Thursday, July 12, 2007
Johnny Blaze
It would perhaps be simplistic to simply say that Johnny Blaze is the new Joey Porsche. Clearly the singularity that is/was the JoeyPorsche experience is something that will never be truly replicated in our lifetime. And by replicated I mean purged from our collective memory by way of a psychoanalytic bleach. Words themselves can not fully encapsulate the joy of "Acapulo," the "tm," or wut his dic did.
Johnny Blaze is his own person. And by person I mean flaming bag of scroteundae. A Halley's Comet of douchebaguous doucherific douchosity.
Oh sure, I can search through my lexicon of terms to describe the Johnny Blaze Experience. But, as with J.P., words will never do it justice.
I've considered whether these MySpace pages are setups, and they may very well be. As with JoeyP, the absurdity of the pics argue that in no natural universe can such atrocities sprout organically. But as far as I can tell, these 'bags is real.
So without further ado, turn up your speakers and get ready...
buckle up...
I give you.... The Johnny Blaze Experience.
LiFe iS What U MAkE iT -- Johnny Blaze (or Sartre)
Comments:
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Holy fuck is his head huge. How can he stand upright?
And smart move by Lindsey Lohan hottie to cover up her box with her hand. Don't want wany crabs jumping off of him to her.
And smart move by Lindsey Lohan hottie to cover up her box with her hand. Don't want wany crabs jumping off of him to her.
No way that that My Space page is fake - way too many different photos to make that likely.
If you ever read this comment 'Armani Alex:'
I guess I may be a hater, but at least I know the difference between your and you're.
If you ever read this comment 'Armani Alex:'
I guess I may be a hater, but at least I know the difference between your and you're.
# posted by 
: 9:49 AM
: 9:49 AM
That dude looks like a queer. To the extent that I would bet my life savings that this douche has sucked more cock than the health department has checked.
# posted by : 9:53 AM
: 9:53 AM
I just returned from an epic voyage into the heart of primeval douchebagerry. And I am frightened.
I love how all these greasy guido types call each other "nigga." And all the hotties with his name written on and/or covering their naughty bits. It's too much to take. Is this what the world is coming to? Really?
I love how all these greasy guido types call each other "nigga." And all the hotties with his name written on and/or covering their naughty bits. It's too much to take. Is this what the world is coming to? Really?
LMFAO! That my space page is better then the Sle-Stack Pic below. This guy is headed for the Douche Bag Hall of Scrote. I am choking on my own bile at the moment (I am not kidding.) And no it would not surprise me one bit to find out that this guy smokes pole when he thinks no one is looking.
It's nice the kid has aspirations - of being a porn star. Too bad he'll never make it.
I used to like Grey Goose until I started viewing this site and realized my value system is beyond fucked up if I share any predilictions with these morons. I vow to change my vile ways and stick with Tanqueray.
I used to like Grey Goose until I started viewing this site and realized my value system is beyond fucked up if I share any predilictions with these morons. I vow to change my vile ways and stick with Tanqueray.
# posted by : 10:29 AM
: 10:29 AM
I'm sorry, but I gotta give this kid a pass. Yes, I know he's douchebag, but relative to JP, I just can't judge him that harshly. I mean, his site comprises mostly of pics with cute chicks (rather than the rampant homo eroticism of Mr Porches' page), the bling, kissy face, and hand jestures are kept to a minimum (he's even smiling in a few pics), and most of all, he has this image, this image, and this image on his page, indicating at least the potential for some intellectual curiosity and sense of humor. There's even a little vid on there of a guy popping and locking.
Sigh. Or maybe the meds are just making me soft.
Sigh. Or maybe the meds are just making me soft.
By the way, did one of those pics on his MySpace site say "wifey"? What kind of brain damage could afflict someone so badly that they would agree to marry our boy Johnny?
# posted by : 10:31 AM
: 10:31 AM
Come on, Douche Vader. The guy has a totally inhuman complexion and wears lipstick.
# posted by : 10:33 AM
: 10:33 AM
Agree with Vader. Johnny Blaze experience is good, but after you've been to Acapulo, this is like vacationing in Wisconsin.
FINALLY!! We have a winner folks. We finally have a douchebag that can give JP a run for his money. Ya Diiiiiggg!?
Deuche Baggilo
Deuche Baggilo
Can we really try to deconstruct Mr. Blaze? Words fail me. Ridiculous. Does that work?
-Beelzebag
-Beelzebag
# posted by : 10:49 AM
: 10:49 AM
must. be. eliminated. from. gene. pool. cannot. procreate. the. future. depends. on. it.
# posted by : 10:53 AM
: 10:53 AM
Thanks for sharing that with us. I am forever in your debt and by debt I mean that I owe you something.
# posted by : 11:06 AM
: 11:06 AM
What a dipshit...
Had everyone else noticed that JoeyP's myspace page is now a private profile! Ha ha. I was out of town for a week and could have missed that.
JoeyP - come on bro...unblock it, ya digggggggggggggggg?
Had everyone else noticed that JoeyP's myspace page is now a private profile! Ha ha. I was out of town for a week and could have missed that.
JoeyP - come on bro...unblock it, ya digggggggggggggggg?
I couldnt go through it all. I had to run out into a thundrestorm and projectile vomit. Joey is more of a pure douchebag, but this guys has greater volume of evidence of douchebaggery. He just wont stop.
I think his Lindsey Lohan HC is a dancer. And by dancer, i mean she'll bounce on even my crotch for $40.
-iDouche
I think his Lindsey Lohan HC is a dancer. And by dancer, i mean she'll bounce on even my crotch for $40.
-iDouche
# posted by : 11:25 AM
: 11:25 AM
Vader hon, put down the Valium, take a few deep breaths and look again. How can you say he's not a d-bag? Did you see how he has added the extra radiating gleam from his ear bling? It's like a Supernova exploding in our faces! And the kissy lips!!! How can you disregard the kissy lips?! And the chicka ass grabs...and posing with the Grey Goose bottles? And the hair? And the "Life in the Playboy Club" pics? Should I and the others go on? Babe! Come back to the darkside!!!!
And Texas Bag 'Em, you got my permission to come back! LOL Where are you? We miss you! (I know Pfah does........)
And Texas Bag 'Em, you got my permission to come back! LOL Where are you? We miss you! (I know Pfah does........)
Is it me or do these douches always have a FULL bottle of the goose? I'm starting to think they never drink it, they just bought one bottle and have been carrying it around for years. Thank god I don't go to clubs. After seeing some of these pics over the past month or so, I would have to fucking murder anyone I saw carrying a bottle of Grey Goose.
How classic is it to see a fucking Armani Exchange 'iced out' bling. Its like the mecca of douche bling. He could murder whole countries with that fucking bed of nails hairdo. This week has been overwhelming with the level of scrote talent. Grey Goose is officially Douche Gatorade.
- The Bleethinator
- The Bleethinator
# posted by : 11:33 AM
: 11:33 AM
^^^^^
I am so lightheaded from looking at his myspace that I can only form random thoughts...
I am so lightheaded from looking at his myspace that I can only form random thoughts...
# posted by : 11:35 AM
: 11:35 AM
pfah, your patience will be duly rewarded, and by rewarded I mean you will grow a big red chancre on your eyeball after staring at Mr. Blazes myspace page.
-Beelzebag
-Beelzebag
# posted by : 11:39 AM
: 11:39 AM
Johnny Blaze is no Joey Porshe, however, the similarities are striking and one might accurately call Johnny a poor man's Joey Porshe. Many of the same characteristics that catapulted Joey to greatness in the HoS are also found on JB's page, including the pout, the lipstick, the grey goose, ...the tan. Yet, something's missing; not the suspicions that he may in fact be a gaybag...the words: "I STAY shopping" (way to keep it real JB) and the fact that he can name more fashion designers than any straight man ever should leave that question still open...No, it's the lack of an overgrown ego. Somehow, Joey truly believes that wearing purple lipstick, pouting at cameras while surrounding by men who would be classified as women by 99% of the population is actually something to be proud of. I think deep down though Johnny realizes that such appearances may lead to physical violence being perpetrated on him the further away he is from his native Jersey shore. It's that lack of a killer instinct that prevents Johnny from achieving greatness and by greatness I mean total and utter douche.
Snoop Doggy Douche
Snoop Doggy Douche
# posted by : 11:49 AM
: 11:49 AM
if i didn't get an eye chancre after viewing joey muthahfukin porsche's page, i'm thinking i'll be ok whith johnny's.
but now you've got me worried.
but now you've got me worried.
I had no idea things - people - "'bags" like this actually existed. I knew that the problem was out there... I just had no idea of the severity... So that's what these villains do with Myspace pages, huh?
If there was a God, He'd put an end to this sort of scrote-fondling drip-bagedness.
Tonight, I weep whilst coming to a deeper realization that both he and I are of the same species. It is a sad day...
If there was a God, He'd put an end to this sort of scrote-fondling drip-bagedness.
Tonight, I weep whilst coming to a deeper realization that both he and I are of the same species. It is a sad day...
# posted by : 11:53 AM
: 11:53 AM
This guy is tougher to look at for that simple fact that pretty much every pic has an HC. Joey didn't bring nearly as much HC to the party. This guy is frightening.
-Beelzebag
-Beelzebag
# posted by : 12:01 PM
: 12:01 PM
Did you have to post that link, DB1? My eyeballs gave out temporarily in an act of self-preservation. JB's level of 'baggery is lethal to those not stricken with Greico and hence without tolerance. Egads.
Amerigo Vesdouchey
Amerigo Vesdouchey
# posted by : 12:05 PM
: 12:05 PM
I couldn't get Johhny Blaze's myspace page to pull up until I remembered to disable my Norton's TFD (Total Fucking Douche) filter.
Squint and you'll see that the bag's head is shaped like a guitar pick.
I suspect she hates the itching, but doesn't mind the swelling.
Squint and you'll see that the bag's head is shaped like a guitar pick.
I suspect she hates the itching, but doesn't mind the swelling.
# posted by : 12:07 PM
: 12:07 PM
his head IS shaped like a guitar pick. holee shit. nice catch darksock.
now i wish that Dave Grohl would throw Johnny's head out to the audience.
now i wish that Dave Grohl would throw Johnny's head out to the audience.
I am at a loss for words whenst I returned from losing about five minutes of my life, yes, voluntary lossage, but yet, still a loss.
Really, the blatant commercialism of Johnny's "interests" is beyond douchebaggery-nausea; it's just plain disheartening.
Those HC's, just debasing themselves, yet, just enough to make all of us that aren't part of this realm laugh our f*cking arses off.
YA DIGGGGG?
Really, the blatant commercialism of Johnny's "interests" is beyond douchebaggery-nausea; it's just plain disheartening.
Those HC's, just debasing themselves, yet, just enough to make all of us that aren't part of this realm laugh our f*cking arses off.
YA DIGGGGG?
# posted by : 12:16 PM
: 12:16 PM
It's viewing MySpace pages such as Johnny's, with all those young HC's exposing themselves and dropping to such low levels of douchebaggery, that I'm glad my daughter's Mormon.
# posted by : 12:19 PM
: 12:19 PM
Jailergrrl, I'm not saying he isn't a bag...he's just not that bad and has some redeeming qualities. When I rip on someone, I prefer them to be utterly irredeemable...take Peaches, for instance. Same point, same look, EVERY picture. But when I saw Cro Bagnon looking sharp in that one suit, well, it reduced the rage by an order of magnitude.
And take the pic of Johnny here that DB1 put up. Is just a dude in a t-shirt with a hot chick! Sure, she has too much make up on, and he's probably got too much product in his hair...but there's no bling, no douchy facial expression (I think he just looks like that), no attitude, no douchewear, and only the weakest of hand jestures...just kind of a normal guy with a girl who has ass I would like to wear as a hat...
Am I wrong?
And take the pic of Johnny here that DB1 put up. Is just a dude in a t-shirt with a hot chick! Sure, she has too much make up on, and he's probably got too much product in his hair...but there's no bling, no douchy facial expression (I think he just looks like that), no attitude, no douchewear, and only the weakest of hand jestures...just kind of a normal guy with a girl who has ass I would like to wear as a hat...
Am I wrong?
Did you ever wish that you were unable to use a computer. Maybe you have no arms, legs and are deaf, blind and dumb? Well, the JB experience makes me wish all of the above...
P.S. I don't know what legs have to do with using a computer and I'm pretty sure I'm already dumb.
P.S. I don't know what legs have to do with using a computer and I'm pretty sure I'm already dumb.
Super, ANOTHER Itali-douche.
Again, I sincerely apologize for being italian. It won't happen again.
Joey at least actually owns a porche. This assclown only has generic pics of nice shit on his-space. I guess the citgo don't pay too well do it johnny?
Also, anyone know how many different girls he's posing with? I can't seem to tell them apart.
-LOTD
Again, I sincerely apologize for being italian. It won't happen again.
Joey at least actually owns a porche. This assclown only has generic pics of nice shit on his-space. I guess the citgo don't pay too well do it johnny?
Also, anyone know how many different girls he's posing with? I can't seem to tell them apart.
-LOTD
# posted by : 12:25 PM
: 12:25 PM
So this guy wakes up in the morning, showers, eats his big bowl corn flakes and downs it with a tall cool glass of douche juice, then gets dressed and is happy with what he sees in the mirror? If I looked in a mirror and saw that staring back at me I would give fallatio to a 12 gauge and pull the trigger.
People like this are the reason Al Qaeda hates America.
People like this are the reason Al Qaeda hates America.
# posted by : 12:28 PM
: 12:28 PM
CREATION VS. EVOLUTION
I think Johnny is an original and perhaps a genetic link to an Ape. Hasn't anyone noticed the douche has a sculpted hairline? Which leads one to believe perhaps Grieco may not be the true source of these creatures. Perhaps like Grieco's mom, Johnny's Mom liked having sex in the Monkey House while working part time after school. Just a Thought.
I also have no access to MySpace at work. And with the Pop-up from Hugo Boss today at HCwDB it will be a matter of days before I lose access to this website!
-Bagwan Singh
I think Johnny is an original and perhaps a genetic link to an Ape. Hasn't anyone noticed the douche has a sculpted hairline? Which leads one to believe perhaps Grieco may not be the true source of these creatures. Perhaps like Grieco's mom, Johnny's Mom liked having sex in the Monkey House while working part time after school. Just a Thought.
I also have no access to MySpace at work. And with the Pop-up from Hugo Boss today at HCwDB it will be a matter of days before I lose access to this website!
-Bagwan Singh
# posted by : 12:29 PM
: 12:29 PM
joey porsche may rule johnny, but joey's never been in a movie and johnny has. don't believe me? go check out my blog and then you'll understand.
ride on johnny blaze. ride on.
ride on johnny blaze. ride on.
After a thorough look into his Myspace page. I have come to the conclusion that it is now time to burn Staten Island to the ground and defecate on the ashes.
# posted by : 1:13 PM
: 1:13 PM
Staten Island should be burned and the earth salted so nothing grows there. Then I could fry up those livery lips and make me a sammich.
Lips AND assholes!! I never thought I'd be so lucky!
Lips AND assholes!! I never thought I'd be so lucky!
Good News out today regarding cheap bling (See Wall Street Journal). It seems the Chinese have been meltingdown old circuit boards, batteries and other assorted toxic e-waste and making cheap bling for export to U.S. Maybe we should stop making fun of these douche's bling, they will continue to wear it and will die. Just a thought!
-Bagwan Singh
-Bagwan Singh
# posted by : 1:19 PM
: 1:19 PM
Vader, Honey, go to MySpace. Johnny may have less conspicuous money given to him by his dad than Joey does from his, but this dude has the bling, the hand gestures and the pouty lips that make you want to rip them off.
He is well on his way to becoming Joey quality douche. This guy has no redeeming qualities to him except for the Svengali-like talent of throwing attractive young women into serious trances whereupon he can then make them do his evil bidding. No doubt in 5 years, once the spell is broken, they'll all 3 look back on these pictures and commit group suicide.
He is well on his way to becoming Joey quality douche. This guy has no redeeming qualities to him except for the Svengali-like talent of throwing attractive young women into serious trances whereupon he can then make them do his evil bidding. No doubt in 5 years, once the spell is broken, they'll all 3 look back on these pictures and commit group suicide.
# posted by : 1:31 PM
: 1:31 PM
I'm totally with Vader. I grimaced at the photo and made pukey face at the MySpace page, all right, but he's not a douchebag, he's just a sexually confused kid with hiphop values (which I find repellent...just as my parents' generation found my hippy anti-war values repellent back when I was his age). He's aspiring to what mainstream culture tells him to aspire to. That's what kids do. And ripping savagely on that isn't all that amusing.
This site just slightly kinda jumped the shark a little for me. Let's say...jumped the anchovy.
This site just slightly kinda jumped the shark a little for me. Let's say...jumped the anchovy.
# posted by : 1:45 PM
: 1:45 PM
I'm thinkin instant HoS? And by HoS, I mean I bet JP is somewhere in the thousands of Myspace friends Johnny has on his page, I'm just not going to take time to look. These two are too much alike for them to possibly not hang out with the same women, go to the same clubs, and pout lips in each other's territory. There CANNOT possibly be many places on Earth that these either of these two can hang out and not get the shit beaten out of them on a nightly basis. No doubt my vote has just been cast for DBoTW.
Deuche Baggilo
Deuche Baggilo
See? You can tell by my previous post that I'm so mesmerized by the deDouchery that grammer fails me. Or maybe its the Weideman beer. Either way, I'm close to bathing in my own vomit, and I fully blame The Johnny Blaze Experience for making me sink to such a new low. And by low, I mean ROCK FUCKING BOTTOM!
Deuche Baggilo
Deuche Baggilo
Check out the name of his "Friends":
XpEnSiVe TaStE™
Ms. High Maitence
BARBiE A$H* ™
Yes, the ™ is part of their screen name(s).
What an astounding collection of self-absorbed, air-headed, douche worshiping Bleeths.
XpEnSiVe TaStE™
Ms. High Maitence
BARBiE A$H* ™
Yes, the ™ is part of their screen name(s).
What an astounding collection of self-absorbed, air-headed, douche worshiping Bleeths.
# posted by : 2:20 PM
: 2:20 PM
I can't help but be drawn to the tshirt. Those are air assault wings on some sort of douche-advertisement. I cant freaking stand that. I must kill him -utilizing- the shirt
-iDouche
-iDouche
# posted by : 2:36 PM
: 2:36 PM
I think i just came down with the Grieco virus. I thought the site was pretty cool minus the douche and the music and the italian themed douchebaggery going on there. Seriously those were some hot chicks on there. And even him, he looks like he was forced into the douche lifestyle. He doesnt quite have Ken-bag status, but a good ass kicking or JP getting gunned down should put him back into reality. I'm sorry, but i just dont think that Armani Alex is a bad guy.
DB1 put him against Peaches and let the bag hunters decide.....
DB1 put him against Peaches and let the bag hunters decide.....
# posted by : 2:48 PM
: 2:48 PM
It's like me and Vader are the same person or something..... I didnt feel that he was that big of a bag either. and i even mentioned about the fact that he can be saved. Neither a contender or a pretender.
# posted by : 2:53 PM
: 2:53 PM
It is...too late for him. The douche side of the force is too strong with this one. He can feeeeel the douchery flowing through his veins. The emperor JP has too strong a grip on him. -Baggilo
Wow, although he could never touch Joey Porsche, this fucker still makes me want to drink a gallon of Draino with a razerblade chaser.
# posted by : 3:18 PM
: 3:18 PM
Profoundly disturbing. This douche must be blowing up gaydars up and down the jersey turnpike. Is the doucheness rating system linear in nature or is it exponential like the richter scale? Given the latter, Mr. Blaze rates about a 9.6.
# posted by : 4:02 PM
: 4:02 PM
this is fucking ridiculous. hes a bag, you cant doubt that but how in the hell did he pull that many hotties? im telling you girls will do anything for money. believe me.
_the doucheinator_
_the doucheinator_
# posted by : 4:03 PM
: 4:03 PM
like someone said before..joey porsche and JB could possibly run in the same circles..dont ask me how i know but out of all the millions of people on myspace..joey and johnny do share one common friend:
http://www.myspace.com/exoticl
warning that page is super bright and may cause seizures.
http://www.myspace.com/exoticl
warning that page is super bright and may cause seizures.
This guy has to be a Serbian or Albanian Guido impostor...or maybe he's from Acapulo.
# posted by : 4:45 PM
: 4:45 PM
we got ourselves another jackpot of douche in Douchey Blaze. but as i maintain there can only be so many Jersey bags in the Hall of Scrote if i can help it...
that said, stellar hottie.
that said, stellar hottie.
Someone save me. I'm about to go blowout my hair, buy an armani t-shirt and call myself a "promoter" if it means pulling tail like that.
Note from the rest of NewYork City-Please allow Staten Island to secede, to Jersey, to Long Island, shit I dont care. Can I then ask the terrorists to not target my hometown, and go for Staten Island, we all hate them. Please drive a train loaded with bombs into staten island
SkanderBag
SkanderBag
# posted by : 5:50 PM
: 5:50 PM
By the way, this girl is really cute. I think I would like to Professor Higgins her Eliza Doolittle. The rain would fall gently on her plane.
Seriously i would love to do an experiment with these Bleethed out hotties who are victims of the Grieco. Instead of humiliating I would like to reform them.
SkanderBag
Seriously i would love to do an experiment with these Bleethed out hotties who are victims of the Grieco. Instead of humiliating I would like to reform them.
SkanderBag
# posted by : 5:57 PM
: 5:57 PM
omg...that myspace caused an epileptic seizure, and i'm not an epileptic! (the one a few comment above)
j. blaze is just a Itala-poseur wannabe 'bag.
j. blaze is just a Itala-poseur wannabe 'bag.
# posted by : 6:03 PM
: 6:03 PM
What if Joey Porsche and Johnny Blaze crossed paths in a club? Would they duel eachother to the death with Goose bottles and kissy pouty faces??? Would Earth self implode??? I would watch on pay per view...
-The Bleethinator
-The Bleethinator
# posted by : 6:32 PM
: 6:32 PM
I just don't get it. This guy is so horrifying, it made me relent and stop lurking on this site.
How can some claim he's not a douchebag? Honestly, he's got all the tools...
The hand gestures, the retarded bling (not just bling on the neck and in the ear, but they uber-ghey belt buckle bling), the Grey Goose bottles, the pucker, the tan, the lip gloss, the spiked hair of death. What else is there? This guy is walking douche... If Joey Porsche is Yoda, he's certainly Obi Wan Kenobi.
How can some claim he's not a douchebag? Honestly, he's got all the tools...
The hand gestures, the retarded bling (not just bling on the neck and in the ear, but they uber-ghey belt buckle bling), the Grey Goose bottles, the pucker, the tan, the lip gloss, the spiked hair of death. What else is there? This guy is walking douche... If Joey Porsche is Yoda, he's certainly Obi Wan Kenobi.
Not that big of a bag? Sweet Jeebus on a pogo stick, people! How many times were you dropped on your head as a child?
Not being impressed/incensed by the douche factor of Johnny Blaze just because of similarities to the admittedly scrotacular Joey Porsche is like not caring that you just sighted the Loch Ness Monster because you saw Bigfoot on Tuesday.
Not being impressed/incensed by the douche factor of Johnny Blaze just because of similarities to the admittedly scrotacular Joey Porsche is like not caring that you just sighted the Loch Ness Monster because you saw Bigfoot on Tuesday.
I do believe my favorite thing on his whole MySpace page is the animated graphic on the lower left-hand side entitled "I dare you to frolic like me" (of course the sentence is a mixture of capital letters and lower case, underscoring the magnitude of the douchosity).
Under said title is Alex, I believe, doing the dance of the douche. It's worth watching a few thousand times for the sheer horror/comedy value.
Under said title is Alex, I believe, doing the dance of the douche. It's worth watching a few thousand times for the sheer horror/comedy value.
Seriously what the fuck is up with the kissy lips? My guess is they think it makes them look like a model
# posted by : 7:23 PM
: 7:23 PM
I would say Joey Porche is Johnny Blaze while this Johnny Blaze is no more than Daniel Ketch
# posted by : 7:26 PM
: 7:26 PM
It has come to this point...a point where each man must rise up agaist the douchary and scrotastic ways of big head steve's and their megalomaniatic hair styles. A point where a man says enough is enough...I will not stand for such debauchery. Joey Porche has the chemical make up of pond scum, but I dealt with it...surely thinking that he is only one...there can't be more...I was wrong. There is Johnny. It is a sad day...a day in which I encourage all men to kiss their wives goodbye, grab several blunt objects and head to New Jersey for a good old fashion Johnny hunt. I leave you now full of despair and with little hope for the future.
# posted by : 7:32 PM
: 7:32 PM
douchebag1...we need a quip...an acronym...there have been to many big head steve's lately. To many porcupine hairstyle...so many that it leaves me perplexed as to who they are any more. Separate them from the masses...form a government out them...assign them offices...appoint them responsibilities and charge your faithful internet warriors with the task of keeping up on them...
We could call it the Hall of Hair...where not only are they the president...they are also members.
We could call it the Hall of Hair...where not only are they the president...they are also members.
# posted by : 7:37 PM
: 7:37 PM
michael dudikoff, before he *thankfully* lost all memory of his douching past, and took up the art of the ninjaaaaaaa..
@kellybelly
Do not be ashamed of being Italian. In fact, there's a little Oompa in Johnny's color in this picture - might he be adopted, and since dis-owned?
Do not be ashamed of being Italian. In fact, there's a little Oompa in Johnny's color in this picture - might he be adopted, and since dis-owned?
# posted by : 8:19 PM
: 8:19 PM
Arrrgghhhhh dr feeldouche needs new glasses as my eyes are bleeding, these fuckshits are like a rampant disease spreading all over now, here is what made me laugh out loud and question what Humanity really means...
the skull belt buckle (diamond encrusted?)
the cellphone hanging out of the pocket=WANKER
the hipster rip in the jeans
The scrote poses.
the girls that look uncomfortable for the photo op, fake smiles and some have looks like I don't want to be here.
The pahetic picture of the over sized vodka bottles
the faggy lip gloss and gay as fuck sparkling earring.
and...
OH AND FOR THE HATERS I NEVER HATE ON N E BODY BUT U CONTINUE ON HATING IS IT CAUSE I'M GETTING THE ATTENTION AND YOUR NOT?
dr feeldouche
NO IT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE AN EGO TISTICAL, SEMEN SWALLOWING, FAKE TAN OVER USING, LIP GLOSS SPORTING
FUCKWIT...WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?
the skull belt buckle (diamond encrusted?)
the cellphone hanging out of the pocket=WANKER
the hipster rip in the jeans
The scrote poses.
the girls that look uncomfortable for the photo op, fake smiles and some have looks like I don't want to be here.
The pahetic picture of the over sized vodka bottles
the faggy lip gloss and gay as fuck sparkling earring.
and...
OH AND FOR THE HATERS I NEVER HATE ON N E BODY BUT U CONTINUE ON HATING IS IT CAUSE I'M GETTING THE ATTENTION AND YOUR NOT?
dr feeldouche
NO IT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE AN EGO TISTICAL, SEMEN SWALLOWING, FAKE TAN OVER USING, LIP GLOSS SPORTING
FUCKWIT...WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?
# posted by : 9:41 PM
: 9:41 PM
Hey Kellybelly? It makes me feel cold inside too sometimes to be Italian after seeing canolis like THESE. Marone!
Johnny: So, babe, am I hot or what?
HC: What.
J: Yeah, I know it, babe... S'cuse me while I go fix my makeup. Lemme grab your ass before I go.
HC: Get the fuck away from me, you douchebag. You're not touching me.
J: Yeah, you're hot - but I'm hotter. Ya digggg?
---
Hey, I'd be happy to cut Staten Island loose and let it float down to Cuba, or South America, like Bugs Bunny did with Florida. I see no need for it amongst civilized society - such as it is...
HC: What.
J: Yeah, I know it, babe... S'cuse me while I go fix my makeup. Lemme grab your ass before I go.
HC: Get the fuck away from me, you douchebag. You're not touching me.
J: Yeah, you're hot - but I'm hotter. Ya digggg?
---
Hey, I'd be happy to cut Staten Island loose and let it float down to Cuba, or South America, like Bugs Bunny did with Florida. I see no need for it amongst civilized society - such as it is...
# posted by : 10:02 PM
: 10:02 PM
BvG, I can always count on you for a good metaphor (ditto to El Douchablo) and many of you make an impassioned case. But still, looking at his myspace page, I see a cry for help, not a HoS'er. (And Paul Harvey, the frolicking thing WAS Popping and Locking. Didn't you ever see Breakin' 2, Electric Boogaloo??) Yes, he may be a douchebag. But with the right diet and maybe some mild electroshock therapy, perhaps some Clockwork Orange action, he might just be able to achieve some degree of humanity.
By the way, to Spinnaker Chick and Jailergrrl, ladies, thanks for being compassionate in your disagreement with me. See? THAT is why it is nice to have ladies around. (Though, going by the numbers, "Vader, you retarded dumbass. What the hell are you talking about?" might have been a more appropriate response.)
By the way, to Spinnaker Chick and Jailergrrl, ladies, thanks for being compassionate in your disagreement with me. See? THAT is why it is nice to have ladies around. (Though, going by the numbers, "Vader, you retarded dumbass. What the hell are you talking about?" might have been a more appropriate response.)
Okay vader, riddle me this: if Johnny's so not a douchebag, how is it that he's gotten us all to forget about The Trainwreck already?
Huh? Huh? No small scrote feat that.
Huh? Huh? No small scrote feat that.
I live in Las Vegas, and if assclowns like this aren't in NYC, they're here being loud and moronic. Where the hell do these nozzles come from? Is no place safe? Next thing you know they'll be popping up in Topeka and Bismarck.
# posted by : 3:27 AM
: 3:27 AM
THIS IS THE REAL ARMANI ALEX .... AS MUCH AS YOU ALL WANT TO VISIT MY PAGE AND THINK I'M THIS DUCHE YOU ALL SEE YOUR WRONG I'M NOT LIKE THESE FAKE WANNABEES OUT THERE... STOP PRE-JUDGING ME IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME...IT'S WHATEVER,THIS SITE IS FOR LAUGHS... GO AHEAD LAUGH... BUT IN THE END WHO'S REALLY GOT ALL THE MONEY,ALL THE GIRLS,ALL THE EXPERIENCE,AND LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST...AGAIN LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT LET ME LIVE MINE AND YOU LIVE YOURS...GOOODBYTE
# posted by : 3:58 AM
: 3:58 AM
ahhhh it is indeed the good doctor that would like to face up to the Douche that spells it DUCHE.
The good Dr wonders if this the real ARMANI ALEX, if it is the good Dr would like to prescribe said DOUCHE a good dose of WAKE THE FUCK UP.
For the good Dr can see that you are an insecure and mentally challenged joke that thinks life revolves around money and girls, you say GO AHEAD LAUGH
and we do, if you could read SIR SCROTE you would see that most here laugh and laugh and laugh at YOU.
Perhaps the good Dr should retrieve his list for said Douchebag to read
the skull belt buckle (diamond encrusted?)
the cellphone hanging out of the pocket=WANKER
the hipster rip in the jeans
The scrote poses.
the girls that look uncomfortable for the photo op, fake smiles and some have looks like I don't want to be here.
The pathetic pictures of the over sized vodka bottles
the faggy lip gloss and gay as fuck sparkling earring.
Dr Feeldouche is a happily married 36 year old that does NOT understand types like you who have no clue as to what being a real person is.
Die in your scrote stench.
The good Dr wonders if this the real ARMANI ALEX, if it is the good Dr would like to prescribe said DOUCHE a good dose of WAKE THE FUCK UP.
For the good Dr can see that you are an insecure and mentally challenged joke that thinks life revolves around money and girls, you say GO AHEAD LAUGH
and we do, if you could read SIR SCROTE you would see that most here laugh and laugh and laugh at YOU.
Perhaps the good Dr should retrieve his list for said Douchebag to read
the skull belt buckle (diamond encrusted?)
the cellphone hanging out of the pocket=WANKER
the hipster rip in the jeans
The scrote poses.
the girls that look uncomfortable for the photo op, fake smiles and some have looks like I don't want to be here.
The pathetic pictures of the over sized vodka bottles
the faggy lip gloss and gay as fuck sparkling earring.
Dr Feeldouche is a happily married 36 year old that does NOT understand types like you who have no clue as to what being a real person is.
Die in your scrote stench.
# posted by : 5:12 AM
: 5:12 AM
Now, the kid coming on here and leaving a comment is just fantastic. "THIS IS THE REAL ARMANI ALEX." That line just slays me. As if there have been 50 other people on this site claiming to be this douchebag.
I feel like I need a douchey name too. Maybe POLO PAUL or HALLMARK HARVEY. All I can say is, that guy's MySpace page brings joy to my life, and a never ending source of laughter.
I feel like I need a douchey name too. Maybe POLO PAUL or HALLMARK HARVEY. All I can say is, that guy's MySpace page brings joy to my life, and a never ending source of laughter.
Somebody want to go over to pfah's place to make sure he hasn't killed himself upon going home and viewing JB's MySpace page? I'm a little worried. We haven't heard from him since he informed us of his fool -hearted plan to look at it in the sanctity of his own home.
And Vader we admire you for having a kind spirit that wants to cut this guy slack although the overwhelming majority of us want to make this guy pay for his crimes against humanity (or at least our sensibilities).
And Vader we admire you for having a kind spirit that wants to cut this guy slack although the overwhelming majority of us want to make this guy pay for his crimes against humanity (or at least our sensibilities).
THIS IS THE REAL PUMA PETE. When my friends, Larry Lamborgini, Nike Nikki, Alfi Alfani, and Nancy Nautica found out that there's an Alex Armani out there, we had to contact you. We'd love for you to come hang out with us at Club Dillards sometime. We can even get you your very own DSC pass (Douchey Scrote Choad). Oh yeah, AND LEARN SOME FUCKING GRAMMER, YOU OVER-PRIVILEGED, SPOILED, FAGGIE LITTLE PUSSY!
And, trust me, I AM laughing. I didn't need your permission to do so. It's whatever, Ya Digggggggg. "Goodbyte"
-Baggilo
And, trust me, I AM laughing. I didn't need your permission to do so. It's whatever, Ya Digggggggg. "Goodbyte"
-Baggilo
Armani Alex? You aren't a fake wannabe? What are you an authentic douche? Yes, yes you are. Seriously man, open a book, read the newspaper. By the way Armani exchange makes crap. If you want to truly live like the rich you wont be wearing clothes with logos on them, you see the way you dress is to make other people think you have money. the same way all poor people love logos.
# posted by : 9:08 AM
: 9:08 AM
Daniel must not know that most homosexual men have large followings of beautiful women, called fag hags or fruit flies. Get with it. Asshat...
# posted by : 9:23 AM
: 9:23 AM
There is something about generation that loves to be walking billboard. My question for Alex is this: are you getting paid or are you providing a huge corporation with advertising for free?
-iDouche
-iDouche
# posted by : 9:56 AM
: 9:56 AM
Ok, fine, fuckit. People who type in all caps with horrible spelling and grammar: huge irredeemable douchebags. I tried to defend ya, Alex, but ya had to go and let me down. GOOODBYTE to you too.
Not only is he not getting paid he also isnt providing the advertising for free. He actually is paying these companies to look like a walking billboard.
SkanderBag
SkanderBag
# posted by : 10:06 AM
: 10:06 AM
AA's space lacks some of the homoerotic flair of JP's long-lost Sensurround Experience.
These painfully overpriveleged infants, obsessed with having the right labels on everything from their belt buckles to their vodka, are apparently not as unique as a midwesterner like myself would have thought.
Where's a good plague when you need one?
These painfully overpriveleged infants, obsessed with having the right labels on everything from their belt buckles to their vodka, are apparently not as unique as a midwesterner like myself would have thought.
Where's a good plague when you need one?
# posted by : 10:14 AM
: 10:14 AM
He can't be that bad. I mean he's got what, like 23,000 friends? None of which can spell? Rhode Island, what the fu*k is wrong with you?
If Armani Alex is reading this:
Have you looked at your hair? Seriously have you looked at it?
You look ridiculous.
By the way Grey Goose is over marketed crap, I bet if you drink beer, it is Corona.
Have you looked at your hair? Seriously have you looked at it?
You look ridiculous.
By the way Grey Goose is over marketed crap, I bet if you drink beer, it is Corona.
# posted by : 10:53 AM
: 10:53 AM
What's with his scrawny little T-rex arms? I thought guidobags spent as much time in the gym as with gel and a hairdryer...
# posted by : 11:30 AM
: 11:30 AM
holy shit. this is ridiculous. Is it even possible this is real. does he know he looks like an oompa-loompa? Is is possible this kid is the upper-middle class offspring of some hard-working italian-americans, or did he sprout from the devil's ass?
# posted by : 12:08 PM
: 12:08 PM
I now realize the marketing genius of Armani Alex.
I want free shit too.
From now on, I am Baron Von Lamisil.
And by "from now on" I mean until you're done reading this.
I want free shit too.
From now on, I am Baron Von Lamisil.
And by "from now on" I mean until you're done reading this.
THIS IS THE REAL LUIS VUITTON, IT IS TRUE, MY FRIEND ALEX IS REALLY NOT A DUCHE. IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME YOU CAN ASK DEREK DIOR, GABRIEL GUCCI, OR PABLO PRADA.
# posted by : 1:17 PM
: 1:17 PM
Anon 9:08
Great point. These douchebags think because they buy crap in the mall its the real thing. Armani has 5 different lines (for men that is) and the AX is the cheap licensed junk. This is like buying a chevy and telling everyone you drive a Caddy.
-Bagwan Singh
Great point. These douchebags think because they buy crap in the mall its the real thing. Armani has 5 different lines (for men that is) and the AX is the cheap licensed junk. This is like buying a chevy and telling everyone you drive a Caddy.
-Bagwan Singh
# posted by : 2:06 PM
: 2:06 PM
Just Great! I was still in withdrawal from wut JP's dik did...now JB is my new armani addiction. I could no longer afford JP anyway, it's kind of like switching from pure Acapulan Coke to Crack.
This guy is like someone who read "How to be a douchebag on MySpace" manual. Scarface: check. Grey Goose: check. Sopranos: check. Asshole: check.
I much prefer Joey Porsche. Aramani Alex seems like he's trying too hard, and really doesn't believe he is a douchebag.
I much prefer Joey Porsche. Aramani Alex seems like he's trying too hard, and really doesn't believe he is a douchebag.
# posted by : 5:54 PM
: 5:54 PM
It doesn't matter how many hot girls this guy has on his myspace pics, his straightness is still in question. Just like his big brother/cousin JoeyPorsche...
# posted by : 10:28 PM
: 10:28 PM
I believe he has the potential of being straight, he has all the females all over him like white on rice but the hair cut is pretty gay but who knows maybe it's just what the ladies want i'm Italian sorry
# posted by : 11:48 PM
: 11:48 PM
anonymous 1:50p.m.
"This is Rick"
Classic. Kudos to you. If only we could find an Ashleigh link on Johnny Blaze's MySpace page...
"This is Rick"
Classic. Kudos to you. If only we could find an Ashleigh link on Johnny Blaze's MySpace page...
In Brooklyn, we kick the crap out of guys like this. He says he lives in NYC, Boston and Providence (which means he really only lives in Providence). This is an official invitation, Mr. Blaze, to visit Park Slope. I'll meet you on the corner of 6th Ave and Flatbush and it's on spikey. I want to eliminate orange people from this planet, beginning with you.
Its like i've entered the douche event horizon and crashed my spaceship on to an alien planet where douchebags rule.
GET YOUR GREASY PAWS OFF ME YOU FILTHY DOUCHE.
GET YOUR GREASY PAWS OFF ME YOU FILTHY DOUCHE.
# posted by : 6:54 AM
: 6:54 AM
Bagwan this is anon 908. Seriously it amazes me how these shmucks think they can look rich by wearing these overpriced poorly made mall labels. Does this moron think Armani exchange was designed by Armani?
I am not a label whore, but I know fine quality merchandise when i se it. I also know how to get it at bargain rates.
I am fully of the belief that Americans of many types are simply the dregs of their societies forced out because they were the trash.
I am not a label whore, but I know fine quality merchandise when i se it. I also know how to get it at bargain rates.
I am fully of the belief that Americans of many types are simply the dregs of their societies forced out because they were the trash.
# posted by : 8:49 AM
: 8:49 AM
Brooklyn ... LOL yes i'm from Providence I go to school in Boston and i'm from Long Island. Usually im in New York. Spikey lol?
# posted by : 3:16 PM
: 3:16 PM
This is fantastic...I have spent the last 20 minutes reading every post dedicated to this jewel of Americas youth, and have not stopped laughing once. Douche Vaders 180, All Time Classic! The post from the "Real Armani Alex", my God, man, how many must suffer until he realizes that trying to top the brain-trust that comments here is akin to overthrowing Communism with Apathy. Keep em coming...
# posted by : 9:55 AM
: 9:55 AM
He looks really creepy. and his arms are not proportional to his giant head, I don't know if its his hair thats huge or just his head. I don't find him attractive at all, i don't know how other females could! he makes me want to vomit.
ARMANI ALEX ANIT EVEN ITALIAN HES AN EMBARRASSMENT TO HIS OWN PPL SOMEONE SHOULD REMIND HIM THAT HES COLOMBIAN
# posted by : 10:56 AM
: 10:56 AM
i have to say that i am sadly, sadly disappointed to visit his page and see that he is taken.
good god! by whom!? poor girl!!
good god! by whom!? poor girl!!
# posted by : 6:43 PM
: 6:43 PM
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# posted by : 4:32 PM
: 4:32 PM << Home
