Monday, October 01, 2007
The Velvet Helmet
Velvet's Helmet isn't even hair. It's some form of bacterial infection taking root. I don't know whether to mock his douchebaggery or spray a topical antibiotic on his head and hope it isn't a resistant strain.
Or just kick him in the nads and steal the sextuplet hotties O.J. style.
Perky Braless Blue has that young Teri Hatcher "crazy eyes" thing. The kind where every minute you spend with her you have to weigh whether the potential for hooking up outweighs the nuts-o factor.
We've all been there. Putting up with four hours of insecure verbal nonsense pouring out from a Hottie's mouth like an avalanche of psychoanalytic backwash. A cascade of fragmented shards of traumatized ego, attention deficit pathology and massive Daddy issues.
But you take it. Because of that promising hint of Perky Braless Boobies. If you can just hurdle the psychological trainwreck and get to the boobies, it's like winning the Pentathlon.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 10:46 AM 
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something is going on here, im just not sure what. side mosquito bite, fucked up, gay-ass jacket, adios motherfucker in hand... C-Listers at best..
-Crow
-Crow
# posted by 
: 10:47 AM
: 10:47 AM 
I agree wholeheartedly with DB1 on Terri Hatchlette, and I would add the following: If you survive the hours of "insecure verbal nonsense," I find that the crazy chicks often bring the crazy with them to the sack. In a good way.
The only downside is that after spending much of my adult life with lovely crazies, I'm slightly crazy myself. Nothing too bad, but on occasion I do wake up in the middle of the night screaming. And sometimes I wake up from daydreams screaming. And sometimes I scream when one of my female coworkers comes near me. But other than that, I'm mint.
The only downside is that after spending much of my adult life with lovely crazies, I'm slightly crazy myself. Nothing too bad, but on occasion I do wake up in the middle of the night screaming. And sometimes I wake up from daydreams screaming. And sometimes I scream when one of my female coworkers comes near me. But other than that, I'm mint.
# posted by : 11:09 AM
: 11:09 AM
Half of the HCs have socks on their arms. Is this a new Bleethe accoutrement?
What would Velvet Jones look like in this coat?
What would Velvet Jones look like in this coat?
Those poor, poor women. Hottie in the middle (left) looks insatiable. Velvet jacket puts a kind of hatred in my early morning thought process. Blue drinks sound like a good idea. But the hair takes the cake...the hair takes ALL the cake, and leaves you none, like your overweight younger brother visiting you from college for a week. I wish this poo monster would dissipate like the douchebag magician he really is.
-HanksAnAss-
-HanksAnAss-
# posted by : 11:20 AM
: 11:20 AM
After snapping rooster heads neck I would bang each of these hc's doggy style while the life slowly drained from this bag.
# posted by : 11:23 AM
: 11:23 AM
Is that Vanilla Ice?
Didn't he do his fro like that way back in the day?
I can't believe this douche did himself up like that and actually went out in public.
Love this website!
Didn't he do his fro like that way back in the day?
I can't believe this douche did himself up like that and actually went out in public.
Love this website!
# posted by : 11:32 AM
: 11:32 AM
Enjoy the crazies all you want, DB1, but I prefer my girls more like far left hottie. The curly hair/dark skin thing works like a charm, and to top it off, she seems very well balanced. Like, gymnast well balanced. That smile is also worth 4 million dollars.
As for douche...sigh. I dunno, ya'll. It is getting to the point where I need more than a mere fauxhawk. At this point, it just says, "Hey everybody! Look at me, I look dumb too! Which is cool, right?" Face it buddy...you're trying hard to be douche, and yesterday's douche at that. If you're going to put forth the effort, at least stay up to date and get a God tag.
Love the velvet jacket tho.
As for douche...sigh. I dunno, ya'll. It is getting to the point where I need more than a mere fauxhawk. At this point, it just says, "Hey everybody! Look at me, I look dumb too! Which is cool, right?" Face it buddy...you're trying hard to be douche, and yesterday's douche at that. If you're going to put forth the effort, at least stay up to date and get a God tag.
Love the velvet jacket tho.
This rectal sledge looks like someone forced Billy Ray Cyrus to mate with the Tin Man. And Velvet Jones called, he said "Where my damn jacket? Is Velvet Jones gonna have to choke a bitch?"
DB1, I would like to point out the obvious from your reliably spot-on yet non-lucid soliliquy: "Massive Daddy Issues" would be an awesome band name.
DB1, I would like to point out the obvious from your reliably spot-on yet non-lucid soliliquy: "Massive Daddy Issues" would be an awesome band name.
With all the celebs adding fashion design to their resume, who would have thought that Hugh Hefner would join the ranks? Ed Grimley Jr is an acceptable model, but he really should undo a few more buttons on the shirt to really add the cherry onto the douche sundae.
# posted by : 11:42 AM
: 11:42 AM
Qwerty: NOT a Fauxhawk
Facehugger: NOT a Fauxhawk
This Choad: Fauxhawk
Let his douchebaggery serve as a lesson to us all.
Loose Blue shirt hottie is CUTE.
Facehugger: NOT a Fauxhawk
This Choad: Fauxhawk
Let his douchebaggery serve as a lesson to us all.
Loose Blue shirt hottie is CUTE.
Qwerty: NOT a Fauxhawk
Facehugger: NOT a Fauxhawk
This Choad: Fauxhawk
Let his douchebaggery serve as a lesson to us all.
Loose Blue shirt hottie is CUTE.
Facehugger: NOT a Fauxhawk
This Choad: Fauxhawk
Let his douchebaggery serve as a lesson to us all.
Loose Blue shirt hottie is CUTE.
I would totally bang the chick in blue. The rest are kinda normal to ugly. The girl in the blue is really pretty. I totally want my sack smacking her in the chin--then I wouldn't have to listen to her.
# posted by : 11:57 AM
: 11:57 AM
The main problem is. Is that these skirts are sad examples of Women. They can't take of themselves muchless a man. I hope these people can't reproduce. It is up to us as normal humans to make sure this does not happen.
Thanks Parises and Justins
Oh don't cretique what I wrote. If you do you are one of them. And Sorry You SUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
Thanks Parises and Justins
Oh don't cretique what I wrote. If you do you are one of them. And Sorry You SUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
First off, the Jewish Princess in the blue is just happy to "belong" with this Douche and his entourage.
So I vote her out for wanting to be associated. The chick on the right looks like a damn skunk and is also as pleased as her slut friends.
The hottie with her hand coyly on the scroats gut shouts: I'm douchebags, so all ya all beyotches step off!"
And then we have the "I wanna be Hugh Douche-ner with my cock smoking jacket." For these fine lasses it's not too late to get straight. But time is ticking.
So I vote her out for wanting to be associated. The chick on the right looks like a damn skunk and is also as pleased as her slut friends.
The hottie with her hand coyly on the scroats gut shouts: I'm douchebags, so all ya all beyotches step off!"
And then we have the "I wanna be Hugh Douche-ner with my cock smoking jacket." For these fine lasses it's not too late to get straight. But time is ticking.
# posted by : 12:39 PM
: 12:39 PM
Skirts? snickersnickersnicker Welcome to 2007.
What the hell kind of costume party was this?
My favorite person in this pic is the hand holding the blue drink. I suppose that was all he had to offer to the picture.
What the hell kind of costume party was this?
My favorite person in this pic is the hand holding the blue drink. I suppose that was all he had to offer to the picture.
Jimmy Neutron 'bag is gayer than Bay Area same-sex marriage.
the douchess of kunt
the douchess of kunt
# posted by : 1:27 PM
: 1:27 PM
Damn, douchess; you nailed it. I have a three year old that forces me to watch JN every Saturday after Spongebob; how could I have missed that?
'Bagged and tagged. Send him home for a scrotebag funeral with full color guard. And by color guard I mean, "Rainbow." Hottie on far left has that post bukkake hair style and brunette hottie in blue is the definition of petite boobie pleasure. Oh, and boobies.
Salvador Douchalí
Salvador Douchalí
# posted by : 1:34 PM
: 1:34 PM
3rd hottie from left is so bleethed out, because she may have been the best looking, at one point. And i agree with Douche Vader on hottie curly hair. She is a right tasty morsel ready for palette, full bodied with a nice finish. As for ms. blue shirt she comes in right behind her, but there’s something about her that just screams cocktease.
and quite obviously scrote is just trying to be like Scott Weiland, his hero.
and quite obviously scrote is just trying to be like Scott Weiland, his hero.
# posted by : 1:42 PM
: 1:42 PM
i must still be drunk or hungover from yesterday becuase there are whole sentences missing from my post. Nevemind, i'm going back to bed.
# posted by : 1:44 PM
: 1:44 PM
He looks a bit like the guy from Kings Of Leon: http://www.musik-base.de/images/groups/Kings-Of-Leon.jpg
# posted by : 2:23 PM
: 2:23 PM
Wow can someone say FOB in a velvet red coat! What's even more funny about this whole thing is that this DOUCHERAG has a clothing line called "DIABOLIQUE" he has thrown events in our local area which is Orange County as well as San Francisco where he and his Pussy Possee (which I mean fellow DOUCHRAGS) are nopt so welcome. This Douche states that he designs clothing it's more like steals designs from other designers, so he gets the Award for MAJOR FUCKIN DOUCHE, so ladies in the local SOuthern and Northern Cali Area Please stay away from The King Ouf Docuhe of OC
# posted by : 3:40 PM
: 3:40 PM
CurlyYum and CrazyBlu tagteam 4 teh win.
Oh. And my ass hurts just from thinking about crapping him out.
Oh. And my ass hurts just from thinking about crapping him out.
Everyone in this picture is human disease, not worth a pot to shit in. Worthless, scumsucking Generation Y hogs.
# posted by : 4:16 PM
: 4:16 PM
First off, beautiful tangent, DB1. The Hatcher eyes are the more common cousin to the Ripa eyes exhibited by the girl in the Afflicted entry.
90% of the nodding I've done in my life has been in response to the very sort you describe. "Eyes on the prize, you can make it... even though the effluence spewing forth from her brusied psyche grows ever more disconcerting by the second, you can still vault the wreckage and get in those crazy pants... eyes on the prize... just keep nodding like you're keeping the bus from dropping under 55..."
As for Rooster Choadburn? There's a fine line between "fauxhawk" and "Astro Boy". ...And some Japanese lawyers are coming to collect their share of any ass you may have tapped while posing as their copyrighted, hairless boybot.
...Don't think Hef's not coming to get his, either. And, Hef's a fella who'll exact his pound of flesh through bitchslaps, Foghorn Baghorn.
90% of the nodding I've done in my life has been in response to the very sort you describe. "Eyes on the prize, you can make it... even though the effluence spewing forth from her brusied psyche grows ever more disconcerting by the second, you can still vault the wreckage and get in those crazy pants... eyes on the prize... just keep nodding like you're keeping the bus from dropping under 55..."
As for Rooster Choadburn? There's a fine line between "fauxhawk" and "Astro Boy". ...And some Japanese lawyers are coming to collect their share of any ass you may have tapped while posing as their copyrighted, hairless boybot.
...Don't think Hef's not coming to get his, either. And, Hef's a fella who'll exact his pound of flesh through bitchslaps, Foghorn Baghorn.
# posted by : 3:06 AM
: 3:06 AM
you people have no lives... finding pics and talking shit on pple you don't even know. i'm not saying these pple are any different anyone who attracks that much attn to themselves deserves what they get, but seriously no one desrves what a bunch of computer losers have to say about them, get a life stop jackng off to pics of girls u dont know.
# posted by : 2:22 PM
: 2:22 PM
All anons must spell "you" as "u". It's the law people.
Anon 2:22, you need to attrack a spel chekr. And I'll have you know I jackng off to pictures of girls I do know. Cocksuckle.
Anon 2:22, you need to attrack a spel chekr. And I'll have you know I jackng off to pictures of girls I do know. Cocksuckle.
You guys are such losers it amazes me. Ive seen this guy around a few times and although he seems like a total cocky fuck he always has a group of hot girls around him. You guys are total losers for clowning on dudes here who get girls. Its probably because you know none of these girls would even look at you, so you come on a website forming a faggot coalition clowning on poor bastards like this guy and girls to make yourselves feel better about that miserable thing you got going on called a social life. Why dont you morons go back to playing dungeons and dragons or whatever else youre used to doing with your miserable lives instead of putting random people you dont know down.
What a bunch of nerds hahahaha
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What a bunch of nerds hahahaha
# posted by : 3:07 PM
: 3:07 PM << Home
