Somewhere in the world, the douche has devolved into grabbing the breast while headlocking. Probably learned it from the rest of his chimpanzee troop.
 

Damn, you bag hand. Damn you straight to choad-based hell!

Sweet sleeveless shirt, though.
 

I ask you, gentle commentators, a question. Have we, in fact, hitherto ignored one of the most glaringly obvious factors of inherent douchitude? Mainly, the fact that these splendiferous beasts are all giant fucking camera whores? I can literally count on one hand the number of photographs I have either allowed myself to, or been requested to, appear in. And I go out drinking. A lot. With girls, even. They pose and pose, and snap hilarious vignettes of each other. Never once have I uttered "Oh, please, get one of me and my girl du jour".

I submit that the mere act of allowing oneself to be the frequent target of such photos is, in itself, a prequalifier for douchitude.
 

Looks like David Wright and Paul LoDuca actually did have a child together!

Dave LoDuca here should be ashamed at his half-assed Pumpy-style boob-grab. How about covering up half of the ginormous forehead on this defected fembot?

- Ryan Seadouche
 

The tit grab is a legit douche move. I am sure he gave the rock on right after this was taken.
 

I wanna push play on this photo like it's a youtube video, because I'm guessing hottie here's about to flip her friend's douchebag husband over her shoulder.
 

"BACK OFF, COPPERS, OR THE NIPPLE GETS IT!"

Did he spray on that "hair"?

I'd make a comment about her pearl necklace but it's just too easy, so instead I'll say: "Mr. Peanut called, he wants the shape of his head back".
 

His finger has a ring on it, hers doesnt.

This is Douche blackmail material right here!

Nice armband candy ass.
 

It's the Spanish Invasion! It looks like John Secada and Shakira. And Johnny is a little worried about the placement of his hand on an actual boobie!
 

BLASPHEMY!!! Do not compare that choad with David Wright!!!! He looks like he has a mental disability. Note the clueless look in his eyes.
 

That's not a pearl necklack, Darksock, that's a textured boob lasso (ribbed for her pleasure). Looks like he wrangled the head instead of the boob, tho (throw it back).
And by the way, dude: never, EVER be ashamed of taking the easy jokes. I like my jokes like I like my women...with huge boobs. Sorry for mixing metaphors there, but you get the point. Of course, the Mr. Peanut line WAS clutch.
 

Sorry Dita, I'm a fan of the best sports organization in the entire world - the 26 time World Champion New York Yankees!

- Ryan Seadouche
 

that's not a forehead thats a five head.

She needs some bangs

-Lotd
 

Dude's got a wedding ring on, girl doesn't - does that strike anyone else as weird?
 

Is it just me, or did anyone else notice that one breast looks to be missing completely?
 

The good Dr feels that...

Dear HCWB,

I'm not sure I can do this site anymore, It makes me so upset, a World full of idiotic, greasy douche wankstains and pathetic, look at me and my horrible fake orange tan, fake tits and mangy stinkbox...is not a World I ever want to be a part of, when you see this in real life...it makes you sick

I want to go back to the 80's.
 

Hang in there, Dr.....don't forget, the 80's brought us Wang Chung, Kajagoogoo, The Culture Club, AIDS, the rise of boy bands (and in the case of Micheal Jackson, boy fuckers), New Age Music and not least of all THE DASTARDLY AND UNPROVOKED BOMBING OF PEARL HARBOR BY THE GERMANS. DEATH TO THE KAISER; DIE, YOU ONE-HORNED DEVIL YOU!

Hey are you really a Doctor? Cuz I need a refill real bad on anything ending in -eine, -tab , -contin or -vagina.
 

i admit that i am totally absolutely disgusted with this creature. he somehow manages to give off that i'd sleep with 17 year old girl vibe
 

ahh... the patented headlock/tune in tokyo maneuver. Somebody tell Joe Rogan's lil brother that he's out past his curfew.
 

bah! we've had enough crustaceans.
 

The 'plain' boob-lock has been demoted to mere trailerpark status, ever since Ozzy Osbourne launched his own version into uber-douchery using his daughter's c-cups as the trampoline.

To now reinstate a boob-lock into serious douchery would require a combo almost unthinkable by an amateur douchebag: Groping his own daughter on camera while she was under 10 (in years).

Such Olympic Douchery has raised the bar to exclude mere inbreeds.
 

I went to high school with this chick. Lol. I was drunk as hell and this was the first pic. that came up when I was looking at this site. Anyways, I'm totally freaking jealous of this guy, I don't care what you people have to say about this crazy looking "crustatean" except he did something right to deserve such an awsome chick. He is lucky as hell!!! I'll get a chick like her one day when I have a Lambo parked in my driveway!!! BTW she is nice as hell, she picked such a d-bag cuz she was just really misunderstood. Maybe he was misunderstood also. I really gotta stop preaching, and stop drinking, lol!!!
 

Is he holding her up? Is the the pre date rape picture? How many roofies do you think he slipped into her drink?