velvet track suits & afro Mercury wings... nice touch
 

Aren't those the Prompas?
 

inventor of Gator Ade dies? I thought they said inventor of "Gator's" AID's dies!
 

Orange you glad Joey came to this site today? Sad I know but it takes everything I can muster just to type while laughing hysterically. I don't think I've ever even seen a real female pictured in even one of his fine entries. Did they steal that mannequin from the Macy's in Hoboken last night? Do they even have a friggin Macy's in Hoboken?
 

quinesential vintage baggery. Like a fine wine. Its a suttle flavor, lacking kissy lips and bag hand gestures- not even a GG bottle in site! But the refined taste is still the same--- New Jersey sewage, JP brand elixir.

AHHhhh! satisfyingly repugnant
 

Ol' school O.B.'s... the one on the left keeps it so real he looks like a tampon.

Recognize...
 

Give Jersey a break--JP represents Great Neck/Queens. And to be fair, those track suits look way comfortable.
 

Joey P still sucks

I miss Pumpy. And the Platoon. More Douche Platoon please...
 

My god these guys need an interior decorator!! Look how bland that room is!!


Seriously, I don't even find these guys funny anymore. If they did this look for laughs I'd say "great, good one." But they're just plain fucking with us. It's not a look even stupid, ADD inflicted teenage kids can copy.
 

thanks for keeping it real DB1.

the girl in the photo (she's the one in the middle) actually was Joey's girlfriend, and might still be. she's so Jersey it's not even funny. and it's too bad she can't buy shoes that fit her.

they must all go to the same place to get their eyebrows waxed.

meat over there on our left looks like he might not have done so well on his SATs. maybe he got in on a basketball scholarship. or maybe he decided to not go to a university and go directly into the drug business. you know.....ACAPULO.

"dude! you wear the grey velour track suit and i'll rock the all-white one. bitchez won't know what hit 'em, ya digggg?"
 

Joey Porsche FTW !
 

It's like watching Night at the Roxbury on a lot of Nyquil.
 

If that's his girlfriend, does she know that he gets more pussy than a toilet seat?
 

Chick ain't even close to being hott, but to these 2 neanderthal puds shes a godess, the turd on the right looks like kazoo "or whatever his name" from the flintstones
 

She has nice boobs. That's the only good thing about this photo. Everything else is a prime example of everything that's wrong with Staten Island.
 

FLAVOR FLAV!!!!!!

...wait dont they need a big ass clock around their necks?

the key to scoring a pucker faced wanna be emo chick is to look exactly like one of your friends.

-LaDouchlian Tomlinscrote
 

I'd pay a prime rate to play scrabble with these three and discuss current events. I wonder if they vote with their pocketbooks or their conscience? I'm thinking Goldwater Republican types.
 

Yo, are these guys giants, or is she a midget, or are they on the set of a Michel Gondry video?

The orientation of the ceiling, their height are all off.

Their douchbaggery is not.
 

I believe that girl WAS Joey's girlfriend (though I don't remember seeing pics of her with bleached hair?), but his Myspace says he's single. Apparently not even SHE could handle that magnitude of doucheness.
 

i bet these 2 would be single in the gay or straight world
 

@anon 2:14 PM-

I may have to actually TRY watching Night at the Roxbury on Nyquil after that comment. Funny shit.

I'm starting to like these guys more and more. When you are THAT dedicated to a look, no matter how bad it is, you kinda have to respect it. I mean, I can see these guys chillin' at a bar, and Al Davis himself might one day walk up, and he'd be all "Nice suits, gentlemen." They'd just give a slight nod of acknowledgment, and perhaps knock fists.
Word.
 

Oh how i luv velour
Though I must admit, the guys are chillin, but the girl, had the ever so famous I am tough face on. Or is it a I am hot face? Or maybe, it is the I am a douchebag face.
 

It looks like a photo negative of some white twits standing in a black room.

The faded white spots on Real Doll's knees tell the story...
 

Jeeeesus. What do they put in the tanning bulbs in Jersey, nuclear waste? JP is rocking the puppy dog face- "please accept me, I am in pain from the last time you guys bludgeoned me with your fancy words... plus, this midget's hot, right?"
 

How adorable! They're wearing their moms' exercise outfits and she is wearing her big sister's shoes! It's fun to pretend!
 

I got herpes just looking at her.
 

What! No pinky ring?
 

Remember the movie Friday? That looks like Ice Cube's ghetto girlfriend.
 

And Deebo
 

"i'm gonna tuck mine's in."
 

Deebo was taller, but yeah.
 

are these guys 7 feet tall...
 

I mean, mah gawt! Look at the swollen mitts on that fellow in the white. You don't PET the jellyfish! Looks like a puffy cow ueterus!
 

udder...i mean cow udder...
 

Deebo would crush these two boys like something that easily crushes a smaller object. uh....like a Hummer running over a Kia. orrr..... like Rosie O'Donnell sitting on Verne Troyer.

you get the idea.

i hate douchebags.
 

Instant addition to Hall of Scrote. Attach it to the Prompas or the JPE, but put it in!
 

Those ceilings are actually really low because a standard interior door is 6'8" and the ceiling is right above that so those are 7' ceilings. Either very old place, basement, or bonus room.
 

Is it just me or do all east coast eye-talian douches have that same f*cking vomit-inducing haircut? Looks like a spikey pumpkin sitting on top of the head of a guy with a strange version of male pattern baldness in which the SIDES of one's head begin to lose hair at a very young age
 

yer telling me OTHERS are sporting that hair thing???! No, I say. NO. That's too much.
 

Fucking disgusting ass pimples on society's shitty ass. ALL THREE OF THEM.
 

Hey guys, you look different. Can't figure out what it is.

Did you get your hair cut? No, still the same "dishwashing brush" look. Hmm.

Wait, maybe you WASHED your hair? No, still smooth and greasy like industrial lubricant.

I know... you got a tan!! HA HA HA just kidding. You fuckers are always tan.

New outfit? New girl? Seriously, help me out here.

OH WAIT!

You're not puckering your lips like you're sucking dick.

Looks good on you. Really. Keep it up. Enjoy your afternoon jog.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

does anyone else here watch seinfeld?! this 'bags remind me of george when he draped himself in velvet hahahha
 

squatch where the hell are you!?!

(He's probably busy chasing down his ex-roommate and beating the piss out of him.)
 

Special Holiday Drink Recipe:

2 Cups Milk (Hot)
8 Tspns. Nestle Quick
1 Tspns. Irish Cream Coffee Flavoring

Stir together and enjoy!

Now I know you're asking "...but Kernal Kurtz, Where's the BOOZE?"

Well, I'm gettin' to that. You see, I'm already drunk, so I just take about three Vicodins and drool into the mug.

Happy Holidays!
 

I can't help but wonder if the three of them do each other's hair?
 

@ kernel kurtz


Holy crap that's funny.
I like to drool too.
 

wow.. i am very upset by this. all i can compare it too is Stienbeck's classic Of Mice and Men.. that has made an unfortunate stop in jersey. i don't think i need to tell you which one Lenny is. his curiosity for soft, cuddley things ends in the tragic killing of Curley's girl friend. those meat paws of Len'bag here are gonna end the life of the little inflated hott in the back of an IROC Z-28... so sad. as far as the brains of this operation, well, that would be or own JP. he is our George. tell us about the rabbits George. and when i say rabbits, i mean, tell us how you all got badly burned wearing flammable velour in a piro-tech incident watching a Bon Jovi cover band at Trenton night club.

apologies to John and the Stienbeck family..

scrotacus
 

For the anons who have recently joined in the fun:

First off, WELCOME!

We're glad you're here. Really. Even more glad if you're female exhibitionists with nice racks and lower-than-average standards in "nice" guys. Sexy librarian types move to the head of the line, please. Thank you.

Secondly, what you're seeing here is prime Jersey choadness. Please note:

the bottle tans that resemble sun-rotted Florida citrus;

the "Gotti Blowout" hair that's accomplished with three pounds of Man-teca pomade and two hours of sculpting with ma's pasta fork;

the watch the size of a Hyundai wheel cover, with the white band;

the "ice" solitaire ear studs (ironic use of words here);

the wardrobe carefully selected to coordinate with, and especially appeal to, other members of the guido scrote syndicate;

and finally, the bleeth who, in an all-too-recent past was known as Allison, that nice, quietly attractive girl down the street who used to babysit for her neighborhood's kids and was active in her parish Senior Outreach Program. But then she met JP at the 7-11 and became infected with the Grieco virus. Now her family prays to Saint Veronica on her behalf several times a day, and her grandmother is arranging for an exorcism by Father D'Amato.

Any more questions? Feel free to ask!

And fuck Fish Slap.
 

@scrotacus

Excellent analogy.

A literary man I see?

Maybe throw in a Faulkner reference; an ode to Benjy Compson perhaps?

I think I'm going to drink kernal kurtz's concoction, take 3 or 4 vicodins, and re-read The Sound and the Fury.

Good times.
 

Oh wow, that's too easy seeing this debacle. Are these guys actually serious? They look like caricatures.

And the spinner in the middle, I wonder if tipping her over and giving her a grudge plug would sweat off her tan? If sweating out weaves isn't enough...

I need a call on this. Are tracksuits/sweatsuits inherently douche? Are only the velour suits douche? Or, is it the wearer douching hard that makes it so?
 

@orel 11:21

track suits in a night club = douche
velour worn by anyone under 53 = douche
jersey scrotes wearing velour tracksuits = irreconcilable douchosity!

scrotacus
 

The guy on the left is not that big really. My guess is 6'2" tops. They just look bigger next to the girl. The girl has a great bod now, but that same build turns to fat cow by 30. And to the earlier poster who wants this pic included in HOS, you gotta be kidding me. this is the most "normal human" JP pic yet.
 

AAAAAAAH! Bracing! There's nothing like the classics. God bless you, JP. God bless you, the soil you walk on and the women you soil. Among the endless stream of posers and wannabes we see posted here every day, you are like a breath of fresh air. Albeit fresh air with the acrid tang of AXE, Grey Goose and something that smells like bleach or raw shrimp.

And you brought company!

With that earring, the plucked brows, the sensible haircut, the guyliner and pink lipsdick, Giant Joey bears an uncanny and wholly disquieting resemblance to the lesbian gym coach I had in junior high. In fact, if he had shaved calves, hairy thighs and a dolphin short cameltoe, I'd probably go into some sort of repressed memory seizure right now. I'm going to go find a spoon to bite down on just in case.
 

haha, good ol' Joey, I am one of the lucky few who has him in my myspace friends list, every so often I go and check up on him and his little escapades... redefining douchebag since 2006 that one lol
 

i ahve him n myspace as a friend also,go there often makes for great reading,he has like 8000 friends
 

I really do think that this is Prompa: the return....and he has an oversized sidekick. The Hott leaves something to be desired, as I think she's starting to become quite Bleeth, but all the same.
 

Ah, little Joey, I'd nearly forgotten. Like a raging case of herpes, you come back just when we thought we'd finally seen the last of you.

My only regret is that he hid his Myspace profile ... I was so hoping to hear the exciting conclusion to whether he should name himself Joey Porsche or Joey Carrera. I'm sure that's what attracted Miss Natural Blond here when he met her at the bus station looking for her underwear ... he's such a deep thinker.
 

@thin white douche - Maybe that's because her pussy IS a toilet seat. Damn fine handle, by the way; wish I'd thought of it. The Thin White Duke would be proud. Or offended. Kudos.
 

"If it were socially acceptable, I'd drape myself in velvet." - George Costanza
 

That bitch looks like Gizmo from the movie Gremlins, but blonde. The other two dirty Guidos should be thrown in a wood chipper.

God, how I hate fucking Guidos.
 

I could use a carrot.
 

He wore douuuuche velvet (whoa-whoa-whoa) Oranger than carrots were his thighs...
 

I am somewhat new to this site, but I have fond memories of my first douchebag...Joey fuckin Carerra...ya diggggg? I'm not sure when he first enriched all of our lives with his perfect parody of all things douche, but is it too early to nominate JP for Douchebag of the Year?
 

Giants??? No way!!! The are Italian remember?? I am guessing that chick is 4'3"

Marcos Douchebagdatis
 

What Joey fuckin Carerra needs is a big, red rubber nose, checkered pants with suspenders, and huge floppy shoes.

Then he needs to be beat with a rubber hose.
 

I swear I saw the short one working at the newark airport last week. I almost dropped my luggage...and puked.
 

I have a feeling the one on the left is a giant. Look at his mit. The dudes hands are like Shaq's.
Also, This girl is so fucking hott. She has that "fuck me and dont pull out" look in her eyes.

Ya know what Im sayin???

You all know what Im sayin!
 

It's true those suits seem soft and comfortable! Is Joey in white or gray? They look so similar.
 

Is it legal in the USA to go out in pajamas?? Is it legal for them to be orange??? Is it legal to use that hair????, Is it legal that giant italian low budget mafia douche to use color lipstick????

But most important....... Is it legal to have such a hot bodied girl without any bodyguard to avoid the attack of douchebags???????

Hans "I had surgery hence my absence" Von Douchepants
 

It's photos like these that make me fall to my knees and thank God I don't live in Jersey.
 

It's like a car wreck...painful to look at but you just can't help but slow down and stare.
 

These guys never cease to amaze me.

Colonel Kurtz:(dying) "The horror...the hair...hair..."

Douchepacalypse Now Redux
 

so is joey aware that he is one of the most know/unknown douchebags on the planet? i think that someone should make him aware of this...god i hate guidos...im italian and thats just a shame to our culture...
 

I always thought of myself as being Pro-Life. Seeing this picture makes me question my beliefs.
 

suburban guiney homos
 

Oh No! It's the Oompa Prompas! I almost overlooked them because they weren't wearing their Rodney Dangerfield Caddyshack club wear. God help us all if this is what they look like dressed casual.

And you can't really consider her a Hott. More like a Ho, especially with that silvery eye makeup. What'd she do, get a spraycan of aluminum muffler paint and blast it on her mug?
 

"What'd she do, get a spraycan of aluminum muffler paint and blast it on her mug?"

Back in the day we called that color Filipino Chrome!