I never saw steroid-induced stretch marks and nipple piercings on the same guy until now. Cunt-testant #20 can do better: Me!
 

H'AE TARMAL!@

THE FUC MAN I FUECN;AE HAVE THAT RIAGOHT TO STR;'A MY OAPEIIONN TOO MAN ABOU;3 DOSUCHE.S

JAUS BECAUSE FUC I AM; AIN COUNATY BECAUSE OF ATH FUCAN WHAOOAR CAR;'LA AND FUCEN2 STA'EVE THAT SEARS AMANAAG'ER IS ONO REA'3 SON THAT I FUCEN CA;ANT FUCEN SAPY'Y MY B;2

BUITX

MY FUCEN BIT TOO MAN I A;E;@@! NO FUCEN SLAPHOLE

MAN THIA ;S SUACKS

F.YTEETH
 

flyteeth...ya gotta settle down. i know its confusing coming to an unfamiliar planet but you need time to adjust. these images are offensive and disturbing, even to us natives. for you, they must be twice as hard to deal with.

take deep breaths, and google "jessica alba". thats the best our planet has to offer, and now even she has been consumed by one of these "douchebags"

if you could order your people to descend on vegas, jersey, l.a., austin, and all other stops douche, it would be greatly appreciated.
 

FUE!

Q;UAIT SAYIN IM FROAM SOME FUCE;AE PLAOANT!

IM FUCEN A AMA;ERICAN MAN

THE FUC IS WROAOANG WITH YOU TAR!@

FLYTTT@AO
 

flyteeth for president
 

BCS, I believe fytteeth is an impressionist/cubist WRITER. You just aren't tuned into his art.

btw, Uma Thurman here never looked better.
 

toolshed looks as if "she" extracted him from a gummed up bilge pump. cleavite, sideboob, zebrahott is 120 degrees C of "manshee"
 

plinky said ...

"MY NAME IS PLINKY. WORSHIP ME.
I'M NOT FUNNY AND THAT'S WHY I FLUNKED OUT OF COMEDIAN SCHOOL. SO NOW I POST HERE HOPING TO GET SOME HA-HA LAUGHS AND GET MY DIGNITY BACK. MY OWN MOTHER SAYS I'M NOT FUNNY BUT I WAS MOST CERTAINLY FUNNY LOOKING WHEN I SQUIRTED OUT OF HER VAGINA. HA-HA THAT WAS MEAN OF HER TO SAY. SOMETIMES I WEEP IN PRIVATE. HA-HA."
 

more fyeeeth! fool has me rollin'
 

flyteeth is Jamaican and he/she/it is enjoying some really nice ghanja right now.

Good for you pal.
 

Flyteeth reminds me of Brad Pitt's character from "Snatch."
 

I know who flyteeth is, it's Steven Hawkings.

You just can't hear his throat box through the text.
 

Flyteeth:
What exactly is a shinty?
 

dude has a crystal rosary 'round his neck, nipple rings, Devo shades & the name of the 1st preschooler he molested tatted on his left hip. quick, grab a gaff & an oar & pulverize him until he agrees to buy properly fitting boardies... he is obscene (not to mention drunk, unshaven & poorly coifed)
she can yodel bedtime stories to me in falsetto, anytime
 

i love Flyteeth.
 

Oh, it's 'flyteeth?!?'
I read flyqueef.

pfah, where did you get that picture of my wife (in your avatar)? You sick pud.
 

I emerged from my mother's womb incompletely developed in the abdominal area. In addition to both the upper and inguinal abdominal muscles not being completely developed, the cords connecting my testicles to the inguinal canals were also not developed. There is little doubt that my knowledge of my physiological defects eventually influenced my decision to be gelded. This background may also contribute to my extreme satisfaction with being ballless. I'm also free of the pain associated with my balls. My own experience, though not entirely unique, is informed by more than body dysmorphia, transgenderism, intense libido or the other influences that may motivate other guys to seek to lose their balls. For this reason alone, I seldom extend advice to those desiring to be castrated. Of course, I'm not alone in being satisfied that I no longer have anything hanging between my legs. I no longer ever experience discomfort there, and my balls are no longer ever in the way of physical activity - or sex. I also enjoy fondling of the underside of the base of my penis where the balls used to be attached in a way I could never experience when I still had them. I've discovered a whole new erogenous area.
 

hmm...so you're flyteeth?

i'm confused...
 

HotChickswithDoucheBags has morphed into the Twilight Zone.
Thank you burdizzo jones.
Thank you flyteeth.
And I'd like to thank myself for not persuing drug use past my formative years. Otherwise I'd be popping, smoking, injecting, snorting and drinking anything I could get my hands on.
But for now the only thing I can get my hands on are my balls.
burdizzo I'll sell you one of mine if you want?
 

seriously...i feel like i have entered rod serling's version of hot chicks with douchebags...
 

What the fuck is going on in here? Is anyone else completely overwhelmed by the Douchies? I feel like DB1 should have warned us. I would have trained up by stocking copenhagen, mountain dew, and white hot needles to shove into my eyeballs.

And Flyteeth kicks fucking ass. So does Burdizzo Jones. The Douchies have really brought out the psychos.
 

uh plink? that's jessica alba's ass. but if your wife looks like that, i applaud you. you are the man.

i'm not sure how flyteeth actually spells his name or, in fact, who he is, but i think he's fucking fantastic. and i hope he never leaves.
 

My first castration had taught me that it was easy to catch skin that you didn't plan to clamp by accident. My dick had narrowly escaped the clamp in 2001, so I started out by taping my dick to my stomach to keep it safe. I have no great attachment to my dick but I would prefer to plan any modifications in advance.

I had NO experience with needles. I had only a vague idea of the correct dosage. I did know what worked in the first castration, so I tried to duplicate it. I really didn't plan on closing the burdizzo that night, I planned on numbing my balls and cords, then just trying the clamp to see if I'd done a good enough job of numbing myself.

I'd had to buy a box of 100 sterile needles to get the couple I wanted so I had plenty to spare. I pulled about 10 cc of xylocaine into the syringe, and started up at the top of my sac next to my dick. I started injecting. I injected a small amount into a dozen or so different places in my sac. I had to use great care to avoid shooting any xylocaine into a vein (sure wouldn't want to numb your heart)! I had another needle that I was gently poking my sac with so I could tell when it was really numb. It didn't take long and then I just had to numb my cords.

Thank you,
Burdizzo Jones
 

I cannot help but wonder how few of these people know what a set of burdizzo clamps is or even looks like. This guy needs his cords severed alright. The bottom of the gene pool is already overpopulated as this site well demonstrates.
 

....
....
..... ... ...
...wtf...i mean, ...W...T..F...

Put this thread away somewhere and bust it out randomly please god. First Flyteeth had me reading this shit upside down and reaching for the crypto book then this twisted thing called Burdizzo starts in....what the fucking hell just happened to my brain...'dizzo you just creeped me out BAD
 

Holy Shit. I finally caught my breath again after nearly having a seizure reading the extraterrestrially comedic stylings of the newest HCwDB celebradouche, FLYTEETH.

DB1, this guy needs a thrice weekly column on the site. Any more frequently and my head would explode. Plus those hyper distance roaming charges from Scrota Doucheticuli Bagoris would really add up.

FLYTEETH, you are the new standard by which all 'bag hunters shall be judged - unfairly judged perhaps due to your extraterrestrial origins but still...

Douche On!!! Or however you would say that in flyteethian.
 

With that skimpy bikini, it is obvious she shaved the bearded clam but my money is on the fact it still smells like it came straight out of the ocean.
 

@ pfah

I know dude. I was trying to be cute. :-)

Just don't put a picture of your ass up there, PUH-LEASE!!
 

I know someone who finally kicked meth a year ago, but the damage is done. His emails read exactly like Flyteeth's posts.
And are almost as funny.
 

but you are already cute plinky. i gotcha brother.

well my fellow 'bag hunters and FLYEETH, we are off to Italy for the holidays early tomorrow morning.

that's right, i am taking my beautiful wife over the big pond for Xmas. if we happen to have internet access from Tuscany, i'll drop a line. but even if we do, i kinda doubt i'll be checking in until after santa visits.

take care. keep up the amazing work. i hope you all get everything you've been rightfully wishing for. especially you FLYEETH. i hope you get Spellchecker 8.4. you totally deserve it. you're amazing.

talk soon all. i'll have a grappa or 23 in your names.

best.
 

@burdizzo: Jesus, man. Cut it out with the ball/clamps/eunuch shit. You're seriously killing my buzz.

@FLYTEETH: Have I got this right?

"Hi, there!

(What) the fuck man? I fuckin' have the right to share my opinion too, man, about douches.

Just because I'm in county because of that fuckin' whore Carla and fuckin' Steve the Sears manager is no reason that I fuckin' cant fuckin' say my bit -- my fuckin' bit, too, man. I ain't no fuckin' asshole.

Man, this sucks.

Flyteeth"
 

Fellow 'Baghunters: I think there's a good chance Flyteeth's real.
 

@ pfah

Dude man, I'm moving to Seattle and working for you. You got the life brother! And by "working for you" I don't mean any of that naked mime-in-the-bedroom shit you told me about in secret. You need some help, brutha.

Have a safe trip. Leave your house keys underneath the welome mat, and I'll clean up after all the parties I throw. Everyone who posts here is invited!!
 

why do so many folks spend too much time arguing on the internets? guess i've never understood the concept. just ignore flyeeth and his incoherent gibberish. it goes away when you don't provoke it.

meanwhile, i need to wipe off my computer after viewing this oil spill.
 

I had my first Geld reuchyeohaneun it easy to catch the skin did not plan to clamp advised by the accident. I was escaping Dick narrower clamp in 2001, so I started to shoot my people, Dick, it is safe to keep my stomach. I have no attachment to my big Dick However, I said that any modifications to the plan in advance is preferred.

I had no experience with the needles. I have only a vague idea of the correct dosage. What do I know who used to work for the first Geld, so I try to duplicate it. I do not plan to close the burdizzo That night, I have my ball paralysis in the planning and ropes, then clamp want to be good enough to perform to determine whether paralysis of the work myself busy.

Would you buy a box of 100 infertile couples wanted to get the needle in, so I had plenty to spare. I am one of the approximately 10 references by dragging xylocaine syringe, and next to my dikipnida sac at the top of my boots. I have to start injecting. I am a bit of a different place in my sac injected with a dozen or so. I have to use great care to avoid any xylocaine shot vein (heart attack will not be confirmed)! I soften the sting another needle into my sac so I could tell if it really paralyzed. It is not paralyzed, and then taking a long time I just made my rope.

Thank you,
Jones burdizzo
 

I have my first money reuchyeohaneun easy to catch up with the skin and do not intend to stop communications accident. I had a narrow escape Dick stent in 2001, so I started shooting my people, Dick, it is safe to let their stomach. I am not loyal to my great Dick, but I say that all the changes in the planning in advance, the first choice.

I had no experience in acupuncture. I only vague words, the correct dose. You need to know who to work for the first benefit, so I try to copy. Now I do not intend to shut down burdizzo That night, I have my palsy, in the planning and rope, and then to insist, as well as whether there is sufficient work palsy own.

You bought a box of 100 infertile couples want to pin, and I have a lot of spare parts. My about 10 hits a withdrawal xylocaine syringe, and also my dikipnida bag at the top of my boots. I have started pumping. I have a different place in my bag into a dozen or so. I must use great care to avoid xylocaine shot vein (heart attack is not confirmed)! I reduce other dark needle in my bag, so I can tell that if they are really paralyzed. He is not paralyzed, and then a long period of time, I have my rope.

Thank you
Jones burdizzo
 

umm..FYI...if your reading this post..and your high like me..please turn away.Oh...and don't google burdizzo clamps. I know ill never run around with pliers, infact any hardware tool, naked anymore.
 

I love balls!
 

But not yours...or yours. oh and yours
 

Sorry..I was trying to imply that I love MY balls..no gay kruger..jesus mother of ankle, I am high
 

Who are these people?
 

@ ED
Yeah these guys make you look tame.
 

You know, I remember when I was the most fucked up person on this site.....those days are behind us now. I feel like the old WW2 "blockbuster" bomb felt the day after Hiroshima.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffin' glue...
 

Slaphole?





yesssssssssssssssssssssss!
 

This guy goes to my gym. He looks exactly like this at the gym too except for the shirt. This asshole has his spiked up just as high.
He is truly a douche.
 

oops meant to say has his hair spiked up just as high. he is DOUCHE...
 

Tasmanian Devil + keyboard on all caps = FLYTEETH
 

no one even mentioned that he pissed himself too
 

Many questions... Is this bag a midget? Is this bag a normal height guy with a giant sweddish model? or Is it a perfect tranny who could even fool Hugh Hefner?
 

JAUS BECAUSE FUC I AM; AIN COUNATY BECAUSE OF ATH FUCAN WHAOOAR CAR;'LA AND FUCEN2 STA'EVE THAT SEARS AMANAAG'ER IS ONO REA'3 SON THAT I FUCEN CA;ANT FUCEN SAPY'Y MY B;2

Here, I believe he is stating that he is in County Jail (lock-up) due to that whore Carla and Steve, that Sears Manager (you know the one) - howEVER, being in county is the reason he can't "Sapy'y my b;2" is eternally a mystery, much like TARMAL
 

There are several compelling reasons this couple should be painfully euthanized post-haste.
-the douche's spray-on George Michael beard.
-That ain't ab-grease on the douche, it's where the surgeon's tore off some skin in a failed attempt to sew skin over his poochy mouf to shut him up.
-uh, I think he's wearing her mini-skirt?
-the I've-Been-Carded wristband indicating he's been okayed by Security to snorkel alcohol.
-the geriatric Fitovers sunglasses he swiped from his Granny.
-the middle finger he's timidly aiming our way.
-and most of all, sHe's way too tall and fake; it's not a HCwDB, sHe's a ChickwDickwDoucheBag! Nasty.