Thursday, December 20, 2007
Most Expensive First Date Hott: Strawberry Cheesecake
And while you're parsing the hott, here's the 2007 Douchie for Most Expensive First Date Hott: The Strawberry Cheesecake.
Strawberry Cheesecake appeared with her douched out smoove brothabag, Velvet Jones, back in September.
Velvet won one for the Brothabags in the Weekly, but then his Billy Dee 'stache dropped in popularity as other 'bags overtook the Velvet Smog.
But Strawberry Hott remained, burning a hole through all of our collective wallets as we contemplated the $150 dollar meal at Sushi Roku, the $200 tab at Skybar, and her drunkenly pushing you out the door as you tried to say goodnight at 4am.
Here's a well deserved 2007 Douchie, S.C.
I've been there. We've all been there.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 12:30 PM 
Comments:
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Oh yeah man, that is one seriously high-rent affair here. Yes, she knows how much the caviar costs, and won't drink anything less than Crystal...she'd shatter Joey's Goose bottle right at the perfect spot over the bridge of his nose....perfection. Her nails and hair cost more per week than we collectively make per decade, and thanks DB1, for teasing us with this oh-so-out-of-reach pice of uberhott. Sweeeeeeeet
# posted by 
: 12:27 PM
: 12:27 PM 
She is a true spoogilist champion.
The last time I dropped 3 fiddy on a date she left me handcuffed to the bed, stole my wallet and told me that she really wasn't the hooker who was portrayed in Pretty Woman. Effin redhead tranny if ever we meet again... I'll never do that again unless you say you were sorry and promised never to do it again. Of course you being the dirty shemale hooker that you are you'll do it again and then I'll be really angry unless you promise me a three way with your midget, amputee roommate and then I'll chill out. Wait, what er out.
The last time I dropped 3 fiddy on a date she left me handcuffed to the bed, stole my wallet and told me that she really wasn't the hooker who was portrayed in Pretty Woman. Effin redhead tranny if ever we meet again... I'll never do that again unless you say you were sorry and promised never to do it again. Of course you being the dirty shemale hooker that you are you'll do it again and then I'll be really angry unless you promise me a three way with your midget, amputee roommate and then I'll chill out. Wait, what er out.
I hate worthless trash like this- ooooh ooooh spend money on me because I have a fishy slit. Bitch needs a serious tour of Iraq or Afghanistan to see that she is nothing but a spoiled loser that could only live in the United States. Anywhere else in the world, she would be beaten, robbed and left to starve. She deserves a pie pan of loose bowels shoved in her face.
My 2 cents
Hadley
My 2 cents
Hadley
# posted by : 12:30 PM
: 12:30 PM
No to apalagese. ^for you to saying this^^ Your amant. But to be taylored toward the complacentcy of your world. See- that to which amant is vicsual but one to not know. The female. Coupld to % be amant. %
Could to be.
Sincarely ^^^
Xim Xiyiaout
Could to be.
Sincarely ^^^
Xim Xiyiaout
# posted by : 12:37 PM
: 12:37 PM
Hadley,
I like your bitterness, keep it up. I would upperdeck this chick's grill. She sucks.
I like your bitterness, keep it up. I would upperdeck this chick's grill. She sucks.
# posted by : 12:58 PM
: 12:58 PM
Hooray! One of my nominees finally gets the Douchie rather than Hon. Mention!
Welcome, Xim! Nice to see such great use of engrish here!
Welcome, Xim! Nice to see such great use of engrish here!
Wow...first Flyteeth beams down and now his sister arrives. The douche must really be rank on their world. I had hoped that Flyteeth would lead to emancipation from the tyranny of the 'bag but alas, they have sleazed out his world as well.
# posted by : 1:04 PM
: 1:04 PM
Food for Thought - How do we know that Velvet isn't simply Strawberry Cheesecake's, um, manager?
# posted by : 1:06 PM
: 1:06 PM
She loojs like she could be the older sister of a half Filipino girl from Austin I was infatuated with. I fucking hate her. Yet, I love her all the same.
"But he'll always be a two bit punk so he'll never be my beloved. What a shame."- Once Upon a Time in America
"But he'll always be a two bit punk so he'll never be my beloved. What a shame."- Once Upon a Time in America
# posted by : 1:16 PM
: 1:16 PM
Ha ha. Good call. If I ended up in bed with this chic, I'd hide my wallet before leaving my pants on the floor.
For some reason, this chic reminds of the bitch that was in the pics with Club Douche, and wrote in asking for them to be taken down. Anyone remember her? Not sure why I thought of her, but this chic is probably hotter. And not so bitchy.
For some reason, this chic reminds of the bitch that was in the pics with Club Douche, and wrote in asking for them to be taken down. Anyone remember her? Not sure why I thought of her, but this chic is probably hotter. And not so bitchy.
^^Who to be a flyteth. I 'm not amant. I ^^ to be Xim. I haveing no sister or amant. To the fellow %which to say is apalagese % but not. Complacancy of the world I am of a guesser? I enjoying the funny %ha ha ha ha % pictuar of the peopling of amant. Fear of the world parahaps %ha Ha.
Speak to you soon to say^^^
Xim Xiyiaout
Speak to you soon to say^^^
Xim Xiyiaout
# posted by : 1:43 PM
: 1:43 PM
Xim, I understand now. You're not from Flyteeth's planet and you are here to study bleeth not douche. Okay, we're with ya. Truth be told, we'd all rather study bleeth too but to truly understand the underlying causality, we must examine the transmission agents of Grieco/bleeth infection, the 'bags themselves.
Please keep us posted on what your observations reveal. We, too, seek an antidote for the 'bag/bleeth plague slowly drowning our planet in funky scented gelatinous orange grease.
Please keep us posted on what your observations reveal. We, too, seek an antidote for the 'bag/bleeth plague slowly drowning our planet in funky scented gelatinous orange grease.
# posted by : 2:03 PM
: 2:03 PM
She looks abit like a porn star named "Honey Bunny"...
Here are a couple safe at work photos of her (well, it's as safe at work as Pajama Hott's photo)...
http://galleries1.allnetworkpass.com/hosted/tgp/028921/1.jpg
http://galleries1.allnetworkpass.com/hosted/tgp/028921/2.jpg
Quite.
Here are a couple safe at work photos of her (well, it's as safe at work as Pajama Hott's photo)...
http://galleries1.allnetworkpass.com/hosted/tgp/028921/1.jpg
http://galleries1.allnetworkpass.com/hosted/tgp/028921/2.jpg
Quite.
# posted by : 2:59 PM
: 2:59 PM
I would like to honor her victory with this essay from Steve Martin's long out of print book "Cruel Shoes":
"Yes, she was witty; she was intelligent. She was born of high station. She spoke and walked proudly. She was the kind who displayed nobility, who showed style and class. But above all, she had the jugs.
Many people called her by her last name; some closer friends had a confidence with her and shared the intimacy of her first name. But to me, she was always "Lady jugs a-plenty."
It is true. She was clever and she was charming, but above all, she had the jugs."
Indeed, Steve. Indeed.
"Yes, she was witty; she was intelligent. She was born of high station. She spoke and walked proudly. She was the kind who displayed nobility, who showed style and class. But above all, she had the jugs.
Many people called her by her last name; some closer friends had a confidence with her and shared the intimacy of her first name. But to me, she was always "Lady jugs a-plenty."
It is true. She was clever and she was charming, but above all, she had the jugs."
Indeed, Steve. Indeed.
FUC
I'D FUACN SHOA;L HAR MAN!@
FUAN!@?AO! FUC HAR ASSHO;.L3 LIKAE FUACN WHAOArS AIN THE MAL;AL MAN
HA'Y BUTCH SUCAK MAY ACOAOC@A;1-
SUCK IAT CUENT!@
NAG
FLYT\C
TTEHO;A78
I'D FUACN SHOA;L HAR MAN!@
FUAN!@?AO! FUC HAR ASSHO;.L3 LIKAE FUACN WHAOArS AIN THE MAL;AL MAN
HA'Y BUTCH SUCAK MAY ACOAOC@A;1-
SUCK IAT CUENT!@
NAG
FLYT\C
TTEHO;A78
# posted by : 4:33 PM
: 4:33 PM
I disagree. I think Velvet here would be a more expensive first date. He's got more bling than the hott. It looks like he spent more time and money on his 'do than her. I'm no clothes horse, but his velvet wear looks pricier than her pink slip. If he's spending more coin on himself than her, she can't be all that high maintenance.
# posted by : 6:04 PM
: 6:04 PM
I'd spend money on her; it would be worth it too. That way when we're done I wouldn't have to listen to her, because her voice is an octave higher than Fran Dreshcer's and her yaw more spine tingling than Mrs. Constanza's.
Those are some nice cupcakes she's got there.
And I like how Velvet Jones carries his pet caterpillar around with him on his upper lip. What a sensitive guy.
Those are some nice cupcakes she's got there.
And I like how Velvet Jones carries his pet caterpillar around with him on his upper lip. What a sensitive guy.
@ il choadarino
I am beginning to suspect that the human species isn't quite ready to know what a "tarmal" is. Alien wisdom being far more advanced than our tiny monkey brains can comprehend.
I am beginning to suspect that the human species isn't quite ready to know what a "tarmal" is. Alien wisdom being far more advanced than our tiny monkey brains can comprehend.
# posted by : 8:10 PM
: 8:10 PM
Hadley @ 12;30 pm:
Serving in Iraq or Afghanistan is an honor, not punishment, as you infer. Additionally, how long is this guy going to last with hott what with a medical alert dog tag around his neck?
Serving in Iraq or Afghanistan is an honor, not punishment, as you infer. Additionally, how long is this guy going to last with hott what with a medical alert dog tag around his neck?
# posted by : 8:53 PM
: 8:53 PM
ScroteBob DouchePants - I believe that was Ambiguously Persian Hottie you're thinking of. And this chick is not hotter than her. She may well be less of a bitch though.
Just think of the run Club Douche would have made at the Douchies if she hadn't such a wild hair up her ass about him being posted here!
Indiana Douche and the Last Douchebag
Just think of the run Club Douche would have made at the Douchies if she hadn't such a wild hair up her ass about him being posted here!
Indiana Douche and the Last Douchebag
douchebro made that shirt out of some drapes my great grandmother gave to goodwill.
/as god as my witness, i'll never be hungry again
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/as god as my witness, i'll never be hungry again
# posted by : 7:17 PM
: 7:17 PM << Home
