I'm already having a crisis. I can't figure out which category The Creeper falls under.

Can you hear that whistling sound? That's the sound of this contest sucking hours away from my life.
 

i nominate ricky for orange.
 

Prompas for Orange.

I was all set to nominate Banana Hott for something, but I see she already has her own category.

I'm not sure to make of the singular in 'Douchiest Popped Collar'... is a guy with a whole lot of popped collars disqualified?

This could eat up a lot of time...
 

Sheeeiiitttt...If my badass wigga homie White Chocolate don't win "Cheesiest Bling" fo' his phat platinum toofuses, y'all, 'den 'dese awards is WHACK, yo!
9-3-7 in da hizzay!
 

You Always Were a Douchebag's hottie for Girl-Next-Door Hott
 

DB1, I envy and commend your organizational skillz. Keeping all of these douches straight is a statistical nightmare.

I will give this list some serious thought and email you my nominations.

BTW I think the superhero category was made juts for Bat Bag!
 

What about the "Best Foreign Douche" category? Certainly you cannot overlook my countrymen.

-- The Prime Minister of Douchebekistan
 

prompas for orange

limey pornstar hottie for hottest hott
 

that chick in the lip tat picture was unreal, i still have her in the spank bank. Hottest hott fo sho.
What about a category for drunkest douche who posts regularly on this site, and then makes fun of his own picture before it is revealed that the picture is actually of him. I would nominate squatch for that.
 

Fish Slap for "most trashcan to the head worthy"
 

This is not something that can be accomplished while at work. I have to do this at home where I have adequate time to collate, organize, gather, group, and piss on. Oh, fuck it. Not like I have a real job anyway. Taxpayers pay me anyway, so all of you know this: next time an 85 billion iraq bill goes through, you're paying my HCwDB bill.
 

Yes!!! I am filled with a sense of excitement now, and by excitement I mean gas.

Lemme think on it....

...and by think on it I mean let others do the foot work and then cherry pick from their comments.

I have managerial timbre.
 

GAAAAHHHH!

Why so many categories, DB1???? To have to trawl through an entire year's worth of sewage like that-? It's just cruel!

Now that that's off my chest, I'll start meditating on things. And by meditating, I mean swallowing my own vomit back down.

Oh, yeah. I would like to propose, if I may, special recognition for a special bag hunter: K-Hottie (and the Hott Squad). They are the awesome!
 

What the **bleep** is this?!?

First I'm given homework at this site - watch a bunch of filthy lesbian videos followed up by some weird, macochistic video Olympics -and now I'm being asked to sift through a year's worth of pictures and decide on 1, and only 1, for Douchebag of the year?

You gotta be kidding. I didn't sign up for all this work. I want my money back! What kind of College is this?!?

Ehhh, I'll do what Noonan said and sift through these things at night alone in the dark so I can play with mysel ... errrrrrr, touch mysel ... errrrr, fondle mysel ... errrrrr ... I'm still drunk.
 

I think there should be an award added, called "The Ricky". This could be awarded to the douche who, over time, we come to love.

Lifetime achievement should go to Pumpy.

Orange to the Prompas.

Hottest girl-next-door goes to my redhead.

please hold on for further research and nominees, i actually have to work today.
 

plinky, HCwDBotY is restricted to monthly winners only. Not that that helps, with 12 Scrotes a-Scrotin' and a partridge in a pear tree...
 

JUST the monthly's!

That eliminates a few that I was thinking of. Both Dbags and HC's alike!
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

Hey, Mitch --

There's this:

"These can be specific pics with one attribute worthy of recognition, even if the overall pic isn't a Weekly Winner or Hall of Scrote caliber."

So that opens the field, right?

Maybe we can get some clarification here, DB1?

Many thanks.
 

When's my deadline again?!?

Holy hot pocket, DB1, this task is nearly impossible. I'll need a whiteboard, three dozen markers, a case of Southern Comfort, and a hard rubber mallet. (The mallet is too numb my own mental anquish.

So many categories, so many choads.

So much hott. Well, there's hott, and then there's award-worthy hott.

Of two things I am certain, however, and I support the
campaigns fiercely RIGHT NOW:

Pumpy for the Thallbag (thanks, bcs)

Fish Slap for Most Trashcan-to-the-Head Worthy (props to anon 6:23 for kicking things off)

Good luck to the rest of you, gentlemen.

And ladies. (Where are you, anyway?)
 

@ mitch meats


This is too much thinking for me. My inadequate brain cannot handle such added pressure and stress. The ramifications of this contest are too great for a simpleton like me to comprehend, let alone participate in voting.

I need to go to a corner, curl up, and put my thumb in my mouth and tell myself, "This is your happy place. This is your happy place. This is your ..."
 

So, how was everybody's weekend? Anybody watch any good scat porn? I'm looking at you, plinky. And I have a one cup.

Oh, right, the Douchies. I'll throw a couple of noms out now. Because I don't feel like working:

The Bag Islander's gal (a.k.a., Boot Strap Bikini girl) still haunts my dreams. I'll go with Hottest Hott for her.

For Librarian Glasses....um....I only remember the Luke Skybagger gal, a little Tina Fey-lette. I enjoyed her.

Ugh, all these other categories. It's like trying to vote for the best nut-filled turd category: are peanuts or almonds worse? (Plinky, care to chime in?) The horror.
 

@ reservoir douche

I know I bragged I'd watch those videos over the weekend but sadly I did not. I think tonight will be the night, as the wife is watching that attrocious, mind numbing, vapid show called The Hills.

I must admit I don't spend much time hating on television programs because 1. it's not worth my energy, and 2. because I can always change the channel, but THIS show enrages me. It's the most idiotic thing I've ever been subjected to. It's like looking at my new avatar. Just sheer stupidity.

And I want to know right now, who the **censored** hacked into my blog and stole Gary Gnu?!?
Show yourself, come forward!!!!
 

For bagling...
White by Unpopular Happenstance
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB10196-797660.jpg
 

10/05/07 Friday Haiku

Most polluted... THEY'RE COVERED IN OIL!!!

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB10014-750406.jpg
 

Hottest Hott

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB11015-759989.jpg
 

I just finished reviewing January. How did Donkey Douche not make the HoS? He is Legend. I nominate him for Orange.
 

Well let me start off with the hotts...... Hottest Hott hands down Pocahontas II. If you have a problem with that T-Dogg will cut your ass.

Hottest girl next door (AKA the Kelly Belly award) The hott from the bag/not a bag with the skinny Howard Stern lookiing kid. If there was no Poca, she would have got the hottest hott award. Poca could win that award as well, but we need a little diversity.

Innocent getting grease tackled..... The Bumper. Yeah you still got a place in my bagslaying heart baby.

Sexiest Librarian glasses.....Kelly Belly. She qualifies because she was in 2 pics.

Best boobies..... Again the chick from the bag/not a bag with the Howard Stern looking kid.

Most expensive first date hott.....Purg Hottie. Yup.... Hott like that doesn't come cheap.

Best future ex wife, Purg Hottie. I would say Black Betty, but I'm not sure if you two hooked up.

Douchiest Hott..... Uhm..... Any female that requested a takedown. They know who they are. For one that's on the site.....uhm....the skank with Joey Porsche.

I will give you the bags and couples a little later.
 

Douchiest Douche-Face...goes to Gator any man who won’t crack a smile cause they don't want to wrinkle is a douche. I bet he irons his balls so they will appear supple and youthful...Oh my god I just pictured his balls ...does that make me gay...must search for lesbian porn to feel better about my self...

Aka Dirtybuttbagg
 

Can there be a most trashcan-to-the-head worthy for the Hott Chicks? DB1 did a good job selecting the Hotts, but there are a few that slipped through the cracks. One of those few should get a trash-can-to-the-head... or at least the award. Speaking of wanting a trashcan to the dome, Greengenes and Douchebags from January is beggging for one.
 

@ Danny, Donkey Douche is in the Hall. all 5 pics of his sorry ass.
 

oh and one more catagory for the douchie combo awards: Douchiest Doggy-Style

There was a ton of those thorughout the year...
 

OK!

For the 'Bags:

Spikiest Hair- BOING!

Cheesiest Bling- Douche Gossage

Douchiest Douche-Face- Easter Island Head

Most Innovative New Douche Maneuver- Ricky

Most Annoying Hand Gesture- Wonderbag (for its shocking honesty)

Most Annoying 'Baglings- THE Bagling Himself-Ricky!

Orange- Orange Man Group (JP et al)

Surrealist Dada Douche- Tonguehotts and Youth Bag (aka DJ Scrotey Boy)
Greatest Crisis of Modernity- DJ Scrotey Boy

Smells Like Poo- The Limey

Most trashcan-to-the-Head Worthy- Fish Slap (he's runnin away with it)

Douchiest Popped Collar- Tony from the Dealership

For the Hott Chicks:

Hottest Hott- Princess & the Pud Redhaed.

Hottest Girl-Next-Door- Bag Island

Hottest Innocent Getting Grease-Tackled- The Greasers

Sexiest Librarian Glasses- Fluke Skybagger (aka my wife ten years ago)

Best Boobies That The DB1 Wants to Paw Like an Epileptic Watching Pokemon- Friday Haiku 10-5-07

Hottest Dress that Resembles a Banana Peeling Itself- Um. Duh. Olive Loaf. Why is this even a category?

Sweetest Smile of Innocence Plus Raunch- Brokeback Bucky

Best DB1's Future Ex-Wife Hott-Fluke Skybagger

Most Expensive First Date Hott- Velvet Jones

Douchiest Hott (The Douchebaguette)- Limey

Douchie Combo Awards:

Douchiest Guido Couple- Joey Porche & Mikey [wants a] Big Unit.

Most Likely to Procreate A Bottle of Hair Gel- Olive Loaf

Douchiest Superhero Combo- BatBag

Worst Polluted 'Bag/Bleeth- Either Limey or ALL of Long Island Sound

And of course the biggie: HCwDB of the Year.- THE GATOR!

And finally, we'll be handing out the Irving Thallbag Lifetime Achievement Award to someone special. -RIP Pumpy.
 

@d B.A.G.
Aha. Thanks. In the immortal words of Jack Nicholson: "Don't I feel like the fucking asshole"

Danny Noonan
 

The Irving Thallbag Lifetime Achievement Award needs to immediately be renamed "The Pumpy" and he is the inaugural winner. Why is any deliberation even required here?
 

Where's Waldouche award?
Bag-Hunter of the Year award?

DB1, feel free to smite me for trying to alter your end-of-the-year format... but before you do:

The Blogger Awards:

Best Bag-Hunter
Most Illiterate
MOST CAPITAL LETTERS
Hottest Wife (must submit shower pic to nominate)
Best Haiku
Best Limerick
Best Avatar
Blogger of the Year
 

If there is any justice in this world, make Bag islander winner of biggest doucheface. That picture creates the awkward mixture of me hysterically laughing and making my blood boil with rage.
 

@ Anon 8:33

There is no doubt the life-time achievement award is going to Pumpy. That's the only catagory more automatic than Bag of the Year. I think DB1 has already started on his "acceptance" speaches in honor of Pumpy and the Gator.
 

Batbag qualifies for like 11 categories. He really spans the entire spectrum of douchery. He demands recognition -- spew some all over his douchey glasses.
 

other category options:
scrotes:
Biggest Mandana
Guido-est
Most Likely to actually be gay

Hott:
most likely to be a man
Most Doe-like
Best hott on a boat

I will have to check the annals before making nominations...
 

Wow bag hunter of the year award....... that is a tough one. No offense to those that post daily as myself, but Sock has been the most consistent bag hunter of them all. It should be called the Pfah awar for baghunter of the year.

hottest wife goes to Pfah

best avatar ....... King of Photoshop, Pfah.

most caps, Randy


There was one Haiku i liked more than all of my own. I forget the day, but it went like this:

Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong
Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong
this is just so wrong.


I'd be interested in DB1's list. I mean it's enough that he runs the site, but I still want more.
 

Purg Hottie on the Prowl, Rooster Wank & Hott, Jack Scrotington, Douche or Dhali, Pumpy Pumpy Pumpy.
 

I'm going to need a lot of crank and scat porn to be able to get through so much work.

Who know this job was going to require so much work. Damn you, DB1.

And, by damn you, I mean, thank you, for giving my life meaning. Seeing bags on a daily basis is like watching Cops; no matter how shitty my day may be...at least I'm not them.
 

thanks b.a.g.! i am most honored to be mentioned. my wife got her eyes checked this past weekend, got glasses, and now i'm living with a hott librarian.

this is going to be quite a challenge to gather nominations. holy shite. time to get crackin' i suppose.

hope you bitches had a nice weekend.
 

Douchiest Popped Collar: the Guy With a Lot of Popped Collars
 

Unforgettables....

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB8152-700735.jpg

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB8117-700415.jpg

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB8041-791683.jpg

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB8055-783384.jpg

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB8024-758005.jpg

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2007/08/pocahontas-ii-electric-bagaloo.html

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB8183-733604.jpg
 

@ pfah

Your wife got here eyes checked, go her glasses, saw what she's married to and shrieked, "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!? AHHHHHHHHHHHH, HELP ME!!"


(sorry dude, you set yourself up for that one)
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

actually Plinky, my Saturday went exactly like that.

nice one. you're right, i totally lofted that one up there for you.

nice new avatar my friend.

now, back to the archives for me!
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

middle Lei Hottie for hottest hott.
 

I agree with BvG. I'm not sure what category he deserves to be nominated for, and perhaps I don't even care. But something tells me the only way to rid that thing off the face of the Earth is to complete the Karmatic circle and give him the award he so richly deserves. So far trashcan-to-the-head sounds like the best, but I'm not sure it goes deep enough. Maybe Buick-to-the-groin?
 

For the 'Bags:

Spikiest Hair – Douchesplosion, White Buckwheat, The Crystalline Scroteflake
Cheesiest Bling – Pearls Jam
Douchiest Douche-Face – The Bottle, Double D Supreme, ‘Bag Island
Most Innovative New Douche Maneuver – Jesus Christ Doucherstar, Gasface
Most Annoying Hand Gesture – Peaches. Take your pick, they all look the same.
Most Annoying 'Baglings – Ehco and the Baggymen, Joey Porsche and Friends
Orange – The Orang-u-tans, Oompa-Prompa
Surrealist Dada Douche – Douche or Dali, Harry Beaver, Link II: Punk Douche
Greatest Crisis of Modernity – Memphis Choad, The San Francisco Art Bag, No More K-Scrote
Smells Like Poo – Coona Tee-Tocky Malia?, Tatman Begins
Most trashcan-to-the-Head Worthy – The Gator, Ab Lobster
Douchiest Popped Collar – Poppy and Clara, The Dude With a Lot of Popped Collars

For the Hott Chicks:

Hottest Hott – Ebony and Ivory (are bags) hott
Hottest Girl-Next-Door – The Blister hott
Hottest Innocent Getting Grease-Tackled – Poppy and Clara hott, Ass hottie, The Surreal Life hott
Sexiest Librarian Glasses – Squiggy hott
Best Boobies That The DB1 Wants to Paw Like an Epileptic Watching Pokemon – Mega Man blonde hott, More Saturday Creeper
Hottest Dress that Resembles a Banana Peeling Itself – The Olive Loaf hott
Sweetest Smile of Innocence Plus Raunch – Where’s Waldouche: Pool Party Edition (chick in the green-leaf bikini), Your Morning Boobies/Choad
Most Expensive First Date Hott – Spiderbag hott, T-Bag hott
Douchiest Hott (The Douchebaguette) – Fish Slap’s hott (e.g. Halloween HCwDB Costumes)

Douchie Combo Awards:

Douchiest Guido Couple – Billy Go Potty, Jersey Spew
Most Likely to Procreate A Bottle of Hair Gel – The Fly
Douchiest Superhero Combo – Mega Man
Worst Polluted 'Bag/Bleeth - Bagfoot

And of course the biggie: HCwDB of the Year. – Fish Slap
 

Hey DB1, for those of us who have chosen to do our research and compile our lists for the year end awards during our 'leisure time,' could ya throw out a fresh piece of meat (a picture) today so we can wet our whistles?

And believe me good sir I do take participation in this contest with the utmost seriousness; I just need a little somethin'-somethin' to get me through the workday.
 

Oompa Prompa sticks out the most of any douche in my mind. He is freaking orange, and look at his spikey hair and clothes. Douche of the year.

Joey Porsche is trash can to the head worthy and the douchiest face.

Rooster Wank's hottie is the hottest.

The Batbag and his sidekick make the douchiest superhero combo, especially Batbag with his open shirt showing sagging man tits and douchey tattoo, plus greasy bleeched hair and sunglasses,

Jurassic Douche
 

And for the girl's categories, may I also request "Best eye fuck." Ok, that may get misinterpreted. No, it ISN'T the same as skull fuck.
Ok. Whatever you want to call it, it is the award for the look by a hott that most says she is picturing the reader naked and being ridden, hard, by said hott. The look that best says "I'll ride YOU hard and put YOU away wet, ya greasy douchebag." This is an important award for me because so MANY of the hotts look at me this way.
here and here are a couple of ok examples. But who should be the real winner?
 

I really think Gary Abusey from Tuesday, Nov. 20th has to win something. I was hoping he'd be nominated for HCwDB of the Week, but perhaps he can be nominated for most "trash-can to the head worthy?" Those douches that have to front the whole "anger" thing really get my blood flowing in the "homicide" direction.
 

DB1, i think you should really compile a list with pictures of notables over the last year. you can't expect us to do all the legwork here! we got real jobs! (sort of)
 

More unforgettables

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB6140-773945.jpg

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB7004-747799.jpg

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB6113-715775.jpg

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB5051-739027.jpg


OMG THIS ONE
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB6135-769618.jpg

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB6088-759839.jpg

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB6008Haiku-716372.jpg

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB6027-712848.jpg
 

@Douche Vader 10:46 AM,

Eye-fucking you??? I thought they were eye-fucking me!

Well, hell, that's a disappointment.

Dammit...

Make sure you have fun out there, everybody! If you're having a particularly tough time making a choice, relax a little with some dancing Christmas douchebags.
 

@ douche vader

What, exactly, is wrong with Best Skull Fuck as a category?

Don't be a hater, dude. Skull Fucking's gonna make the Olypmics some day.
 

And for the biggest idiot award, I'd like to nominate myself for not actually mentioning BY NAME the douchebag I was nominating in my first post.
Sigh. The Creeper for trashcan-to-the-head, Buick to the groin, or perhaps even DB of the year.

@Plinky
Hey, I'd be all for a Best Skull Fuck category...it is just that, from what we've seen on HCwDB, the material we've got to work with is a little thin. I have a feeling that THOSE pictures, DB1 saves for his own personal stash. Can you blame the selfish bastard?
 

@douchetorious B.A.G.
Third pic down from your most recent unforgettables reminds me...we need a "longest face" category for the hotts.
 

if you like skull-fucking, you'll love this video
 

I'm only through April. So far:
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB3161-724277.jpg

takes the cake for hottest hott.
 

@ Danny Noonan

Meh.

This October was a banner month for hotts.

Brokeback Bucky's Hott's Dress deserves an award all to itself.

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB10021-744661.JPG
 

The Douchies are tough to judge though. Everyone's list will not be the same. Like Gaytor is not getting on my list at all.
 

ok fellow 'baghunters, here's my nominations. DB1, i think you'll approve. here we go:

For the 'Bags:

Spikiest Hair: ‘Bags of Steel, Jeff Reed
Cheesiest Bling: anything worn by Joey Porsche & Crew
Douchiest Douche-Face: Donkey Douche
Most Innovative New Douche Maneuver: Doggie ‘Baggin’
Most Annoying Hand Gesture: The Peaches & ‘Bag Island finger point
Most Annoying 'Baglings: Fraggle Choad
Orange: Oompa Prompa
Surrealist Dada Douche: Rooster Wank
Greatest Crisis of Modernity: The Ab Lobster
Smells Like Poo: The Raccoon
Most trashcan-to-the-Head Worthy: Fish Slap
Douchiest Popped Collar: A Dude With A Lot of Popped Collars

For the Hott Chicks:

Hottest Hott: The Pogo Stick, the hott on our far right.
Hottest Girl-Next-Door: Beastie ‘Bag’s girl
Hottest Innocent Getting Grease-Tackled: Coffee ‘Bag’s girl
Sexiest Librarian Glasses: Mt. Everest’s girl
Best Boobies That The DB1 Wants to Paw Like an Epileptic Watching Pokemon: Fall Out ‘Bag’s girl
Hottest Dress that Resembles a Banana Peeling Itself: The Olive Loaf’s girl
Sweetest Smile of Innocence Plus Raunch: Less Cowbell
Best DB1's Future Ex-Wife Hott: Purg Hottie
Most Expensive First Date Hott: Brokeback Bucky’s girl
Douchiest Hott (The Douchebaguette): Bree

Douchie Combo Awards:

Douchiest Guido Couple: The Gator & anyone
Most Likely to Procreate A Bottle of Hair Gel: The Dutch-bag
Douchiest Superhero Combo: Johhny Blaze and Joey Porsche
Worst Polluted 'Bag/Bleeth: The Creeper & Bree

HCwDB of the Year: Pumpy
 

Next to the Stanley Cup thats got to be the greatest trophy in history.
 

The Gator is a lock for Douche of the year.
 

DB of the year nominees:

Peaches

The Crustacean

Trainwreck

The Gator

Lifetime Achievement: Pumpy
 

I didn't do this much research on my thesis.
 

@ol' dirty douchebag.... no shit man. my brain is tired. thankfully it's a slow day in the World of Pharmaceutical Advertising.
 

The Blogger Awards:

Best Bag-Hunter
Most Illiterate
MOST CAPITAL LETTERS
Hottest Wife (must submit shower pic to nominate)
Best Haiku
Best Limerick
Best Avatar
Bag Hunter of the Year
 

The Blogger Awards:

Best Bag-Hunter
Most Illiterate
MOST CAPITAL LETTERS
Hottest Wife (must submit shower pic to nominate)
Best Haiku
Best Limerick
Best Avatar
Bag Hunter of the Year
 

oops - Bag Hunter is repeated twice... I was trying to create a catagory for K Hottie's outstanding field work.

Pfah, any nominees for the Blogger Awards?
 

goddamn the double post!
 

Who was it that had the avatar of a kid kicking Ricky in the groin?
 

Don't forget the "one hobo glove shocker" from Limey for hand gesture.
 

Here's DarkSock's NOMINATIONS FOR THE ABOMINATIONS OF DOUCHE-NATION:

For the 'Bags:

Spikiest Hair - Field of Wheat

Cheesiest Bling - The Limey

Douchiest Douche-Face - Joey Porsche

Most Innovative New Douche Maneuver � Doggy Bagg aka TrainWreck

Most Annoying Hand Gesture - The Limey

Most Annoying 'Baglings - Lei Hotties and the Puberchoad

Orange � the Orang-u-tans from Monday, September 03, 2007; go there BEFORE you automatically vote for Oompa Prompa�

Surrealist Dada Douche - Douche or Dali; duh

Greatest Crisis of Modernity - The Species Killer

Smells Like Poo � The Creeper

Most trashcan-to-the-Head Worthy � Fish Slap (fuck him)

Douchiest Popped Collar - Zebra

For the Hott Chicks:

Hottest Hott � Bag Islander: boot lace bikini girl

Hottest Girl-Next-Door � Brokeback Bucky�s angel woman (mid November?)

Hottest Innocent Getting Grease-Tackled � Train Wreck�s bent-over woman

Sexiest Librarian Glasses � Kelly Belly - no contest

Best Boobies That The DB1 Wants to Paw Like an Epileptic Watching Pokemon - Boobies Spake Zarathustra; also my nomination for best side-boob of the year if such a category materializes...

Hottest Dress that Resembles a Banana Peeling Itself - Olive Loaf�s Hott; duh-huh

Sweetest Smile of Innocence Plus Raunch - Brokeback Bucky�s angel woman

Best DB1's Future Ex-Wife Hott - Purg Hottie

Most Expensive First Date Hott � Olive Loaf�s Banana Girl

Douchiest Hott (The Douchebaguette) � Jessika from Douche or Dali

Douchie Combo Awards:

Douchiest Guido Couple � Joey Porsche and the big orange dude that�s with him in every picture that protects/rapes his Great Neck Butthole on the regular

Most Likely to Procreate A Bottle of Hair Gel � Joey Porsche (hon. mention: Johnny Blaze)

Douchiest Superhero Combo � Gladiator-style Fish Slap

Worst Polluted 'Bag/Bleeth � Jessika from Douche or Dali; I mean, c�mon seriously LOOK AT HER�.

And of course the biggie: HCwDB of the Year - GATOR; honorable mention Peaches & Fish Slap (fuck him)
 

Douche-Face: JP
Annoying Hand Gesture: The Shocker
Orange: Prompa
Trashcan to the Head: Bag Islanders
Surrealism: STD Twins
Popped Collar: Dude with a lot of popped collars

Hottest Hott: Purg
Innocence Plus Raunch: Power of Douche-Face's Hott

Douchiest Guido Couple: JP plus ex
Superheroes: Gladiator Slap
Worst Polluted Bleeth: JP in HoS picture

DB of the year: Gator

And what happened to Ricky's category? Oh, and Fuck Fish Slap.
 

The Gator all the way.
 

I nominate the chick on the far left of Dante's Assferno for "Hottest Hott."

Take a look:

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2007/09/dantes-assferno.html

Words can't describe that ass.
 

May I nominate The Gator for everything? Also, is there the possibility of a Pumpy Memorial Award for the Douche every year who embraces, and finds humor in his appearance on this board. Just a thought.
 

Peaches for DB of the Year...he's like a magician whose only trick is getting the hotties!

I think he's self-aware which makes him even more impressive!
 

hottest hottie goes to Snuggles - she doesn't even need to take off thoe pink sweats...mr. happy will cut an incision in the perfect spot and break thru to nirvana.
 

Sorry for the confusion, guys. DB1, correct me if I'm wrong, but a Douchie can go to any bag of outstanding merit regardless of elevation to weekly/monthly status. And by outstanding merit, I mean post-nacho fecal drip.

To wrest the coveted HCwDBotY away from Glinty, I'm sure the DB1 will post a truly epic 12-man 'Baggle Royale, much like the monthly but with a lot more retching, if that's even possible. So save your yearly votes. Don't haphazardly vote for the early favorite, Gator, without considering the up-and-coming spewmeisters like Crusty or Ab Lobster.

I think we should also start taking bets. Winner buys drinks at Rehab.
 

My 2 cents:

Meritorious Achievement in Schlubbaggery: Th Boob

Cancer 'Bag Sympathy Award: Pirates 2: Douche Man's Chest

The Peter Griffin: Chin Ass

That's all I got for now,and that's just January...
 

Wheatstalkiest? July 07.

I just killed myse....

-Sir Douche-a-Lot the Third
 

I'm starting to think the Napkin Nights "girl" featured in the Sting Lundgren photo above--and also in a pic with the Creeper a few weeks back--should get a nod for Douchebaguette. Or "Girl Who Makes Me Vomit in My Mouth the Most Often." I can't explain or justify the creeping hate I feel for "her," but I must recognize it if I can ever be set free.
 

greatest crisis of modernity has to be: Shirtdouche Epidemic

there used to be a no shirt, no shoes no service clause. no it appears a choad waxed chest and flip flops get you anywhere in this country.
 

Best Boobies That The DB1 Wants to Paw Like an Epileptic Watching


boobie sun god hands down.

and the Douche of the year: peaches is my pick.

the gator is truly from another alternate douchiverse so he should receive the lifetime award.
 

Douchiest popped collar is not even a contest considering he had three of them:

The Dude With a Lot of Popped Collars
 

Too many comments to read through this late, so I hope I'm simply echoing an earlier sentiment. The original Trainwreck for Hottest Hott. That Bag with the four popped collars for the popped collar award (although the Zebra was vastly underrated). Scrotisserie Chicken for Douchiest Douche Face, Orange goes all the way back to Fecal Cough, and HCwDB of the Year: Velvet Jones. The man is just so smooth.

Also, Lifetime Douchievement Award for Pumpy. We can have a hot Native American chick accept it for him.
 

I vote Shirtdouche Epidemic as HCwDB of the year

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB11074-746335.jpg

Come on, just look at him, he has no shirt on in an upscale bar! What a fag bag!
 

Douche of the year
The Gator. Come on, no question about it.

Innovative Bag Manuever= Monkey Straw or April 29 Bag or Not

Trash can to head= Donkey Douche

Hottest HOt= Blue Triangle

Douchiest Douche Face= Peaches or Cro Bagnon

Spikiest Hair= Stewbag or Firefly

Orange=STD's

Dada Douche= Mr. Clean or Wrinkle Turd

Hottest Innocent getting grease tackled= Ab Lobster or Aquabag

Douchiest couple= Racoon or Douchetron
SMells like Poo=Racoon
 

Most bleethed out hottie: the chick with the Choad Warrior
 

For both

Most Annoying 'Baglings
and
Orange

i nominate Oompa Prompa (specifically BLOWOUT KID)
 

And what an amazing year it's been. Amazing that I haven't torn my eyes out of my skull and scoured them with bleach 52 times over.

To say that 2007's Douchies is going to be one for the record books seems like unnecessary hyperbole for a site that's less than two years old but - by the Power of Grayskull!! - looking back on the soulless barrage of cultural kidney-punches that we've taken to the collective gut over the year - it's a wonder we're not all not crapping blood between dialysis treatments by now. Just one look at how the ranks of the Hall Of Scrote have swollen since last December and the quality of the 'baggery therein is immediately obvious to even the most casual observer. And by quality I mean the carnal rot of Western Civilization. And by carnal rot of Western Civilization I mean poo.

So pack a lunch and saddle up, nancies. Here's my take.

For the 'Bags:

Spikiest Hair:
Picking only one is like picking a single stalk of golden wheat from an amber wave sprouting from the taint of Mother Gaea Herself. Although the Crystalline Scroteflake (7/07), Kaboom (7/07), the Doucheplosion and The Limey (all of whom narrowly push the worthy King Douchuous out of the winner's circle) I need to go with "The Narwhal" from Club Douche (4/07). His single, thrusting hair spike is so noteworthy that I remembered it even after his pic got deleted.

Cheesiest Bling:
Although not technically bling, Xenu's (3/07) strategically located chest tattoos make a statement that no dog tags ever could. Hell, one cool breeze and they'd summon Nyarlathotep.

Douchiest Douche-Face
Despite the unflinching leers of HOS titans Peaches and The Gator, the nod goes to the parasitic mug of The Creeper (9/07 ff.) No less consistent, but way more stomach churning when it's coming from an old dude in a pink shirt.

Most Innovative New Douche Maneuver
The Doggie 'Bag. Specifically, the delinquenct-in-training of Labor Day Doggie Baggin' (9/07). In the immortal words of darksock, "I honken yo hawn, bish!"

Most Annoying Hand Gesture:
The Peaches Point (6/07). It's like he's damning us all. "I am the last thing you will ever see. Bang bang!"

I'm also impressed by the Flock of Shockers from the Abe Fromans and their super dense white dwarf hottie (9/07). 4 out of the six hands present are raising the standard high and it would be 6 for 6 if 2 of those hands weren't going in for a cheap fon-dell. High marks all around.

Most Annoying 'Baglings:
Althought the Abe Fromans are fresh in my mind, to this very day the awkward fumbling of Amateur Bagology (8/07) still makes me chuckle and shake my head. I can hear her saying "Okay - now you know what a boob feels like. Now get out of my room or I'm telling Mom."

Orange:
I was one of the few that did not vote for the Prompas' HOS honors. I still don't think they deserve it. Sure they're orange but meh. That's all. You want a Douchie, douchies? You gotta work.

Donkey Douche (1/07 ff) is a wank that's puts in the hours. Different pictures, different posses, different hotties at different clubs - but the same inhuman Ben Grimm pallor every time. It's like God carved him out of a yam. Plus, great douche hair. Epic doucheface. Masterful bling. Pay attention, Prompas - you might learn something.

Surrealist Dada Douche
I have no problem imagining Dharma Bag (3/07 ff.) hanging out with Salvador Dali at his villa somewhere Carribeanish. There they would discuss art long into the night as fat, naked midgets fed them grapes as they built a peacock made of wire and tears. Oh no wait, that's Fellini. What I meant to say was fish fur knuckle lavender.

Greatest Crisis of Modernity:
The only thing that activates my lesions more that douchebags is the pirate craze that seeped into our lives after that resoundingly mediocre movie grabbed our culture by her ample hips, came on her back and stole her purse. So a pirate douchebag? That's more than insult to injury. That would be like Roy Horn finding out he got AIDS from the tiger attack. Captain Jack Spackle (10/07) for the win.

Smells Like Poo
Jeezus. Just start at January and play enny meeny.

Most trashcan-to-the-Head Worthy:
I nominate all the hotties.
If you didn't respond to them, there would be no douchebags at all. And if that's not worth a wild swing to the skull with a foreign object, I don't know what is.

Douchiest Popped Collar:
While Furry Popped Collar got an early start out of the gate, I'm casting my vote for The Zebra (8/07). Not only is his hottie two dollops of pouty lipped perfection, but that collar is so high that even Dracula takes a back seat. In sucking, too.

For the Hott Chicks:

Hottest Hott:
This comes down to a hottie cage match between the Holy Blue Triangle (1/07 ff) and 'Bag Burrito's hot tamale hottie (5/07). After stalemates in the Slumber Party Pillow Fight, the Teriyaki Glaze Wrestling match and The Pizza Fetch, we would go to a lightning round. I'm thinking "Charlie's Angels" trivia. The first one that knows it was a TV show before it was a movie, wins. The loser can only have me on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Hottest Girl-Next-Door:
I was ready to go with Truck Head's utterly approachable Jennifer Love Hewitt's cousin hottie (3/07) but after some consideration - and by consideration I mean my bathing suit area tingling - I'm going with Beastie Bag's apple pie hunnybunny (also 3/07).

Sexiest Librarian Glasses:
Scroty Opie's hottie (1/07). It's like someone took Tina Fey and taught her how to be a, ya know, whore.

Don't get me wrong. I'm for it.

Best Boobies That The DB1 Wants to Paw Like an Epileptic Watching Pokemon -
Huge props go out to Friday Haiku's fishnet siren from 4/6/07 as well as to
Evodoution's tank top tigress (also 4/07) because in both cases, there's reason to believe that the twins are for real.

That being said, the pontoons from The Platoon (3/07) get my nomination. They may go unnoticed in the sea of pulchritude we find ourselves bobbing in here, but as far as size, contour, proportion, heft, and fit to the hottie they're attached to, those boobies are indeed quite perfect. Importantly, this hottie also lacks The Phantom Boob - the space between surgically enhanced funbags that keeps them roughly one boob apart.

Sweetest Smile of Innocence Plus Raunch -
The Bumper (6/07) for that unforgettably soft, sleepy pout in the face of the guy that practically patented the schlorthead.

Best DB1's Future Ex-Wife Hott:
The favorite is Purg Hottie, I'm sure. But I like to play the odds. I'm going with Gummy's Girl (7/07) (aka 'Bag Burrito's Hottie) at 2:1. She's got Purgie's come hither eyes and casually tossed tresses, plus boobies. Boobies are always a plus. Plus plus, as illustrated by her 'Bag Burrito shot, she cleans up more than a little good.

Most Expensive First Date Hott
Four waffle iron hot hotties stand out in my mind like a roll of quarters standing out in my front pocket. All are worthy of nominations, with an emphasis on nom nom nom. If one of these epic hotts were to even know someone with my first name, I'd cash in my 401k faster than you can say "Let's just be friends." In ascending order they are;
Angelina Jolie's hotter sister, w/ Cheese (2/07)
The Ab Crustacean's Fruit Stripe Hottie (8/07)
Spiderbag's Mary Jane (5/07)
Erik the Viking's buoyant wench (myspace handle GRkGRL) (8/07)
(Any of these nominees could sub in for Hottest Hott as far as I'm concerned.)

Douchiest Hott (The Douchebaguette)
There are hotter, there are skeezier, but no other 'bag-lady has the batting average. Eastern Euro Cutie (11/07) was first brought to our attention as Fingers McCool's saucy aide de camp, although she made her debut in an earlier Friday haiku and followed it up with a cameo on the Bag Confrontation thread. In these pics she's with two different guys and in three different outfits, and yet each time she manages the same sideways, fish-mawed look, nailing a consistency worthy of Peaches or The Gator himself. It also leads me to believe that out of the hundreds of hotties and bleeths we've seen this year, EEC is the least salvageable.

Douchie Combo Awards:

Douchiest Guido Couple:
Joey Porsche has the heat, but his blonde girlfriends throw the guido average off. I'm going with Johnny Blaze (7/07 ff) and his equally orange brunette hottie.

Douchiest Superhero Combo:
Look! Up in the sky! It's Raccoon II and GabanaGirl (5/07)! Oh, if only danny bonnadouchey were still around to see this day... Although "hero" might be stretching it. These two look more like Gen13 villains.

Worst Polluted:
The Choad Warrior (7/07)...and his...his partner-in-wank...hrrrrrn...typing hand...cramping...ha-ha part of brain...bleeding...

(drumroll please)

HCwDB of the Year
In just shy of a year of 'bag hunting, I enjoyed the hating and the hater-hating that ensued after we were introduced to the Joey Porsche Experience more than anything. But just like the Oscars, you don't waste an award on the guy that you know is going to be around next year. Joey Porsche will be our Scorsese, ya diggggggg? You fuggin' guy.

Similarly, pull a Jessica Tandy whenever you can and award the great ones before they kick it. So Pumpy, I'm sorry but you beat us to the punch. I know that you're going to be the sentimental vote but mocking your memory with an "award" like this would be too cruel. Plus, you've already got your own wing of the Hall now. That's better, anyway. So R.I.P., big fella. You're groping the angels, now.

I think it's inevitable that HCwDBY goes to The Gator, a man who has literally built a personal empire espousing everything that we collectively despise. And I don't mean flippantly, humorously despise - I mean biliously despise, with an acrid loathing dredged up from the bottom of your hate glands that bursts from you like a pimple filled with wasps. Anyone that spends that much on dental veneers and then NEVER SMILES when that money could have gone to bettering the world in any of a BILLION ways should rot in hell. ROT. IN. HELL. But since I'm a little short in the Divine Retribution department today, I can only hope that in our own way, we can make The Gator's time on earth a little less pleasant by heaping our honors upon him. Congratulations, you preening waste.

Oh, and boobies.
 

I just wanted to point out that only douchebag assholes post for the sole purpose of being the 100th poster.

Which I am now.

Jeah, beeyotches.
 

I vote we just go with Baron Von Goolo's meticulously researched white paper. It was better written than my senior thesis, and certainly more factual.
 

@darksock....yeah, the baron squared up and went yard. now that's how a true 'baghunter swings a bat. i hope you're taking notes new kids.
 

Though I'm an advocate of brevity, it simply can not be done, for that, I apologize.. Some of these are obscure, but hey
For the 'Bags:

Spikiest Hair - Buckwheat (june)

Cheesiest Bling - Limey, bike chain bracelets are not exactly 'in'

Douchiest Douche-Face - Donkey Douche, god I hate him (HOS).. hon. mention to pretty ricky ricky rickaaaaee

Most Innovative New Douche Maneuver - Doggie baggin' - the master, Trainwreck (HOS).. the not so masterful - Labor Day Doggie Baggin (sept. bot. of pge) who looks much like a blind paraplegic trying to steer a redlined lambo on the audobon

Most Annoying Hand Gesture - Choadmonster June (I think)

Most Annoying 'Baglings - J porsche and co.

Orange - Prompas, that second pic is just silly.. good call with orang u tangs though

Surrealist Dada Douche - The Ghost(feb), one of my favs

Greatest Crisis of Modernity - rooster wank

Smells Like Poo - Johny Blaze, you homo

Most trashcan-to-the-Head Worthy - Fish Slap.. I'm sure it wouldn't be the first trashcan off his head

Douchiest Popped Collar - PINKY.. August.. seriously look at this one, he's not not rocking the double pop white over pink with a matching pink hat

For the Hott Chicks:

Hottest Hott - Limey's chick whose asshole I would polish with my tongue

Hottest Girl-Next-Door - front chick in Coona tee takamalia bottom of Nov.

Hottest Innocent Getting Grease- johnny blaze's hott, the one in the white dress with the hottest eyes of all time (july)

Sexiest Librarian Glasses - Kelly Belly

Best Boobies That The DB1 Wants to Paw Like an Epileptic Watching Pokemon - chick with fish slap labeled slapdance at the top of the sept page.. good god

Hottest Dress that Resembles a Banana Peeling Itself - that dimepiece with the loaf of Olive

Sweetest Smile of Innocence Plus Raunch - Crustacean's girl (August) she had one not that hot pic or else would've won hottest hot

Best DB1's Future Ex-Wife Hott - Purgilicious

Most Expensive First Date Hott - hottie in rooster wank II in August, i would sell my car

Douchiest Hott (The Douchebaguette) - hott with gummy in july, yikes

Douchie Combo Awards:

Douchiest Guido Couple - Sloth Jr. (july), should take a gander, she's smoking

Most Likely to Procreate A Bottle of Hair Gel - greaseheads and anyone

Douchiest Superhero Combo - Gotta be Batbag.. he has the Batman symbol tattooed on his chest..

Worst Polluted 'Bag/Bleeth - combo from 1st Friday Haiku in Nov.

And of course the biggie: HCwDB of the Year - Gator - hands down

Bing bang boom I'm out
 

'Bagling of the Year: Minnow Slap

Most Ridiculous Bling:The Wampa

Hottest Hott:Bree or State School Hottie or 'Bag Choadwich Hott or...Bree or HBT

Girl Next Door Hott:Blister's Hott or Pud Cactus Hott or The Mug's Right Hand Hott or Ab Lobster's Hott or Middle Lei Hott.

The Sack of Nickels Doucheface Medallion:Doucher's Delight

The Dennis Kucinich Medal for Cognitive Dissonance: The Tragedy of the Oldbag or Harry Beaver

Smile/Raunch: Where's Waldouche Dryad Hott

Mitch Meats Sadomasochistic Leg Scissors Ribbon: BondBag's Girl

Marlon Brando Achievement in OldBaggin': Creeper

Douchiest Costuming: Mega Man

Most Unnerving: Pumpkindouche or The Bells or Sling Blade or Gilette Mach Douche or Bagfoot

Spikiest HairCrystalline Snowflake

Most Innovative 'Bag Maneuver The Sleestak

Most Twisted 'BagHunter: darksock

Funniest DB1 Headline: Billy Go Potty or Boris the Skull
 

Hottest Hott = Pajama Choad Hott
 

Boobies Sun Goddess for "Best Boobies That The DB1 Wants to Paw Like an Epileptic Watching Pokemon"!
 

I can't bring myself to induce spew by reviewing every, single douchebag. But I know some winners, without a doubt:

Cheesiest Bling - Wampa and his Ginormous Sceptre
Douchiest Douche-Face - Fish Slap
Most Innovative New Douche Maneuver - Trainwreck and Doggie Baggin'

Hottest Hott - Holy Blue Triangle
Sexiest Librarian Glasses - KellyBelly
Best Boobies That The DB1 Wants to Paw Like an Epileptic Watching Pokemon - Holy Blue Triangle

HCwDB of the Year - Donkey Douche

Indiana Douche and The Last Douchebag
 

I can't believe that JP is not receiving more votes for HCwDB of the Year!

Joey Fuckin' Carerra has taken douche to a completely different level! He is actually an intenet phenomenon away from this site. He is a celebrity, a source douche. How many times did you view his MySpace page? Were you sad when it was set to private? The kissy face, the oraange, the hair, the bling. JP IS douchebaggery! Pumpy may be appropriate for the Lifetime Award, but he was nowhere near the Douchebag that JP is.

JP for HCwDB of the Year!
With Peaches a close runner-up.

An fuck Fish Slap
 

Fellow commenters, I think we should be easy on Fish Slap.

And by "be easy on," I mean "rape with a blowtorch."
 

ahhh the douchies. my favorite time of the year...

i trust db1 with the others, but i do think that gillete mach and ab lobster have bag poses that are very disturbing. oh and the chick in bells has the best librarian glasses, oh and the godfather pose from platoon is...

X! 30 seconds X...

30 seconds? buddy I got grieco virus all over my body, and your tellin me I got 30 seconds.

fuck it. db of the year is a co-championship with fish slap and donkey.

life time goes to pin diesel. hes come along way from guido bag #32. its good to see there is life after douche.

-X
 

Thanks for the props, darksock and pfah. It was a labor of love. And if my wife finds out how much time I wasted doing it, perhaps my last.

Big thumbs up on the nominations for The Wampa for Bling. I second them all with gusto.
 

johnny blaze gets my scrote-vote
 

most likely to procreate a bottle of hair gel:

the chick who would take part in this:

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB4145-729120.jpg
 

I hope there is a presentation in memorium for Pumpy.
 

After all you muthafuckers have been in the voting booth I don't think I want to go in.



It'll be like going into a Ukranian slaughterhouse, in the nude.


Must.find.my.happy.place.
Must.find.my.happy.place.There's no place like home; there's no place like home; there's no place like home.
 

this is Impossible(!), but I'll try a few:

Girl Next Door AND Future DB1 wife:

Girl with "The Blister" (june).

Expensive first date: the stripper from Chicago who has been in multiple pics, including with Fish Slap.

Hott: Douche Hoagie (11-20-07)(i know she's inflated, but I can't help myself)

Trash can to the head: Snow White and the two Camel Asses (remember the camel toes on the two GUYS? - and, for convenience, I'm sure there are plenty of trash cans in close proximity to those douchebags)

Modernity crisis: Velvet Jones. (I'm sure he took off his Superfly style hat just before the pic was taken).(October)

Douchebag of the Year: The Gator seems an unstoppable force, so I'll join. But, there has got to be some love for Velvet Jones, The Creeper (multiple pics), Boris the Skull (November), and the Trainwreck (HoS).

New Category: "Trashbaguette." The baguette taking a doggie style over the kitchen counter while smoking a cigarette (unfiltered) and holding a red plastic cup. ("Happy Halloween - 10-31-07).

HEY ACADEMY OF VOTERS: REFERENCE THE MONTH/DATE OF YOUR SELECTIONS!
 

Man...this was tough... and I could only bring myself to choose the douches. With the help of anger, pure rage, and a lot of alcohol I drove myself to complete the arduous task of choosing the douchiest of the douches... And like the college of cardinals, I locked myself in my secret conclave for seven days, with nervous onlookers expectantly waiting...watching for the white smoke that would indicate that the douches were chosen... so it is written so shall it be done. Amen.

My nominations are as follows:

Spikiest Hair: King Douchimous IV
Cheesiest Bling: White Chocolate
Douchiest Douche-Face: Joey Porsche
Most Innovative New Douche Maneuver: Doggie "Baggin"
Most Annoying Hand Gesture: Peaches
Most Annoying 'Baglings: The Crush (pipe farters)
Orange: Oompa Prompa
Surrealist Dada Douche: Douche or Dali
Greatest Crisis of Modernity: The Stereodouchtonic Twins
Smells Like Poo: Poolbag
Most trashcan-to-the-Head Worthy: Fish Slap fuck fish slap!
Douchiest Popped Collar: The Dude with a lot of Popped Collars

and for Douchebag of the Year: THE GATOR

The Lifetime Achievement award: Pumpy.
 

Well, I can only weigh in for what I've been here for, which is since about October. So, my votes don't encompass all, but I'm sure you'll find them vomit-worthy, just as I do.

For the 'Bags:

Spikiest Hair – Tackdouche (11/2) – Best mix of spikes and hawk
Cheesiest Bling – White Chocolate – Dem toofuses can’t be beat
Douchiest Douche-Face
Most Innovative New Douche Maneuver – Wonderbag – doing the gaunt blue steel or The Dude with a lot of Popped Collars
Most Annoying Hand Gesture – Peaches/Bag ‘Islander
Most Annoying 'Baglings – JP Experience
Orange - Prompas
Surrealist Dada Douche – Douche or Dali
Greatest Crisis of Modernity – Everyone featured on this site
Smells Like Poo – Gary Abusey
Most trashcan-to-the-Head Worthy – Bag ‘Islander
Douchiest Popped Collar - The Dude with a lot of Popped Collars

For the Hott Chicks:

Hottest Hott – Pajama Choad’s Hott, Mint Jelly Hott
Hottest Girl-Next-Door – So It Goes/Doozer of Sober Busters/Who Me/Lynyrd Dychyrd
Hottest Innocent Getting Grease-Tackled – The Trainwreck or Happy Halloween!!!
Sexiest Librarian Glasses – not really any in the last two months
Best Boobies That The DB1 Wants to Paw Like an Epileptic Watching Pokemon – Boobie Sun God (10/29)
Sweetest Smile of Innocence Plus Raunch – Pajama Choad
Best DB1's Future Ex-Wife Hott – Purg
Most Expensive First Date Hott - Purg
Douchiest Hott (The Douchebaguette) – Jesssssiskkka from Douche or Dali

Douchie Combo Awards:

Douchiest Guido Couple – Old Red (10/23)
Most Likely to Procreate A Bottle of Hair Gel - Limey
Douchiest Superhero Combo – Batbag and Bobbin
Worst Polluted 'Bag/Bleeth – Douche or Dali needs EPA cleanup

And of course the biggie: HCwDB of the Year. Gator or Fish Slap. It’s a tough choice, but you can’t make that many appearances and NOT be the coolest turds in the punch bowl

Irving Thallbag Lifetime Achievement Award – Pumpy, fo sho. Although, is it wrong to hand the lifetime achievement award to a dead guy? RIP, Pumpy. Hope things are well in the Big Weight Room in the sky…
 

Hi everybody. Man i've been away for a couple weeks since my computer went on the fritz but I have a brand new laptop and i made it back just in time for the Douchies!

My Votes:

For the 'Bags:

Spikiest Hair - King Douchious
Cheesiest Bling - Kriss Angel bar none. Waive the celeb rule on this one.
Douchiest Douche-Face - Donkey Douche / Bag Islanders tie
Most Innovative New Douche Maneuver - Doggie Bag (Trainwreck)
Most Annoying Hand Gesture - Pointing.At.His.Abs (Ab Lobster)
Most Annoying 'Baglings - Joey Porche & Friends
Orange - Oompa Prompa
Surrealist Dada Douche - Trainwreck
Greatest Crisis of Modernity - Gotta be The Creeper
Smells Like Poo - Harry Beaver
Most trashcan-to-the-Head Worthy - Donkey Douche
Douchiest Popped Collar - Dude with a lot of Popped Collars

For the Hott Chicks:

Hottest Hott - Tie between Fruit Stripe Hott (Crustacean) / Bikini Hott (Bag Islanders)
Hottest Girl-Next-Door - Queen-Bee aka Hannah (Queen Bee and the Power Chord)
Hottest Innocent Getting Grease-Tackled - Lovely Faun from Gillette Mach Douche

Sexiest Librarian Glasses - Pearl (Scrotey Opie - January 04, 2007)
Best Boobies That The DB1 Wants to Paw Like an Epileptic Watching Pokemon - Tie between Grad Hott from Bag / Not a Bag (July 30, 2007) & Boobie Sun God
Hottest Dress that Resembles a Banana Peeling Itself - Banana Hott

Sweetest Smile of Innocence Plus Raunch - obvious choice: Purg Hottie | darkhorse choice: Princess Hottie (Sloth Jr. II - July 27, 2007)
Best DB1's Future Ex-Wife Hott - Obvious choice: Purg Hottie | Darkhourse choice: Sexy eyed Brunette (Bottom Gun - Sept 6/07)
Most Expensive First Date Hott - Asian Hott from Mephis Choad (because she's a transvestite prostitute. An expensive Transvestite prostitute)

Douchie Combo Awards:

Douchiest Guido Couple - Johnny Blaze and his hott.
Most Likely to Procreate A Bottle of Hair Gel - Rooster Wank and the Holy Blue Triangle
Douchiest Superhero Combo - King Douchious and Wonderwoman
Worst Polluted 'Bag/Bleeth - The Finger(July 7/2007)

And of course the biggie: HCwDB of the Year - Gator take a close one over Fish Slap
 

Nominations:

Joey Porsche for DBotY

Spikiest Hair: Limey (shudder)

Orange (oh c'mon): The Prompas

Most Annoying Hand Gesture: Was Ab Lobster this year? I'm going Ab Lobster, either way. Pointing. At. His. Abs. Peaches for runner up.

Hottest Hott: Easy Bake's girl. I still need a cold shower after seeing her myspace page and it's been weeks.

Douchiest Superhero Combo: Nuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuh Bat Bag!!!!

Most trashcan-to-the-Head Worthy: Fishslap. Trashcan full of dead fish upside the bean. Yep, that's what I want.
 

Well let me start off with the hotts...... Hottest Hott hands down Pocahontas II. If you have a problem with that T-Dogg will cut your ass.

Hottest girl next door (AKA the Kelly Belly award) The hott from the bag/not a bag with the skinny Howard Stern lookiing kid. If there was no Poca, she would have got the hottest hott award. Poca could win that award as well, but we need a little diversity.

Innocent getting grease tackled..... The Bumper. Yeah you still got a place in my bagslaying heart baby. This guy's forehead started a revolution.

Sexiest Librarian glasses.....Kelly Belly. She qualifies because she was in 2 pics.

Best boobies..... Again the chick from the bag/not a bag with the Howard Stern looking kid.

Most expensive first date hott.....Purg Hottie. Yup.... Hott like that doesn't come cheap.

Best future ex wife, Purg Hottie. I would say Black Betty, but I'm not sure if you two hooked up.

Douchiest Hott..... Uhm..... Any female that requested a takedown. They know who they are. For one that's on the site.....uhm....the skank with Joey Porsche.


spikiest hair....King Douchious
Cheesiest bling.... Limey
Douchiest Douche face.....Joey Porsche
Most innovative douche move....Doggybagging

Most Annoying hand gesture.... JP point

most annoying baglings Prompas

Orange.....Prompas

Smells like Poo, Batbag

Trashcan to head Worthy...... Bag Islanders

Popped collar goes to the.... DWALOPC


couples...........

guido couple.. Blaze and that skank
procreate hair gel..Prompas
Polluted, Islander

Bag of the year.......Fish Slap
 

Lifetime goes to Ricky, the most controversial douchebag this site has ever seen.