Winnie from the Wonder Years looks great all growns up...
 

Prince? Sisqo? Mario? And all with the gay porn star mustache? This douche is beyond help. I wanna see this guys poser glasses permanently beat into his skull with a monkey wrench, followed by a wax job using a power sander.

As far as the hottie goes... She pumps my nads. :)

Douche E. Fresh
 

His Caesar cut is as impeccable as her cleavite.
 

DaNANG! Now HERE we see a hottie/douchy combo!
First, let us dissect the luscious brunette, and by dissect, I mean boobies. And a gorgeous smile. And gorgeous everything else. Even her elbow is hot!
Next, we come to the douchebag. That's right, I said it, douchebag. I know it, you know it, he knows it, and he's damn well proud of it. Douchestache, nicely trimmed. Black man with a perm and a waxed chest? You betcha. Popped VELVET collar anyone? ROSARY DOGTAG anyone?
Personally, I'm lovin' this picture. Douche on, Velvet Jones, with your bad ass self. You are a caricature of a caricature I wish there were more caricatures of. I'm sorry if that doesn't make any sense, but boobies.
 

Pocahontas is 5'4" of almond, native-American delectibility. I'd trade 30 beaver pelts and all my wampum for her to smoke my peace pipe.
 

I have to say, i don't think velvet is a black man. He looks a bit india, maybe middleast but hes trying to pull off the jones.

Just a theory
 

I'm with Vader: this is a douche's douche. Just looking at Billy Douche Williams makes me want to step up a frosty Colt 45 malt liquor and take a long pull. Jeah.

Speaking of mauled licker, I would like to nestle my nozzle in the sodden grotto betwixt Pocahontas' lactation pontoons; they make baby's skin look like Eudora Welty's ass. And damned if even her velvete elbow ain't sexy as all git-out.

She's tossing hell-sparks into the dry kindling of my pants.
 

That's cola from the Bacardi and Cola commercials.

I know EbonyBags and he's a board certified ebonybag. And Vader i really think that's a razor blade tag but i could be wrong. A lot of you are looking at the hair and thinking that he may be middle eastern. Nope. He's one of those "brothas" that go after the white chicks cause the sistas are not good enough to ride in his douched out c class coupe. He met her at one of his cool white friend's parties and the two hit it off. Seriously ladies if the are out with a certified EbonyBag it's like dating Grieco himself. Well not quite.

I like his bangs..........

And K-Fedbag this chick aint no Poca. Poca is the "douchetorious future ex wife" link on the bottom left of this page.
 

the white is a better bagalete

-X
 

Oh, for a jerrycurl...

Gimme my Douchebag! It's the one that sez smoov muthafucka on it!
 

Sorry d-b.a.g., but that chick ain't no native American, she's from south o' the border.

This here chick looks half injun and half pale-face. ..kind of like Cher.
 

I think this pic was on the cover of "Boogie Nights 2- Return of the Schlong". Which, if I'm not mistaken, went straight to DVD.

I cannot believe there are people that walk around like this. I cannot believe hot chicks sit next to people who walk around like this. I cannot believe that HC has not been paid to be Velvet Jones armchair lover and that her smile is a vaseline induced visage of hate that screams "Dear god I should have taken that copy's assistant job at Warner Brothers."

But I do believe in cleavage. Cleavage gon' make everyting awlrite.
 

She looks like Megan Fox... if Megan Fox had a douche attached to her.
 

This is as funny as James Brown's celebrity hot tub.

See it for yourselves:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2C2RhoTvzdQ
 

That's just the kind of douchestache I can't stand.

Dammit Darksock, the first thing I thought when I saw this photo was Billy D (Douche) Williams, you beat me to it. Nice!!

Oh, and nice boobies!
 

My mission, more Ebonybags..... the hunt is on. Next week's bag of the week is gonna be serious.
 

Dangit, you're right Darksock. I was thinkin' OE at first, but this dude is definitely all about the Colt 45. Smooooov indeed.
In further news, I spent the last half hour looking for that shirt on eBay, to no avail. If anyone knows where to find one just like it, lemme know. That shirt with those gators from a few months ago? Goddamn...

Douchetorious, take a close look at the cutout of the dogtag...
 

greasy stache!!!
 

it makes me sad when I can find Chrome Hearts Dog Tags riddled throughout this site... alas another example. CH needs to raise their prices on those things.
 

Smoove B. Love!
 

This guy is the poster child for the war on Iraq. I mean, one day he is posing with camels and the next, he is placing hands near camel toes. Habib Al Doucheqaeda is why we need to continue this battle...
 

I think this Bagfrican American let the smooth taste fool him. He needs to come in from the Chocolate Rain.
 

this chick is smokin' hot! I want to see her aereolas NOW.

-celeb douche (a.k.a. custom douche bag with enema attachments)

http://www.shopinprivate.com/doucbagwiten.html
 

As a member of afro-douchmerican population, I'm glad to see one of my brother douches blazing a trail of scrotedom on HcwDB.

I've always wondered why there's a been a dirth of fellow nubianBags on this site...

We're out there DB1, with hat tilts, armbands, camo mandanas and doggybags galore.
 

...and when did Usher and El Debarge has a love child?
 

So the Gator is a Brit eh? Well I know full and well the Vikings particularly enjoyed raiding, raping and pillaging that island of pastey people leaving their genes splattered everywhere. And even at that he is still a disgrace to his people, but if I've learned anything at all a douche knows no nationality
 

Two words: sexual chocolate.
 

I think enema attachments should become an entirely new sub-species of douchebag.
 

She makes little birds sing and children smile, and just seeing her luminous phiz makes me happy. He makes me sad that I can't jam that jesus bling dog tag into his larynx. Happy, sad. Happy, sad. This pic is sending me into a bipolar tailspin that only a heaping dose of Peaches Points can cure. I'm off to view the archives!
 

I'm drowning in her cleavite! Don't you bastards dare throw a life-ring...

She could be Elvira's understudy. Or replacement - Elvira's not getting any younger, ya know.

And I like him. He's cool. Like Apollo Creed. You go, brotha...
 

Just a quick note, she's not native, not half native either. my wife's half native and this chica (who's lovely regardless)simply doesn't have the right features. note low cheekbones and a bit of ski slopage to her nose. I'd guess med/northern euro mix on her (i.e. standard issue U.S. HC)

that said boobies

and boobies
 

The old "stupid caesar haircut cuz you're going bald" trick huh. Good to see that gracing the douche market once again. How far does that shit go back anyway? He's all up in da cluuub like an ethnic Donald Trump. What the fuck is he anyway? Not a lot of african adouchians have straight hair. Maybe he got it relaxed when he got his chest waxed off and his mustache waxed on.

I guess I would still lick this chicks asshole but first she must taking a piping hot shower with dishwasher detergent to get the heavy douchestank off her.

The rosary dogtag......what can be said to do that justice. Other than this velvet douchevolver is one gangsta yet spiritual brotha, not to mention very smoooovvv.
 

lionel richie 'bag - i bet he has his initials in reflecting tape on the doors of his '81 Coupe D'Ville.

the douchess of kunt
 

"gravity defying loose boob-cling dress" in the world outside of clubs is known as a nightgown or teddy

Excuse me for being a naive, Midwestern bumpkin but what the hell kind of alcohol does OE reference? I've scanned my tiny brain and come up empty.
 

Old English 800. 8Ball. it's a malt liquor Didnt you listen to NWA? If they dont have Old E where you live, you must live in the suburbs.

What part of ohio?
 

Oh hell. More acronyms to decipher.

In between Dayton and Cincinnati - worse than the suburbs in terms of cultural awareness, I live in a rural area just outside the suburbs. Black Betty is out attending Porn Parties and I'm out cow tipping.
 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/N.W.A

It doesnt explain Old English 800, but it does have a picture of Ice Cube before he started doing kids movies.

Maybe one day i can say, "Sorry *insert pornstar* i couldnt make your porn party, i wasnt feeling too well."
 

Hey Spinnaker:

"Mooooooooooo"....
 

In college we would get an "HG of OE" (half gallon of olde english). It stretched the scarce booze dollar handily. And OE throws up smoooooth, too.
 

OE is not to be confused with the OED, which is the Oxford English Dictionary.
 

This guy must be related to the Tony Sinclair of those gin commercials.

Ready to Tanqueray?

More like ready to douche away.
 

@Vader - That shirt with those gators from a few months ago? Goddamn...

Talking Izod, are ya? I think the company went out of business when the douches spent all their money (Gator notwithstanding) on Goose, trying to get their own Trainwreck.