Monday, September 24, 2007
HCwDB of the Week
To celebrate the joy that is the Dunkin' Donut, I'm dedicating this week's Weekly to the creamy honey glazed goodness of the greatest East Coast donut chain this side of Winchells.
Sure, the Krispy Kreme fans have their upscale high rent classy 'nuts. But the true hero of the working man is the Dunkin'. With crackified coffee and surly high school counter employee, nothing quite says "New England Repressed WASP Dysfunction" quite like the Dunkin' Donut experience.
And no, this isn't a sponsored ad. I just loves me the D.D. Living in L.A. has its shortcomings sometimes.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: The 'Bag Islanders
Don't understimate the sneaking gut-punch pain of this perfect curvy schooner and Miller Lite Fratchoad.
At first it seems a relatively benign hottie/douchey coupling.
She's adorable. He's annoying. But there's nothing too nauseating about the combo.
At first.
But then you notice it. Like a chocolate frosted donut, its afterburps lingering in your esophagus. Long after your initial consumption.
As we've learned in the past six months, the sailboat is the new Long Island. The place where pudgy doughboys score hotties simply by their proximity to water and an expensive boat.
What puts the 'Bag Island into the finals is the look on Grimace's face. His winking nod to his buddy. Ignoring the hott in favor of the "We rock!" gesture.
And the two Island choads in the back engaging in intensive debate about the merits of "The Hills" versus "The Real World" don't hurt neither.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Dante's Assferno
There's an utter genius to this satanic otherworldly swirl of unholy monstrosity.
It is arousing, sickening, and makes me hungry for a pop tart.
But there's also the vaguely "porny" drawback.
As with any great HCwDB combo, what we look for is the amateur. The clueless choad unawares of the hott he doesn't deserve. The authentic that renders the curvy/hairy combo so intoxicatingly infuriating you want to splice your eyes with an egg cutter.
But this boat pic appears "pro." Can the zombified soulless trolls truly compete on the hottie/douchey rage factor?
To answer this question, I can only say ass.
Ass.
Lovely, lovely ass.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Warthog
There's something ethereally and otherworldly captivating about this pic. Maybe it's The Warthog's bizarre shade of orange.
Maybe it's the sweet Dutch Girl Hotties, one of whom has her finger in the dyke.
And yes, I just made the worst joke ever.
But putting aside the lameness of that absolutely embarrassing and shameful pun, there's something incoherent and wrong about this pic that I couldn't stop staring at.
The middle cutie is Reese Witherspoon club tramp sexy. And the Warthog's "Kill" t-shirt and douche-face are enough to up anyone's blood pressure before their morning coffee.
Is it enough to take out the Assferno? Or the 'Bag Islanders?
That, my friends, is up to you.
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
Sure, the Krispy Kreme fans have their upscale high rent classy 'nuts. But the true hero of the working man is the Dunkin'. With crackified coffee and surly high school counter employee, nothing quite says "New England Repressed WASP Dysfunction" quite like the Dunkin' Donut experience.
And no, this isn't a sponsored ad. I just loves me the D.D. Living in L.A. has its shortcomings sometimes.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: The 'Bag Islanders
Don't understimate the sneaking gut-punch pain of this perfect curvy schooner and Miller Lite Fratchoad.
At first it seems a relatively benign hottie/douchey coupling.
She's adorable. He's annoying. But there's nothing too nauseating about the combo.
At first.
But then you notice it. Like a chocolate frosted donut, its afterburps lingering in your esophagus. Long after your initial consumption.
As we've learned in the past six months, the sailboat is the new Long Island. The place where pudgy doughboys score hotties simply by their proximity to water and an expensive boat.
What puts the 'Bag Island into the finals is the look on Grimace's face. His winking nod to his buddy. Ignoring the hott in favor of the "We rock!" gesture.
And the two Island choads in the back engaging in intensive debate about the merits of "The Hills" versus "The Real World" don't hurt neither.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: Dante's Assferno
There's an utter genius to this satanic otherworldly swirl of unholy monstrosity.It is arousing, sickening, and makes me hungry for a pop tart.
But there's also the vaguely "porny" drawback.
As with any great HCwDB combo, what we look for is the amateur. The clueless choad unawares of the hott he doesn't deserve. The authentic that renders the curvy/hairy combo so intoxicatingly infuriating you want to splice your eyes with an egg cutter.
But this boat pic appears "pro." Can the zombified soulless trolls truly compete on the hottie/douchey rage factor?
To answer this question, I can only say ass.
Ass.
Lovely, lovely ass.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Warthog
There's something ethereally and otherworldly captivating about this pic. Maybe it's The Warthog's bizarre shade of orange.
Maybe it's the sweet Dutch Girl Hotties, one of whom has her finger in the dyke.
And yes, I just made the worst joke ever.
But putting aside the lameness of that absolutely embarrassing and shameful pun, there's something incoherent and wrong about this pic that I couldn't stop staring at.
The middle cutie is Reese Witherspoon club tramp sexy. And the Warthog's "Kill" t-shirt and douche-face are enough to up anyone's blood pressure before their morning coffee.
Is it enough to take out the Assferno? Or the 'Bag Islanders?
That, my friends, is up to you.
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 7:16 AM 
Comments:
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Dante's Assferno because it's just like watching bad porn: hot chicks and revolting douches in the same screen shot. Yuck. I don't need to see faces, just close ups here please. And by close ups, I mean asses.
A very vomitus way to start my Monday.
A very vomitus way to start my Monday.
I've gotta DQ the assferno. Mostly because I don't ever want to see this picture ever ever again. It's too much for one man to take.
I have to go with the Warthog. He looks vaguely like a TMNT villain. And that orange is simply too grotesque to be denied.
I have to go with the Warthog. He looks vaguely like a TMNT villain. And that orange is simply too grotesque to be denied.
Good call on TMNT. The Warthog look just like Bebop, that villian of villians. And the Warthog truly is a comic-book-character-like villian for snagging Dutch Girl. I'd like to put something in her Netherlands...
# posted by 
: 7:23 AM
: 7:23 AM
I am DQing the assfero just because of the semi pro aspect and the fact that the blonde looks like Gary Busey.
The warthog is certainly douchey in a Dutch type of way but his chicks dont do too much for me.
So my vote goes to the bag islanders. Dude is wayyyyy too much like an asshole villain from all 1980's teen movies. I want to smack him. Add to this the girl next door hotness of the babe behind him. While not overly pretty she is still very sexy. That one size too small bikini helps as well. Great legs, chest, stomach.
The warthog is certainly douchey in a Dutch type of way but his chicks dont do too much for me.
So my vote goes to the bag islanders. Dude is wayyyyy too much like an asshole villain from all 1980's teen movies. I want to smack him. Add to this the girl next door hotness of the babe behind him. While not overly pretty she is still very sexy. That one size too small bikini helps as well. Great legs, chest, stomach.
# posted by : 7:26 AM
: 7:26 AM
I will not deny that the Assferno was one of the more troubling pics I've seen. Yet the pro aura surrouding it (voyeurweb.com, the pro ass model) DQ it.
The 'bag Islander inspires hate in me unseen since Sam moved in with the Drummonds on Diff'rent Strokes. Yet not quite the hate I feel for the Warthog.
The Warthog's proximity to one of the all time HCs (Hollish McRacky) and his complete scrote tint and face put him in a rare category.
It's gotta be the Warthog.
The 'bag Islander inspires hate in me unseen since Sam moved in with the Drummonds on Diff'rent Strokes. Yet not quite the hate I feel for the Warthog.
The Warthog's proximity to one of the all time HCs (Hollish McRacky) and his complete scrote tint and face put him in a rare category.
It's gotta be the Warthog.
I'm casting my lot with 'bag island.
The retard grin and the miller-lite point at his frat budd is nauseating, but what really sealed it for me is his complete disregard for the fact that he's being skull-humped by Hottie McUnderboob. (I would have turned around and faced her)
As for dante's assferno? mitch meats said it best(see above)
Warthog is just a dumb peckerhead who doesn't know how to act at a party.
The retard grin and the miller-lite point at his frat budd is nauseating, but what really sealed it for me is his complete disregard for the fact that he's being skull-humped by Hottie McUnderboob. (I would have turned around and faced her)
As for dante's assferno? mitch meats said it best(see above)
Warthog is just a dumb peckerhead who doesn't know how to act at a party.
I have to vote Dante's Assferno. The amount of ass in the picture, the level of douchosity, the making out chicks with the tramp stamp, the tats.... Assferno by a landslide.
# posted by : 7:41 AM
: 7:41 AM
Gotta go with the hog!
He is of the rare breed that make me want to utilize my martial arts skills for evil and unintended purposes...Although I am afraid of that I may get one of my limbs caught in one of those coke snorting monstrosities. While the other two deserve merit, esp. Islander bag for his utter failure to recognize the hotties in his vicinity and idiot pointing, the Hog's facial expression was violence worthy.
To DB1: I could never move anywhere sans D.D. , I would lose my head without my daily D.D. XL meth laced coffee. well said.
He is of the rare breed that make me want to utilize my martial arts skills for evil and unintended purposes...Although I am afraid of that I may get one of my limbs caught in one of those coke snorting monstrosities. While the other two deserve merit, esp. Islander bag for his utter failure to recognize the hotties in his vicinity and idiot pointing, the Hog's facial expression was violence worthy.
To DB1: I could never move anywhere sans D.D. , I would lose my head without my daily D.D. XL meth laced coffee. well said.
# posted by : 7:49 AM
: 7:49 AM
I'm voting for The Bag Islanders. This guy is pure douche bag and you really do just want to kick his face to get that dumb look off of it.
Dante's Assferno is just a shot of ugly as sin but lucky bastards in a pro shot.
The Warthog is evidence of a nerdy guy but not a douche bag.
Dante's Assferno is just a shot of ugly as sin but lucky bastards in a pro shot.
The Warthog is evidence of a nerdy guy but not a douche bag.
The Assferno certainly has some phenomenal qualities (asses), the chic on the left has her own website and I can go see her 'gallery' anytime I want. This makes her somewhat professional, and therefore not going to receive my vote. Although, the 2 'bags in the photo with her make me sick.
Between the Warthog and 'Bag Islanders: I have to vote for the Islanders. I just can't believe anyone would make a face like this for a photo. I guess that goes for both pics, but since the Islanders are on a boat, they have underboob, some sort of strapped bikini bottom thing, an extra knocker in yellow, and another half of an extra boob in red, I'm voting for them.
Between the Warthog and 'Bag Islanders: I have to vote for the Islanders. I just can't believe anyone would make a face like this for a photo. I guess that goes for both pics, but since the Islanders are on a boat, they have underboob, some sort of strapped bikini bottom thing, an extra knocker in yellow, and another half of an extra boob in red, I'm voting for them.
Dante's Assferno was indeed tempting at the beginning. It's such a clusterfuck, absolutely disgusting. Though I think the guys are more SCUMbags rather than douchebags.
The guy in the 'Bag Islanders is classic douche. He's harkening back on the days back in the 80s/early 90s when he thought he was hot shit. Headband, the dyed hair, and the douchegrin and gesture which suggest he's saying "You da man!" Miller Lite is also a nice touch.
Warthog is douche, though mainly for the sake of his stupid expression and orange complexion. A good choice for finalist, but he doesn't beat the classic doucheness of the Bag Islander.
The guy in the 'Bag Islanders is classic douche. He's harkening back on the days back in the 80s/early 90s when he thought he was hot shit. Headband, the dyed hair, and the douchegrin and gesture which suggest he's saying "You da man!" Miller Lite is also a nice touch.
Warthog is douche, though mainly for the sake of his stupid expression and orange complexion. A good choice for finalist, but he doesn't beat the classic doucheness of the Bag Islander.
# posted by : 8:04 AM
: 8:04 AM
Thank you for takng a stand on the Dunkin' Donuts issue, DB1. As a fellow New Englander, I will defend with my dying breath the incontrovertible truth that the Dunkin' Donut is a far, far superior donut to the Krispy Kreme. If you like sugar and air, then by all means, keep packing away those Krispy Kremes, but for those of us who prefer something of a little more substance and flavor, we all know where to turn.
Having said all that, Islander, with his smug "Darrell-Hammond-doing-an-impression-of-Bill-Clinton" face is the clear winner this week. I can't vote for the Assferno because they're pros. And the Warthog, while certainly very punchable, is just putting on a show for the camera. However, The Islander, in a candid photograph, was caught in his natural state. He's not posing for any camera. His "Dude, we rock" hand gesture goes to the very core of his being. And isn't that truly douchebaggery boiled down to its essence: "Dude, we rock so hard I don't have to pay attention to Underboob McStrappyVagina"? The Islander lives, breathes, eats, and shits his undeserved smugness 24/7, 365. And that, my friends, is why he is your HCwDBotW.
Having said all that, Islander, with his smug "Darrell-Hammond-doing-an-impression-of-Bill-Clinton" face is the clear winner this week. I can't vote for the Assferno because they're pros. And the Warthog, while certainly very punchable, is just putting on a show for the camera. However, The Islander, in a candid photograph, was caught in his natural state. He's not posing for any camera. His "Dude, we rock" hand gesture goes to the very core of his being. And isn't that truly douchebaggery boiled down to its essence: "Dude, we rock so hard I don't have to pay attention to Underboob McStrappyVagina"? The Islander lives, breathes, eats, and shits his undeserved smugness 24/7, 365. And that, my friends, is why he is your HCwDBotW.
Dante's Assferno.
I want to build a summer home on the small of brunette hottie's back. That's got to be the nicest posterior I've seen in a while. The kind that makes me tear up and give thanks I'm a man. Which is almost immediately deflated and morphed into homicidal rage when I see this tattoo'ed pole greaser fondling it.
Here's wishing a death-by-tray at the hands of Jeff Vader for the both of them.
I want to build a summer home on the small of brunette hottie's back. That's got to be the nicest posterior I've seen in a while. The kind that makes me tear up and give thanks I'm a man. Which is almost immediately deflated and morphed into homicidal rage when I see this tattoo'ed pole greaser fondling it.
Here's wishing a death-by-tray at the hands of Jeff Vader for the both of them.
'Bag Islanders. The assferno gets a dq because pros get dq'ed. Me likey busty Bridget Fonda with a bob.
# posted by : 8:14 AM
: 8:14 AM
well, the assferno is out due to the "voyeurweb.com" label in the upper left- I like to keep my HCwDB on the real.
I desperately want to go with the Hog- his orange-ness is captivating, but without the douche head butt or a hand gesture to accompany, he's simply not revolting enough.
But the Islanders- ah, now there's a douche for sore eyes. Notice the Miller Lite is un-opened, where DB1 is absolutely right- the "you rock my man- I mean, WE ROCK" Peaches point #17 to off camera douche #2.
I am dying to know how hottie's bikini bottoms play out though- that is not some stripped design- neah! that's silly strap goodness converging at who-knows what lower torso point. I am smitten once again, and then revolted everytime my eyes catch the choad-wank blocking my view of etheral bliss.
Back to work....
I desperately want to go with the Hog- his orange-ness is captivating, but without the douche head butt or a hand gesture to accompany, he's simply not revolting enough.
But the Islanders- ah, now there's a douche for sore eyes. Notice the Miller Lite is un-opened, where DB1 is absolutely right- the "you rock my man- I mean, WE ROCK" Peaches point #17 to off camera douche #2.
I am dying to know how hottie's bikini bottoms play out though- that is not some stripped design- neah! that's silly strap goodness converging at who-knows what lower torso point. I am smitten once again, and then revolted everytime my eyes catch the choad-wank blocking my view of etheral bliss.
Back to work....
Close call. But i'd go with the 'BAg Islanders.
Watching a obscenely rich, braindead zombiechoad winking way to glory like a retarded genetically deformed white Congolese chimpanzee with beer and still getting the hotties makes me clutch my chest with agonizing pain. is there no justice in this world?
Oh, and the mammaries of the hottie behind makes me curse at my nothingness in the society.
Watching a obscenely rich, braindead zombiechoad winking way to glory like a retarded genetically deformed white Congolese chimpanzee with beer and still getting the hotties makes me clutch my chest with agonizing pain. is there no justice in this world?
Oh, and the mammaries of the hottie behind makes me curse at my nothingness in the society.
My vote is for the Bag Islander. That smug look on his face makes me want to rip the antenna off of my car and beat him about the face with it. The other 2 can only wish to invoke that kind of anger. Islander douche looks like the kind of guy that brags all the time about the stuff he has. If you have a 50 foot yacht, he will get an 80 footer. If your house has 5 bedrooms, his lake house has 8. These are the worst kinds of douchebags.
I never EVER want to see the warthog again and Assferno even with the chicks making out is not worth being the bag of the week.
I never EVER want to see the warthog again and Assferno even with the chicks making out is not worth being the bag of the week.
# posted by : 9:01 AM
: 9:01 AM
The 'Bag Islanders.
because he is everything we have grown to hate/mock. no other contender even comes close.
because he is everything we have grown to hate/mock. no other contender even comes close.
There's a lot of folk disqualifying the cornholicopia of butt steak for Dante's Assferno because of the porn stamp, but hey it's amateur porn, so kind of a grey area, no?
That is immaterial to me, however; after passing over the Warthog with a mental donkey punch to his left testes cord I move on to give it to the 'Bag Islanders. It fills the bill with the dichotomy of incandescent rage and knuckle gnawing lust. It has 3.75 boobs, a perky hottie that turns my crank like a meth head using a manual pencil sharpener, and an utterly punchable fuck-tard begging for my steel-toed size 12w to arc towards his moon-pie grin.
'Bag Islanders, por favor.
That is immaterial to me, however; after passing over the Warthog with a mental donkey punch to his left testes cord I move on to give it to the 'Bag Islanders. It fills the bill with the dichotomy of incandescent rage and knuckle gnawing lust. It has 3.75 boobs, a perky hottie that turns my crank like a meth head using a manual pencil sharpener, and an utterly punchable fuck-tard begging for my steel-toed size 12w to arc towards his moon-pie grin.
'Bag Islanders, por favor.
My heart says bag'Islander
My penis says Assferno
My brain says Warthog
I'm going to listen to my brain...
Viva el jabail aficano!
My penis says Assferno
My brain says Warthog
I'm going to listen to my brain...
Viva el jabail aficano!
# posted by : 9:52 AM
: 9:52 AM
I have to also chime in on DD vs. KK. Krispy Kremes do have a crack-like addictive nature, but I find I get sick of them real fast. And as a Masshole, I have to go with DD by a mile.
Oh, right, there are 'bags to discuss as well. I have to go with the Islanders. Poor Man's Julia Stiles haunts my dreams. I love her little smirk, her under/over/side boob, and the shoestring she's using as a bikini bottom. Douche boy also haunts my dreams, but only the dreams where I'm in the Thunderdome and I already have the giant hammer and the chainsaw. I'm flying through the air in my harness, Mad Max-style, ready to slice and dice this guy and the midget that rode in on him.
Oh, right, there are 'bags to discuss as well. I have to go with the Islanders. Poor Man's Julia Stiles haunts my dreams. I love her little smirk, her under/over/side boob, and the shoestring she's using as a bikini bottom. Douche boy also haunts my dreams, but only the dreams where I'm in the Thunderdome and I already have the giant hammer and the chainsaw. I'm flying through the air in my harness, Mad Max-style, ready to slice and dice this guy and the midget that rode in on him.
# posted by : 10:04 AM
: 10:04 AM
I'm booking my flight to 'Bag Island where Hervé Villechaize will introduce us to this week's winners.
# posted by : 10:14 AM
: 10:14 AM
Well well! A fantastic set of candidates this week. Very evenly matched, and yet all different. Let us begin.
The hott in each of the pics is just that, so my usual method of ruling out a candidate (lack of hott) won't work here. We'll start by eliminating the Assferno. As hard as it is to do so, because I do love the booty, dismissal must happen because she is, indeed, a pro, and I am an adamant defender of the notion that HCwDB should be all about the amateurs. But before the Assferno is dispensed with, let me just state for the record that I would like to whack those asses until my hands fell off.
Moving on, the Warthog must be the next to go. The innocence and purity of the Hollishness simply isn't enough to carry the Seacrest type choad who's only real douche attribute is making a silly face for the camera. I need more to be able to crown him the weekly winner. Where is the hand gesture? Where is the bling? Sorry, Warthog, but you're more of a garden variety idiot than true douchebag. And I hope when you're two friends there asked you to leave before they started to dyke out. (Da dum dum).
Finally, we come to the Islanders. She's all kinds of hot, and he is a bag through and through. Frankly, I'm happy to vote for this guy. He's the kind of 'bag that makes me feel good about myself. I mean, yeah, I'm a douchebag, but hey, at least I don't wear hair bands, use the word "bro" in every sentence, and have that "pull my finger" expression on all the time. He's got all the accoutrements. The hand gesture, the Miller Lite, the sunglasses around the neck, the douche face (with intensely impressive overbite).
So yes, The Islander is your winner folks. Now just imagine him getting sea sick and vomiting over the side of the boat while Blond Hott masturbates by herself below deck, and all will be well in the world.
The hott in each of the pics is just that, so my usual method of ruling out a candidate (lack of hott) won't work here. We'll start by eliminating the Assferno. As hard as it is to do so, because I do love the booty, dismissal must happen because she is, indeed, a pro, and I am an adamant defender of the notion that HCwDB should be all about the amateurs. But before the Assferno is dispensed with, let me just state for the record that I would like to whack those asses until my hands fell off.
Moving on, the Warthog must be the next to go. The innocence and purity of the Hollishness simply isn't enough to carry the Seacrest type choad who's only real douche attribute is making a silly face for the camera. I need more to be able to crown him the weekly winner. Where is the hand gesture? Where is the bling? Sorry, Warthog, but you're more of a garden variety idiot than true douchebag. And I hope when you're two friends there asked you to leave before they started to dyke out. (Da dum dum).
Finally, we come to the Islanders. She's all kinds of hot, and he is a bag through and through. Frankly, I'm happy to vote for this guy. He's the kind of 'bag that makes me feel good about myself. I mean, yeah, I'm a douchebag, but hey, at least I don't wear hair bands, use the word "bro" in every sentence, and have that "pull my finger" expression on all the time. He's got all the accoutrements. The hand gesture, the Miller Lite, the sunglasses around the neck, the douche face (with intensely impressive overbite).
So yes, The Islander is your winner folks. Now just imagine him getting sea sick and vomiting over the side of the boat while Blond Hott masturbates by herself below deck, and all will be well in the world.
Gotta go with the Warthog. Why anyone would have so much rage when in the presence of those 2 hotties, I cannot imagine.
# posted by : 10:51 AM
: 10:51 AM
the Bag Islander for me. That white 80's headband sealed the deal. He is a Ricky Schroeder Silver Spoon wannabe.
Bag islander by a nautical mile. The Warthog has about a 0% chance of getting down with either of those hotties tonight, so I can't summon any real rage -- he's just a loser who collects pictures of himself wearing this facial expression and standing next to chicks. Grinny McHeadband, on the other hand, knows he'll get C cup Bridget Fonda hottie without even trying.
# posted by : 10:56 AM
: 10:56 AM
These `bags seemed fairly evenly matched at first. However, upon closer scrutiny, I have to give it to The `Bag Islanders. This guy looks like he just finished pinning a retarded kid to the boat dock while saying, "Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?" Now he is giving his choad bro the look and hand-gesture that says, "Did you see me kick that guy's ass?" All the while disregarding the underboob mere inches from his occipital protuberance. The white headband is the icing on the douche-cake.
'Bag Islanders for me. He is everything we all picture as the ultimate douche. I can only hope Chris Evert (30 years ago) hottie is about to pour her drink on his head.
DB1....any other pictures here? I gotta see the rest of that bikini bottom.
- Scrunt
DB1....any other pictures here? I gotta see the rest of that bikini bottom.
- Scrunt
# posted by : 11:24 AM
: 11:24 AM
is there even such a thing a rich man's julia stiles? one that doesn't look like she got slapped in the face with a shovel, tom and jerry style?
darksock, you sir are a wordsmith.
darksock, you sir are a wordsmith.
'Bag Islander. We all know that guy. The arrogant choad who actually got the hot chicks. If he were to get deep-sixed, I would laugh. Oh, yes I would. Heartily.
#1 - Douchey facial retardation, crusty girly hair/headband, and Miller Lite consumption. Woe is he. And multiple hotnesses.
#2 - Fat, pasty, smelly, satanic, and multiple hotnesses.
#3 - One of the douchiest facial expressions I've ever had to endure, douche hair, bright orange complexion, and multiple hotnesses.
Gotta cast with #3 flaring nostrils and his sweet-hot duo. You'd think a look like that would send the ladies off screaming.
Amerigo Vesdouchey
#2 - Fat, pasty, smelly, satanic, and multiple hotnesses.
#3 - One of the douchiest facial expressions I've ever had to endure, douche hair, bright orange complexion, and multiple hotnesses.
Gotta cast with #3 flaring nostrils and his sweet-hot duo. You'd think a look like that would send the ladies off screaming.
Amerigo Vesdouchey
# posted by : 11:40 AM
: 11:40 AM
Islander because strap bikini Hott is reaching out with her left hand to pinch the heads off the two miniature choads arguing over who gets top, and destroying 'bags is what this place is all about.
Where do you get miniature choads anyway? These are very convincing.
Pants are Just a Suggestion
Where do you get miniature choads anyway? These are very convincing.
Pants are Just a Suggestion
# posted by : 11:40 AM
: 11:40 AM
While Grimace and Warthog's facial expressions are ...well really quite puzzling, my attention is really zero'ed in on Grimace's shark tooth wearing black bikini hottie's rare under boob exposure, under cleavite possibly??? But truth be told those two douches could make all the stupid faces they wanted but it would never raise them to the level to compete with Dante and his buddy in the back Turtlebag. One could only wish they would stike an iceberg and I could paddle up in my row boat (with seating only for 4 more) and rescue the Assferno.
One vote for the Assferno!
One vote for the Assferno!
# posted by : 11:48 AM
: 11:48 AM
mitch meats: A valid point. My "Poor Man's" prefix assumes that Ms. Stiles is high enough on the food chain to earn D-list underlings. That could very easily be debated.
Douche Vader: Your vignette is brilliant. The only thing I would change is add "sweetly" to your last sentence, as in "Blond Hott sweetly masturbates by herself below deck." I picture candles in the scene, too. Because I'm a romantic.
Douche Vader: Your vignette is brilliant. The only thing I would change is add "sweetly" to your last sentence, as in "Blond Hott sweetly masturbates by herself below deck." I picture candles in the scene, too. Because I'm a romantic.
# posted by : 12:11 PM
: 12:11 PM
'Bag Islander - he played on the first string golf team in high school and they're in "The Boat" on "The Lake" by "Our Summer Place." I loathe his ilk.
# posted by : 12:11 PM
: 12:11 PM
BAG ISLANDER
a perfect example of midwest dbags on lake winapedouchy.
"we rock" gesture + hairband = hcwdb of the week
a perfect example of midwest dbags on lake winapedouchy.
"we rock" gesture + hairband = hcwdb of the week
I think "Miller Lite Fratchoad" has just become my new mantra. I will chant it to myself when I am deep meditation, because life is suffering, and he's smug pustule on the ass of space and time.
So, that's how I'm voting.
So, that's how I'm voting.
# posted by : 12:18 PM
: 12:18 PM
Ah, the weaklys!
I must first eliminate the Warthog. While he is King of the Wannachoads, there is little here to convince me of complete douchebaggery. He has the hair, orange and bling of the garden variety 'bag, but the expression actually reminds me of one that a friend of mine makes when he wants to do something dorky. Wanker? Yes. HCwDB of the Week? No.
And so, a side-by-side anal-ysis of Assferno and Island. Both have scrotes. Both have boats, and most importantly, both have bakinis. While the two 'bags in the Assferno may be the more contemptable boatscrotes at first blush, the 'Bag Islander holds a more insidious evil all his own this week. Sure, the Assferno-Wads are surrounded by, well, ass, on a porn set... And yes (I hate myself for saying it), they are likely... pantsless (GAH!!!), I can't escape the notion that the 'Bag Islabder's dad actually OWNS the porn set, and that the Asswads PAID HIM to make a movie. The smug, constipated expression, miserly drinking of swill beer and carefully flexed bicep for the benefit of the picture only support this theory. I have searched my feelings and know it to be true. Furthermore, the Douche-Hott ratio sits in favor of the the Islander: 1-3 as opposed to 2-4. Also, Assferno may have ass, but on the mythical shores of 'Bag Island, there is UNDERBOOB!!! (My second favorite part of the boob)
Like Arthur to Avalon, so too am I drawn to 'Bag Island.
I must first eliminate the Warthog. While he is King of the Wannachoads, there is little here to convince me of complete douchebaggery. He has the hair, orange and bling of the garden variety 'bag, but the expression actually reminds me of one that a friend of mine makes when he wants to do something dorky. Wanker? Yes. HCwDB of the Week? No.
And so, a side-by-side anal-ysis of Assferno and Island. Both have scrotes. Both have boats, and most importantly, both have bakinis. While the two 'bags in the Assferno may be the more contemptable boatscrotes at first blush, the 'Bag Islander holds a more insidious evil all his own this week. Sure, the Assferno-Wads are surrounded by, well, ass, on a porn set... And yes (I hate myself for saying it), they are likely... pantsless (GAH!!!), I can't escape the notion that the 'Bag Islabder's dad actually OWNS the porn set, and that the Asswads PAID HIM to make a movie. The smug, constipated expression, miserly drinking of swill beer and carefully flexed bicep for the benefit of the picture only support this theory. I have searched my feelings and know it to be true. Furthermore, the Douche-Hott ratio sits in favor of the the Islander: 1-3 as opposed to 2-4. Also, Assferno may have ass, but on the mythical shores of 'Bag Island, there is UNDERBOOB!!! (My second favorite part of the boob)
Like Arthur to Avalon, so too am I drawn to 'Bag Island.
# posted by : 12:38 PM
: 12:38 PM
In a week that gave us the Gator's induction into the hallowed Hall of Scrote we have three worthy contenders for the weekly crown. And by worthy I mean worthless.
Starting with Dante's Ass-Ferno. In my mind this pic compromises one central facet of the Hott/Douche moment captured in time. With a good HCwDB pic we want to see only the hotness in splendid isolation but are forced, by the overwhelming choad(s) she is associating with to be distracted from our ogling. In this pic the ass is front and center and I have little problem focusing on it. These guys are Bags, no doubt, but their Scrotiness just isn't powerful enough to distract me from that ass... and that one.
Warthog has a splendid duo of hotties from the land of windmills and clogs. Most of the bag hunters have focused on the blonde sex-pot in the middle but i'm a huge fan of the wide-eyed girl next door hottie to the right. Either way this pic comes down to that face. GOOD GOD THAT FACE!?! What would compel somebody to make a face like that? This guy isn't Bag of the Week material, he's just an ugly dude making a stupid face.
That leaves us with the most worthy of all - the Islanders. Mostly i like the islanders this week because of the blonde piece or Ali Larter hott that rocked my world with her perfect little boobies and her strappy black bikini. Indeed she is of the highest quality of hot. But what this pic brings to the lexicon of Douche is the new douche-face - the tres annoying "Dude, we ROCK" face & finger point being made by the bag with the scrunchy. This has to be one of the most annoying bag faces on record. It wont be long until all the bags in training are emulating this like the Peaches point and the Doggie Bag.
Islanders win.
Starting with Dante's Ass-Ferno. In my mind this pic compromises one central facet of the Hott/Douche moment captured in time. With a good HCwDB pic we want to see only the hotness in splendid isolation but are forced, by the overwhelming choad(s) she is associating with to be distracted from our ogling. In this pic the ass is front and center and I have little problem focusing on it. These guys are Bags, no doubt, but their Scrotiness just isn't powerful enough to distract me from that ass... and that one.
Warthog has a splendid duo of hotties from the land of windmills and clogs. Most of the bag hunters have focused on the blonde sex-pot in the middle but i'm a huge fan of the wide-eyed girl next door hottie to the right. Either way this pic comes down to that face. GOOD GOD THAT FACE!?! What would compel somebody to make a face like that? This guy isn't Bag of the Week material, he's just an ugly dude making a stupid face.
That leaves us with the most worthy of all - the Islanders. Mostly i like the islanders this week because of the blonde piece or Ali Larter hott that rocked my world with her perfect little boobies and her strappy black bikini. Indeed she is of the highest quality of hot. But what this pic brings to the lexicon of Douche is the new douche-face - the tres annoying "Dude, we ROCK" face & finger point being made by the bag with the scrunchy. This has to be one of the most annoying bag faces on record. It wont be long until all the bags in training are emulating this like the Peaches point and the Doggie Bag.
Islanders win.
Though the Warthog is tempting (in the sense that I'm tempted to hit him in the face with a sock full of warm rabbit pellets, I'm going to have to opt for Dante's Assferno. Even ten years after his shitty band last troubled the charts, I still hate Fred Durst enough that anyone who uses the dude as a template for personal fashion and behavior deserves my scorn.
On a side note, how was BO not in this week? Dare you all say that Velvet was a bigger douche than he?
# posted by : 1:28 PM
: 1:28 PM
^^^NVM, those chicks are 10 years ago hot. and the Pat on the end is bringing the picture down Wicked hard.
# posted by : 1:29 PM
: 1:29 PM
No question that 'bag island is biggest douche this week. Although I cannot lie, his wasted face and Single A Ball version of the Peaches Point inspire laughter not rage.
He is the image of all 'bags who party at Big Island on Lake Minnetonka (Minnesota's Epicenter of Scrote).
The wannabee MS 13 members in assferno make me want to call the INS not praise their 'baggery.
http://www.pipelinenews.org/images/ms13.jpg
'Bag Island gets my vote.
He is the image of all 'bags who party at Big Island on Lake Minnetonka (Minnesota's Epicenter of Scrote).
The wannabee MS 13 members in assferno make me want to call the INS not praise their 'baggery.
http://www.pipelinenews.org/images/ms13.jpg
'Bag Island gets my vote.
The Bag Islanders.
Essentially of Dante’s Assfurno and The Bag Islanders are the same. Both have bags, both have boats. However, both are dominated by the hotties. Both are photos of the hotties, it’s just that douchbags happen to have snuck in on both of them.
The difference is that DA is of the damned and the bleethed, presenting themselves for willing doggybagging, and the woman in Bag Islanders is beautiful. She is art, she is and faith, and most importantly, she is hope. Hope that this wretched feeling of sickness will pass.
-The Arch Douche
Essentially of Dante’s Assfurno and The Bag Islanders are the same. Both have bags, both have boats. However, both are dominated by the hotties. Both are photos of the hotties, it’s just that douchbags happen to have snuck in on both of them.
The difference is that DA is of the damned and the bleethed, presenting themselves for willing doggybagging, and the woman in Bag Islanders is beautiful. She is art, she is and faith, and most importantly, she is hope. Hope that this wretched feeling of sickness will pass.
-The Arch Douche
# posted by : 2:17 PM
: 2:17 PM
that should be
"She is art, she is faith, and most importantly, she is hope."
-The Arch Douche
"She is art, she is faith, and most importantly, she is hope."
-The Arch Douche
# posted by : 2:19 PM
: 2:19 PM
i feel bad for the first two douchebags (because they are true douchebags- and deserve recognition) but warthog is the orange napalm of scrote on the attack!
I'll give it to 'Bag Islanders this week, for a number of reasons.
First...just look at the paradigm-shifting potency of the douche-smirk pulled off by the yellow-shorted 'bag! A foully lecherous smirk of the highest order: a smirk that radiates with all the misplaced self-confidence a few cans of Miller Lite can bestow upon a young fratchoad's psyche. A smirk destructive enough to tear down and expose the pitiful, tattered remains of American moral fiber. A smirk that will transcend the ravages of time and influence generations of 'bags still to come.
Second, the girl. Just look at that tastefully highlighted hair, combined with cleavage-enhancing tooth necklace and a bikini bottom which perfectly accentuates a gorgeous ab-leg transition. Not to mention, her playfully-awkward demeanor bespeaks a fully-unbleethed hottie, full of poise and gaiety. And any woman who forgoes a warm can of Miller Lite in favor of an appropriately-girly cocktail has got my respect in spades.
Third? The 'bags in the back. Unless my eyes deceive me, six other equally repellent asspirates are preparing to board. Thank God summer's over.
First...just look at the paradigm-shifting potency of the douche-smirk pulled off by the yellow-shorted 'bag! A foully lecherous smirk of the highest order: a smirk that radiates with all the misplaced self-confidence a few cans of Miller Lite can bestow upon a young fratchoad's psyche. A smirk destructive enough to tear down and expose the pitiful, tattered remains of American moral fiber. A smirk that will transcend the ravages of time and influence generations of 'bags still to come.
Second, the girl. Just look at that tastefully highlighted hair, combined with cleavage-enhancing tooth necklace and a bikini bottom which perfectly accentuates a gorgeous ab-leg transition. Not to mention, her playfully-awkward demeanor bespeaks a fully-unbleethed hottie, full of poise and gaiety. And any woman who forgoes a warm can of Miller Lite in favor of an appropriately-girly cocktail has got my respect in spades.
Third? The 'bags in the back. Unless my eyes deceive me, six other equally repellent asspirates are preparing to board. Thank God summer's over.
# posted by : 2:50 PM
: 2:50 PM
I don't think that Dante's Assferno should be given any less value due to the fact that it came from a porn website. Does a douche by any other name deserve to get smacked upside the head any less?
# posted by : 3:11 PM
: 3:11 PM
Somewhere within a thirty second temporal radius of this picture being taken, 'Bag Islander uttered the word "Broheimer". ...I feel it in my marrow.
I would love to think the divine shark slayer behind him is mocking him... pretending that his Buckwhite hair is her unchecked pubes. ...And yet, as surely as I sense the "Broheimer", I sense that she eventually allowed this floating turd to cast those precious black straps aside and mount her with all the grace, charm, and skill of a concussed mountain gorilla.
The other two candidates are impressive in their own ways, but for sheer, raw, douchiness, the 'Bag Islander picture is the equivalent of a chile that seems mild and fruity on first bite, but grows and swells with heat, until your mouth, your digestive tract, and eventually your entire body is wracked and overwhelmed with burning, nausea, and sweat.
Oh, it's the Islanders... No doubt.
- Darin -
I would love to think the divine shark slayer behind him is mocking him... pretending that his Buckwhite hair is her unchecked pubes. ...And yet, as surely as I sense the "Broheimer", I sense that she eventually allowed this floating turd to cast those precious black straps aside and mount her with all the grace, charm, and skill of a concussed mountain gorilla.
The other two candidates are impressive in their own ways, but for sheer, raw, douchiness, the 'Bag Islander picture is the equivalent of a chile that seems mild and fruity on first bite, but grows and swells with heat, until your mouth, your digestive tract, and eventually your entire body is wracked and overwhelmed with burning, nausea, and sweat.
Oh, it's the Islanders... No doubt.
- Darin -
# posted by : 3:27 PM
: 3:27 PM
DB1, This is a strong weekly! A set of high-quality pictures like these sure brings out the best in the comments thread. Nice work to all who have voted already.
The starred brunette in Dante's Assferno is way too hot for these 'bags. I hate them. A lot. But I can pretty much zone out on her voluptuous bottom and highlighted inner thigh. Where by zone out I mean hump a milk carton.
Closer inspection reveals that The Great Orange Warthog is indeed a douchebag. Hair, 'bling, shirt, and ORANGE flesh. Oh and the massive doucheface. But, two things derail him. First, no one takes him seriously--he's not mastered his inner douchebag, tamed it, bent it to his Will. As a result, it never really lands him anything, he just looks like a douche. Second, these girls are totally together.
'Bag Island...ker-WOW! This really does epitomize the site for me. Both Amazingly Hott McAmazinglyHott and Duuuuude-douche make me want to kill kittens. For different reasons. The number of things I can visualize her doing frightens me. And he ignores her Grinding Up On Him. It just blows my mind.
My vote to 'Bag Island.
The starred brunette in Dante's Assferno is way too hot for these 'bags. I hate them. A lot. But I can pretty much zone out on her voluptuous bottom and highlighted inner thigh. Where by zone out I mean hump a milk carton.
Closer inspection reveals that The Great Orange Warthog is indeed a douchebag. Hair, 'bling, shirt, and ORANGE flesh. Oh and the massive doucheface. But, two things derail him. First, no one takes him seriously--he's not mastered his inner douchebag, tamed it, bent it to his Will. As a result, it never really lands him anything, he just looks like a douche. Second, these girls are totally together.
'Bag Island...ker-WOW! This really does epitomize the site for me. Both Amazingly Hott McAmazinglyHott and Duuuuude-douche make me want to kill kittens. For different reasons. The number of things I can visualize her doing frightens me. And he ignores her Grinding Up On Him. It just blows my mind.
My vote to 'Bag Island.
# posted by : 3:50 PM
: 3:50 PM
I have to go with who would I most like to slap in the face with either George Bush or Hilary Clinton's weiner - the two fat cholos, the undoubtedly five foot two, orange, 'roid hog, or the drunk puss with his mom's headband and hair products?
I vote for the pudgy island boy as this week's biggest douche, kissy face or not.
I vote for the pudgy island boy as this week's biggest douche, kissy face or not.
# posted by : 4:11 PM
: 4:11 PM
hmmm... Bag Islander has that late 80s elitist/entitled fratty/accomplished skier vibe. And by vibe i mean i wanna hit him in the face with the same shovel they hit Julia Stiles with.
Warthog's orange tanorexic hide begs for someone to shoot a cannon ball into his face.
Assferno is floating hepatitis.
my vote:
Bag Island.
Warthog's orange tanorexic hide begs for someone to shoot a cannon ball into his face.
Assferno is floating hepatitis.
my vote:
Bag Island.
it goes to Dantes Assferno. Why? because as much as the Douchebag/hottie sundae needs the douchebag, it's the hottie that makes it the visual supernova that it is, without the hot, douche would just be douche. So my vote goes to the Assferno because I am a hetrosexual female and I want to kill those two tattooed wank-choads the girl on the left's ass is so hot. Her rear view would be enough to get even First Lady Barbara Bush to switch teams, although no one wants to picture that.
# posted by : 4:31 PM
: 4:31 PM
For HC content: 'Bag Islanders, definitely, for the underboob and bungee cord, the likes of which make me raise a prayer of thanks to the god Spandex.
For DB content: Can't beat the Warthog. Though I'd still like to try. With a sack of yams and six-foot piece of rebar.
The Flotilla d'Ass is stagey, and intended to induce maximum lust and rage. And for some reason, it does neither for me. Well, maybe the lust part. Okay, and a little rage, too.
'Bag Islanders, by a shark tooth.
For DB content: Can't beat the Warthog. Though I'd still like to try. With a sack of yams and six-foot piece of rebar.
The Flotilla d'Ass is stagey, and intended to induce maximum lust and rage. And for some reason, it does neither for me. Well, maybe the lust part. Okay, and a little rage, too.
'Bag Islanders, by a shark tooth.
# posted by : 5:45 PM
: 5:45 PM
God damn you. How can you do this to me?
The instant wretching feeling in my gut tells me to vote for the 'Bag Islanders.
But I can't do it. That turd makes me feel so much hate I'd rather he fade into oblivion than be recognized for anything, even his extreme douchosity. He is the Jew to my Ahmadinejad.
Instead, my vote goes for an equal contender for the prize, the Warthog. The dude wins it for his orange face alone. The douche accoutrements including his shirt, his hair, his douche face, and his bling are just icing on the cake.
Warthog all the way. Down with 'Bag Islanders!
Assferno gives me mild heartburn but isn't moving me much.
My vote goes to the 'Bag Islanders. I'm not sure I've seen a bigger douche in my life. The look on his face and his bro' gesture
The Warthog is a prime contender. That freak deserves HCwDB fifty times over for his orange face alone.
The instant wretching feeling in my gut tells me to vote for the 'Bag Islanders.
But I can't do it. That turd makes me feel so much hate I'd rather he fade into oblivion than be recognized for anything, even his extreme douchosity. He is the Jew to my Ahmadinejad.
Instead, my vote goes for an equal contender for the prize, the Warthog. The dude wins it for his orange face alone. The douche accoutrements including his shirt, his hair, his douche face, and his bling are just icing on the cake.
Warthog all the way. Down with 'Bag Islanders!
Assferno gives me mild heartburn but isn't moving me much.
My vote goes to the 'Bag Islanders. I'm not sure I've seen a bigger douche in my life. The look on his face and his bro' gesture
The Warthog is a prime contender. That freak deserves HCwDB fifty times over for his orange face alone.
# posted by : 5:53 PM
: 5:53 PM
Damn, am I a douche or what?
I posted a vote where I didn't delete my original vote for the 'Bag Islanders at the end.
Please disregard my temporary insanity and enter my vote for the Warthog.
Thank you very deeply.
I posted a vote where I didn't delete my original vote for the 'Bag Islanders at the end.
Please disregard my temporary insanity and enter my vote for the Warthog.
Thank you very deeply.
# posted by : 5:55 PM
: 5:55 PM
The Warthog cannot be easily dismissed, but I can't shake the suspicion he might be retarded.
Bag Islanders on the other hand is classic douche and deserves the prize.
Bag Islanders on the other hand is classic douche and deserves the prize.
# posted by : 6:26 PM
: 6:26 PM
The Assferno does indeed look like a professional job. That brunette, bless her thong, has clearly done that over-the-shoulder come hither thing at least twice before. Probably for money. Disqualified!
Now Warthog, on the other hand, his doucheness is almost unbearably, transcendentally amateur. And it is, I hereby suggest, independent of the many douche accoutrement he sports. It's all in those EYES! He could burn a hole in you with them things. Oh, yeah, and the totally inexplicable monkey upper lip. He is strong.
But in the end, The 'Bag Islanders edge him out. I mean, holy shit. He's coming at us from so many different directions. Bag gesture with the same hand that holds the shitty beer can; white headband pulled back girly-style, and he's actually doing the Bill Clinton overbite! "Bra, I'm so wasted right now, but CHECK OUT THIS CHICK BEHIND ME! Get her another drink!"
'Bag Islanders must win!
Now Warthog, on the other hand, his doucheness is almost unbearably, transcendentally amateur. And it is, I hereby suggest, independent of the many douche accoutrement he sports. It's all in those EYES! He could burn a hole in you with them things. Oh, yeah, and the totally inexplicable monkey upper lip. He is strong.
But in the end, The 'Bag Islanders edge him out. I mean, holy shit. He's coming at us from so many different directions. Bag gesture with the same hand that holds the shitty beer can; white headband pulled back girly-style, and he's actually doing the Bill Clinton overbite! "Bra, I'm so wasted right now, but CHECK OUT THIS CHICK BEHIND ME! Get her another drink!"
'Bag Islanders must win!
# posted by : 6:28 PM
: 6:28 PM
Well since I filmed them on camera I'll have to go with the Bag Islanders.
Bill Bellidouchecheck
Bill Bellidouchecheck
# posted by : 7:17 PM
: 7:17 PM
'Bag Islander for me. I can almost hear the guy talking like Pauly Shore ('Broheimer' like Darin notes, or 'bromeister'... yech).
If Pauly Shore can inspire someone to crack him in the face onstage (or pretend to), who am I to disagree?
If Pauly Shore can inspire someone to crack him in the face onstage (or pretend to), who am I to disagree?
Dante's Assferno gets my vote. Two fantastic booties plus two flagrant bitch-douches(heheheh) with ugly tattoos is just too much skin and scrote for me to ignore.
Sorry Warthog.
Sorry Warthog.
The warthog. Hottie McRack is enticing and all he can do is make a fuckin face like that? The warthog is your winner.
# posted by : 12:01 AM
: 12:01 AM
My vote goes to Bag Islander. Warthog is just a dumbass, not annoying enough. Assferno has the "porny" drawback as DB1 says.
# posted by : 2:38 AM
: 2:38 AM
The 'Bag Islanders: This moment was captured in a mid-dance move as she was groovin' to the beat. She's scrunching her mouthy region, so we really can't tell just how pretty she is. However, her body is astonishing. She possesses a mild musculature with the perfect amount of body fat. And GREAT boobies. DB1, please give us more of her. The 'bag? Well, you'll have to read the end of this post.
Dante's Assferno: The bottom line is this: The fact that someone posted this on some second-rate porn site doesn't lessen the amount of HCwDB worthiness. The fact that the spectacular brunette is a semi-pro does to some extent. What stings is that these fuckheads go beyond mere scrote and invoke repressed memories of the other tattbags that have made the bile rise here over the last couple of months. I'm with Mitch on this one. I don't want to see this pic ever again.
The Warthog: Palm smash + nose = This Asshole. I'd probably polka for these chicks.
I'm voting for The 'Bag Islander. He reminds me of me when I was a budding rockerchoad. After I'd grown my hair out, I started wearing a folded bandana like this to keep the hair out of my face after a shower. I'd never seen it done before (on a man, at least), and I haven't seen it done since then until now. My mom thought it was cute and my dad fucking hated it. It gave him another excuse to want to kick my ass. I decided to wear it out because I just didn't give a shit, and a funny thing happened. I started pulling chicks out of nowhere. My dad never said another word after I brought home a tall blonde with perky boobs and a slim lithe body for the fourth of July. Not another word.
Dante's Assferno: The bottom line is this: The fact that someone posted this on some second-rate porn site doesn't lessen the amount of HCwDB worthiness. The fact that the spectacular brunette is a semi-pro does to some extent. What stings is that these fuckheads go beyond mere scrote and invoke repressed memories of the other tattbags that have made the bile rise here over the last couple of months. I'm with Mitch on this one. I don't want to see this pic ever again.
The Warthog: Palm smash + nose = This Asshole. I'd probably polka for these chicks.
I'm voting for The 'Bag Islander. He reminds me of me when I was a budding rockerchoad. After I'd grown my hair out, I started wearing a folded bandana like this to keep the hair out of my face after a shower. I'd never seen it done before (on a man, at least), and I haven't seen it done since then until now. My mom thought it was cute and my dad fucking hated it. It gave him another excuse to want to kick my ass. I decided to wear it out because I just didn't give a shit, and a funny thing happened. I started pulling chicks out of nowhere. My dad never said another word after I brought home a tall blonde with perky boobs and a slim lithe body for the fourth of July. Not another word.
Dante's Assferno should win. Has anyone noticed the penis shaped sunlight shadow on his stomach pointing up to his face?
# posted by : 6:43 AM
: 6:43 AM
As much as I would like to disqualify dante, sadly I cannot. Hottass black bikini is the most perfect looking girl we've seen on this site in a long long while. Is she a pro? So what, that's why they're pros 'cause they do it better.
Btw, Who the fuck get's an L.A. tattoo anyway? "dats wher i be living holmes" Fuck him and his doughboy friend. and their boat
Dante FTW!
-Lotd
Btw, Who the fuck get's an L.A. tattoo anyway? "dats wher i be living holmes" Fuck him and his doughboy friend. and their boat
Dante FTW!
-Lotd
# posted by : 7:04 AM
: 7:04 AM
I wasn't going to vote this week but I had to make sure that the Douche York Baglanders took the "W" this week. I see this trifecta of poo-pictures and my grey matter melts like Cheez Whiz in the microwave and allusions to the great sport of hockey start skating around. Warthog is your local elementary school kid playing shinny on a frozen outdoor rink... if orange baboons played hockey. No real douchegame. Dante and the rest of his linemates are using the most elite choadformance inhancing drugs to pump up their douchemuscles for playing at the NHL buttplug level. They are off the charts - pros that can't even be considered a real douchethreat. Those babes aren't attainable. Those are Dominik Hasek hotties that would kick save your best 5-hole shot at them so fast your head would spin. Just not fair. Then we come to The Bag Islander. A quality homegrown choad that has practiced hard and raised up through the doucheranks. He is the real deal - a top shelf jockstrap who's destined for greatness. He is Charlie Conway - leading the Mighty Ducks to greatness with the guidance of Gordon Bombay. 1987 Janet Jones behind him has the same attributes that made Gretzky leave the Oilers. She can be the Jari Kurri to my Esa Tikkanen. His ignoring her makes me want to drop the gloves, jersey this self centered wank and feed him hooks at center ice. Two minutes in the penalty box with her is all I ask for.
# posted by : 8:34 AM
: 8:34 AM
My vote goes to the orange Warthog.
Uhhhh.... I just threw up a little in my mouth :-P
Uhhhh.... I just threw up a little in my mouth :-P
# posted by : 10:36 AM
: 10:36 AM
I am inclined to go with Assferno, but I think Warthog does it. Tough choice this week - plenty of douchebaggery to choose from....
# posted by : 11:33 AM
: 11:33 AM
Warthog, hands down. The orange skin and bleach-tipped pelt on this choad set this guy in sights of victory, and the face propels him to victory (but not in a good way). Plus the juxtaposition of smoking hot girl with cute innocent friend is just too much.
# posted by : 4:22 PM
: 4:22 PM
Warthog's nostrils are deep abysses that lead to a perfect vacuum... and by my Widget Dictionary's definition of vacuum we get the following: "a space entirely devoid of matter". Of course we need not investigate any further up Warthog's nasal passages to see for a fact that there is indeed a vacuum up there. All we need to do is notice the face a window-licker makes right before the short bus runs into a tree at mach 5. Only this face is attached to a douchebag that wins this week's HCwDB of the Week. What's with face Warthog?? You're standing next to two yummy honingdrops (honeydrops in het Engels tevreden).
# posted by : 11:48 PM
: 11:48 PM
My vote is CAST for The 'Bag Islanders. The true innocence of the scene. The congregation of the masses like beached marine mammals with alcoholic beverages is just so ... Summer in the Hamptons trendy and fake.
Mr. Summerdouche, blonde ... has it made here .... too inebrinated to even notice the female of the species that has also run aground here. He has his own agenda of having a good time ..... even smiling is self gratifying ... no one else is needed.
He was most likely left comatose on the beach ....... alone as the boats sailed away with passingers laughing and pointing fingers at him!
Haw Haw .... duwde!
Mr. Summerdouche, blonde ... has it made here .... too inebrinated to even notice the female of the species that has also run aground here. He has his own agenda of having a good time ..... even smiling is self gratifying ... no one else is needed.
He was most likely left comatose on the beach ....... alone as the boats sailed away with passingers laughing and pointing fingers at him!
Haw Haw .... duwde!
Assferno has to take it. Both Douchoids are clearly missing the two hotties sucking face behind them. Better to mug for the camera and ignore the acres of deliciousness that abound around them.
I am also bummed that 'Bag Islander is bringing down Miller Lite drinkers. Come on... drinking ML doesn't make one a douche... Does it? Please tell me it doesn't.
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I am also bummed that 'Bag Islander is bringing down Miller Lite drinkers. Come on... drinking ML doesn't make one a douche... Does it? Please tell me it doesn't.
# posted by : 9:10 AM
: 9:10 AM << Home
