Wednesday, August 22, 2007

 

HCwDB of the Week: The Greaseheads


Grease heads. Grease heads.
Douchey Smooshey Grease Heads.
Grease heads. Grease heads.
Wash them off. Yuck.


Give it up to the Greaser Twins for taking what was a surprisingly close and tight vote. And by close and tight, I mean Jenny. Because... yeah, you don't need me to finish that one.

Supreme 'bagslayer darksock tosses out one of those time delayed Emo Phillips smackdowns with the following:

Gotta be Greaseheads, only because the guy on the left is named Lou Brickhater and the guy on the right is named Dick B. Shynen.Think about it and get back to me...

The very sad sad also makes the case that Grease is the word, and that word is douche:

Greaseheads take it for me. The very thought of their toxic spikes injecting poison in the lovely Ukrainian babe's brain makes my heart weep for what will become of her hopes and dreams in the new world. Just-got-out-of-bed mohawk greashead and his shiney purple tie with matching hankie and matching shiney grease face are enough to make me wonder how long it's been since I last saw someone wearing something from Structure. What, is he the MC of the Greasedouche Gala?

Yes, I believe he is indeed the MC of the Greasedouche Gala. Well done, semi-anonymous Sad.

But while the Greasers slipped out their win, second place was the S.O.D., who found much revulsion for his combo hott + douche-face. The erudite and 'bagalicious douche ellington brings the Zen in his breakdown before casting in with the SODomite:

If I'm truly to consider the boobie Yang to the douchie Yin (or is it the other way around?), The S.O.D just barely edges out Jenny and the Vanilla Icedouche, and blows away the Greaseheads. Why, you ask? The foundation of the Yin/Yang concept lies in pure balance, and the S.O.D has it in spades. Her near-perfect smile is offset by his "blue steel" pout. His cock hat, dog tags and "I'm trying too hard to be a Silverlake hipster" T-shirt are offset by two glorious mammaries that would have started wars in earlier times.

Well done, D.E. the cox agrees with the case for the S.O.D:

SOD gets my vote, as he looks to be about to spring forward and kiss the camera. Knees slightly bent, torso aimed forward, and literally too frightened to continue, should he pop out of the screen cover me with grease and cod-slobber! And his girl is the best of Bleeths, imho...

But Jenny found some love in spite of cohabitating with an arthritic unemployed housepainter. As eric estradouche lays it down for white-boys doing gang signs:

Tough call between SOD and Carl. I want Randy "the Macho Man" Savage to walk into the frame and rip SOD's kissy lips off, but the sheer douchiosity of Carl waring his 5 foot long neck chain and throwing up a gang sign when he is whiter then hottie boob flesh all while displaying a smirk that I wish I could see Jenny slap off his face makes him this week's winner.

But bagglio ordonez takes a baseball bat to the Greasers for the Weekly Victory:

The Greeseheads on the other-hand... everytime I seen them I just imagine them pouring vats of Salon Selectives gel and hairspray on their mops in order to scupt the perfect douche-spikes for their big night on the town. Somebody in the bar get a mop... people are dancing here and they're going to hurt themselves.

Greeseheads get my vote.


And so we put on toxic gloves and gingerly raise their two scrotey jerseys to the rafters. For oil slicks proved triumphant, and their hottie boils all of our pancakes and fries our eggs.

Excellent work as always in the comments threads, as always. And, as always, it's time for a celebratory bowl of Cocoa Puffs.

Comments:
I still can't believe how slimy they are.

-Jim
 
Cobgrats grease-bags.
 
I think it's important to note that these guys are so greasy they display the greasy cock and balls emblem on their entire face not just in the forehead. look closely at the ball cheeks on either side and the phallic grease mark on the foreheads. these two douches have set a new bar when it comes to grease.
 
S.O.D was robbed........ He was backing that thing up. I'm guessing it was the dickboobs that pushed the Greaseheads over the top.
 
These guys deserved to win...and Jenny's going to need a bath to wash the grease off.
 
Cue Frankie Valli....

"Douche is the word, is the word that you heard
It's got groove it's got meaning
Douche is the time, is the place is the motion
Douche is the way we are feeling"

Question to the 'bag on the left....when did shaping your head like a wigwam become...well... like some thing you think you should do?

What can I cay about the "bag on the right though....the Alfalfa meets Jackson Pollock hairdo....the catchlight greasiness of a late night diner spatula.....the carefully selected splash of color to fully capture the height of doucheosity he has strived to achieve. Kudos my douche....kudos.
 
I will take two douchebags, extra grease and a large bromo-seltzer.
 
I'm the douchebag on the left! Thank you for this award! I am sure you are all total winners and probably sleep with way hotter girls, so congratulations on being such a badass!
 
yup I do, and all without the aid of transmission oil.
 
Sure you do...must be fun being totally anonymous so you can claim anything you want without having to prove anything. Also, before you point it out, I am aware that my blogname on here is anonymous as well.
 
douchebag on the left: i beg of you, practice what you preach and prove that you are in fact the douchebag on the left. i suggest posting a link to your glitter-bedecked myspace profile page, wherein we might find more photos of yourself and your pals sporting even more hilariously misguided hairstyles. i'll start a scrapbook.

PROTIP: chances are excellent that the girl in that photo either doesn't know you or really thinks you're a douchebag, secretly or otherwise.
 
You can reach the douchebag on the left for direct comments via a message board, www.xmike.com

look for the name:

Howiefeltersnatch

True story!
 
the douchebag on the left shapes his hair with summer eves. true story
 
lol, somebody ratted out Howie.
 
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=1568853
 
I vote these 2 for the month winning bags of douche (bulk size). They win simply by the amount of grease on their combined foreheads. But to add to the beautiful scenery, the spikey hair and the ridiculous hand signals...ridiculous. Is he calling for his goofy douche-scrotus buddies?
 
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