how could any hetro man be so pissed with those titties so close? I mean 'cmon... those are fantastic! I'm gonna photoshop myself in place of Gator.

He has a the vacant hostile look as if somebody invaded his cave. Small one act:

insane titties; Gator, what's wrong?

Gator; Can you see these fucking fags looking in here, judging me?

Insane titties; Geeze, what the fuck is with you? Cant you smile for once? I mean 'cmon, these titties arent gonna bronski themselves!

Gator; They're all fags, lookin and watchin... I'd fuck one of them up as an example.

Insane titties; Gator, you're a vag-tease!
 

haha! nice db1. thanks.

i checked in on old gators myspace, found this pic along with some new monstrosities.

check out the rest if you're bored:

http://www.myspace.com/scottalexander_no1
 

She's got the kind of tits you just can't hide. Even beneath a queen-sized bedsheet they're full, round and marvelous.

He's a douchebag.
 

LMAO

I swear to God I will never forget the Gator. I need one of those lame bumper stickers to let eeryone know "im patriotic and betrer than you"....maybe a sticker that shows you "support the douches"
 

i just love how the Gator keeps resurfacing.... like an actual alligator.
 

The gator lives in the sewere of Douche and once a month he pops out of some shit stained toilet...PISSED

Did anyone notice the Hooka in the background?
 

Is it just me or is that Purg hottie with him?
 

God dammit DB1! My dick just crawled in to my stomach. I guess it's my natural response to a predatory attack on my senses. Now I'm going to have to stare at pics of Jessica Alba and talk to him real nicely all day just to get him to come back out. I may as well be celibate for the next 24 hours.

FDA Warning

Do not use Gator if you are pregnant or if you have recently had a baby. Do not use Gator if you have any of the following conditions: a history of stroke or blood clot, circulation problems, a hormone-related cancer such as breast or uterine cancer, abnormal vaginal bleeding, liver disease or liver cancer, migraine headaches, or a history of jaundice caused by birth control pills.

You may need to use back-up birth control, such as condoms or a spermicide, when you first start using Gator. Follow your doctor's instructions.

Fuck you Gator!

There but for the grease of god go I.
 

this loser has only one look. change it up for once you fuck tard. His dick is probably as hard to look at as his face.
 

Question:
Who would win in a staring contest? Gator or Peaches?

LOTD
 

"Look son, there must be ten dollars worth of grease of that guy's forhead alone...my god you're greasy"

the alpha douche
 

Wow, that's a great question...Peaches or Gator....hmmmm, I just don't know at this point.
 

He's still got The Mark, though. Still got it.
 

That's quite an impressive choadmark there, G. Maybe that's why he's so pissed off? No matter how hard he scrubs, the mark of scrote remains. Like the Scarlet Letter ... except it's a cock-n-balls gleam on his greasy forehead. That or he's just now figuring out that how to correctly wear a sweater vest has apparently escaped him yet again.

Yowsers. Is she smuggling two midgets under that bedsheet? I'm guessing she's looking in his ear trying to figure out where that faint whistle-like howl is coming from. (Hint: It's the air pressure equalizing between the room you're in and the massive empty cavity in side Gator boy's skull).
 

His myspace is on par with joey/fishslaps. Hilarious. It looks like he cut and pasted "NO.1...I made something outta nothing" in every section.

Some things you just can't unsee

LOTD
 

Viewing his MySpace page confirms what a narcissistic fucktard this douche really is.
 

His MySpace site is so full of choad that it takes forever to load the scrote.
 

It looks like these two are having a staring contest, but she got confused and is staring down his ear instead.

And what's with gator and these vaguely pregnant looking chicks? Maybe it's the aforementioned queen-sized bedsheet, but something about her just says pregnant. I hope it's not a little gator in the oven. Although you would be able to tell from the ultrasound, because it would be staring fiercely at you from the uterus.
 

Her arm is breaking under the weight of those delicious flesh pillows.
 

To get that 'shiny and buff' look our friend Gator uses Turtle Wax and a super soft chamois.

And to get that 'mean and intense' look he keeps himslef constipated.

For those of you who have checked out his website, is this living beef jerky an American?
 

And by "living beef jerky" you of course mean, dead beef jerky...
 

WAHT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION DOUCHE-TARD! STOP STARING AT ME JAR HEAD AND GO CLEAN THE SHITTERS WITH YOUR TOUNGE!

Mmmm boobies!
 

He won't even nibble the Hott? I bet he just ate a small child.
 

this guy is fucking ridiculous
 

thanks DB1. i'll never forget.

this picture makes me very angry. which is good since i am heading out to a hockey game right now.

5 for fighting, people. 5 for fighting.
 

gator would feel a lot better if he could finally squeeze out that Cleveland steamer he's been working on since puberty
 

I hope the gator gets hit by a car. I added him (Scott Alexander, London) as a facebook friend so I could ridicule him on his wall, and he refused my request.....Bastard.
 

Hey DB1, you got a nice reference over on Caption This.
 

http://www.sundaymirror.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=17174012&method=full&siteid=62484&headline=exclusive--in-this-most-vain-man-in-britain---name_page.html

What a chode.
 

his MySpace almost crashed my browser...that Sunday Mirror article is priceless too

so it seems the Gator is a minor celebrity, and by celebrity i mean scrote.

he terrifies me, in laughout loud way.
 

Maybe the Gator is impotent? It is the only thing that could explain being that pissed off being directly downwind from those inflated twin spinnakers of juggage. If those were blowing toward me I would be laughing like a manic depressive at the apex of a manic arc on nitrous.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

Would someone PLEASE eviscerate this anal wart with a post-hole digger?

I can't wait for the coils of youth to slip from this narcissist taint. He's staked his entire existence on temporal things that slip away.

$20 sez he commits suicide before age 50.

Extra $20 that it's auto-erotic strangulation. In front of a mirror. They'll find his corpse, half eaten up to the pelvis by his forgotten and now-feral bijon friese fru-fru dog.

And his rotting head will still. have. that. same. fucking. look.
 

This idiot always has the same expression on his face. What an a$$hole. I'd LOVE to kick this guy in the teeth. He looks like Peter North's blond twin. Asshat.
 

This picture is not appropriate for HCwDB.com. This belongs in some sort of museum for modern art. It looks like a still of some bizarro Alfred Hitchcock movie or an updated ABBA video.

And, as others have noted, the Greek Goddess Diana has magnificent breasts.
 

My theory is that the Gator subscribes to the belief, shared by many primitive peoples, that when an image of a person is taken, such as by photograph, a person's soul (or a portion thereof) is stolen. However, the Gator understands the modern world enough to know that any overt attempt to prevent his picture from being taken would not be taken well, and thus he can only glare, filled with rage, as the evil witchdoctor with the "camera" (he pronounces such a difficult multisyllabic word with careful exaggeration) steals a portion of his soul.

Is she wearing a fucking toga, or what?
 

From the Gator's myspace. Read it, and you will have the urge to club 50 baby kittens.

SCOTT ALEXANDER......The desire to be number one. Not to accept second place or undertake any task without complete dedication, motivation, focus and application has been my driving force in being able to develop, apply and maintain a healthy body, strong mind and run a successful business portfolio. Nothing, I mean nothing is impossible, its all achievable!!!! I WOULD DESCRIBE MYSELF:- Disciplined, focused, driven, powerfull, determined, un-stoppable, man-mountain machine, passionate, persistant, resiltant, with a die hard, go forward attitude with a burning desire that only accepts the taste of SUCCESS!!!..... MY KEY POWER PHRASES:- 1)Focus, keep motivated, believe in yourself, and above all want it like your very existence depended on it like the air that you breath, then multiply it by 1000 per cent that’s the zone you need to be in, to be NO1 !! 2)Second place is just NOT an option. 3)To taste defeat is absolute failure, this is not acceptable, not an option, not a consideration under any circumstance, I will draw upon my complete being to ensure this continues never to happen.
 

Man, I wish he were my dad.
 

Wow, he got a LOT more orange than the last time we saw him. Notice the flawless mark of the douche on his forehead.
 

reading that excerpt made me realize that he is essentially an animated polyp from tony little's prostate. when he was fat tony little.

was this guy wrongly touched as a child? does he take roids to fight back that clown haunting his dreams?


-the bag also rises
 

From now on, I'm going to try to work in the phrases "man-mountain machine" and "resiltant" into all of my conversations.
 

No wonder the dude looks so pissed all the time. He got ripped off using Schlorthead-in-a-Box! (NSFW)

The product sucks. I ended up partially blinded for almost a week due to excess runoff. And I had to cover up the stain with tan-in-a-can.

The chicks seemed to dig it, though...
 

around these parts a vag tease is know as a clit tease...

i assume one of the Gators other mantras is 'If it doesn't smell like shit, don't hit it'
 

@squatch

Nice work.

Gator always looks like he ready to have sex at a moments notice and by sex I mean dry humping Fish slaps ass. Of course it's moments like these that force one to really stop and pontificate on whether Gator would be tethering his scaly penis to Slaps intestines or if Slap would be the greasy anal destroyer in this relationship.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

Thanks D. Baggins.

Just something I threw together. Great learning experience. I learned a bit about MS Publisher, and I also learned that I should NEVER quit my day job in IT...

You kiddin' me? The Gator looks so much like the 'pitcher', Roger Clemens is taking notes from him on how to throw a fastball.

The Gator also looks like what really killed Steve Irwin. 'Stingray', my ass...
 

First off, kudos to Squatch! That was repulsive. You're on a roll this week.

Hell, DB1, I can never forget the Gator.

Just like I can never forget the Hindenberg, World Wars I and II, Hiroshima, Vietnam, Bill Buckner, 9/11, and the great tsunami of 2004.

They're all part of the horrific tapestry of life that reminds us that fate is merciless and comes in many forms.

And sometimes it shows up with an irradiated orange tan wearing my great uncle Willard's sweater vest.

And fuck Fish Slap.
 

@squatch As soon as I saw the black dildo entitled "the RANDY!", I laughed uncontrollably for a solid 30 seconds. which, for me, is an incredibly long time to laugh. bravo.

@dbaggins all you need to be a web designer is pot.

@gator die.

@fish slap fuck you
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

If Steve Irwin came face to face with the Gator, he'd have to kill himself in self-defense.

I'm sentimental about the Gator, as he was the first 'bag I discovered on this fine site. He remains an avatar to which lesser 'bags can only aspire.
 

@bcs,

It's even funnier than that. That's an anal plug...

*snort!*
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

Taylor Negron?
 

@squatch

so it is. usually im embarrased about my ignorance, in this case, im quite proud at the fact i dont know what an anal plug looks like
 

@bcs,

Umm... I don't blame you. Don't blame you at all.

I reread my post and thought... What the fuck does it say about me that I know what a butt-plug looks like? Ewwww...

I'm so NOT gonna pick up hot chicks here, am I?
 

BTW, I think The Gator just slid off the couch.

Poor bastard needs some traction. Bet you he slides down stairs and shit from all the grease...

"Bye, Gator! Thanks for coming to the party!"

"See ya! It was... Oh, FUCK! AHHHHHH! *Whumpwhumpwhumpwhumpwhump*"

"Gator? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I think I just broke my femur. No biggie. I'll just walk it off, because I'm a MAN MOUNTAIN MACHINE! Yearrrrrgh!"
 

maybe the gaytor doesnt have teeth and thats why he refuses to smile. he chooses instead to give the same vacant look to the camera everytime.
 

The Gator. Definitely the best choad on the site.
 

reservoir douche said "it would be staring at you fiercely from the uterus" Oh man, that made me spit my iced tea all over my monitor. Thanks Res, that was the best comment in this thread.
 

Never forget the Gator? How on earth could you. He is the mother of all Choads, The Zen Master Douche, The Greatest Scrote of All Time. With a head shaped like the bottom half of a lava lamp, orange skin, and the look of a five year old told to sit in the corner for an hour, along with he "wardrobe", He is truly unforgetable. Die now, Gator and fuck you FishSlap, until you bleed.
 

kinda looks like Sting, but not as douche-y
 

Lauren Conrad has finally found a douche bigger than Brody Jenner!!!
 

Nice Hills reference, anon 5:16.

I recently stumbled across this cast of self-obsessed fetal-alcohol wrecks somewhere in the blogosphere (I gave up on MTV years ago) and have wondered how long it would take for them to get mentioned here. And by mentioned I mean beat down with a Buick drive shaft.

Spencer Pratt and Brody Jenner must die. It really is that simple.

And fuck Fish Slap.
 

He may be rich and ripped, but he's definitely never going to qualify for Mensa anytime soon. Check out these grammatical errors and misspellings from his web site http://www.scottalexander.tv/welcome.php

From his exotic car enterprise:
We can supply this ultimate dream machine in both LHD and RHD with fast delivery with zero premium. Enquiry today!

ENQUIRE today, dumbass! Or, if in the USA, INQUIRE!

From one of his diet sheets:
Fat Lose and Lean Gain

Fat LOSS and lean gain, CRETIN!

I'd read more of his web site, but I am almost peeing on myself from the intense laughter.

NUMBER ONE! ICHIBAN!!!!!!!

Clown.
 

It looks like our friend Gator opened up the Book of Cliches, slid his finger up and down the pages, and inserted any and all cliches into his myspace page which he felt "RAWKED!" and which captured his "Intense and passionate desire to be the biggest living dingleberry ever."

I think HCwDB.com should hold a contest to see who can create the best - and by that I mean worst - way to torture this rubbery waste of human vagueness.


Oh, and RANDY at Chicago's b96, come out come out wherever you are!
 

@squatch

What do you mean?!? This is the best place to pick up chicks.

I've got 3 dates tonight all because of this site. Too bad I had to rent 3 seperate rooms at the Sheraton in downtown Cleveland. I only wish they'd rent by the hour. Or by the minute. That would be nice.
 

@Plinky,

Well, I guess I just have to keep trying. Like Scott Alexander would. Because he's no-one. I mean, he's No1... My bad on the typo.

Maybe if I worked harder on my "pissed-off turkey that's just been basted look", I'd have better luck.

I can't tell if hottie is gazing lustfully at The Gator, or if she's annoyed by his scowling caveman routine. Either way.... mmmmmmmmmm Boobies!
 

@squatch

HAHAHA BITCHES THAT'S FUNNY I SEE YOUR STILL WEARIN' YOUR LEVI'S BITCHES WAIT RIGHT HERE BITCHES WHILE I GO CASH MY PHHHHHHAT CHECK THEN GO TO THE CLUB BITCHES WHERE THE HOTTEST PARTY IN TOWN WILL BE HELD BITCHES AND YOU MUTHERFUCKERS HAHAHA BITCHES CAN SIT IN YOUR MOMMY'S BASEMENT BITCHES IN YOUR LEVI'S BITCHES AND JERK OFF TO BITCHES. HAHAHAH.


What can I say, it's a slow morning. (Thank god)
 

you motherfuckers that alligator is my personal trainer take the photo down or i will have the BBC delete your page or i might have my TV morning show host friends fuckup this site and make it bleed like your scrotum after your computer programmer gets through pounding your ass when you visit him in the server room you motherfucking dorks
 

@plinky you live in cleveland? i do.
 

@reservoir yeah that ultrasound comment was priceless. i had to scroll back and find it. i just picture this little fetus with this scrote's face on it staring with that ridiculous face. ohh man funny shit. squatch thats your next project, photoshop the gator on to a baby. id do it but i actually have a project to complete today
 

ah fuck it, i did it anyway only took a minute.

the arms dont exactly match the orange gator face, but i gotta get shit done today:

http://www.theclevelandsteamer.com/gatorbaby.jpg
 

BCS:

Friggin' classic. Great work.

-Scrunt
 

@bcs

Yeah, the "East Side."
I work in Mentor and split my time between Eastlake (wife-to-be) and Concord.


Hey everybody, Scott Alexander wants us to know that he's our friend in dieting and training.
 

@bcs,

Thank God you did it instead of me. I'm as handy with Photoshop as The Gator is handy with complex concepts that don't involve posting pictures of himself on the Internet. Which means, the end result would have looked like something the autistic kid next-door would have come up with if you'd sat him down in front of grandma's computer with a box of Little Debbie snack cakes and a quart of double-sugar Kool-Aid.

Nice job. Sure hope my new niece doesn't look like that. I'd have to borrow a co-worker's power saw and head to Chicago... to kill the zombie!

Is hottie a Greek goddess? I'm still trying to figure that out. I'm also trying to figure out whether The Gator's schlort acts as a barometer.

We can learn much from The Gator...
 

nah it was a half ass effort if i put an hour or so into it would haunt your dreams

but i refuse to spend more than 5 minutes on anything involving the gator
 

@plinky are you fucking kidding me?

i work in willoughby
 

@bcs

I kid you not. At this moment I'm sitting in Mentor between Mentor Ave. and I-90. (sitting in a building, of course)

Small world.
 

wow crazy now i can throw in local references like "this douchebag is lamer than the boulevard of 500 flags"
 

oh and plinky, if you havent seen the eastlake myspace page before, then you havent truly lived:

http://www.myspace.com/eastlake_ohio
 

Here's another Gator pic - no color correction needed!
 

@xtina baguilera

Now that's some prime Gator!

So crispy looking. I can't wait to grab a fork! And knife. Hell, I'll bring a spork just in case.

You just made the entire Muslim world barf up a kidney. Congrats!
 

@bcs

The Eastlake homepage, eh? I'm afraid to look. But I'll check it out. I'm sure it's written in half English and half Croatian. (before DB1 shuts me down, my wife-to-be's parents are from Croatia. So DB1 I wasn't cracking on Croatians.)

And anything titled "The Boulevard of 500 Flags" needs to be burned to the ground.
 

Why, thank you, Squatch!

Everyone here, if a true Gator aficionado, should join his fan group here:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/scottalexander_no1/
 

@xtina OMG bravo! that is fucking classic
 

OK, Xtina. The comedy just writes itself here...

"Scott first became known for being No1". Welcome to modern celebrity, Scott!

"This group will keep you informed of all Scott's latest news, personnel appearances..." God forbid I'd get called into HR, and this scrote was waiting for me. I'd pack the fucking cardboard box myself.

Just looking at the first few discussion topics... How much of a self-worshipping fame whore can a person be? I thought Brittney topped the charts. The Gator is plowing full steam ahead for a Titanic-style collision with egocentricity.
 

@bcs - thanks! He is truly inspirational, is he not?
 

@squatch - I am so joining up. The hallmark of the true choad is the overpowering self-love, which expresses itself in the outward appearance. The Gator truly takes a back seat to no one - I mean, no1 - when it comes to self-adulation, and I must bask in the glow of his reflected glory.

Plus, your remark about the 'pissed-off turkey' gave me the idea for the pic.
 

http://www.scottalexander.tv/docs/scott-alexander-biography.php

i really think i may have just vomited...nope, scratch that...just still staring at his greasy muscleness...
 

What I really love is the 'official fan site' - as if to distinguish itself from the other thousands of 'unofficial fan sites' that have surely sprung up to adore him...
 

"Oh come let us adore him, Oh come let us adore him! Oh come let us adore him... Gaaa-aator Man!"

What? It's not too early for Christmas carols. Christmas commercials have been on for two weeks already.

Get in the spirit, people! Yay!
 

Gator and Fish Slap in the same week. What are you doing to us DB1?
 

Hey master of Photoshop AKA Pfah.....

Purg Hottie and Gator in the same pic. That would brighten up DB1's day.
 

From his website. His favorite watch is the

"Rolex, oyster 2 special addition in solid platinum, covered in diamonds, just like mine!!"

Oh, the special ADDITION, Einstein? Jeez, learn the correct word usage, you cro magnon leatherette fag.
 

BLUE EYES OF STEEL!

Nuff said.
 

The Gator on the Sharon Osborne show:

http://www.scottalexander.tv/docs/sharon-osbourne-scott-alexander-w.php
 

What a total pole smoker. Live to 130? You've got to be kidding me.

LOTD
 

I've just joined Gators yahoo group
we'll see if my message gets posted
 

Is this a burn victim that had to use old wallets for skin grafts?
 

100th post!!!

I'd like to thank the Academy, my parents, and, oh yeah Fuck Fish Slap.







aaaaaaaaand Gator.
 

Douchebag DEEluxe this guy is. Always looks like he's trying to "scan" you. Keep waiting for my head to explode.
 

May Pumpy rest in peace. May Gator drown in a pool of his own vomit.
 

Oh God, just read about this self-loving choadpocalypse.

http://www.sundaymirror.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=
17174012&method=full&siteid=62484&headline=
exclusive--in-this-most-vain-man-in-britain---name_page.html
 

Check out the dudes myspace profile. I think he is the douche of the year.
He said ALEXANDER......The desire to be number one. Not to accept second place or undertake any task without complete dedication, motivation, focus and application has been my driving force in being able to develop, apply and maintain a healthy body, strong mind and run a successful business portfolio. Nothing, I mean nothing is impossible, its all achievable!!!! I WOULD DESCRIBE MYSELF:- Disciplined, focused, driven, powerfull, determined, un-stoppable, man-mountain machine, passionate, persistant, resiltant, with a die hard, go forward attitude with a burning desire that only accepts the taste of SUCCESS!!!..... MY KEY POWER PHRASES:- 1)Focus, keep motivated, believe in yourself, and above all want it like your very existence depended on it like the air that you breath, then multiply it by 1000 per cent that’s the zone you need to be in, to be NO1 !! 2)Second place is just NOT an option. 3)To taste defeat is absolute failure, this is not acceptable, not an option, not a consideration under any circumstance
 

The guy has 50 million dollars and never smiles.
 

if i looked like thqat douche bag i would shoot my self