Twice in one freakin week? Are you trying to kill your readers DB? My penis is never going to come back I don't care what kind of hardcore girl on girl porn I watch now. Thanks DB.
 

SMILE YOU FREAKING PRICK!!!!!!!!
 

be careful ladies.

he will eat your soul.
 

he's backkkkkkkk!!!
damn 2 gators in one week. is he taking over from pumpy?

gator is the nu-douche, the uber-douche, the metro-no1-douche....behold his shinyness! behold his lack of smile! i think his smile muscles were recruited to form those massive pecs ...
 

Aw, man!

I totally blew my load in the last Gator comments thread. I think.

Maybe if I get myself a nice sammich and another beer...
 

Not since Peaches has there been such an unwavering sullen visage plastered across a tool's pie-hole.

Unlike Batshit Crazy Blondie; look at those eyes....she looks like she's about to bite a golf-ball sized hank o' flesh out of Gator's right pectoral roast.

Not that it would change his expression. I see this same look when I deny my teenager the keys to the Mustang.....
 

Those are three shiny people. I think Gator saw the Peaches pics and sensed a challenge, hence the one expression. I'd like to see that staredown.
 

you motherfuckers that Neanderthal is my missing link take the photo down or i will have Jane Goodall delete your page or i might have my English soccer hooligan friends fuckup this site and make it bleed like your tonsils after your family doctor gets through pounding your ass when you visit him in the Starbucks down the street you motherfucking dorks

Seriously. Take the photo down. THIS IS MY FINAL WARNING!

Il Choadomino will back me up on this! He's tight with TOP BRASS!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a hott-ass B96 party I need to attend. Proles...
 

ugh. ive got gator poisoning.

no mas. no mas.

you took too much...too much too much...
 

keep talkin your SHIT yall!!

yall still angry that I blocked ya on myspace, RIGHT?

Its almost time for me to sign out, grab my check, and get ready to roll on dubs.

look that one up NERDS
 

@squatch

DAMN! And just when I thought I was the only one on this site with no boundaries. Way to lower the bar, now I have something to aspire to. Happy B-day btw.

After installing a toilet paper dispenser in his mouth I will mount his head on my wall so that he will always be in my thoughts when I take a shit. I'll skin the rest of the carcass and fashion a lovely matching belt and boot set branded with the HCWDB logo for the misses.
 

btw our regional VP of Marketing came down this week and guess what....he thinks this site is a fucking JOKE TOO!!!

It's 5 oclock....I'M OUT
 

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Dubs is that fatspeak for taking it up the pooper?

Angry? Because some self important parental disgrace has stopped us from viewing his tiny space on the internet? Nigga puhleez!

Go on and get you that buck-forty you worked so hard for this week. I bet it's a lot of work hauling that fat ass in and out of that groaning office chair just to get coffee or chase done the dough nut cart every 10 minutes or so.
 

Gonna do one of your funky D.J. gigs at a party, Raggedy Randy?

Do you come on before or after the band? I want to make sure I have my lighter ready...

Free Bird!!!
 

@ D. Baggins,

Thanks for the birthday wishes.

Yeah, I've helped lower the bar a bit. Oh, and I've had help! Il, Pfah, Darksock, BCS, Plinky, etc.

A contortionist would have a hard time limboing under that bar now, I'm afraid...

The Gator and Raggedy Randy, all in one day! Jeez. I thought the whole wish while blowing out the candles on the cake thing was a fairy tale. Guess I was wrong...
 

Who's doin Randy? Darksock?

Per girlinthepic's request, I am in the picture on my avatar.

The pics a little dated.

And no matter what it looks like, I swear I'm punching him.
 

bcs:

Gator's taken so many 'roids he has a cameltoe? Awesome. Buster Hymen, dude.

Not me doin' Randy, but C'MON like the real Randy would happen to spring up and post 11 minutes after Squatch takes a cheese grater to his ego....

stranger things have happened. Like one time I found LEVIS half-off in JC Penney's. Too bad they were on Randy's big ass.
 

@BCS,

You're The Gator??!! Damn, you're good. I'll bet there's a pic of you and Ricky on the moon or something... I mean, what's the moon to a MAN MOUNTAIN MACHINE like The Gator and his sidekick Ricky?

Nobody knows who's Randy. Everyone cops to Not Guilty. The current theory is it's a guy who goes by Doc that used to be a reg here.

Blondie appears to have been the featured guest at a weenie roast. Nothing says "hot!" like skin peeling off of a fully-cooked Ball Park Frank.
 

@Darksock,

I'm not Randy. I just like to gnaw on the little fucker's leg.

He posts comments on Friday afternoons, like clockwork. I've been in the comments since Thursday night, just a coincidence.

If I were ever to descend into playing a Fight Club personality game on a website... I'd consider my life over and done with. I mean, I'm a lonely loser, but not THAT lonely and not THAT much of a loser...

Personally, I think it's DB1.
 

Why is Gator always doing that "I'm not actually flexing" routine, while his neck is straining to maximum capacity? Of course, this would explain why his head looks like his neck squeezed out a hemorrhoid with a tuft of bleached male pattern baldness hair.
 

i think randy is ricky
 

MAN-MOUNTAIN-MACHINE-DOUCHE.
 

Fact: the Gator can't smile. The effort to curve his lips upward would cause his already overstressed neck muscles to spasm which would result in his lower jaw being ripped off his face. Not that I would mind, of course.

Fact: blondie has a great rack. And by great I mean I would swim to England on the off chance that the helper's at her Grandma's nursing home haven't cleaned the toilet bowl yet. And I would lick it. Then lick it again.

Fact: the Gator's head is bigger than blondie's boobs. Combined. The Gator has a huge ol' head. And by huge I mean ginormous. And by ginormous I mean he could headbutt the moon. Head-mountain machine douche.
 

helper's??? wow have I had too much to drink today or what...
 

The Gator......... Yeah thats all I have to say.
 

i love how you guys can just bash someone because they have beautiful women and prefect bodies...while you sit in youre little cubicles like hamsters while guys like "the gator" are out fucking and makin it happen.

pathetic.
 

I love how you think no neck and bobble-size head = perfect body. FYI being fit doesn't mean pumping helium up your ass till you swell while wearing a breastplate for that oh-so-sculpted look. The Gator has only one pose because he can't turn his head. Perfect?? Not so much...

btw

Was his head always that size? Like even before he became Pumpy's midget brother-in-roiddom? wow. watermelon-on-a-stick douche
 

The Gator's not getting bashed because of the beautiful women with perfect bodies...he's getting bashed because of his stupid, inappropriate wardrobe, his self-centerdness, idiotic haircut, but most of all because of the irritating expression he sports in every single picture.

And the only thing Gator's making happen is us hamsters laughing our asses off in our cubicles.
 

What's yourbody look like? When is the last time you saw your dick? i bet you sit at home and whack off to these girls just wishing you could fuck the girls he fucks. He looks shiny because the places he goes have real photographers with bright ligts because they are events. Just pretend your him when you go home to your lame life tonight
 

@anon you pretty much hit the nail on the head. it's true. i secretly envy these guys. my whole life, i've dreamed of being a gigantic orange testosterone-filled half-human half-robot sports bra wearing genetic abomination to all humanity.

oh, and the last time I saw my dick, I was wiping off my wife's anal smear with a clearsil pad.
 

Bwahahahahaha!!!! "Makin' it happen". Making what happen? The next apocalyptic STD outbreak? Girlfriend, please.

The reason people comment is because we are at work with access to computers, making it happen. We have cultivated skills that do not involve a hypodermic needle, lack of rudimentary fashion sense, a pathological absence of balance in our lives and an apparent unhappiness with our lot in life. These skills (spell it "skillz" with a "z" if that makes you feel more comfortable) allow us to lampoon buffoons while getting paid. Or "gettin' paid, biznatch" to co-opt the language you undoubtedly speak. (Oh, snap!)
 

@anon 4:45 --

Yes, guilty as charged. I'm SO ENVIOUS that I don't spend the greater part of my waking hours working out and tanning (check gator's profile,spending 50 grand to fix my teeth with the finest Japanese porcelain, and another couple grand a week on clothes I'll wear once. I HATE that I care about things besides my incredibly excessive vanity and physical appearance and how much money and stuff I can acquire before I die, a withered husk of my former self.

Jackhole.
 

Anon 4:45, here is a test. Which one of these is not a "real photographer" -- a) Ansel Adams; b) Man Ray; c) some dude snapping pics at a cheesy night club filled with a creamy douche center.

Take your time.
 

The reason this site even exists is because all the guys on here are out making money or fuckin women and dont spend their time on the internet surfing while you sit at a desk and take shit from your fat bald exexutive boss.I bet that wasnt your wifes anal shmear i think we all know who that was.
 

yeah you got me there anon. it was actually bokeem woodbine's anal smear. and i must say, he does bring some serious heat.
 

No, the reason this site exists is because people go out in public looking like douches. And explain how showing up at a club involves "making money"? Last time I checked, most clubs require the mindless drones who go there to pay to get in. So they pay for the honor of getting laughed at by the normal populace. Honey, you're not making a strong case here.

(Oh, and psstt... come a little closer .... the reason this site is as popular as it is? Right, think a little harder.... a good portion of the world recognizes these clowns are ludicrous. Do not assume that because you apparently idolize these people that you are in the majority.)
 

@ anon -

First of all, who the fuck are you?
Second of all, while its true these 'bags are out bonking women, it doesn't mean we're out for the same thing. some of us are married w/ wives and kids, and we enjoy looking down on these orange choads.
Finally it takes probably MORE time to sit in a tanning bed and wax your brows than surf the internet, so whose wasting more time?


oh yeah, fuck you gator
 

If the Gator is actually fucking these girls as anon@4:45 said, then the girls are either bleethed beyond all hope or just completely plastered. Or both.
 

I dont idolize but i realize they are living the dream while you sit back and mock them...their are 2 kinds of people in the world...those who try and those who sit back and critisize...i think its pretty clear who you are.
 

@rookie i guarantee you the Gator fucks no one except himself. he stares at himself in a mirror and whacks off, covering his own reflection with the money shot.
 

God damn, the Anonotards sure can be as dumb as corn. Explain it to them over and over and over again, and still, they come back with the same stupid, lame-ass argument...

Sometimes they need a violent shaking. Wish I could reach out and do it.

Anonotard: "i realize they are living the dream". Whose dream? Take a deep breath and reread the question. Whose... Dream?

There's lots of folks in the world who dream in color, not just in black and white like an old beagle snoozing on the porch, getting some sun, legs a-twitchin' because some rabbit flashed by.
 

Gator is not living my dream, or any sentient person's dream. I do, however, find his self-absorption hilarious.

And the chestnut about "two types of people" doesn't have much of a sting. From where I'm sitting, there are two types of people -- those who can spot an obliviously self-important douchebag and see the obvious humor therein and those who criticize the douche spotters.

I would add that we really don't care whether these uber-"popular" douches like us or what they might think of us. Frankly, I can't imagine a segment of the population whose views about anything I would value less. Defenders of the douche fall more or less in this category as well. By way of contrast, douches almost inevitably harbor an insecurity that lurks not very far beneath their orange surface, which leads them to dress and act in objectively preposterous ways to garner the approval of their insular and plastic world.

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree.
 

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youre dream. you wish youre life was like "the gators"

your nothin but a poser and hes the real deal keep posting your witty replys and big college words...this guy will laugh and count his money while you post on a website
 

Oh, snork!

Witty riposte there, Anon. You've outed yourself to be precisely what Art of the Douche implied you are.

Money just cannot buy irony like that...

BTW, that's a hell of a schlort The Gator is sporting here. Was it applied with a day-glo paintbrush? I guess it's those klieg lights from the professional photographers that are spoiling his oh so serious, oh so successful, yet oh so sexy expression. Yes?

To most people, his expression makes him look like an elderly man who just walked in soaked from the cold rain and is desperate to take a dump for the first time in three days.
 

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@anon -

So let me get this right. You're saying (and correct me if I'm wrong) that on this site we make fun of douchebags who are photographed with hot chicks?

And your main point is that the hot chicks are with the douchebags?

Damn. What could we call a site like that?

Shit. I got nothin'.

Anyone else got any ideas? Weigh in here, hunters.
 

Oh, oh, oh! I know, I know! Call on me, teacher, I'm ever so smart!

I think the site should be called... Hot Chicks with Douche Bags in Photos 'n Stuff!

I've rechecked the pic. The Gator is still trying to grunt one out...
 

you guys suck

you have fun and make fun of the "douchebags" but we all know who the true "douchebags" are!

i'll be at home, thrusting the grainy brown hole they call my wife's anus.

fyi, this has been brought to you by bcs productions.

all representations of anon has been a work of fiction.

all similiarities to those dead or alive is purely coincidental.

it was really hard for me to misspell and use your and you're incorrectly.

how did i do? we're you fooled? did you really think i was an anon douchebag? i only wish darksock wouldve been here.

in conclusion, i award you no points. and may god have mercy on your soul...
 

ahahahahahahahaha
 

What the fook? I've shit better looking specimens than these two wannableeths. I'm convinced gator is made of wax.
 

Why's a B96 douche commenting on here if he hates it? Rolling on dubs? No one cares about your Civic. More importnatly, fuckin' Gator...why is he like a deer in headlights in every picture?
Wake up, get some jager bombs Gator!
 

Hey B96 Randy, the site is a joke dipshit. We are all here to laugh at guys who aspire to order from The International Male catalog!

Go dance the Soulja Boi!
 

@bcs,

Niiiiice... Your a jerk. I hope youre evening is really, really bad! And stuff...

Hehehehe! Seriously, though. Posing as an Anonotard... Doesn't that hurt the brain a whole lot? You're not sitting there with a vacant Gator stare on your face right now, drooling on the floor, are you?

Hmm. If someone were to tell me that blondie in the pic was British... hell, slap me with a halibut! Barbaro called, he wants his teeth back. He also says he's dead, the little whiner...
 

BCS, I salute you. You have made my working on a Friday evening slightly more enjoyable. I was going to question near the outset whether this was a wind-up, but my righteous indignation got the better of me. However, if one true anon wanders on this thread and reaches self-enlightenment from our little staged set-to, the world will be better for it.

Unfortunately, all of this mock mocking doesn't make Gator go away. He sits there and stares, immutable as a colossal orange turd that resists the powerful downward spiral of the flush. Just knowing he will be staring throughout the night at any unsuspecting soul who comes to this site gives me cold chills. May God have mercy on their souls. (Screw this, I am trying to bold the word "their" and I know crap for HTML tags.)
 

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@Squatch:

Much love for the Barbaro comment. I lol'ed beaucoup.
 

Yay bcs!

You were really convincing as a semi-literate anon-a-sphincter!

You got mad skillz. And whatnot.

Dibs on Olivia-Psycho John.
 

@Rookie - You're welcome. It looks like she's still got bits of apple stuck between her teeth... Nice mane, though. She looks like she gets a daily brushing.

@John Edward(s) - Olivia Psycho John? Oh yeah, love it, love it! My balls would migrate north for the winter if I saw this chick coming at me, singing "Let's get physical, physical! I wanna get physical..."

There's only so much room for bunnies in the stew pot.
 

randy @ chicago's b96 - 96.3 fm said

HAHAHA you mutherfuckers I just spent my $75 paycheck you mutherfuckers so what do you think about that; my regional manager says HAHAHA because he took off his LEVI'S and I sucked him dry HAHAHA you mutherfuckers wish you pulled the bitches (dudes) I pull HAHAHA because TOP BRASS says I have the sweetest ass in a pair of LEVI'S and so y'all can HATE ON THAT you FAGGITS hahaha I have to go now to open at McDonald's HAHAHA bitches...
 

TOP BRASS says you left a spot.

*snork* Plinky has been infected with the Grieco virus! OMG, LOL, LMFAO!

Nice job with the McDonald's reference. Very hateful, Plinky. Vicious. I love it... Bellisimo.

Rumor is RANDY! just went down on The Gator, and got his head blown into the wallpaper. Those Strawberry Shortcake patterns look pretty evil now... Looks like a Rambo Part 3 trailer. With strawberry blonde hair.
 

squatch are you still celebrating turning 40??!?
Good for you!

I just got home a little while again from drinking and HAD to log on. What the fuck is wrong with me?!? (don't answer that)

Anyhooo... it's nice to see another loser, errrrr, another bag hunter logged on tonight.
 

@Plinky,

Good on ya! Hope you enjoyed.

Yes, I'm still celebrating 40. Just playin' with myself in my mom's basement, hands jammed down my Levis. The usual stuff...

Does brunette hottie look like she's been bashed in the face with a heavy pan to you, too? I can't figure her out. She obviously stuck her head into the same bonfire as blondie - who got the worst of it - but I'm at a loss from there...
 

squatch, she looks to me like an Ewok with a really, really close shave.

Blondie looks like she's got some racoon streaks going on.

Whould I boff them both? Of course. I'm a weak man.
 

Hmm. An Ewok with a really, really close shave. Sounds like a mini-squatch to me. I likee!

Maybe if she'd fwip her hair a little bit... I dunno. She still looks like the school nurse after taking a couple of Xanax.

Blondie looks like she got faced by the Enola Gay. I'll pass on that.
 

So what yer saying squatch is that blondie's got radiation sickness and brunette lass looks like an elephant sat on her face?

Yessirree I can see that. It's bed time for plinky.
 

G'night, Plinky.

Don't let the douchebags bite.
 

man i was hammered last night. i hardly remember doing this. i was fighting with the wife the whole time cuz she $100+ dollars at bath and body works yesterday.

thanks for taking it all in stride kids
 

GD. The one night I turn in early, and I miss out on the best thread of the week.

bcs, you're one cruel mofo.

squatch, you an' plinky put on a good show, guys.

plinky, you need to get your grieco booster shot. Sounds like your douchmunity's gettin' low.

adamoda14, your Halloween pic still horrifies me. Make it stop.

And fuck RANDY with Fish Slap's dick.
 

@BCS,
That's some Pfah-esque Photoshopping right there. I'm amazed.


Fuck you Gator. I'm starting to hate you more and more.
 

Thanks Il Choadrino, you really are the big choad. At least you didn't think I was a sushi chef for halloween like this one broad did. I only pray that I'm able to find the means to get a bitchin' orange tan for next years halloween just like the Gator.
 

@bcs

$100+ at Bath N Body Works? That's a whole lotta loufas and smelly shit. And lotion. And candles. And bathroom accessories. And ... ahhhhh forget it. I don't have to tell you, you're the one staring at the bill.

Good times, good times.
 

A face that deserves a hard chair to be smashed on it, what a fucking cock much this guy is,
 

Anyone smell fried catfish?
 

@hanksanass

Come to think of it I do smell fish. I think the Suzanne Somers and Joyce DeWitt stand-ins aren't wearing panties.
 

Fuck you Gator! All you need is a kicking tee placed under your chin cuz your damn head is shaped just like a football. Anybody want to attempt a field goal? Take as many tries as you all want.
 

If my last name was "of the bag", I'd name my kid Mark.
 

nazi douche
 

He's "scannning" again. One more pic and I'll end up like that guy in the movie. KA-BOOM!!! Brains all over.
 

There's three kinds of people in this world: those who can count, and those who cannot.
 

ahhh p. choaddy beat me to it.

i was gonna say i'd like to take this guys head and punt it for 40 yards. and that hideous haircut just exaggerates the football shape.

@anon: might it be that you yourself are a douche and are mad that we are making fun of your bag brethren? awwww poor baby, go take a couple ghb shots... or 6 or 7
 

Looks like Zippy the Pin-Head finally got the muscles he ordered from the back of his comic book. Nice receding hairline... Got GBH-4 written all over it.
 

Blondie's hott... Her fat brunette cousin isnt.