And she has a pearl necklace. These jokes just write themselves somedays...
 

I like to give her a pearl necklace of another kind.

Hey douchebag read your shirt and obey death already!
 

Damn fast finger sock. Get a job already!
 

Get a job already! Add that to the masterbatory list.

The pearl necklace joke has been used ... hmmmm, how about the skull fuck joke? If only there were some skulls in this picture ...
 

What about KellyBelly?? Didn't she have the librarian thing going on? Actually, now that I think about it, the douche in the photo may have written in to take it down (douchebag!!). Anyway, KellyBelly's a librarian, and she kicks ass. I'm submitting a write-in vote for her...
 

I love the library after closing time when the library ladies all relax and let down their tightly coiled buns, and their hair too. Then they open that stuck card catalog drawer and whip out the stash of brandy to socially lubricate themselves before venturing out into the cruel, mocking world. I was doing alright with red corseted hottie here until Opie the pirate janitor showed up and told her he loved her Dewey Decimals and she tossed me into the returns bin like another discarded Jackie Collins novel.

Sigh

Pirates get all the chicks.
 

Get her to the altar and she will transform into your basic connubial demon.
 

I must protest.
 

Scrotebob, I voted for KB too. Damn i miss those glasses. The award should have been named after her. Out of respect.
 

But then again, this hott may have reinvented the librarian glasses/pearl necklace look. WOW.

She, dare I say, may be hotter than Poca. I need to go through the archives.
 

I'll bet when she does it, she's very, very quiet...
 

Damn Scroter! My dewey decimals joke was at the end of your rant!

Well done! now get a blog
 

@il choadrino ......when she does what, takes a dump? brother, this girl is probably glass-shattering loud in the bedroom. like a wildebeest-in-heat loud.

i'm just sayin'.
 

I'm with pfah on wildebeest-in-heat theory. Once all of those repressed emotions erupt to the surface she'll leave you gasping for breath, completely drained and begging for mercy in the single digit hours while she searches for fresh batteries for her home "massager"
 

***Way off topic warning***

I was wondering if we needed any kind of special "in memorium" section. Not so much for Pumpy, who has been duly honored in this capacity elsewhere, but for denim shorts. While they have been dead since the 80's, it seems like only yesterday that they were still with us.
 

Wow. Should be "in memoriam". I suck.
 

She is hot. Though not as hot as the honorary mention, my-wife-ten-years-ago.

Still, she is hot.
 

BTW, my wife right now Still Looks Great!
 

so when the fuck does gator get his award...i'm waiting...
 

@ art of the douche

Denim shorts only died in the 80's in the wild. There's a breeding pair at the Troutdale Outlet Mall.
 

gator is like scorcese right now...everyone knows he deserves the award but no one wants to give it to him...
 

@bcs

I was gonna say Ron Howard. He brings more of that "Vainest Man in Britain" vanilla.
 

@ Squatch: I protest your protest. The librarian thing is more of an overall look. It transcends the glasses as the Grieco transcends spiky quaffs, Jesus bling, and Axe. It's more of a state of being...or state of fucking...or maybe I had too much 8 Ball. Whatever the case, I respectfully disagree.
 

Yep, Tina Fey hott (without the scars) would definitely make me hit the, um, books.
 

im just mad no one is going to bat for ol' scott alexander no1. everyone wants to cry "celebrity" like he's brad fucking pitt. he's gator. he's famous in another country. so is Smt. Pratibha Devisingh Patil, but not a goddamn person in this country or on this blog knows who she is.

Damn you gator, and damn your hold over me.

Like my own beer farts, I am both disgusted and intrigued by your existence. Like watching a horrific car crash, I am both disturbed and excited to be in your presence.

Gator...we will always have The Sharon Osbourne Show. Where you showed your human side...

***Paws at window to Gator slowly fading out of view. Single tear falls and bcs gently whimpers...

GATOR!!! I LOVE YOU GATOR! MWWWWWAAAHHHH***
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

@baron: I was reading an interesting bit on the Endangered Jeans Rescue Foundation web site about a group of researchers from the Z Cavaricci Institute for Global Denim Studies who have successfully re-introduced a small colony into a few select trailer parks in Alabama and Mississippi.

They appear to be thriving, and with any luck they should begin migrating north and west as their numbers flourish.
 

@B.A.G. - ha ha. The Annual KellyBelly Sexiest Librarian Glasses Award. That has a nice ring to it. Actually, it's way too long. Let's just go with "The KellyBelly Award". BTW - I still vote for her.

I only came on board this January, so I missed the 2006 Douchies. I'm assuming that The Future Ex-Mrs. DB1 won this award last year?????
 

@B.A. Douche 7:11 PM,

I respectfully disagree with your disagreement. Squiggy Hott is the nastasticous... um.... librarian hott I've seen since I was secretly peeking at my dad's Penthouse magazines.

Of course, the difference is she isn't lipstick lezzing another chick in the pic.

But Scrotey Opie's Hott is plenty librarian for me. Plenty, plenty, plenty. I love red lace bras. Reminds me of Christmas...

Skull rockin' Opie says "Obey!". *snork* He probably lets his shih-tzu piss on his Nikes...
 

fap fap fap fap
fap fap fap fap fap fap
fap fap fap fap fap
FAP FAP FAP FAP
FAP FAP FAP FAP
FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP
*grunt*
FAPFAP
FAP

FAP

fap

fap


fap


*sob*
 

Anon 10:24, I don't know who you are (and I guess that the whole point of posting anonymously) but that made me laugh harder than any post in the last week. Sure I enjoy the obscure cosmological references here but a good wank joke is solid, too.
 

Something about this girl tells me that she gives really incredible blowjobs.
 

Annnnnnnnd, I'm out.
There never has been, nor will be a hotter hottie hott in the history of man kind or this site.

DB1, I implore you to make a special section featuring all of the KellyBelly glasses hotts from this site. It hurts too much to do all the research myself...I mean I'm hurting my self doing all the reasearch on myself..

er...
you know what I mean.

I won't give up looking for "Better than perfection" on this site, but I now have less to live for.

Now all I have left is my hatred towards Fish Slap, the Dark Sock Sickness, and Old E.
 

Sensory overload. Cannot compute. Would you like to play a game? How about a nice game of Global Thermonuclear War?
 

Must have missed this one when it was posted. I was wondering what all the hoopla was about ... I stared at this for five minutes before I realized she even had a head, much less glasses. Outstanding, girl. Outstanding.
 

ScroteBob DouchePants and douchetorious b.a.g.

I'm with you fellas. It was Kellybelly all the way! She was the hottest in librarian glasses. And a World Class 'bag-hunter to boot.

I miss her! Can we at least name the Award after her?

Indiana Douche and the Last Douchebag
 

10:24, I dub the "Woody", and tip my fish-shaped hat to you. That was hilarious.
 

^the-->thee

whoops.

And she's ridiculously hottttt.
 

@ il choadrino:

Forget denims; coming out of extinction in the shadey underworld of FEMA trailerparks there is slowly emerging a heretofore believed extinct locust from the 80's.....the mullet is returning. It will soon breed in the festering pits of NASCAR and Wal-Mart, reach critical mass and then....you will start yearning to be business up front, party in the back....

Librarian Chicks secretly dig mullets. Medical fact; look it up on Wiki.
 

Does anyone else think Sheppard Fairey better close his apparel business before it gets douched to death? OBEY is practically at Ed Hardy/Von Dutch status.
Too bad the Hott's glasses are either one of two things A) a costume/prop or B) terribly unfashionable, very 90's but perhaps this picture was from a club in Ohio? There really are bags everywhere.
 

....I forgot, Fuck Fish Slap!
 

Saaaaaaalute!
 

I just want to note again that she is fantastically gorgeous.
 

This chick... I'm... speechless.

@Squatch

I always favor the brunettes, but I can see your point concerning Squiggy's babe. Wowza.
 

idk if this guy can be considered a legit douche.....
 

I don't think that this guy qualifies based on sight alone. It could go either way.
 

i 99.9% sure i know this girl....


...she's always with a douchebag..

..i don't get it.
 

She may be a fattie. I think this merits further investigation.