Congrats may the dual cock and ball marks on your head and chest gleam with the greasy residue of a thousand loads of man love for all eternity you repugnant bag of shit. Props, I knew you could do it Gaytor!
 

Jesus, that's a tall head. And Stamos on the left isn't much better.
 

In a bizarre twist of irony, the Gator actually smiled while accepting this award...
 

3 girls, 2 large cups of shit and giant bowling pins.
 

I will be fed-exing Gator a congratulatory gift bag full of douche. also, a drum of orange paint.

and even on this occasion I cannot forget about you, banana smoothie on the left...
 

No. 1

"Weakness, is to trust and rely on others"

"Those closest to you, are potentially your greatest threat"

"Tip of the year – Keep your costs low and your income high and generally you will not fail!"

Shit Gator- you fucking nailed it! If I make more money than I spend, GENERALLY I will not fail! You fucking genius!

I'm going to the tatt shop right now and getting a #1 put right onto my forhead- might as well drop a few tribal tatts on these guns too, eh Scott?
 

It never occured to me that there could be something beyond HCwDB of the Year. Probably because that means we are all staring into the unfeeling abyss of a random, godless universe populated only by tiny, selfish monkeys and the shambling, tentacled horrors that exist just south of sanity, waiting to suck our heads like helpless, steamed crawfish.

And yet, meeting Gator's unblinking, vacant gaze, it seems so right.

I raise my glass to the Gator. With both hands. Anything to stop all the blood from draining out of my head forever.
 

Threads ridiculing The Gator have dominated during this past year. He even gets mentioned when he's not the douche in the pic.

Well deserved Gator. This year you set the high-water mark by which other 'bags are measured...and by high-water mark I mean grungy bathtub ring of crab-infected grease.
 

Why are the two douches in the pic the only ones who are sweaty?

Oh yeah, because Gator just finished fucking Denny Terio behind Pumpy's Bowling Alley in the background.

The hotts haven't even broken a sweat. Probably because they know their safe from any unwanted advances from Scotty No 1 and Backdoor Boy No 2.

Behold the majesty that is Gayturd.

Go shine your teeth.
 

If Adrian Zmed and John Mayer had a love child (go with me on this - I know it's not biologically possible), that child would look like the guy on the left.

What is that, a sweaty bald chest convention?!?

I'd love to nail the one in the pink, though. Oh, I'd do some very naughty things...
 

@baron 2:53,

...we are all staring into the unfeeling abyss of a random, godless universe populated only by tiny, selfish monkeys and the shambling, tentacled horrors that exist just south of sanity, waiting to suck our heads like helpless, steamed crawfish.

damned profound and nicely written sir.
 

I find it comforting to know that the Brits are capable of supreme baggery just like their American counterparts. Who knew jolly old England could produce so much grease. These bags could give even the mighty Socrates a run for his money for sheer oil volume. Jerseybags beware, you've got competition!
 

Baron hit it on the head. I was left wondering how Gator wasn't nominated for DB of the Year.

I guess now we know - it wouldn't have been fare to the other bags.
 

Gator the godfather of the white belt... may his Faustian bargain manifest in his liver exploding like a potato in a microwave
 

@jonzey

Ah, the sociopaths' credo "don't trust anyone and your enemies are your friends and relatives". Wise counsel Scooter. What other pearls of wisdom can you bestow upon those of us who yearn for an scowling, hollow, friendless, closeted life?

No wonder people worldwide hate Scot No. 1 and he is ridiculed in UK papers as the vainest "man" in Britain. Take a class on meditation or Buddhism, Scotty and try becoming self-aware.

This is my favorite quote "keep your costs low". How, Scot? Please enlighten us!! By dropping $100K on Japanese Porcelain Dental Implants, you'll save $17 in toothpaste bills this year alone. Who says Adam Smith is England's greatest financial philosopher?
 

well db1 you've done it. here i was bitching about him not being in the monthlys, and you give him a lifetime achievement award. i did not see that coming. bravo sir.

like clint eastwood, i suspect gator will only get better with age. and by better, i mean oranger, greasier, and frightening to small children.
 

I LOVE YOU GATOR!!!!!!!!



NEW AVATAR........
 

RIP Pumpy. Gator, congratulations... you suck
 

RIP Pumpy. Gator, congratulations... you suck
 

if gator invested in pumping up pinkies breast, then that was money well spent
 

That Gator. He's so hot right now.
 

HEYA;3

LOO#S AT; THE FUCEN REARS ON THEM FUCE'N SLAMPHOLE'S!@ A!

FUCEN A MAN THAT SOME FUCNE HAOEL. I FUCNE PUNCHE THAT FAOGH;TH IN THE FUC AND FUCEN RUAB MY FUENC 3" PENAIS HOLE WITH THE FUC MAN SHINTY. 31:@

THE FUCEN GOATH IN THE FUC;AE V SHIRAT = FUCEN DOWCUH!

THAT TARMAL!#

A3

F


LFLYTTEETH
 

um...
 

;WHA FUC! I ;AM A NEW POASTSER MAN THE FUC IS WAROARONG WITH YOU FUCER. YOU;3 FUCEN TARMAL;#?

SHITNE MAN THE FUC

FLYTHEETH
 

say what you want about FLYTHEETH.

i like him.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

me too... hilarious!
 

hmm...
 

welcome flyteeth. i've always said that this site could use an extraterrestrial being.

im glad that douche transcends planets. enjoy your stay here, let me know if you need anything...
 

HEY FUC!@ I AINAEN' NO FUCEN TEABOAAGHER FUCEN EXS..EEAEL; BEING MAN IM A FUCEN ;A MALE

NO TARMAL HERE MAN NO FUCEN WAY;2

SO CAN THE FUC. BECASU;3 THE STRE3@!ATS WILL FUCEN FLAWO WIF THE BAL;'S OF THE UNBELI1PV2ER;11 AND WHENM THIS FUCN GOOELD OL' COUANTRY BOY FUCEN SEESA' DOUCHEBAGIT ON HIE FUCN INT'ER

INTERNE'TS HE FUCN PUNCHAOS FAOGHTS!

FUC

FLYTTETH
 

Gator said ...

"MY NAME IS GATOR. WORSHIP ME. I LIKE TO TAKE MY GOLDEN FLESH ROD AND STICK IT UP MY ASS; BECAUSE NO ONE ON THE PLANET IS COOL ENOUGH TO FUCK ME LIKE ME.

SO TAKE THAT YOU BITCHES!"
 

dude im dying here who the fuck is flyteeth
 

@ bcs

FLYTEETH is my grandmother. Dammit she got into the catnip again.

My guesses as to whom FLYTEETH really is:

doc
darksock
doc docsock
dark doc
sock doc


or squatch
 

HEY GAG; REFLAX MAN I FUCN GOATHA RUN ;A FOR NOW BECAUSE MY FUCNE;A COMAPUATER TIM'3 IS FUCN UP. WE FUNCE GA;ET ONLY A FUCEN HAOUAR MAN BECAUSE THE FUCEN MAN IS; WWATCOHCHING ;AUS

SO FUCER I 'AWILL FUCEN BAE BACK LATER KEEP YOUR FUCEN ;A

A@1!

KEEAPS YOUR FUCEN DICCOCKS OUT ;A OF THE FUCEN DIRT MAN

NO TARMAL HERE

FLYTEETH
 

darksock my guess about 5 min ago
 

I think flyteeth is speaking "english" english. You know like the Irish gypsies in Guy Ritchie's movies.

Eh ya swamp donkey, yer all fur coat no trousers you are.

Sorry. Got beerfest on the brain.
 

I had to convince several lovers that I had balls, but that they ascended into the inguinal cavities when I was sexually aroused. At other times, I had to caution sex partners that they were too sensitive to be touched in any event (tight balls also meant numerous infections, and the scar tissue eventually grew). Middle aged weight gain motivated me to more actively address ageing and health. I returned to the recreational running I'd done in my younger years and was prevented from completing a couple of runs when the testicle that traveled the most went over 6" into the abdominal cavity, causing excruciating pain. I gradually convinced myself that I should consider castration. I consulted a couple of docs and even went to a psychiatrist specializing in sexual issues to make sure I wasn't crazy for having the desires I did. While the docs I consulted questioned my desire, I finally arrived at the conclusion that castration would likely have few negative consequences. I was already receiving testosterone injections. I had no intention of having kids. My balls didn't hang when I was sexually aroused in any event. I'd be rid of the dull ache and often greater discomfort in my crotch. I frequent clothing-optional beaches and locker rooms, but gradually concluded that I'd still be OK with being nude in public without balls even though the most I'd ever personally seen was guys with only one.

Thank you for your time.

Burdizzo Jones
 

@burdizzo you really love the word inguinal...

i think you are darksock.

this is my final answer


yagsheemash...
 

I would like to quote a 14th century franciscan monk, William Ockham, who said "In the absence of a clear answer, the simplest choice is the answer" or something like that. That's how I feel about Gator. You can keep your Fish Slaps, your Donkey Douches, your Joey P, and your creepers.

Clear your mind, think Douche, and who pops into your mind? You're lying if you said anyone other than Gator (unless you said Erik Estrada, then you get bonus points).

We all know that deep down, The Gator, regardless of nationality, color, creed, or sexual orientation, is the standard by which we judge all douche. It's almost like DB1 can shut down the site and go back to dating Jamie Lynn Spears, we will never again see another Gator equivalent. He's the 1972 Dolphins, 1984 Ronald Reagan, the 1980 USA hockey team, the 82nd Airborne in Fallujah. He's unstoppable and I, for one, salute him. Bravo, Gator, Bravo. As my esteemed colleauge from St Louis, Bagglio Ordonez, put it when wondering why Gator wasn't included in the DBoTY: "It just wouldn't be fare (sic) to the others".

Now, I have a Dropkick Murphys DVD to watch and a 40 to drink. Good night to all and to all a good night.
 

And Flyteeth still kicks ass. I think he's Jeff Goldblum in pupae stage personally.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

@Plinky 5:57 PM,

Nope, not me. Flyteeth - and Burdizzo - are beyond my capabilities. I'd do something more prosaic, like this:

"MY NAME IS GATOR. PRAY ME ON. I LIKE MY GOLDEN MEAT ROD TAKING AND IT UP MINE DONKEY CLINGING; BECAUSE NOBODY IS ON THE PLANET ENOUGH COOL, ME AS I TO BUMSEN."

"TAKE IN SUCH A WAY THAT THEM MECKERN!"
 

Ah Gator, a douche at his peak, like a finely-aged Limburger cheese-- tastes great with some wine, but leaves your sinuses swollen and your head throbbing.

Or perhaps a nice soft fromage that is going bad but you don't know it yet and it gives you a nasty case of explosive diarrhea.

Kinda like that. A hangover, rotten breath, and trouser chili.

Yeah.

--Douche-osopher
 

darksock is getting divorced because of his new, and most extreme, addiction to date: hotchickswithdouchebags.com.

This ego shattering event has caused great stress and pressure in his life, and much like any inciting incident causes serial killers to finally go off the deep end, this divorce has brought about a new personality in darksocks's psyche - - -> the one and only flyteeth. Thus he will now post only as flyteeth and since this character was so far embedded in his mind for such a prolonged period of time, we may never get the real darksock back.

I just wonder how all this is going to go-over at his place of employment tomorrow? I think darsock will show up in a tweed suit jacket, assless chaps, and wearing a pair of Zips and a Ronald Reagan mask.

God help us all.
 

@ squatch 7:13

I like your version of my joke, better. You have command of the language; you are a master of prose.

Now get back to reading your Sally, Dick, and Jane books.
Oh, and just a hint: they're not smut.
 

Allow me to translate. I studied a couple semesters of Flyteeth's dialect:



"Hey guy, relax man. I fuckin' gotta run for now because my fuckin' computer time's fuckin' up. We fucks only get a fuckin' hour man because the fuckin' man is watching us.

So fucker I will be fuckin' back. Keep your fuckin' (unintelligible).

AND!

Keep your fuckin' cocks out of the dirt, man.

No (unintelligible) here.

Flyteeth"



I like this dude.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

Oh, and congratulations and fuck you, Gator.
 

I'd vote for flyteeth for President of these here United States.

I'm serious.
 

Translation of Flyteeth's previous messages:


Hey. Look at the fuckin' (?) on them fuckin' assholes! Fuckin' A, man, that's some fuckin' hole. I'd fuckin' punch that faggot in the face and rub my fuckin' (?) penis hole with the man's shiny face. The fuckin' faggot in the fuckin' v-shirt = fuckin' douche!

That (?)

Flyteeth


Hey, fucker! I ain't no fuckin' teabagger fuckin' extraterrestrial. I'm a fuckin' male -- a man. No (?) here. No fuckin' way.

So can the fuckin' because the streets will fuckin' flow with the blood of the unbelievers, and when this good ol' country boy sees a douchebag on the fuckin' internet, he fuckin' punches faggots!

Fuck.

Flyteeth.
 

Flyteeth needs to up his meds' dosage.

Just a bit.
 

HCwDB emeritus, yes.

But you sir, are no Pumpy.
 

Oooooh! Sally, Dick, and Jane just found a puppy! I can't wait to learn how this turns out...

My guess is The Gator rips them all limb from limb in order to feed his brain-dead troglodyte ass-hamster-in-a-too-tight-jacket blow-up greasy Eric Estrada love doll. But who knows? That's why they call 'em 'cliff-hangers'...

Do zombies say "brainnnnnthhhhh"? Or would that just leave a lot of rotting lips on your good kitchen tile?
 

flyteeth is a striking member of the Writer's Guild. He/she/it is itching for some work and is bored.

Or flyteeth is Sasha Baron Cohen and is fucking with us. Now wouldn't that be rad.
 

@ squatch

Oooooh! Sally, Dick and Jane just found a puppy!

That's a metaphor, right?
Or am I to add that to the euphemism-for-masturbation list?
 

@Plinky 9:24 PM,

*'Bag Islander point*

You betcha, brah.

Nighty-night. I'll have to find out what happens to Sally, Dick, and Jane tomorrow...
 

It looks as though Gator and his acolyte Young Stallone (Sly or Frank - doesn't matter), who he is instructing in the finer points of choaditude (note the oily chest/black shirt/white jacket/blue jeans combo) have both inserted their heads into the world's largest pencil sharpener and honed them to another fine point.

Gator - the gold (or is it orange?)standard to which all other 'bags can only aspire.
 

shit...
 

Who dares wear the orange tan?
Who doth don the scrotey shirt?

Upon whom is the mark o' the 'bag?
GATOR! That's who!
Side note: Gator's ears are humongous.
 

flyteeth friggin rules. that's some funny shit...
 

Uhhhhhh

Nope, I'm not FlyTeeth; I checked. Nor Burdizzo Jones.

I was out all afternoon in meetings yesterday and this morning I came back to a whole weird area....
 

Assuming FlyTeeth is real and not a Doc construct, he appears to be using his county jail internet hour in a constructive manner. It's good to see our correctinal system focusing on rehabilitation rather than punative punishment. He has a long rewarding career ahead of him soiling linen in the psych ward.

Do not google "Burdizzo". That is all.
 

Yellow hottie is just incredibly cute. She looks like she's posing too hard to try to show off all her delicious curves for maximum effect, though. But, I'm willing to ogle her for hours to insure that her efforts are not wasted!
 

I think he bags his man servant. This guy is in a lot of the pictures and looks like he was just violated in all of them.
 

@Darksock --

Correct, sir, and with enough practice and dedication, I know he'll become his ward's champion poo flinger.
 

admit it, il choadrino; you're FlyTeeth and Burdizzo......your translations are too.....coherent. And I use that term loosely.
 

FUCEN A I AHAF MY FUCEN'1 HOUR;3 TOAD;Y

I FUCEN GOT HAIR

I FUC WHAORS!

E:!@AOL; 333F

FUC I MA;Y GAET A TALKIN TOO; FOR FUCN BITH BUT NO FUC;'AEN WHOAR IS GOINT TO GET MY FUCEN NUTS!@

3

FUCEN RIAGHT!@

FLTYTHE
 

an appropriate award for the only known man with a double doctorate in doucheology
 

I can see Robert Evans coming out of acting retirement to play Gator in his bio-pic!
 

you mean theres more to life then being really really really rediculously good looking?