Kill me.
 

Is it me or do all 3 wankers in this pic have the same nose?
You know the saying, "brothers and sisters who party together make horrible mistakes and go to the abortion clinic together."

I'm sorry folks, that was just wrong. I'll try harder.
 

I wish I could see the right hottie take off the left hottie's underpants
 

Oh look, two chicks posing for a picture, Ass Clown thought to himself.

Go Go Gadget douche-abs.
 

hey chick on the right, grandma wants her summer dress back.
 

Hey, Douche!

You are no ab lobster, so stop displaying your crabs!






Ladies, carry on.
 

These two er uh chicks look like rejects from the Paris Hilton school of whatever. What the fuck is up with right chicks wonky ass eye. Ewwwwww he screams as his penis shrivels in to the unmentionable nether regions to escape the goofy eye horror. Greasy ab bag can them.
 

Wow. Two cuties hugging on camera in what seems to be a genuinely sweet display of friendship, and this snotrag thought it was clearly time to drop his pants and admire his own abs. Did they say "cheese" too quickly for this smacktard to come up with a decent index finger to point at them?

I mean seriously. What the hell is wrong with these people? I really want to know. How on earth did this seem like a reasonable thing to do under this (or any for that matter) circumstances???

F*ck. F****ck. I'm going to go jump off the roof now.
 

"Well, mah momma told me if I ever went to parties with alcohol and hung around bad women I'd turn to stone....and damn if it ain't already starting to happen....to my tallywhacker!"

While Special K checks his junk, I would ferret away these cuddle monkeys for a frank discussion on how it is possible to resemble Geddy Lee but still be pretty damn hawt. Then we'd focus on pressure points. Like the plague of boll weevils in my pants.
 

I can't help it; Blue Dress is so damn cute...I'm dry humping the underside of my desk furtively; pencils and shit are falling to the floor; people are firing off alarmed emails to HR......she has the sexiest clavicle and outer upper arm ball socket structure I've seen since early Holly Hunter days.
 

darksock, stop dry humping the table and pick up your pencils. once you can bend over, that is.

nice geddy lee reference. RUSH rules. if you can't appreciate RUSH, you're an asshole in my book.
 

I christen her Geddy Leah in honor of darksock.

They are adorable. They look like they could totally charm your mom over Thanksgiving, and then do nasty, nasty things to you in the bathroom while the rest of the family waits for the cranberry sauce. At least that's what I'd like to think.

I'm desperately trying to pretend that the subhuman with furrowed brow and dropped trou isn't even there.
 

Nobody else thinks blue dress looks like the mom on Little People Big World?
Look how easily anne hathaway encircles her with her long spider arms. Blue Dress is a midget for certain.
"I'd fill Ab Lobster Poser so full of lead, he'd be able to use his dick as a pencil."--Johnny Dangerously
 

Cue scratchy phone intercom:

"Nurse Ilsa, report to DarkSock's cubicle with his afternoon meds and your Doberman, STAT. That is all"


Pants (and paying attention to your prescription) are Just a Suggestion
 

You and I are on the same page, reservoir douche...

Pfah: I have every Rush CD, even the first one with that other dude on drums. And their latest, Snakes and Arrows, is a great return to form. Yet I've never seen them in concert. For my birthday I was going to fly to one of their concerts with a couple o' buds and SHIT they sold that tour out quicker than Fall Out Boy sold out their tour sponsorship to Honda. In hindsight if I was willing to spring for a plane ticket I shoulda sprung for a scalped ticket. I a 'tard. Maybe next tour....
 

I got to go with Danny Noonan...blue dress looks like the penguin. Give her a monacle and an umbrella and I swear batman will be there in 30 seconds.

the alpha douche
 

I find this photo the most disturbing in recent history . . .there is something so fundamentally wrong with ab douche...staring at himself in masturbatory delight ...even though hotties are ignoring him, he continues to be pleased with himself--not to mention the douche-face. This may be a new category of douche-face: the "my abs look so good even though nobody else gives a shit" face. This choad needs to be flogged.
 

Math rock threads on this blog (including Rush) = autobaggery . . . Rush licks.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

If you don't think that Tom Sawyer is a great tune then, you my friend, are an idiot.

No, his mind is not for rent
To any God or government.
Always hopeful, yet discontent,
He knows changes aren't permanent,
But change is.

-Genius
 

Agasin: Math rock threads on this blog (including Rush) = autobaggery . . . Rush licks.
 

This guy is a beyond loser. He reps the douchedom into the abyss of scrote hell. Get your, "I didn't realize I had such nice abs" douche self out of the club billy. You know why? Your abs aren't nice, and the women don't even see you. And when I say don't see you, I mean they vehemently deny your existence like Iran denies the nation-state of Israel.

Douche.
 

Polka Dot Hottie has a squinty eye from the temple to temple pressure hug with Martini Dew Blue Dress Honey. I too have a squinty eye, dew, and honey for these two hotties. Oh, and boobies.

Salvador Douchelí
 

im gonna defend this guy. having defined abs doesnt automatically make you a douche. perhaps this man was merely adjusting himself and was not aware of the camera. he shows absolutely 0 douche traits.

and with the identical nose, i think he's blue dresses sister.

NO DOUCHE
 

lol. blue dresses brother.
 

@BCS:

Uh...He's lifted BOTH shirts up just south of his nips, has his belt buckle shifted down just about where his nuts would be (if he has any), and is wearing the familiarly intense Ab Lobster flex-n-contort expression. Definitely a pose. Not an adjust.

Unless he's checking for crabs.
 

@anon. 4:40

Dude, WTF? Are you cappin' on RUSH? I couldn't really understand a thing you typed, please clarify if you can.
 

Day-am. darksock and reservoir and... man, a lot of you... are a hard act to follow. I need to start getting to these, earlier! :D

As for the Rush brouhaha, all I'll say is that Mindless Self Indulgence did a mean, quirky little "Tom Sawyer" cover that I've been inordinately fond of, lately.


But, yuh know, to business...

I've never seen the exact facial expression that the wannabe-lobster dude is wearing before, except in a porn where Guy #2 was working on keeping himself chubbed, while the Girl #Only worked on Guy #1. I almost feel like someone photoshopped out the dude's hand plunging down the front of his pants.

And, yes, I want to be with the cutie, huggy girls in that bathroom on Thanksgiving! :D ...And, afterwards, I'll still find myself wanting to type cutesy l33t and find pictures of weird, smiley anime things to leave on their MySpace. ...Their off-handed and unassuming cuteness is sinister!


But, Self-Pud-Fluffer Boy is there to be a dour cracker to cleanse that palette. *shudder*

...Fuckin' dewche! Check for lice on your own time! We pay you enough to buy a little comb.
 

@anon. 4:40... shut up. you have no idea what you are talking about. You're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know... aw fuck it. shut the fuck up Donnie.
 

pfah: mis-qouting Lebowski and a Rush fan? Sheesh ...

I'm sorry I even brought up the Rush thing...it won't happen again...this picture just made me so angry I had to lash out at somebody.

--Anon @4:40
 

@anon4:40...i didn't misquote. i realize he doesn't say "aw fuck it". i put that in referring to you. i don't misquote one of the greatest movies of all time.
 

What started, in a decent enough looking establishment, as a nice night out to meet up with old friends not seen in many months quickly degenerated to utter classless displays of choad - wtf?!? How does this happen? Why Dude, Why?

I must say, being from the bag apple, I have seen things that would make you cry.
 

Plinky just ruined this picture for me. All I can see are three siblings, even the wonky-ass-eyed one.

Darksock can you ship some of your meds to bcs? The guy may not be a douche but he is one hell of a freak. All I can do is repeat batou, "How on earth did this seem like a reasonable thing to do under this (or any for that matter) circumstances??? "
 

hottie in the blue, where is your neck?
 

it looks like someone pasted a large head on blue hottie's body. The one on the right is pretty, but the one on the left looks a little mannish.
 

That's such a wigger move...