Saturday, October 20, 2007
Ass Pimples
Ever get hit in the face with a frying pan, and that cartoon "boing" wobble sound gets made? Me neither. But if I ever got hit in the face with a frying pan, that's the noise I would expect.
That sort of wobbling saw noise. If I were to linguisticize the sonics, it would go:
ba-yung-yung-yung-yung.
That's what it feels like staring at these two ridiculous hemorrhoidic ass pimples.
ba-yung-yung-yung-yung.
I know. It's Saturday. I'm supposed to go light with the pics today. Especially after a run of some pretty choice hottie/douchey couplings over the last week. But hell. I'm about to get on a treadmill and work off last night's steak, so I need something to piss me off and get me motivated.
These Ass Pimples are like crack for the anger soul. I'm gonna release a workout tape based on this principle. "Sweatin' to the Douchies."
I know these clowns have been featured before on the site. Is that The Crustacean, our Monthly Winner and douche-partner of fellow sea faring creature, Fish Slap? Or are they all looking the same at this point? And does that make me a douche-racist?
I can't tell if Aqua Brunette is true hott, but from what I can tell, she's workout worthy. White is in that awkward mid 20s stage between college and "young soccer mom." Don't buy the SUV just yet, Future Soccer Mom. First ditch the Ass Pimples and come have a drink with The DB1.
I promise to offer you cheap wine out of a corkless bottle and served in a plastic cup. Hey, it may not be much, but at least I'm not those ass pimples.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 9:02 AM 
Comments:
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I've seen red cups, I've seen blue cups, hell, i've even seen green cups, but clear cups?
And why the fuck is he giving me that face?
And why the fuck is he giving me that face?
What the bloody hell is that dangling from tatt-bag's left nipple?
Whatever....it's grossing me out.
Whatever....it's grossing me out.
# posted by 
: 10:26 AM
: 10:26 AM
Right bag looks like he's sizin' up the cameraman thinking "yeah, I could fit it in his ass", which would also explain why he's pulling his jeans down with his left thumb. Trying to give'em a peak at that enchanted forest.
Left bag - whatever. Iron patches onto your hat, who gives a fuck. Obviously not the girls who got french nails to go to a kegger.
Shout out to the idiot over left bag's left shoulder.
- Ryan Seadouche
Left bag - whatever. Iron patches onto your hat, who gives a fuck. Obviously not the girls who got french nails to go to a kegger.
Shout out to the idiot over left bag's left shoulder.
- Ryan Seadouche
# posted by : 10:44 AM
: 10:44 AM
that is the most Douchest "Blue Steel" ive ever seen. Zoolander should shoot this wanna be in the neck
# posted by : 10:59 AM
: 10:59 AM
Crusty on the left actually looks like a gayer version of Ray Sharkey marinated in water and vinegar.
WTF is the tool on the right? Looks like someone crossbred Harry Connick Jr. with the GEICO cavemen marinated in fetid cat shit.
Does she have a nicotine patch on her boob? Sweet.
WTF is the tool on the right? Looks like someone crossbred Harry Connick Jr. with the GEICO cavemen marinated in fetid cat shit.
Does she have a nicotine patch on her boob? Sweet.
LemonHeads will give you that face every friggin' time.
Balco just called. Barry Bonds wants his cream and clear back.
Balco just called. Barry Bonds wants his cream and clear back.
Why is it these semen slurpers have to take off their shirts? No one else in the pic has their shirt off. Oh yeah, because they are following true douche code.
Soon they will break into a ritualistic dance routine to see who gets to be the bottom in their short lived gay ass-bang affair.
Then they shall wander the streets aimlessly looking for their next chance at gay love.
Blonde hott is cute enough, but her association with these queer boys make her worthless.
Soon they will break into a ritualistic dance routine to see who gets to be the bottom in their short lived gay ass-bang affair.
Then they shall wander the streets aimlessly looking for their next chance at gay love.
Blonde hott is cute enough, but her association with these queer boys make her worthless.
# posted by : 12:06 PM
: 12:06 PM
"White is in that awkward mid 20s stage between college and "young soccer mom."
Eloquently put DB1 - couldn't have been said better.
Luckly these hotties aren't too hot so this pic wont ruin my saturday.
By the by, nice eyebrows caveman-bag on the right. Sculpt them much?
Eloquently put DB1 - couldn't have been said better.
Luckly these hotties aren't too hot so this pic wont ruin my saturday.
By the by, nice eyebrows caveman-bag on the right. Sculpt them much?
Hey now, Jean Claude Van Damm is no douche in my books; he should lose the hat though. But scrotum-head on the right is clearly a douchebag. Is he lactating?! Probably flexing so hard he squirted a little bit.
The one in the hat shall henceforth be known as Jean-Claude Van Douche. Go forth, Van Douche, but kindly do not multiply.
# posted by : 12:33 AM
: 12:33 AM
wow. she might be in serious danger of being blasted from the face of this planet by their sheer douchosity, but blondie babe can light my fire anytime.
My counsel has advised me to refrain from commenting on these cromagnons and to be quite honest I'm afraid one of these bags might take offense and beat me in to pulp. You, sirs, are 2 upstanding young gentlemen and deserve all of the kitty that you are able to obtain, respectfully yours D. Baggins.
# posted by : 7:03 PM
: 7:03 PM
These two are the best ever. Not a clue that ridicule is heading their way. And when it arrives they simply won't understand. Perfect douches.
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# posted by : 12:54 PM
: 12:54 PM << Home
