Joe Douche with some hotties was chillin’
All tilted like a Batman villain
With a bleethy Arquette
Who’s undoubtedly wet
And looks like she might need penicillin

 

Last one...it's a stretch:

Joe Douche’s deportment disgusts us
That face should be treated with knife thrusts
He better beware
With Melanie there
Of El Mariachi A. Banderas
 

Joe Douche was a choad with a power
Making everyone smell something sour
Hottie in white
Your belt I would bite
For at least a half of an hour.

Girl in white kind of looks like a muppet.
But her chest is so supple I'd cup it.
Holding it there
And chewing her hair
For her, I'd give up the trumpet
 

Three mega hotties, but who's that there?
It's me, douch with spiky hair.
Skin pasty like a zombie,
shirt from abercrombie,
Joe Douche with pouty lipped stare.
 

Joe Douche of side combover fame,
three hotties he looks to tame,
The girl in white... look at that bumper,
I want to poke her in the dummper,
Joe Douche can have her once I ruin that dame.
 

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Ol' Douche looked a sick porcupine,
But his honeys were somewhat sublime,
Back dimples, she showed it,
But rubbing on toad spit,
Meat Man, commiting some crime.
 

Hottie in back says OK and pumps her fist,
They got a Joe Douche for free on craigs list,
They pose and pretend to look happy with the find,
But now they are in a bind,
Because on HCwDB they are dissed.
 

Joe Douche at a party, says he
"I've bagged a few hotties, you see"
But I look at the picture
and I'm not a bit sure
Who's the bagger, and who's the bagee?
 

Three hotties in pink, white, and red
Joe Douche with his comb-over head
When the camera flashed
We can see they were smashed
And tomorrow they'll wish they were dead.
 

Today is a horrible day
because Joe douche got 3 hotties to stay
I'm wanting to die
or at least rip out my eye
becaue hottie says everythings OK.
 

The hottie in pink shouted "WOO!"
"Take a picture with Buffy and Sue!"
Sue, wearing the red
Leaned into schlorthead
And thought, "Did someone just step in some poo?"
 

Walked into the club and what did I see?
Three bleethed out chicks and a douchebag staring at me....
I looked to the left, and then to the right,
Yet the Exits seemed to hide from my frightened and bewildered sight!
The Tag spray hung heavily in the air, rank and oh so smelly...
Over-applied by douchebags in anticipation of the sight of toned and taut bellies.
Drunkeness and Grieco Virus abounds and teems within the walls of this Hellish place...
Joe Douche needs a penicillin covered sledgehammer to mate with his face....POSTE HASTE.
 

He looks like a broken Vin Diesel,
If he mated and spawned with a weasel,
Hot chicks couldn't care
What he does with his hair
What he'll give them is worse than the measles.
 

Man, Melanie Griffith still has her fastball!

[Insert limerick here]
 

What's up with that one chick's nose?
And her lips and her eyes and her clothes?
Her lip might be cleft!
But the chick on the left,
I wanna feel me some of those.
 

Joe Douche is a nut
the chicks on his hip are sluts
They smoked all his crack
Masturbated in the back
And left a corncob in Joe's butt

"I am not a poet and I am still hungover. This guy is the hands down winner for Douche of the week"
 

joe douche highlights glowing like a light tower
pink hc showing her pride with the sign of douche power
lordy lordy lordy how i pray oh lord howz iz pray *cough*
ole no seven will koolade it through the wall and rip joe douchebags head off
 

The picture of Joe Douche is tilted.
The nips of that one chick are gilded.
And the chick in the red,
Could give me some head
While the dick of Joe Douche goes wilted.
 

Joe Douche was a choad from New Jersey
Who did not deserve our kind mercy
His uproarious hair
And scrote turd stare
Made him less stud but more of a guernsey.
 

You realize this is the co-owner of Sunset Tan, right? You can watch him douchebagging it up in "real time" on E! (I'm not excited, that's their frickin logo) on his show. Barf. He's even douchier when he's talking (shock).
 

This tilt-a-whirl douche leaves me queasy
Chicks, once hot, are now heading toward sleazy
We see bleething take place
At an effortless pace
And wish flushing Joe Douche was as easy.
 

nice LT!
 

His boyfriend's shlong was a tickle
He lubed Joe's ass with warm spittle
As the tapioca flowed
And dripped off Joe's nose
At last his lover had an empty pickle
 

There once was a douchebag named joe
Who'd sell out his grannie for blow
With his douchface smirk
This leg-humping jerk
Should clue he's too old and just go

And by go I mean jump into a wood chipper.
 

When darkness descends on the block,
He emerges from under his rock.
While hotties cavort,
Joe Douche takes a snort,
And wishes that he had a cock.
 

Joe Douche co-owns Sunset Tan
The show which I am not a fan
He throws us his smirk
What a lame line of work
I hope he gets struck by a van
 

This Dudley Douchenozzle is beyond comment. Please excuse me while I go puke my toenails up!
 

http://images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/20070510/425.sunset.tan5.051007.jpg

God DAMN look at his hairline go!
 

Joe Douche is a true ignoramus
With this TV show making him famous
Without breaking a sweat
Fourteen dollars I'd bet
That he highlights the hair on his anus
 

...more gay ass humor...yuck...

Joe Douche has a show on the telly
Which makes this pic all the more smelly
His fame is a crime
E! should be doing hard time
Where they have to lick dudes spread with jelly
 

Meet Joe Douche. he screws with your brain.
so much so, that rhyming becomes a pain.
hey, did the above two lines actually rhyme?!
yes! it must be the hotties - they saved me this time!

but it looks like the hotties won't last long.
soon they'll be bleethed to kingdoms gone.
for Joe is the grim reaper of all thing hot.
remember the movie? well, i'd rather not.

(kinda decided to wimp out on a near rhyme of long and gone... must be Joe Douche preventing me from thinking up a perfect rhyme...)
 

Thank you Lemon Tart! I got about halfway down the page, and I was despairing of seeing something both funny and in the appropriate meter and rhyme scheme!

LSMcquade did a nice job, too.
 

It's Sunday now, but whatever.

Now I have to write a limerick
About a douche who likes sucking dick:
He uses the semen
Like gel but more often,
And declines dough when turning a trick.
 

If only this picture were later!
I bet her breasts were displayed thure.*
Joe Douche says, "No matter!"
(He came with a splatter--
And grinned, despite being premature.)


I mean really, look at his pants.

*: Phonetic spelling of Southern pronunciation of "there".
 

A bit late to this Saturday game,
Still I'll hazard a rhyme all the same
The sideflaps with gel
Well they just look like hell
But that tube-topped young body looks game.

--Vinny Scumbaglia
 

"Fix your fuckin' face!"

-dbagsupreme
 

I love how he tried to cover his 8 head with the hair on the side of his head....You're gettin old playa....and your chicks are par at best.....Those are the chicks at the end of the night your just like...

"Eh....I'd Hit it"
 

Co-owner of Sunset Tan.
 

Wow. sad to say this is my ex. There would be no show if it wasnt for me. and I really really love this page!!! am I supposed to ryhme too? I will let you folks do the dirty work. Douche on! i mean rage on! love it. I will stay anonymous to protect my own damn anonymity on this one!
 

Wait a second. I just went to the homepage and saw velveeta cheese aka promoter Dean May (who is friends w our douche here of course) and someone else i know. where are you getting your pics from almighty douch man? ....
 

Where's Devin? He must be recovering from his skin graft/chemical peel to fix all the craters on his face.