That guy must be the only straight guy in Hollywood. That or he's part owner of the Dodgers.
 

The only good part of Alba being pregant is, I really don't know, she is the type of girl that should never get pregant unless I am the one impreganting her. Her ass might get bigger but probably from cottage cheese.
 

The only good part of Alba being pregant is, I really don't know, she is the type of girl that should never get pregant unless I am the one impreganting her. Her ass might get bigger but probably from cottage cheese.
 

hey darksock, your cock ring has been appearing all over the place recently.

ms. alba has an amazing body. it's, dare i say, perfect.
 

Dear god I want to build a summer home in the small of her back.

Can I also nominate this photo for best wedgie ever caught on film?
 

We had a dog named Cash once.
 

oh jeez- here's an Alba quote from some article:

“The first week that we kind of got together, he gave me a note and signed it with a dollar sign, because his name is Cash. It just said, ‘I really, really like you.’
 

O but if that were my cock ring, with said johnson filling it...I would hump with the frantic staccato of a rabid weasel on crack until I exploded like a microwaved egg but with more goo.

She lived in Biloxi briefly as a teen. The Sock failed to hook up. *sigh*
 

Wow look at that ass!
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

Dios Mio! In the words of Al Pacino "She has a GREAT ASSSS!!!"
 

For all of you pathetic Alba fan-boys out there, allow me to remind you that her ass still poops turds.





I should know; I've bought every one of them on Ebay.
 

Ass overrated......... I just like Jessica for her personality is all. I think that she and I could lie around in oversized pajamas and watch Top Cat episodes on Boomerang. I think that's what got this guy some unprotected nookie with a surprise in 9 months. All of the people she could have been with. All of the marriages she could have ruined. All i can think about is how hot she was in Sin City.

So how long do you think she would grieve over that lucky bastard if something "happened" to him?
 

yes, but her turds are attractive too
 

I think I would let her deuce on my chest for the opportunity to bang her.
 

I'd take those Derek Jeter Herpes just for the chance to slide w that.


-Most of Male Population
 

alba's ass overrated? thats like saying schindlers list was a campy yet heart-warming comedy.

then again, if your german...
 

i really, really like you. $

wow. now that's some cheese.
 

Obviously, the 'bag didn't go learn from Mystery. Mystery's lines were, let's say, a little more sophisticated than "I really really like you." Maybe this douche knows something, cause I don't see any of the wanks that followed Mystery's workshops scoring Jessica Alba...

Enter the anon asshole to start defending Mystery in T minus
10
9
8
7
...
 

There is no god. Those boobies were not made for infants to suckle.

And "Cash"? For real? Hey Jess, my name is actually "Bigus Dickus", come and see me!

Indiana Douche and the Last Douchebag
 

bcs, I'm just saying that there are a lot of better asses out there than hers. I like her face. I think she has great eyes and a great smile. I look at the entire package. She has great looking hands too. To me that is the sexiest part of a woman, her hands. When they are cupping a pert rack, or the side of another hotts face while gently kissing her lips.
 

i also believe that a woman's face is very important.



it's where i like to rest my balls.
 

But, Mystery has helped so many men to be around hot chicks. Lots of losers are standing around in the background with their dicks in the hands. Thanks to Mystery, they are standing around hot chicks with their dicks in their hands.

Damn, I don't make a very good fanboy, do I?
 

no, but that was funny as hell. and true.
 

Alba is fucking ugly and worthless. I hate this bitch and all that she stands for. She is what is wrong with America today, fuck this goat-faced slut.

Hadley
 

um, hadley? you ok? for a minute there, i thought you were talking about Rosie O'Donnell.
 

@ pfah...

"...rest my balls." Hilarious. I'm stealing that.

Wow. I don't know what's more disturbing. Flyth, or that I didn't know about the travesty that is Alba being preggers.

Sure, "Cash" is a funny name. I mean, making fun of someone for something as subjective as his name...I mean, sure, whatever. HOWEVER. A man. A man who has access to Jessica Alba. Regardless of status, looks, douchebaggery, or otherwise...who fucking signs a note with a "$" DOLLAR SIGN when you get a chance to even stand near the sweet milk-chocolate goodness that needs whipped cream and cherries for hours and hours of the best drinking to be done this side of the planet...he needs to, at the very least, be kicked in the nuts.

I can't fucking believe that worked.
 

Apparently I was not the only one disturbed by flyth.
 

@admin

Bout damn time you put Alba up!

Mumbles thanks as he reaches for the tissue.
 

She's what's wrong with America?

Hadley, I don't know what else to say, besides:

If you don't think Jessica Alba is physically attractive, you probably like men.

Anon4Mystery

Yes, Mystery continues to help guys that are otherwise retarded get women...

Also, DB1 does his best to find photos of Mystery's offsprings and post them on this site. They're douchebags, because they follow some stupid protocol to get chicks.

Mystery's recent chick-bagging protocol includes getting fake tans, shitty bling, and throwing bag signs at cameras.

Much like the majority of women, my hangover can't tolerate much more of this uber bag.
 

@duke.....actually my friend, i believe hadley is a female. i could be wrong, but for some reason i remember reading a post from hadley that mentioned she's a girl.

of course, i might have been drunk then.
 

douchetorious B.A.G. @ 1:09

Hands????? Really? I can understand not liking man-hands, but hands?
 

Hadley I respectfully disagree, she is so hot I would dig up her body a month after burial, right before total tissue breakdown just to fellate her. Maggots and all.
 

I read that dereK jeter gave her the Herpes, plus she is preggers now? I don;t know she is syill hott on a Ke;lvin scale, but now i see her kyaking, and I don't much like that.
Speaking of which, what about Derek jeter as athelete douche? or MVD, whatever you want to call it, hell he gave one of the 5 most somking women on the planet herpes.
 

that dude is crazy
 

the only way her suit could get further up her crack is if I wore it as a mandana
 

is that a birthmark shaped like Australia just below her right bottock? or could it possibly be acidic residue from a pull & release 5 roper?


just askin?
 

Cash Warren is a pro hanger-on. Like a dark-haired Spencer Pratt, but with a hott like Jessica instead of Pratt's horse-faced wonder, Heidi Montage. Or whateverthehellhernameis. Pity there's not a douchey with their names on it. Or a garbage truck with bad brakes.

It's my take that should anything happen to her career -- and by career I mean revenue-generating ability -- he'll drop her like a sack of rotting ducklings.

And then she'd be up for grabs.
 

Wait, did I see something about a goat-faced slut?

Where can I get one of those? I mean, besides my horny aunt who hits on me at all the family Christmas parties and tells me repeatedly about how many fingers she can stick up a guy's asshole while simultaneously blowing him, smoking a Pall Mall and drinking a bourbon martini.

My family's freaky like that.
 

{{snif}} {{sniff}}

I smell sea bass, sea weed, taco bell, Right guard, Long Island Iced teas, flounder, iodine, and ben gay.
 

So sad. She'd carrying a mini-douche inside her.

At least I still have Jessica Biel.
 

I think if you rubbed Jessica's ass on a open wound it would heal immediately.
I think if you pray to Jessica's ass, you have a better chance of getting to heaven.
I think if you stare at Jessica's ass for longer than two minutes you will experience temporary blindness.
I think it unfair that a guy named cash is dating her. My high school girlfriend named her first son Cocaine, I shit you not. Thank god I got away from her when I did.
 

Not so fast Kowalski - Jeter dated Jessica Biel, too, according to the random page that cme up when I googled "Alba Jeter Herpes"
 

No Fucking way.....Why is this not Kevin Federline and Britney Spears on here? Or who over he is dating at the time....K-FED is the classic text book douchebag. I think he deserve an award too!!!
 

Hey, I just wanted to point out that tatoo isn't a tribal tatt. It looks to me like it's Arabaic script.
 

To the "anonymous" post asking about K-Fled and Twitney: this is supposed to be about douchebags (up whose ranks K-Fled is undoubtedly soaring) with hotties (which Twitney definitely no longer is). Twitney is a no-talent trailer trash hack who has much less hotness to work these days, even though she tries the same tactics to keep herself in the news. True hotties such as the lovely Ms. Alba know they don't have to work it - they just show up somewhere.

But I will say that "Cash" is the name of a total douchenozzle, and that's not just jealousy talking. Soon he will begin referring to himself as "THE Cash," which is the ultimate sign of a 'bag.
 

This award sums up the entire website very well. You should rename the site, "hot chicks we're jealous are taken" because not only did you mistake this guys tattoo design, you don't even see what he looks like.

The only douchebags on this site are the ones posting the ones submitting these photos.
 

That's nothing -- down here in Dallas there is a rich kid college dropout from Arkansas named Cash Barr (!!!) who used $5 million of daddy's money to open a club in downtown Dallas called Purgatory. The club has three levels -- wait for it -- Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven. I kid you not: http://www.purgatorydallas.com/

Plenty of unhot skank and ethnic douche for you to see in the "Gallery" section. Or why not apply for a job at the club under "Employement"?

Life is stranger than fiction.
 

Cash Warren is the son of used2B couldB actor Michael Warren starred in Hill Street Blues,and Soul Food.