
 
This one has gotten many comments, but the thing that really blows my mind is that nobody has mentioned that without the chodeworthy douchiness of "The Orange One" we would still have a competitor in his douched out friend standing behind him. Granted he is only brown, not orange, and he is gawkily tall, his girlfriend is still cute and he obviously did his hair with Oompa Prompa in a "Sleepover Gel Party".
 
What is great here is that the two normal looking guys have far hotter girls!
 
HAHAHAHA... who cares how nice he is. He still LOOKS like a douchebag...
 
whats up with the homo in the pink suit looking like guile from street fighter....
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/56/Streetfighter_guile_illust.png
 
the douche is too short to be from anywhere other than jerzee
 
Oompa Proma is the best I've seen... wow! Great find!!!
 
To all of Oopa Prompa's friends... We are the assholes? Who needs enemies when you have friends that let you walk around looking like some type of exotic monkey? Have you people ever heard of skin cancer... Time to have an intervention is all I'm saying..
 
Holy mother of G-d. Someone should tell them that the Soprano's is over and that trying to be like a Gotti has NEVER been the "cool" thing. Where the fuck are their parents? If my kid came home orange, I'd throw him a beating.
 
Oompa Loompa Doompity Douche!
 
THE ORANGE CUMGUZZLER IN THE PICTURE MIGHT BE THE BIGGEST POLESMOKER I'VE EVER SEEN!!! KEEP IT UP GUIDO
 
you know you go to xaverian where someone shows up orange to prom...priceless
 
Douchebag of the Millenium! You really can't make shit like this up, folks, this is real.
 
haha, What kids do today to get some dick after prom. Bunch of cockmunchers who think because they live in jerkzy they are everything and everyone else is spit to them. Just remember kids, YOUR WHITE!
Here is their myspace http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm...did=316 10199

I WIN
 
I'm near close to being speechless. How could you walk outside like that!?

Can't he see that he's ORANGE.
And what's up with his date? I would rather stay home and eat dirt.

Why did he do this to himself? There's so many "whys" I have.
Dude WTF!!
 
I think I just threw up a little bit. How in God's name do you not realize that you're f***ing ORANGE!!! The pink jacket also goes to confirm his douchity...pink jacket, wedge-head, and retardo tan from a bottle = douchebag royalty. And imagine how he's gonna look after he matures!
 
Here is the correct myspace address http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=31610199
 
http://www.myspace.com/joeyporsche
 
This has got to be the funniest shit i've ever seen in my life! He's a clown. All he needs is a red nose and a little ass car...Lmao!
 
Where's Willie Wonka when you need him?
 
Next on "When tanning beds attack!"...
 
Can anyone say
SCREEEEAMER
What a Mary
 
WTF! ..And he actually thinks he's hott?? lmfaooooo
 
This kid obviously never saw the Kramer falling asleep in the tanning bed episode of Sienfeld.
 
ahahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahhahahha...(break)...hahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahah...put him in showbiz
 
For all the futile empathetic comments like "I know this guy, he is acctaully really nice"......Im forced to address you directly; Join the peace corps and hand out vaccine to sick kids or, i dunno, protest the lack of humanitarian effort in Darfur. But please, please dont tell me that little radioactive clown does not deserve to have his face smushed into the side of the tour bus his parents rented for his junior prom while i sniff the garnier fructis shampoo right out of his dates curls.

And that, my little Defenders of the Douche, is the beauty of this site. Some rare yet fascinating mix of brain chemicals occurs when you experience the disgust of shallow, over-tanned douchebags combined with the sheer joy of shallow, over-tanned broads.
 
wow ppl back off the fckin kid, i know he looks weird but ive hung out with this kid a couple of times an hes not the asshole u all think.. hes actually a nice kid, an his gf isnt mad at him those 2 are like inseparateable.. so know your shit before you talk

by the way, that myspace url isnt him
 
what a turd burgler
 
you know the guy has to act a lot tougher than he really is to mask those strange feelings he gets during wrestling practice. but when he has a chance to dress up it is prom-queen all the way.

His girl took 2 hours to get ready. He took 2.5 hours. He is flashing a dirty look at the poor bastard who didn't know he was a gotti guido and joked "hey - look at the fag in pink with the spiked hair!!!"
 
Everyone needs to know that this look is restricted to NORTH Jersey. South Jersey is a different state as far as I'm concerned.
 
This is what Toxic NJ does to your skin....Now as far as the attire, that's his own fault
 
yeah laugh it up, but he went home crowned...prom-queen.

DISTURBIO GO
 
Why are there people defending this guy here trying to throw out how morally wrong we are for calling this guy out when they obviously are looking at this site laughing. It’s not like you googled his name and this site popped up, you obviously were here like everyone else to pass the time and laugh at people then got all butt hurt when you saw someone you knew. If it was my friend I’d laugh then show him the site and laugh more. You obviously have some kind of man crush on him so just buy him a years supply of hair gel and hope that he makes eye contact with you so you can write in your diary how ‘awesome’ your day was.
 
I've never bothered to post any comment to any blog before, but the sight of this dude just made me spit out a large bite of turkey sandwich. I have lettuce in my nose, mustard in my hair and onion all over my desk. Kudos, sir. Kudos.
 
"Mama mia, I think a pink jacket and an entire bottle each of self tanner and hair gel should be sufficient to make me look like a Growing Up Gotti faggot." Way to go, there, Don Cornholeone. What, were you trying to gain an inch on your girlfriend with that hair? This monumental douche must have been competing with the mouth breather in the back for the "Who's A Bigger Guido" award, and they both wonned da prize, which is being posted on a web site like this and made fun of by people like me. What a pair of shits-for-brains. On a side note, I'd rail both of the girls who aren't dating God's special people.
 
Don't be too hard on lil Wolverine there. He obviously just got about 500,000 volts trying to hook his RV up to that power line.
 
Seriously, what parent lets their kid go out in public looking like that? How do his parents look at him and say, "Oh, what a fine looking young man!" He's fucking orange! My guess is that his parents are just as dumb as he is. That's why he looks like he got raped by a tanning bed and has those bullet proof teflon spikes he calls "gelled hair."
 
an ooompa is only 1 of the 3 things he is mixed with,THIS FUCKER LOOKS LIKE A MIX OF ZELDA AND DRAGON BALL -HD
 
I dont think that it is styling gel , I think that is actually the hair trying to flee the scalp of this insipid scrote!
 
I think you guys have this all wrong. There's not a single hot chick with a douchebag in ......wait, there is only ONE hot chick with a douchebag I can identify in this pic, and that's the couple on the far right. The chick is hot (for high school), the guy just looks a little dumb and probably a little cruel. The guy behind them, his date's hot too, but he looks nice enough. Just a bad haircut. The other four and fucking trolls, including the women. I think this is just a representation of being poor and white and Italian. Kind of unfortunate to be picking on them.
 
I know this is an old post and adding more logs to this already fully fueled fire is, well, never futile. However, I do not know how I can go on after the comment by ItchyBrain.

Your "little radioactive clown" quip has left me sitting in a pile of piss and tears I don't think will be surpassed for quite some time.

While "Oompa Loompa Doompity Douche!" and "Don Cornholeone" area also keeping all urine out of my body, you still win.

Bravo, good sir. Bravo.
 
wow, some people actually get offended by people calling one another douchebags? we all have a little douche in us, but having it pour out of every seam is just unnecessary. yes, its trash talking, but these douches and their pictures, just try to hard. which reminds us what the underlying idea of 'baggery is. amen.
 
"Damn my tan looks good"
 
they're from jersey? no way! NOTHING cheesy and gaudy comes from jersey.
 
even if the 'tan' and 'hair' are photoshopped it still looks like hes wearing a pick jacket and white pants which makes him a A+ DB
 
I'm trying to imagine his date's parents' reaction when he came to pick her up. Most parents are like awkwardly stage their child and date in the typical "standing by the mantle" pose, but I can't imagine any parent would want to humiliate their daughter by taking photographic evidence that she dated such a fucktard. Also, I'd pretty much want to get him out of my house as soon as possible, and therefore there would be no time for photographs.

I also wonder what strangers think when they see him on the street.
 
YOU ARE ALL FUCKIN PATHETIC. GET A LIFE AND STOP STARING AT PICTURES OF PEOPLE. THIS GUY HAPPENS TO BE A REALLY NICE GUY. YOUR ALL FUCKIN MORONS. YOUU ARE ALL THE PATHETIC ONES. DO YOURSELVES A FAVOR AND GET A LIFE.
 
...oh yeah, he's from Staten Island...big surprise!
 
This guy goes to my school : Fordham College at Lincoln Center. He is notoriously known as "Guido Kid" or simply "GK". You think this is bad, every monday he arrives just a hue darker, and a shirt size smaller. The pink suit is not flattering, but if gnc had a "Warning" poster for their drugs, he'd be on it. Makes me quiestion my colleges acceptance policy.
 
furezhilton.blogspot.com
 
this taint licker brings douchebaggery to a whole 'nother level.
 
I think he went a little bit overkill with the orange toaster tan cream. He looks absolutley rediculous. If that guy came to pick up my daughter I'd tell him to get the fuck out of my sight.
 
dood lives in staten island, hes in my school
 
Surely these golden douchebags leave stains and are easily tracked during the douche hunting season? Also...it's amazing that the majority of these DBs are from Jersey. I live in Melbourne/ Australia and the drought here has caused their numbers to triple in the last four years. They seem to prefer the dry weather because it doesn't interfere with their hair.
 
I'd like to know at what point during the sticking of his head in a bucket of Ms. Butterworth's to style his hair he thought, "Gee, this dark maple sheen would look great if I let it dry on my face. And it's delicious!"
 
bahahahaha
 
The guy on the right is soooo fucking hot.
 
What a douche. Not only are his clothes and fake-ass orange tan totally hilarious, but his hair could be the best part. Turn it upside down and you've got a broom.
 
I think he is Hellboy's illegitimate son.
 
When did the X-men get a new member??
 
God northern and southern people are so different.
 
http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1790181/
 
I would love to watch this kid tortured, killed and videotaped and then sent to his mother, only to be videotaped and put on america's funnies home videos. He is a waste of life and deserves a bath of battery acid and AIDS.
 
God i miss playing super mario
 
I go to Fordham University and that guy goes there too. His name is Michael Caso and he became a celebrity at Fordham when the kid who runs the Fordham blog started making fun of him on a daily basis. FUrezHilton.blogspot.com
 
this particular douchebag comes from staten island.... i've seen him around too.

more orange guido trash from staten island than anywhere in the world.... except maybe westchester, ny...please don't confuse with the guidos of nj... quite the different category of guido.
 
maybe it's something in the water they drink
 
what happened to vanilla face?
 
Hahahaha. Oh man. The best part is you know he wanted to just make up for not having a tan in one way-too-long session. His last words before going in to that fateful tanning booth - "This will totally work."
 
If Don Johnson and a Oppla Loompa mated... BLAMMO this guy
 
Is there even the slighest chance this guy is not from New Jersey?
 
Jersey is not to blame -- this is all SI/Brooklyn
 
Note the far left, where one may observe the early onset of Oompa-Poompaism.
 
close ups of these 2 ass clowns...
http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1795140

i'm from north jersey & my old lady is from SI. forget that, i'm thoroughly embarrassed to be walking the same planet as these D-Bags. i'd feel sorry for both of these walking creamsicles if i wasn't taken over with such rage and disgust that the sight of them just made me puke my hotpocket all over my keyboard. bastards.
 
Wow...just wow...this is the first time i've been to this site, and after seeing this picture it was well worth my time. There's no way he could be like that on purpose...it has to be a science experiment gone wrong or something
 
HAHA thats the son a mafioso, silly mafia italians haha
 
Sad thing is these are the guys who have Italian flags on their car, etc.... when they have no idea about Italy. Put these guys in Italy for a week with their sense of fashion.....

Guidos are not real Italians!
 
Wow there are absolutely no words for all the people who are hating on these guys. Just grow up and get a life. I know them personally him and his date and all i kno is that he treats his gf like a queen and there so happy together his a great person. So stop talking shyte about a person you never met in your life just by the way they appear. How do we know what all of you look like on the other side im sure if someone posted a pic of you on a website and starting making fun of you, you wouldnt like it.
 
That is freaking hilarious...oompa loompa, I love it, now he just needs the white saddle pants and suspenders
 
Pink dude is an alien.
 
Spray on tans gone horribly horribly wrong...
 
Is it just me or is the guy at the back of the line looking like his brother? least he's not in pink, but he is just about as orange
 
Prompa Prompa prompadee douche
Michael "Don" Caso is an intriguing puzzle for you
Prompa Loompa Prompadah doh
Only Staten Island produces such a Gui-do

What do you get when you primp like a Bitch?
You'll look like a tranny and a not a mob snitch
Why would you be orange, 5ft tall, and inject HGH?
Becasue you're an insecure pathetic panty waste

You'll get no
You'll get no
You'll get no
You'll get no respect


Oompa Loompa Doompadee Dah
Since you're a tranny guido you should sport a Bra
You will live in happiness too
like the Oompa Loompa Dommpadee do.
 
Has anyone let Madame Tussauds know that their mannequins have escaped?
 
yeah, it's true he goes to Fordham at Lincoln center...dont worry the rest of us dont look like that--but the icing on the cake is that he's Pre-Med...tell me, what med-school commitee will even allow him to SIT for an interview to get into med school looking like that? he's nice from what i've heard, but i just dont get it
 
I swear that's Corey Haim, sorry Corey!

http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1795140
 
Yo...Like fuck yo...I'ma gonna totally get wit dis bitch yo.

At least that what I think he is thinking. Its not the little orange man we should be mocking, its his parents...can you imagine the amount of golden wall hangings and landau roofs at this kids house? Like fuck yo...
 
LOL OMG.... this made my day because these two 'bags go to Dolphin's Fitness in Brooklyn. I love the title... Oompa Prompa... props
 
And this is why I'll never make an effort to see Staten Island....

WOW.
 
God, I need heroin...
 
Hmmmmmmmm,
Well sad thing is that Prompa & the tan jacketed choad caboose in that crazy train,
between the 2 of them,
actually thought that spraying themselves orange,
choosing an odd color for a suit, and then going in public was a GOOD idea...

Slainte
 
This is what happens when you use your microwave as a tanning device.
 
I laughed so hard I almost threw up. Oompa Prompa. Bwaaaaaahahahah!
 
Guido Kid or GK is beyond being a DB, in my book he's a legend. Look at his confidence and his roided out frame. He makes me proud to be an American. I bet he thinks he can beat some ass too...
 
guidos such as pink suit boy give a bad name to the human race. LOOK AT HOW FUCKING RIDICULOUS HE LOOKS!!! i mean seriously, how much do u have to go to the tanning solon to get that bright orange. and ur not impresing anyone with ur weapon-like hair.
 
I think our Oompa Loompa prom boy is originally from Russia. Clearly he grew up VERY close to the Chernobyl nuclear disaster site and had his skin permanently burned from the high levels of radiation in the area.

eric
 
Holy fuck this guy probably thought "awesome my mom got me this fuckin' sweet pink tux and jenna definetly gunna fuck me tonight, god im the fucking man" and no one actually told him how ridiculous he looked
 
To the total fucktards defending the douches: If you REALLY want to help these choad-biters out, tell them they look fuckin' stupid and knock off the fakin' bake lotion. They are posted here because they look ridiculous and deserve every comment they get.
 
Xavier in broklyn?
 
i have exams tomorrow and this picture just killed my brain
 
Ew. All I have to say.
 
WTF! Did he vacation on Mercury?
Wonka should have warned him not to go out in public.
 
mr oompa has been featured on every guido site that i've ever seen online. that's one hated 17yo piece of douche, if multiple photos of him at prom have circulated the net over the last couple of years. that's what jersey grows i guess: Garden of Oompa State
 
Gotta say thankyou for this, I haven't laughed like that (balled up, crying, couldn't look back for fear of not being able to breathe) for years. Amazing.
I kinda wanna shake this guys hand...very bold.
You crazy americans you.
British douches just don't have the balls to pull this kinda shit. I mean, the pink suit?
Genius.
 
Who cares if he's nice or not, he's still a douche for having the audacity to show himself in public in full on douchedom form, it should be a fukn crime to think u look ok like that! Nice....what the f do u mean?
 
wow ha ha fuckin kids now days
 
i skipped class just to read this, this guy looks like a walking turd no one is that orange other than brooke hogan and the crap that my dog took last week.
 
C76....
Your daughter or your sister is probably doing a "nowadays" kid as i'm typing this...
It's 12:44pm...Do you know where your children are?
ELVIS DURAN IS THE GAYEST BASTARD ON THE RADIO!!!
Promote real websites cock licker!!
 
You know what I just realized? (Seriously, just) They look like the gotti boys! The mob clan, shoddy tv show Gotti boys.
 
Speechless.
 
I can't wrap my mind around the fact that this person is an actual human being. The only conclusion is that he is an alien from the planet Douche.
 
THIS GUYYY!!!! oww he will have a dirty stained collar after sweating his tan off on prom night... This guy comes from the galaxy far, far beyond 'Bag...
 
ok...i went to this same prom as this kid cuz i went to his school...i absolutely promise that this is not photoshopped and this kid is the biggest 'bag on the face of planet earth....now he is on steriods for only his chest and he is really pumped out and as orange as ever...i will shortly post a pictureof what theis poor soul looks liek now for ur enjoyment
 
Remember Luke, the douche will be with you......... always.
 
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For the first time in a long time, i'm speechless...
 
I've never been so happy to be a southern preppie in my life.
 
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