Wednesday, September 26, 2007
The Douchewank
What has two fingers, looks like Kevin Dillon mated with Quentin Tarantino, and smells like a raging pile of douchewank?
This guy.
Blinded in a freakish kiln explosion because he was making her a pot? Maybe. But the sunglasses and douche-lips are enough. He is d-wank.
Not that I'm into the model/replicant look on my hotties. I prefer them real. Or at least realistic.
But he is choad. And so we mock his sunglasses at night and Pee Wee Herman bowtie.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 10:35 AM 
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douchewank for sure. that shirt he's wearing is a cheap piece of shit. it looks like he stole it from a salvation army bin.
she's got a crying game vibe about her. check the manhands.
she's got a crying game vibe about her. check the manhands.
Good eye, pfah. I was thinking the same thing.
!!!1982 alert!!!
"If you're blue
And you don't know where to got to,
Why don't you face the awful truth:
Puttin' on the Douche."
!!!1982 alert!!!
"If you're blue
And you don't know where to got to,
Why don't you face the awful truth:
Puttin' on the Douche."
she: I'm sorry, I didn't catch the name.
he: (with juicy-mouthed Scottish brogue) Douche, Shameless Douche.
he: (with juicy-mouthed Scottish brogue) Douche, Shameless Douche.
Clementine: I'll see your 1982, and raise you a 1983, ZZ Top-style!
Cheap shirt (cheap shirt)
Douche shoes (douche shoes)
And I don't know where I am douchin' to.
Cheap suit (cheap suit)
Peewee tie (Peewee tie)
I don't need a reason why.
They come runnin' just as fast as they can.
'Cuz every shemale's crazy bout a douche-dressed man.
Cheap shirt (cheap shirt)
Douche shoes (douche shoes)
And I don't know where I am douchin' to.
Cheap suit (cheap suit)
Peewee tie (Peewee tie)
I don't need a reason why.
They come runnin' just as fast as they can.
'Cuz every shemale's crazy bout a douche-dressed man.
# posted by 
: 11:08 AM
: 11:08 AM
::KENNY LOGGINS ALERT::
Tonight I gotta be a
(Chorus)
Douche. A big douche.
Kick off my Gucci shoes.
Please, Sara.
You look like Irene Cara.
Jack, you're whack.
C'mon let's do some crack.
Lose your blues...
Everybody be a big douche!
Tonight I gotta be a
(Chorus)
Douche. A big douche.
Kick off my Gucci shoes.
Please, Sara.
You look like Irene Cara.
Jack, you're whack.
C'mon let's do some crack.
Lose your blues...
Everybody be a big douche!
Douche the city, night it a wire,
Come in my subway, my pee is afire.
do-d'dodo-d'dodo-d'dodo-do-dooo
Tranny you want me, give me a sign,
I'll fill you up with my inches: all five
do-d'dodo-d'dodo-d'dodo-do-dooo
Come in my subway, my pee is afire.
do-d'dodo-d'dodo-d'dodo-do-dooo
Tranny you want me, give me a sign,
I'll fill you up with my inches: all five
do-d'dodo-d'dodo-d'dodo-do-dooo
Douche the city, night it a wire,
Come in my subway, my pee is afire.
do-d'dodo-d'dodo-d'dodo-do-dooo
Tranny you want me, give me a sign,
I'll fill you up with my inches: all five
do-d'dodo-d'dodo-d'dodo-do-dooo
Come in my subway, my pee is afire.
do-d'dodo-d'dodo-d'dodo-do-dooo
Tranny you want me, give me a sign,
I'll fill you up with my inches: all five
do-d'dodo-d'dodo-d'dodo-do-dooo
Dear Jersey Hottie
Joan Cusack just called and she wants her look back. You know, the one she had in the movie Working Girl back in '88, complete with racing stripe mascara and hair piled out of the shot.
Zinfandouche
Joan Cusack just called and she wants her look back. You know, the one she had in the movie Working Girl back in '88, complete with racing stripe mascara and hair piled out of the shot.
Zinfandouche
# posted by : 11:20 AM
: 11:20 AM
This is why you should never apply mascara during doggy style.
Look at his pencil neck fail to fill out that collar. Who did he steal that shirt from, Joe Viterelli? He looks like Dana Carvey's Turtleman character from "The Master of Disguise".
Yeah, I watched it. Bite me.
Look at his pencil neck fail to fill out that collar. Who did he steal that shirt from, Joe Viterelli? He looks like Dana Carvey's Turtleman character from "The Master of Disguise".
Yeah, I watched it. Bite me.
I'm torn....
Is he a Taco-bag or a Falco-bag?
Either way, he rides the short bus to the clubs.
Is he a Taco-bag or a Falco-bag?
Either way, he rides the short bus to the clubs.
# posted by : 11:37 AM
: 11:37 AM
I wonder how many times that evening somebody asked him where the Corey Haim look-alike contest was.
# posted by : 11:37 AM
: 11:37 AM
John Cusack and Tranny Trick need to get a room immediately. Or, a massive ketamine download and leave them curbside.
-Crow
-Crow
# posted by : 12:00 PM
: 12:00 PM
nono, y'all 80's folks got it all wrong. This pick is ALL Huey Lewis.
and the News.
Dont need money,
Dont need fame,
Dont need a credit card
to ride this tranny
He might be a she
she might be a he
you might just wake up with lice..
THAT'S THE POWER OF DOUCHE!
and the News.
Dont need money,
Dont need fame,
Dont need a credit card
to ride this tranny
He might be a she
she might be a he
you might just wake up with lice..
THAT'S THE POWER OF DOUCHE!
They look like they're dressed up for a Weird Science costume party. He would be Roberty Downey, and the girl would be that blonde who I'm too lazy to find the name of.
# posted by : 1:43 PM
: 1:43 PM
First, compliments to Spinnaker Chick for the new avatar.
Second, it's quite obvious it's a costume party and they went as Siegfried and Roy. Glad to see the bite marks have healed nicely.
Second, it's quite obvious it's a costume party and they went as Siegfried and Roy. Glad to see the bite marks have healed nicely.
Give the douchewank a break. He just got off work tearing tickets at the movies.
# posted by : 6:20 PM
: 6:20 PM
Okay. Bryan Ferry, 1985.
God, Stop the Douche
Pumpy says that MRAAGGGH is all that matters
Doesn't care douchebaggery is a sin
Groping up the bleeths, all crunk and scabby
His eensy-beensy head can't hold a thing
God, stop, God stop the douche.
God, stop, God stop the douche.
Fish Slap says orange is all that matters
Beauty ain't no deeper than his skin
Living for his mirror - lips and lashes
Will he ever find his shade again
God, stop, God stop the douche.
God, stop, God stop the douche.
Gator says only v-neck sweaters
Don´t know why he's in love with this guy
Choadwanks in the dark come together
I gotta keep on moving or I'll die.
God, Stop the Douche
Pumpy says that MRAAGGGH is all that matters
Doesn't care douchebaggery is a sin
Groping up the bleeths, all crunk and scabby
His eensy-beensy head can't hold a thing
God, stop, God stop the douche.
God, stop, God stop the douche.
Fish Slap says orange is all that matters
Beauty ain't no deeper than his skin
Living for his mirror - lips and lashes
Will he ever find his shade again
God, stop, God stop the douche.
God, stop, God stop the douche.
Gator says only v-neck sweaters
Don´t know why he's in love with this guy
Choadwanks in the dark come together
I gotta keep on moving or I'll die.
# posted by : 7:44 PM
: 7:44 PM
Duh-duh-duh-don't turn around (wuh-ah-ohhhh...)
Douche Kommissar's in town (what-a-scroooote)
Can't see his eyes, and you know why
Shades guard against stray fingers in flight (Look out, Daryl Han-nah-nah!)
Although, looking at her, maybe I should have adapted a Grace Jones song? "Slave to the Bleeth'ums", perhaps?
Douche Kommissar's in town (what-a-scroooote)
Can't see his eyes, and you know why
Shades guard against stray fingers in flight (Look out, Daryl Han-nah-nah!)
Although, looking at her, maybe I should have adapted a Grace Jones song? "Slave to the Bleeth'ums", perhaps?
# posted by : 2:14 AM
: 2:14 AM
Nice one Il Choadrino. Did you know that yesterday when you were honoring Brian Ferry it was his 62nd birthday? No wonder he looked old back when he was semi-popular.
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