I never thought that I would ever tell someone to put a mandanna on.

-X
 

Alright, that's it. I'm calling bullshit. As much fun as today has been, the high hair/angry hott chicks/mad guys from Cindy motif that has been going on must come to an end. I've suspended my disbelief for long enough. Douchebags with popped collars, bling, and dog tags tomorrow please.

You see? THIS is why Garth was afraid of the Suck Kut. Honestly, if I ever met somebody like this, I don't know that I would be able to help yelling out, "What the fuck is WRONG with you?!" What the fuck IS wrong with people like this?
 

I think warren beatty just mugged a guido and stole his hair.
 

This is Rick:

This is funny you dicks. HA HA If you post pics of these emos it's funny. But when you post pics of playas it's not cool.

-RICK
 

Huh. Satan is a douchebag. Who would have guessed?
 

I am with Douche Vader on this one. No way that's for real. Did someone light the background on fire?

Oh, hey Rick.
 

White boy you fittin' piss me the fuck off, otay!? That shit wahn't funny when 'Panky did it. Don't play dat shit.
 

An' fuck you, Rik, you bitch ass punk!
 

The white Don King.

In the words of the late Wesley Willis:

Take your ass to the barber shop
Tell the barber that you're sick of looking like an asshole
 

His head looks like Cornell West's crotch.
 

Let's ask Henry Louis Gates, I'm sure he's seen it many times.
 

Aaack.
 

This douche looks blazed, and due to this, im not sure if he's bag. Id like to "whiten" that chicks teeth though.....

~RH
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

Nostradouchemus,
Bmt is absolutely right.
 

Cornell West. Genius BMT. There are days you just slay me by pulling stuff like that out...

As for the douche? Meh. Big hair and no hand signals...Not even dog tags and again I fail to see the hot chick. I'm going to get a martini.
 

This is Squatch:

Hey, Rick. Go cornhole yourself. I hear it's big where you come from.

-SQUATCH
 

This is Rick:

Keep frontin son because you don't even know who your talkin to friend.

-RICK
 

Yes, mafia dons and assassins are well known for spending their spare hours posting comments on blogs. Or perhaps you're taking a break in between training fights for the UFC, hmm? Must be tough typing with all those broken fingers and cleaning the blood dripping from cuts your opponent laid on you from your keyboard...
 

MJ, Thanks. I took a class in college with West so it was easy mental pickins.
And Rick, that Gates avatar was just for you. He said he wants to see you in his office.
 

And squatch, that avatar is fucking awesome.
 

This is Rick:

What are you callin me? Avatar? Your moms an avatar little emo bitch.

Keep talkin son it only digs you further in the hole

-RICK
 

Thanks, bmt. I wore my best shirt!
 

This is a new strain, I think, which I shall dub "Obliging 'bag".

Nomenclature: The Obliging Douchebag (saccus officiosus, ODB) belongs to the family douchens. It is so named because of its willingness to be caught by the 'bag hunter, and the manner in which it aids its own destruction.

General information: Like all members of the genus saccus (q.v.), the officiosus is a low-level scrotum with the ability to pull only relatively unattractive chicks. This is due to the minimal amount of the Grieco Virus (q.v.) which their weaker bodies can carry, as compared to stronger douchebags like the porscha joeia (q.v.).

Distinctive Characteristics: There are several important traits that distinguish the Obliging 'bag from other douches of the genus saccus. This species generally exhibits minimal signs of being a douchebag. The major indicator is an absurd hairstyle. This hairdo generally sticks straight up, in an anime (see "Japanimation")-like spike, and seems to be an attempt to model the more successful grooming of the porscha joeia.
One of the easiest ways to find the ODB are the wedding band (these 'bags do not have enough Grieco virus to Bleeth more than one moderate-looking female), and the nearby tools of his own destruction. Refer to the illustration, in which the ODB stands near a roaring fire. Even though fire is extraordinarily dangerous to the Obliging 'bag--as its greasy, gelled hair forms a perfect ignition point--the 'bag can usually be found near one.
This type of 'bag is generally docile, and will sometimes even assist the 'bag hunter in destroying it. This is especially true if the 'bag hunter can blindfold the 'bag before touching the hair to flames.

Similarities to other animals: The excessively upward growth of the hair of the Obliging 'bag attempts to make it appear to be a Joey Porsche. It is analogous in this manner to the kingsnake's attempt to look like the coral snake by mimicking its color band pattern. While it may be deceptive at first glance, a simple ryhme can help the 'bag hunter distinguish between the two:
"Hair in crown, it's The One;
Hair in spike, it's just Mike."
Of course, the easiest way to distinguish between the two types of 'bag is to look for the douchelips. The ODB is incapable of making JP's trademark lip purse.

Habitat: The Obliging 'bag occurs only in developed countries, where the wonders of modern medicine, government support of the disadvantaged, and chicks with loose morals have overcome the forces of natural selection. Thus, the Obliging 'bag is found primarily in cities with populations exceeding 6.5 thousand.
 

It appears that WillFerrellBag has posted...and he used Dostoyevsky in his initial insult. He's a speller!!

Everything was fine until the words "help run promotions..." then he devolved back into utter choad. But he kept his spelling up throughout.

He seems legit, unlike this rick, ashleigh, kaylee crap.

This is 'bag and daughter in front of the cook your own steak pit at some tourist spot in austin or salinas.
 

I hope that guy was careful, those fires could set him ablaze!! Look out, Radioactive Man!!!
 

Wookin' pa Nub

from Buckwheat's Greatest Hits
sung by Eddie Murphy
SNL, circa 1982
 

I need to throw my vote with MJ on this one. No pout, no bling, no offensive aura of self-entitlement, no adolescent boob grab. No rage. Just that hair. That....hair. It's good for an involuntary shudder but otherwise I believe that White Buckwheat should be spared from our roast.

But my, what a day for hair it's been.
 

Whazzup funny site here, heard about this from some peeps, about how you're using some pics from our club scene and guests.

This is Dino201, I am with www.njguido.com and if you're interested in our events and parties this summer, give us a shout at the website. Don't be hatin' summer 2007, get aboard!!!

We have the HOTTEST LADIES and FRESHEST TUNEZ, spun by NY and NJ's legendary DJ's.

PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR- www.njguido.com

Dino201
 

THANKS Dino! You have broad us to the Motherchoad! :LOL:

-iDcouhe
 

Hey Rick-

Oh. Shit!! BWAH HA HA HA HA HA... That is the funniest thing I've seen in months!!! He didn't call you an avatar shit for brains. Now I know this dude isn't fer realz. Yo yo yo yo yo.

Maybe while you are in West's office, he could bitch slap some smarts in ya. With his crotch hair.

Send me the video.
 

And I meant when you are in Gates office... damn martinis jack up my synapse firings... eesh.
 

There are some choice almost HCwDB shots on njguido.com... like this one:
what's with the creepy smile, guy?
 

Sister mary mother fucker sweet Ferdinand of nova Scotia ass licking dingleberry. Dino201 may well have clinched it.
What the hell people? What are we to do here? Sites like tanguido.com and www.njguido.com are fucking REAL. What's worse? So is Rick! He was insulted that someone CALLED HIM AN AVATAR! In the back of my mind, I was actually relieved once I convinced myself he was someone's creation. But after the whole avatar thing, he can't be! No one can make that shit up! Even if he is a retarded 14 year old getting some attention (highly likely) rather than the Cincy thug he claims to be, it doesn't matter. HE still EXISTS.
I don't know if this is apparent, so I am just going to spell it out: we are LOSING THE WAR, PEOPLE. Big time! Oh! And while we're at it, more bad news...New Jersey is real too! I know it, I was there a few weekends ago. Before that, it seemed like just another hilarious inside joke. Nope! That fucking state exists, and it it chock FULL of douchebag assholes. They manned the gas stations, hung out at the bars, and FILLED the crappy ass airport. Worst place ever! (Ok, so Delaware was worse, but that's besides the point).
This is so depressing. I...I really don't know what to do about any of this. We are being overrun and are POWERLESS to stop it. Why the hell aren't the rest of you panicking?! What the hell is wrong with you?! I mean, I'm a tried and true 'bag myself, and these newfound revelations are genuinely freaking ME out! Why isn't anyone else freaking out!?
Jesus Christ on a pogo stick shot out of a cannon. I gotta get a grip. Starting now.
Hey Dino. Hottest ladies, eh? Like these two? I got news for you, douchnozzle. Them's mans, baby!
Sigh. I have never been so goddamn happy to live in Los Angeles in all my life. It doesn't matter HOW hungover I wake up tomorrow...as long as I'm still here, and more to the point, NOT in NJ, all is well. Fuck ALL of you stupid scumbag douchebags out there. Well, except for me, obviously. And the regular contributors to this site. And DB1, and my closer friends. But the rest of you high hair wearing, just figured out how to use the internet motherfuckers? Lick taint. Amen.
 

any more spikey hair douchebags the HCwD site will probably be like a mind field. you know, every step you take you risk impaling your foot or something.

and i'll say this before anyone else does: Mitch (Meats)... do you think this guy... just... maybe... kinda looks like you?

oh yeah. Rick is desperate to be part of the HCwD community. i wonder why?
 

I almost choked on my Diet Coke this morning when I noticed that Rick got pissed off at being called an "avatar." I agree with Vader - you can't make that shit up.
 

mitch would have his paws around a hotter girl.
 

maybe a little older version of me. i dunno. except for the puckered asshole on the chin and the suck cut.

i doubt i would have my paws around a hotter girl though. i am gay.
 

He's an electrician, right?
 

"hairdresser on fire!"
 

This is actually a normal guy, caught an instant before being sucked into a malfunctioning overhead HVAC duct.

--Vinny Scumbaglia
 

Unce....tice....fee tine a mady......
 

As evidenced by the fire & brimstone that surrounds her, the Bleethed hottie wakes up to find out that yes , in fact, she has died & gone to douchebag hell ....
 

Nice lid, dingle-berry. Next time read the warning label..."voltage may kill!!"

Deuche Baggilo
 

nice post!

http://www.wiierrorcodes.com
 

I know where this photo was taken... this makes me a douche too.
 

It's Jimmy Deuchetron!