Tuesday, September 04, 2007

 

The Gator


Since we're going with an orange theme today, meet The Gator.

Orange like Gatorade.

Skin leathery like an alligator.

The Gator's shiny schlong-n-balls mark of the 'bag on his forehead confirms what should already be patently obvious.

We are in the presence of uber-douche.

The Gator has no need for hand gestures or bling. No 10 Degree Hat Tilt. No popped collar.

He is a tidal wave of sheer douche psyche. His eyes summon the spirits of global choadbaggery. His greased Khan-like chest overacts like a douched out Shatner.

Behold! The power of scrote.

MILF may or may not be preggers, which makes it awkward for me to suggest my desire to dry hump her feather duster she bought on the Home Shopping Network with three easy payments of $19.95.

Comments:
C'mon jackass...smile for the camera.

No? I guess roid-rage has gripped this 'bags demeanor the same way the 'roids have gripped his pecs.
 
what's he staring at?!? the photographer's genetalia?

he looks as if he's made of some kind of wax or resin material. and hair gel.

and that shirt he's wearing is totally rediculous.
 
I'm hoping this is a scene from Little Shop of Horrors II and the plants behind them are crouching for the attack. They should spare the unborn, tho.
 
Uber-douche is obviously distracted by something puzzling on the floor behind the camera.

Is it a little girl practicing those ever impossible ABC's?

Is it a kid with down syndrome going over some flash cards with pictures of something he rode to school for 3 years before failing out?

Could it be times tables?

Something confuses the Gator and it is making him cranky.
 
Just the thought of that flaming freak reproducing makes my stomach churn like goat's milk on a hot day in Mexico.

Hey, Dita Von - I love you too!
 
He's pissed.

And he should be. Now that she's knocked up, her boobs are bigger than his.
 
Nothing like a little UV-A,B, and HGH cocktail to help the skin's oil secretion efficiency rate. You can see hottie's fingerprints on his shirt. Her fingers actually squeegeed the oils from his shirt.

This guys appears to shave the whole carcass. His arms look preternaturally bare.

Pregnant or not, I don't care for the severe pull back of the hair on hottie and she's wearing far too much round and rocky jewlery. Save it for the awards dinners, babe.

Has anyone else taken a peek at MJs September calendar photo? Damn. Puts "evil" in the best of contexts.
 
Wow. He looks like he is about to "hulk out." His chest is even oily... ew. Probably the same oil they use to keep the stripper poles lubed. I see man-nipples.

Pumpy could still kick this guy's ass.
 
Does this douche know that the thing the person is pointing at him won't actually harm him?
 
Ahhhh. I love Vegas in the summertime. It brings the scroads out in droves.

As for the chick, she's not pregnant, she's wearing one of those fashion abominations known as the "empire waist" sure to make every female look as though she's five months along. I still don't understand the phenomenon or why it sticks around in clothing stores. I don't want to look like I'm pregnant - even when I am.
 
Thats the biggest carrot i've ever seen.

His skin looks like the apolstry on my old 83 Camaro.

Not to mention that the 'sign of the bag' on that guy's forehead rivals Glinty's in pure sheen and legibility.

The scrote is strong with this one.

~Bagglio Ordonez~
 
This poor chick is carrying his red face gorilla seed?

The poor kid is doomed to look like this:

http://www.geocities.com/CapeCanaveral/Hangar/5047/red-face.jpg
 
You guys are killing me today. Douchebag out, i just spit my coffee onto my computer screen (but you cannot tell because all of the orange-shaded people already on there).
 
Upholstery.
 
Some observations:

1) Gator's subtle use of the pinky ring as an intimidation device in no way suggests that he is compensating his 2-inch tool.

2) Two stay-at-home moms of the older persuasion, going out to questionable back-yard brouhahas in ripped cut-off jean shorts and sheer black stockings, all while flirting demurely with be-greased Manimals and wearing stacks of costume jewelry, means one thing in my book: While the hubby's away, the douchebags get play.
 
wait a minute, what's that on the right? a second identical NSHC?
And what is wrong with his "hair"?
 
I'll never look at a bottle of orange Gatorade the same way again...
 
ughhhh!
 
That's the best cleavite I've seen yet. On a man.
 
Isn't this the same guy that Russell Crowe had to fight in the scene with the tigers in "Gladiator"? Scary...

Ceasar gives the thumbs down.
 
Good call clementine. I would want to motor-boat this guy, if I did not think I would wake up with some herpes/acne infection.
 
He looks like an oiled mannequin that is about to fall forward if not for her hand.

Nice plunging neckline. Okay, douche, we get it. You work out obsessively and you want everyone to see your pecs. Well, I masturbate excessively but I don't walk around everywhere with my schlong hanging out.

Okay, that's not totally true I guess...
 
he's got the illuminati pyramid on his forehead. im thinking he some sort of robotic prototype designed by skull and bones...perhaps he's the muscle behind political upheavals overseas
 
Great stuff all around ladies and gents. I barely could make it to the bottom of the comments without laughing my nutsack off. It almost came off.

Looks like this guy just went Super Sajin. Goku the Gator!

-Honus Bagner
 
http://themes.belchfire.net/screenshots/Goku_Super-Saiya.jpg

-Honus Bagner
 
HAHA Darksock. Classic.

The excessive working out and tanning means he is self conscious about his body and what people think about him....and that he is one mega-douche. I bet his instead of the Animal Pack multivitamin, this clown takes the Douche Pack super stack of 80 pills, all full of douche, in powder form for easy digestion.
 
I'm not a big fan of the frequent posts claiming photoshop alterations, especially because they're invariably incorrect. And I'm not about to make such a spurious claim with this photo either.

I will however point out that his absurd monkey head looks like it was cut out and taped on his body. Not photoshop, just devolution!
 
Holy crap, I've never seen a head that is the exact shape of a football - other than Stewie of course - even his odd hair style adds to the shape.

I really want to attempt a 63 yarder on his face.

Frodo Douchebaggins
 
I showed this picture to my 2 year old son and he cried himself to sleep. Thanks Gator.
I have a strong hunch that these two were kicked out of the jacuzzi by security the night this was taken.

Doucha the Explorer
 
After the Eurythmics broke up, Annie Lennox went through a MAJOR mental breakdown; she had a sex change operation, bleached her hair blonde, and started taking steroids. She's now "Anne the Man!" WOOOOOOOOO.
 
Wow. Normally, I would dismissively say she's probably a very nice person, but she has literally left fingerprints on the humongous orange molded-plastic turd, so that means she's probably not very nice.

And I hate him, regardless of how H- or non-H his C might be. He might work out approximately five hours more per day than me, but I've just got to believe that my righteous loathing for this fucking waste of space and protein powder could deliver my fist right through his exoskeleton to unplug his tiny little heart.
 
Taylor Negron is in deep shit once Carrot Top finds out he stole his HGH.
 
Do you have giant orange pecs, and an over-priced watch you want to show off???

Well then we have the shirt for you...

The only thing this shirt doesn't show off is his ego. no. wait. i mean his tiny penis.
 
I think McPumpySneer has felched too many protein syrums out of his work out buddies' cornholes. His sper
 
Mistress Julie is correct. The tight-lipped, shiny-faced chick with the Daisy Dukes (is she wearing hose?) is wearing the latest prank pulled by fashionistas on the more gullible.

So is her schlorthead companion.
 
He's wondering how the photographer would taste blended with a raw egg.
 
@ mistress julie
As for the chick, she's not pregnant, she's wearing one of those fashion abominations known as the "empire waist" sure to make every female look as though she's five months along.

Funny story. Absolutely true.

Years ago, my girlfriend at the time and I decided to go for some Greek food. I pick her up and she's wearing an empire waist number in burgundy. It was new. She asked me how I liked it. Having known her as long as I had, I told her it couldn't possibly be the look she'd been going for, it made her look five months pregnant and that she should seriously consider changing. In the car, she barely spoke to me.

We get to the restaurant. The host sees her, literally throws up his arms in some Hellenic fit of picque, asks when she's due, rubs her stomach for luck and then gives us the best table in the house while every other patron in the place looked on and mouthed "congratulations."

We got back to her place and I helped her set fire to the dress.

True story.
 
one of my old girlfriends also used to rock those. horrible.
 
This Douche is ready to Explode !!
 
pumped up Michael Eisner gonna take back Disney....

the douchess of kunt
 
The Gator's genetic contribution will leave his children confined to a life of bad carnival sideshows.
 
Didn't anyone notice the slim little forearms and girly hands he has? I'll bet he gets his nails done!!!
I've been in Filipino martial arts for 26 years (teaching for 18) and can spot a pretty boy narcissist from 5 miles away...
All pecs and biceps with pretty little hands...

Sorry for getting so riled up. These choads make me want to heave.
 
He looks like a very disturbing cross between Zoolander's "Magnum" and Mugatu.

Baron - absolutely hilarious anecdote.
 
cant stop laughing, hands down, hall of scrote inductee
 
Oh yes, H.o.s. for sure!
 
At first, I was going to give you a +1, Darksock, but then I thought, "Hey, is it even possible to masturbate 'excessively'?" How do you define that? Where's the line between healthy and excessive?
 
Oh, yeah, what's with Angry McStrain? Serious constipation? Quick, someone get him a glass of Metamucil...
 
I can't stop screaming!

-The Arch Douche
 
the gator is cold-blooded, he needs to be in the sun. give him a break.
 
umm..this guy is not even American--how can he be gator?
 
Was he in Zoolander? Because, he's definately mastered "the look."
 
"Gator" Ha Ha! I have read through all your comments and whilst i do realise that in this day and age people do get very "JEALOUS" of success,hard work and whom actually enjoy spending the rewards that come with it. You only live once! Oh and before any of you think i am one of his "Hot Chicks" from the pictures on your forum i am happy to state not! I am not his mother either,just someone who has actually met him and he is a very down to earth, humble, kind and very generous guy who has given more to charity than the pennies I am sure you have not dropped in the shaking charity tins. Get a life guys.... people who have come from nothin and made a success of their lives and not been handed it on a plate deserve to enjoy it dont you think.......Dont read a book by its cover!
 
Okay... I don't know if anyone can see it but "MILF" looks like this is the last picture she is going to be in and unfortunitly it with this slimy lizard... She's starting to cry.
 
Oh and P.S.
Mitch Meats.... I think I like you. You crack me up every-f@!#ing-time!!
 
Dear Gator supporter, while you are busy 'reading a book by it's cover,' I'll be 'judging' douche bags like your pal by their cover. Or their desire to dress like someone who still lives in mom's suburban basement. Hey Gator, try a collar it may not kill you!
 
I Luv the gator he makes me fell chills like a bad sun burn
 
barbie's ken pumped with roids = the GAYtor
 
http://www.myspace.com/scottalexander_no1

THE GUY TAKES HGH TWICE TO THREE TIMES A DAY. HIS THINK IS GOING TO FALL OFF.
 
he farted
 
Oft mistaken for having a cock-and-balls on his forehead, Gator sports burn-in from an unheeded "Radiation Warning" sign.
 
Douche Nukem.
 
I saw this guy on tv, it was one of those newsy ones like horizon or panorama or something, it was about people being rich or inflation or house prices or something ANYWAY the thing I do remember is that he claimed to have #1 TATTOOED ON HIS COCK

and y'know what? I believe him, but it's probably a very small font
 
Can someone please...please...please go out and get this turd sack a personality?
 
"Nice sweater that come in a vneck" -40 year old virgin
Im not just amazed that he would wear that shirt im pissed that someone thought it was a good idea to make a shirt like that for a guy!!! The designer should be shot as well!! what a waist of oxygen
 
is it possible that this guy is flexing in every single picture? i think we all know the answer
 
Is he doing the Blue Steel look from Zoolander???
 
He's the latest prototype to roll off the Sky-Net assembly line: Terminator model db-101
 
It get's better - Channel 4 in the UK did a documentary about this guy. He's super-rich, has an entourage of hangers-on, has hair implants to cover his bald spot, and has bought an entire town. Yes, a whole town. In Bulgaria.
 
What's up with the aweful tan...buncha douchbags!
 
If I were to encounter this chode, there'd be two hits--me hittin' him and him hittin' the floor. Makes me sick just to look at this exact definition of a horse's anus.
 
with skin like hagahyde...they both deserve each other....it's just a shame that the roids didn't destroy his ability to breed.
the kids has no chance....he's screwed thanks to the d-bag daddy and d-bag loving mom.
 
What a fucking cock muncher! People like that should have their heads shaved and fucked in the ass with a broom stick!!!
 
This cock knocker couldn't be more self absorbed if he were made of equal parts sponge and water.
 
Seriously. Did this guy attack a male figure skater and take his shirt?!
 
I am the Douchinator - say it with the Arnold Terminator accent.
 
He looks as if he's about to turbo-fart in order to take off and go airborne with this chic, and off he will go to his special (I betchya mum on this) Quegmeyer'esque loooove mension!

He is: Gatorman! What a mare man... night mare man that is lol
 
This is über douche "Scott Alexander" he is from manchester in the UK. I know a girl who went out with him about 2 years ago and , she said he had a botched penis enlargement, lumpy with bad scarring.

She doesn't know how small it was before, but says he is only 5 inches max. What a joke. Needle dick. LOL
 
In the UK he is called "Frog" because he is so orange.

Doa search for:

+frog +"Scott Alexander"
 
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