Tuesday, September 04, 2007
The Orang-u-tans
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"I dyed my face to match my date's shirt."
What's up with the two dudes behind the blondes? I know it's just the angle, but I think that they're about to kiss!
What's up with the two dudes behind the blondes? I know it's just the angle, but I think that they're about to kiss!
# posted by 
: 7:31 AM
: 7:31 AM 
How do they keep the orange from getting on their pillows, clothes and towels?
Seriously. What the hell is this?
Seriously. What the hell is this?
Even though they're fans of the site, they are still douchebags for dressing alike and being seen in public like this. The lacrosse team should come beat the hell out of thewse guys...... i mean gays.
# posted by : 8:01 AM
: 8:01 AM
Ok, this is about as f#*&%d up as you can get. The Oompa Proomap virus must be spreading, I call for the CDC to do an investigation before it reaches the general population and all of society as we know it will collapse in a flaming pile.
The best of all is how scrote #2 didnt have enough fake tan lotion to cover his hairline hahahaha. What do these guys think when they do this to themselves? Do they actually look into the mirror after and think "Holy shit, the chicks are going to love me now!!!"
And why are they not severely beaten by other patrons in the club for being the total douchebags they are?
The best of all is how scrote #2 didnt have enough fake tan lotion to cover his hairline hahahaha. What do these guys think when they do this to themselves? Do they actually look into the mirror after and think "Holy shit, the chicks are going to love me now!!!"
And why are they not severely beaten by other patrons in the club for being the total douchebags they are?
# posted by : 8:13 AM
: 8:13 AM
Looks like the Blue Man Group just got some competition in the color department.
# posted by : 8:16 AM
: 8:16 AM
ABUUGGHH
Douchetorious....excellent call on the lacrosse team. i played h.s. and collegiate, and would love to come beat these guys up.
Douchetorious....excellent call on the lacrosse team. i played h.s. and collegiate, and would love to come beat these guys up.
This is just insane. What the hell is going on here? I mean really, this baffles me.
# posted by : 8:46 AM
: 8:46 AM
This is an exciting new Darwinian offshoot in the Douchebag family: a new species of primate called The Orange-U-Tan.
What the hell. Did they substitute the orange grease from the top of canned chili to save money on actual tanning lotion? They look like Chef Boyardee's Special Forces. Jeez.
What the hell. Did they substitute the orange grease from the top of canned chili to save money on actual tanning lotion? They look like Chef Boyardee's Special Forces. Jeez.
Hey Mike, we've greased our hair into tiny, marginally-gay fauxhawks, I've got my murse and you've got your bling. What else can we do to make ourselves more appealing to the Stepford Wife-wannabes at the roller rink?
How about we paint our faces the color of overcooked sweet potatoes, Joe?
You're a genius, Mike. Hand me that can of TAG.
How about we paint our faces the color of overcooked sweet potatoes, Joe?
You're a genius, Mike. Hand me that can of TAG.
I like hot pockets as much as the next guy, but damn, fellas, step back from the microwave and BE PATIENT.
# posted by : 8:54 AM
: 8:54 AM
Meh. I see two burn-unit rejects with poo smeared on their faces, and two jailbait DeGrassi fans. Is that facial grease, shoe polish, shit, or aloe vera reflecting off their foreheads?
Seriously, these two don't make a proper schlorthead between the two of them. Someone call Planned Parenthood and let them know we'll be sending a pair of retroactive abortions their way shortly.
And tell the Olsen twins to call me when they're legal and ready to be sexually disappointed by a substantially older man.
Seriously, these two don't make a proper schlorthead between the two of them. Someone call Planned Parenthood and let them know we'll be sending a pair of retroactive abortions their way shortly.
And tell the Olsen twins to call me when they're legal and ready to be sexually disappointed by a substantially older man.
Actually, the pic of these guys has been around here in germany for quite a while now. Causing laughter and disbelief everywhere. They allready got a little fanbase that keeps on creating new photoshoped pics of them.
But im sure they are for real and think they look cool, man the world is seriously f*cked up...
- Otto Graf von Douchemark
But im sure they are for real and think they look cool, man the world is seriously f*cked up...
- Otto Graf von Douchemark
# posted by : 9:06 AM
: 9:06 AM
There are definitely things we are missing out on here. Dark orange dude does have some kind of dirt on his face, there is a substantially bigger man standing behind the orange twins with his arm behind them and no one is even hinting at a smile not even the kids in the background.
I think these two are the offspring of ESPN Announcerdouche Kirk Hirbstreet and CBS Anchor Douchette Katie Couric. Both very orange... I'm sure they're proud.
# posted by : 10:27 AM
: 10:27 AM
Is that Taylor Hanson on the right there?
You can tell that the guy on the right didn't really try to paint himself up...you can see skin around the hairline.
Oh, and screw Matt Frewer (for you youngsters, he played Max Headroom in a psychadelic show back in the day...ask your parents) for the Leader in the Iron Man movie...get the guy in the back there with the theater screen on his head.
You can tell that the guy on the right didn't really try to paint himself up...you can see skin around the hairline.
Oh, and screw Matt Frewer (for you youngsters, he played Max Headroom in a psychadelic show back in the day...ask your parents) for the Leader in the Iron Man movie...get the guy in the back there with the theater screen on his head.
# posted by : 10:37 AM
: 10:37 AM
Chef Boyardee's Special Forces? Oh, Darksock, you do have a way with words. Total milksnorter, there.
I, by contrast, am left completely befuddled by this pic, and am just staring at the screen with a pained look on my face and my held tilted to one side like the RCA-Victor dog.
About the best I can manage is, "wha?"
I, by contrast, am left completely befuddled by this pic, and am just staring at the screen with a pained look on my face and my held tilted to one side like the RCA-Victor dog.
About the best I can manage is, "wha?"
never mind the burnt sienna skin tones, look at those expressions. they're more vacuous than a bunch of people who sit at work all day submitting humorous captions to dumb photographs.
the douchess of kunt
the douchess of kunt
# posted by : 12:40 PM
: 12:40 PM
Holy crap!!!! I know two little boys whose mommies needs to hide the tanning lotion. They look like they have some rare disease. well said ol' dirty douchebag... "oohmpa loompa doopidy doo.. oh what too much self tanner can do. oohmpa loompa doopidy di, you can score some megahotties..." i tried.
Btw - those are some very hostile looking hotties. The whole crew looks like they need a cocktail of xanax, prozac, and thorazine.
Btw - those are some very hostile looking hotties. The whole crew looks like they need a cocktail of xanax, prozac, and thorazine.
# posted by : 12:44 PM
: 12:44 PM
Of The Month finalist, no question...and possibly HoS material.
I've see orange tans but my GOD...makes me hungry for sweet potatoes
I've see orange tans but my GOD...makes me hungry for sweet potatoes
# posted by : 1:56 PM
: 1:56 PM
how embarassed must these girls be to go to the junior high prom with oompa loompas
# posted by : 2:08 PM
: 2:08 PM
OK, I have an expolanation that actually makees this picture plausible, if still nauseating.
They are in theatre and they just gone done with a show (Willy Wonka being the obvious choice) and dont have dressing rooms to clean up. Look at the environment behind them and the fact that no one -even notices- them. Third stringers in the community theatre, Im telling you.
Otherwise, I commit ritual hari-kari at dawn.
Oh wait, I cant. Saints play Thursday. GO SAINTS!
They are in theatre and they just gone done with a show (Willy Wonka being the obvious choice) and dont have dressing rooms to clean up. Look at the environment behind them and the fact that no one -even notices- them. Third stringers in the community theatre, Im telling you.
Otherwise, I commit ritual hari-kari at dawn.
Oh wait, I cant. Saints play Thursday. GO SAINTS!
i agree this has to be a joke. oh, and idouche maybe you forgot that the saints will be playing the world champion indianapolis colts this week so don't count on a W against us ;)
# posted by : 2:23 PM
: 2:23 PM
Remember the part in Predator when Arnold smeared mud on himself to evade the alien killer's infrared detection system....
# posted by : 2:35 PM
: 2:35 PM
Aaaaaaah! Been out of town a couple of days and was scrolling down to vote in the monthly when...
What the Fuck! You have to be shitting me! Their high school counselor needs to call them into her office and have their parents and friends waiting because they need an intervention.
Dad: "Please son here is some meth, now I will trade you this for all of your black market orange tan."
What the Fuck! You have to be shitting me! Their high school counselor needs to call them into her office and have their parents and friends waiting because they need an intervention.
Dad: "Please son here is some meth, now I will trade you this for all of your black market orange tan."
Mina Suvari hottie, come see me in 4 years. And tell your friend she may as well come out of the closet now. It will save her years of awkwardness.
# posted by : 6:03 PM
: 6:03 PM
Scrote #1: Dude, come and look at the diarrhea I just left in the toilet.
Scrote #2: I'll give you $5 if you smear it on your face.
Scrote #1: Okay. And I'll give you $5 if you do it too.
Scrote #2: Okay. Let's go to the dance after that.
Frodo Douchebaggins
Scrote #2: I'll give you $5 if you smear it on your face.
Scrote #1: Okay. And I'll give you $5 if you do it too.
Scrote #2: Okay. Let's go to the dance after that.
Frodo Douchebaggins
# posted by : 6:06 PM
: 6:06 PM
Now that my ashthma has subsided, may I suggest that somewhere out in the wide, wide world, there is a Walgreens cosmetics counter associate who deserves our eternal thanks for selling "TAN-TASTIC Self-Tanner and Leather Treatment" to these young scrotes, and instructing them to heavily apply the lotion hourly for at least two weeks (to ensure maximum color penetration).
She is a saint.
And they are legends. HoS, fo sho.
She is a saint.
And they are legends. HoS, fo sho.
# posted by : 7:04 PM
: 7:04 PM
Obviously the shit has hit the fan-- and these too dorks were standing in front of it.
# posted by : 11:50 PM
: 11:50 PM
Maybe jailbait hotties just do nothing for me, but rightmost hottie has got a Steve Zahn/Crispin Glover thing going that I'm finding more than a tad offputting. Of course, when I was that age the only qualities I needed in a girl was 98.6 and a pulse - and even then that was more of a guideline than a rule. So I'm in no position to cast stones. Still...WILLARRRRRRRRRRRRRD!!!
The YamYam Boys are killing me. Someone needs to tell them that it's not possible to achieve a come-hither smoldering gaze when you're the same brown-orange as Gerber Strained Carrots.
The YamYam Boys are killing me. Someone needs to tell them that it's not possible to achieve a come-hither smoldering gaze when you're the same brown-orange as Gerber Strained Carrots.
What were these girls thinking when these two showed up at the door?? I would never have allowed this picture to be taken. Someone should call animal control...
It's an advertising convention; the Wrigley's Doublemint twins are posing with the Minwax Deck Stain and Sealant brothers.
# posted by : 10:40 AM
: 10:40 AM
Oh man. That's beautiful. I love how those girls don't look ashamed to be next to them....I mean...I wouldn't be.
thank you darksock for the special forces comment- i hadn't laughed out loud in a while-
dingodouche
dingodouche
# posted by : 5:51 AM
: 5:51 AM
These niggaz are tryin to take the blue man group off the set!!! Oh my soul im at a loss for words!!
You're a douche for referring to 16-year-old wannabe club fags as "niggaz". Please don't give them that label as it would only perpetuate their false conception of themselves as attractive people.
Thanks!
Thanks!
Looks like they bleached themselves in TANG son!!
bunch of jack-O-douchebags. I demand they be de-seeded to stop further reproduction and stop looking like one of the dumb and dumber tuxs.
Douchephers
bunch of jack-O-douchebags. I demand they be de-seeded to stop further reproduction and stop looking like one of the dumb and dumber tuxs.
Douchephers
# posted by : 10:01 AM
: 10:01 AM
the unfortuante side effects of too much orange chicken consumption. blame panda express and suburbia for these two twin's orange skin. so sad.
# posted by : 11:32 AM
: 11:32 AM
hahahahahahaha omg this shit gave me a good laugh...if you are going to paint yourself orange don't half ass it go all the way...they just look like they smeared shit on their faces
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# posted by : 11:35 PM
: 11:35 PM << Home
