I personally love this guy. I only got to see the JOEY PORSCHE experience a few times before it was made private. And wouldn't you know it? He won't add me as a friend on MySpace. I think I need to take a few pictures with me and an 80 gallon bottle of Grey Goose. Is it cooler the bigger it gets? Anyone? Anyone?

That said, now I have Armani Alex in my life and I am happy once again. Douche-on good sir!
 

Worship at the church of her cleavite. Oh yea, he's scrote.
 

I scrolled up and down a few times to his first posting, and then this one...it's like he is a template unto himself. He's got a signiture scrotiness like the big boys that came before him. (And ON him, as the case may possibly be....) Yes, his chicka is cute, but to me she looks like a little girl trying to play grown-up. Sweetie, you have YEARS ahead of you to lower yourself to being a bleethed out skank for some budding douche like A.A. here. Escape now while you're still relatively pure and untainted.
 

DB- Huge fan man and live in NYC. Let me know where you be. It be good to meet ya.
 

How long do you have to manscape yourself to get that wispy pencil-thin trail of prepubescent facial hair growing along the jawbone? And is he drinking a beer or is she pissing in the can so he can beat his next state-mandated drug test? The douche content of his urine must be sky high.

Jailergrrl, can your next picture show a little more boobage? I can't fathom what I must be missing. Damn picture only shows about 15% of your total acreage.
 

Ohhhhhhhh Alex, I wish I was cool enough to have that trendy little line of facial hair on my jaw bone, and a nice, healthy head of cactus hair, and a trendy t-shirt tucked behind my trendy belt buckle with my trendy earrings and my trendy bottled water and my trendy jeans with holes in them.....toooooooo muuuuccchhh TRENDINESS AAGAHAGHGAHHAG
 

I know this is trivial compared to the generally high level of douche on this kid, but what I can't get over are his fake lapis lazuli contacts. He's so proud of his Italian heritage that he removes all trace of man-hair and camouflages his brown eyes? Those are the most unreal looking blue contacts since Jessica Alba's "I was once an uber-hott brunette but now I play a distorted barbie w/cobalt eyes" in Fantastic 4. Ugh.
 

Jaw-y Porsche?
 

I want to think of something nasty to say about ol' Alex here. But I can't. He speaks for himself.

Besides, he never hated on anyone....
 

Looking at this scrotaculaur waste of life makes me glad I dont have my space. If I have to see one more douchey my space page Im canceling my broad band service and the internet will be dead to me. Soccer douche getting pussy for the first time in the history of soccer or pussy. JOHNNY BLAZE THE BLAZE STANDS FOR FLAMING!!!

_the doucheinator_
 

@Jailergirl

Good point on the chick, she does look awfully young. And the bendy-straw. My little girls use bendy-straws.

There may be hope for her. Like HC in the previous photo, her left hand is ready to protect her goodies, and her drink hand/arm is between them.

B-b-b-b-ut, she has a ring. Good gosh, could she be married/engaged? Where in the blazes is her SO (and pray he's not already in the picture...)? And why isn't he protecting her from this vileness?
 

I was wrong, Joey DID in fact add me as a MySpace friend. It's the gift that keeps on giving. His Birthday party just happened, and... the sheer douchosity of what occurred that night cannot be explained, it must be witnessed.

OH MY GOD THE KISSY FACES!!!!!!!!!!

I will leave you all with Joey's sublime ABOUT ME section from MySpace "FUCKK MYSPACE...REAL TALK DONT HiT ME UP UNLESS U KNOW ME CUZ CHANCES ARE i DONT LiKE YOUU.. I GUESS U CAN SAY I SET A BAD FIRST iMPRESSION CUZ I AiNT TRYiNG TO iMPRESS Y0U.. F0R ALL YOU HERBASS NiGGAS MAKiNG PiCTURES AND EDiTING THEM ALL DAY ON YOUR COMPUTER..iM GLAD YOU GOT THE COUPLE EXTRA HOURS IN UR DAY TO DO SO, KEEP RiDING UR "HOOKED UP" CiViCS, AND BROKEDOWN BiMMERS UP AND DOWN THE BLVD. BUY HEY IF I WASNT ME, I WOULD HATE MEE TOO. MOST LiKELY I CAN BLAME MYSELF FOR THAT BECAUSE PROBABLY TOOK A COUPLE MINUTES OUT OF MY NiTE TO BEAT UP SOME1 U KNOW OR CARE ABOUT. OR MAYBE A NiTE TO GiVE IT TO A GiRL YOU LOVE..WEITHER IT WAS UR GIRLFRIEND, NEIGHBOR,COUSIN, SISTER, MOTHER..I GOT NO RESPECT FOR NOBODY BUT MYSELF NO RESPECT NO REMORSE YA DIGGG"

Like me, you're probably speechless after reading that.

I mean seriously, Ya Digggggggg?
 

I still say there's no way this choad is straight, not with that pretty boy kissy face. Just like JoeyDouche...
 

If JP's page is the Rosetta Stone--and it is--Blaze's feels like Pandora's Box. Like, great evil is being unleashed, and every time somebody views the page, Satan date-rapes an angel.

I need to understand why JP and JB take pictures of their cars in such shitty locations. I think Porsche's Carrera is in the shop, and AA's MB fronts a bleak hellscape of urban decay. Background makes foreground, fellas.
 

Have a closer look at this photo

Why does this douche's right eye look messed up and if he is holding a bottle, where is the top of it?

and what's with the shading on the Bleeth's head?

I smell, scrote and douche but I also smell PHOTO SHOP!!!
 

Paul harvey, you are an inestimable treasure. Keep up the good work as our undercover brother, feeding us the inside scoop so we can keep up on the inner workings of the douche mind. We read, therefore, we diggggggg.
 

My God, why would anybody consciously do any of those things to his own head?
 

OMG, This guy is the king of all that is douche, what a complete and total tool.
 

aww man DB1. we all know that sometimes some HCwDotW aren't as exciting as the other ones but you're spoiling it by telling us that it'll "probably" be a "doozy". that's just kinda... y'know.

that said, i have a word of advice for the hottie.

we all know what you're thinking:

"ohmigod he must be this Guido badass with rich parents i must look hot to impress him! and then i'll never have to work!"

at least try to control your poor face a bit so that it doesn't give everything away.
 

You know the thought of a holocaust always terrified me. Now i would like people like this rounded up and put into camps. First they came for Ab Lobster, and you did nothing, then they came for Donkey and you did nothing, then they came for Joey Porsche and still you did nothing. Now they are coming for you Armani Alex.
 

Jeah, Chica; ju pee een dees bottle an I can pass my drug tess an keep my yob at Applebees....
 

The Joey Porche/Johnny Blaze experiences have taught me a valuable lesson. I remember thinking when I saw JP's myspace, that it could not possibly get any worse or even close. I had thought hcwdb.com was doomed because we would never be able to find another scrote as big as JP to mock. But now, I see the light with the help of Johnny Blaze. I see now that we will never be left without an ample supply of high quality douchebags and the bleeths who love them. The proof is in the pile of shit that is JB.
 

Yes I discovered Johnny Blaze .. I hope you enjoy him .. I will be sending HCWDB some more Scrotes for all of you to enjoy