This little chica looks like Elizabeth Shue,
and while she has looks she has no clue,
that this douche she is with
is uglier than that lord sith,
So please return him to the zoo.

the alpha douche
 

One evening while out at the club,
balloons on their heads, they did rub,
now his hair is a mess,
and therfore i'll guess,
he wakes up with no liver, in a tub.
 

this 'kissy-face' is all the rage,
where did i put my 12-gauge?
out rang a shot,
i grabbed the hand of the hott,
and went home with a girl half my age.
 

suck on that straw if you must,
in 2 minutes he'll be feeling your bust.
this makes me quite sad,
because i am your Dad,
you'll be using protection i trust.
 

Oh look, there's Rebecca Romijn,
out clubbing with some human stain.
I'd loan her a comb,
and then take her home,
after beating that douche with a cane.
 

This bag thinks he's David Duchovny.
This blonde is hot & that's plain to see.
But his pouty-lip pose,
Confirms that he blows.
On his Dodge Viper door I would drag a key.
 

A scene of crap
Douche cannot rap
Hott must be drunk
Her donuts I would Dunk
Shoot the cousin of Fish Slap!
 

The douche face can be spread
by rubbing each other's head
with at home easy perm
and scrote face's sperm
The directions were not read
 

There once was a kissy-lipped 'Bag
Who liked going to bars with fag-hags
Cause hot girls bring the dudes
Then 'Bag slips them some 'ludes
And takes them out back for a shag.
 

This douche used up all his girl's hair gel,
yet I'd still ravage her in a stairwell.
I'd punch his huge nose,
then take all of his clothes,
and lock him in a crowded jail cell.
 

He loves Clay Aiken
The Bleethness she's taken
The both of them should rot
On a collapsible cot
While eating Canadian Bacon
 

Hott's attraction to douche is a puzzle.
Under her tank top I'd sure like to nuzzle.
My guess is he's rich,
And she's pro'ly a bitch.
Down his throat I think I'll shove a gun muzzle.
 

Did these two just suck on some lemons?
Or the balls of a fat dude named Kevin?
With a pout and a blink
Hottie sips on her drink
while the Greico dry humps burt blyleven.



Hey kids... what's wrong, who farted?
"That looks cool"? Umm are you guys retarded?
It's that Bleeth/Greico strain.
Must go straight to the brain.
Damn Zoolander, and the trend that he started.




There once was a couple name Grouper
who loved to fornicate in the pooper
But her anus too tight
so they spent half the night
with a strap on, him bent over, what a trooper.
 

Electrocution's how he combs his hair.
On her midlands I'm sure she uses Nair.
To see her in buff,
With a small tuft of muff,
"Hallelueja!" is what I'd declare.
 

There once was a 'bag who loved it up the ass.
Even when not in the act, his expression was crass.
But oh I'll be damned.
Hottie digs his look of getting rammed.
If she were mine, I'd catch her a delicious bass.


-Amerigo Vesdouchey
 

Nice work Pfah. How many double espressos did you have this AM? I'm jammed up at work. This is all I have for now...

A 'bag tried to squint like Sean Penn
With heteros he thought he could blend
Instead of making a pass,
With a dude played grab-ass
Blondie's pissed 'cuz he prefers men
 

Andy Pettitte's brother can't pitch
But he sure can score a hot bitch
The Hottie should beware
That without proper care
Her nether regions may start to itch
 

The popped collar is so '84.
There's no doubt that this choad's a bore.
But this ravishing blonde,
And my magical wand,
Could make a movie for porno hardcore.
 

Douchekovny mugs at the camera and says "awwww"
Which begs for a 12-gauge to his craw.
His skull I would spatter,
then I'd squeegee grey matter
from the canyons of this East L.A. squaw.

"The both of them should rot
On a collapsible cot
While eating Canadian Bacon"...wtf, Danny Noonan?!? Send me some o' them crazy pills!!! That was beautiful, in a non-euclidean way.
 

There once was a douche with a bad cut,
A goofy face he made whilst taking it in the butt,
His sister was with him,
she drank the other man's jism,
And now they're know as the wonder twin sluts.
 

There once was a cupcake with bangs
Who like to drink vodka & Tang
It made her lips pucker
As douche face tried to f_-_ 'er
And she bit the tip off his wang!
 

There was a douche who worshipped Winger
who scored a look-a-like for Kim Basinger
they started drinking at noon
he roofied for poon
in her now the Grieco virus will linger.
 

Come-hither looks beg for a squirtin';
Rhino-douche steps right up for certain.
He'll pound her round ass
and pretend she's no lass
and she'll wake up with her starfish a-hurtin'.
 

This Bag has got to go
hottie should really know
that is his past
he had no mast
his doctor did make it grow

Newbie Douche!
 

A popped collar bag and Bassinger's daughter
Snapped a pic with the drink she just ordered
I wanna kick his ass,
But I'll give him a pass
And just watch some porn with these quarters
 

Look at the nose on this choado.
his father must have been Frodo.
she's a hot little number
and if she'd fondle my cucumber,
a pearl necklace i'll make from my loado.


thank k-fed. right back atcha. i've had a ton of coffee this morning. by the way gang, the new Foo Fighters cd is fucking fantastic.
 

oops. ok i can't type

meant to say

This Bag has got to go
hottie should really know
that in his past
he had no mast
his doctor did make it grow

Newbie Douche!
 

Daniel-son's girl from the karate kid,
If she was up for auction I would bid,
but she chose this dick
who'd rather eat a meat stick,
so I will rub one out- oh wait just did.

the alpha douche
 

ben stiller's movies suck
as bad as good luck chuck
but his biggest disgrace
was his zoolander face
seen clearly on this stupid fuck
 

@pfah

frodo choado loado

classic. almost spit out my DD coffee
 

Haiku for you sock

Darksock you douchebag
it looks like i copied you
Bassinger was mine.

Sorry about Haiku's in Limerick
But i switched it up for a tic
'Sock stole my line
and it was better than mine
his baghunting skills make me sick
 

I've read 1 review so far re: the Foo Fighters disk and, to sum it up, it says basically the same as pfah said, that it shreds.

Hear yea Hear yea Hear yea,
I make silly face like I have to pee,
Which one am I, you ask?
Well not the one with the glass,
but with the dick the size of a bee.
 

Choads think that this face is clever,
To which most people think never,
We think it's gay,
And all I can say
Is I'd tickle her ass with a feather.
 

Take a look at my sunken cheek
And my schnoz shaped like a beak,
You should feel sorry for me
Because as you can plainly see,
My overall game is very weak.
 

boomerangs they do go both ways,
same as guys with this homo face,
would like to kiss the camera,
though would prefer your fleshy banana,
will try to convince you with his gaze

^That is my first Limerick. It is kind of fun.
 

to -> norse douche

It keeps you sharp and gets you through the day, doesn't it?!
 

Hey DB1, if you want more advertising dollars for your terrific and ingenious website (why the fuck didn't I think of it?!?!!), you should sell hotchickswithdouchebags t-shirts and/or bumper stickers. The ultimate goal, besides raising money, would be to get actual douchebags to wear your shirts then be caught in the act of being 'bags and end up on your site. How freaking surreal would that be?!!!!
 

Is that Douche Steel?
 

@norse douche 9:25, not bad for a first effort. not bad at all.

While he inspires outrage and hate
She's distined for bleethdom, stage 8
Holy cow, if they paired,
Douchebaggery squared!!!
Here's hoping they just masturbate
 

This douche 'tard who thought he was Dempsey,
made a hot little blonde quite verklemptsy,
he went all-out mex douche,
and the babe went vamoose,
and now no one will fondle his teste.
 

@ Plinky..........

Good idea but what about gator sized bags?

And maybe the Pfah can design a shirt that has bling, some winged bird/skeleton print and a collar that you can pop. And it needs some stupid saying on it.
 

@ douchetorious b.a.g. ...

I can foresee a whole slew of marketing tie-ins with this website. We can build lunchboxes, freaking douchebag action figures, trading cards ... holy crap my mind is exploding with the possibilities. "Chuck, call Starkist."
 

There once was a Carrie Underwood-cutie
Who liked to snort coke and shake her booty
By the way, who is this homo?
He's certainly not Tony Romo
Poor Carrie, maybe its the disabled son of Doug Flutie.
 

the disabled son of Doug Flutie.

Brutal, spinnaker chick...harsh and very brutal.

That's why I like you. Besides, Flutie was overrated.
 

I was hoping people didn't remember Flutie actually has a disabled son although I couldn't tell you what the disability is. Anybody out there suffering from the same mystery disability please forgive me for being an a--hole simply for the sake of having something rhyme with "booty". It is important afterall to stay with the correct poetic form.
 

@spinnaker chick,

I think it's autism, which actually fits the stupefied mug on this particular douchebag...or maybe it's your garden variety mental retardation that this guy's sporting, but close enough for writing limericks.

Right you are too, nothing is sacred and writing limericks is a take-no-prisoners undertaking. Well done!
 

Spinnaker that was wicked harsh. the boy has Autism. I always think about that high school kid that scored 20 something points in 3 minutes a couple years ago. Maybe this Choad does have it. They hate when you get all close to them, and the face may be right before he was about to go into a fit. Although there is hope if you diagnose it early, this kid is too far gone. But the fact that you know that much about football is really hott. And being that KB is M.I.A. your stock has risen to "the Bumper" levels of hott. You may not get to Poca level, but not many do. Keep it up.
 

The wind's blowing hard to the West,
Causing tsunamis on foreheads and chests.
The storm surge may pass so hold tight to your glass,
As the douche-ass you're with has no class.
 

(If this appears multiple times, I apologize, and please delete the excess, but I'm not seeing it appear.)

When hotties pout straight at the lens
It can be hot, though it depends
But, when choadboys try mugging
It looks like they're hugging
A lemon drop deep in each end
 

As always, some hilarious shit!
Y'all really threw this guy on a spit--
Yah fried his swollen nose
And smacked him with your hose,
Though I think he liked that part a bit.
 

Wavy hair gives me the jitters,
While my clasp knife gleams and glitters,
It begs for his blood,
Released in a flood,
Though I bet that these two aren't quitters!
 

Oh how I hate douche-lip and chin pubes!
Oh how I love hair curled 'top soft boobs!
'pon skinning his body,
I'd jet with the hottie,
And delight her with her choice of lubes!
 

Darin, that was excellent. Well done.
 

limerick of the day goes to spinnaker chick. that flutie line made me piss myself, almost literally. bravo. bravo.
 

I am very honored douchetorius b.a.g. I purchased Direct TV NFL Sunday Ticket much to my husband's chagrin so I can have football orgies every Sunday afternoon. He goes out and communes with nature during these times. I won't even try to aspire to Poca level. She's got that space all to herself. Where has kelly belly and jailer girl been?

Thank you bcs. That too is an honor.
 

Nice limerick work k-fed & arch bagger.

Here's another for our buddy at 9:58

A box-munching choad makes a threat.
He texts us from his yellow Corvette.
He says douchebags are cool.
FUCK OFF, YOU CUNT FOOL!!
I apologize, that's my syndrome, Tourettes.
 

she is so cute
 

Who the hell invited zoolander?