holy Angelina Jolie! it must be buxom booby day
 

And she does not go to the potty either. Dang....
 

I have to say, this guy doesn't make me want to punch him in the head. He has a friendly smile on his face that says, " Hi friend, come take my girl for a ride around the block, I don't mind. I'm a giving person". And I would take him up on the chance to ride big wheels with Angelina Alba.
 

Three more buttons. Just three more F-ing buttons.
 

She sweats, but it tastes like lime and coconut.
 

she can bring home the douchebag
spray him up with faketan
im gonna get drunk and forget my date is my hand
cause shes a woman
enjolie woman is killing me here
 

Mmmmmmmm...stripey boobies.

Bonus ample bottom on Red Top, Black Shorts girl in the background. It's quite spankable.

WTF is up with this douche's preternaturally white teeth? He must have bought Gator's $100K Special Japanese Porcelain Teeth since Gator wasn't using them anymore now that he's stopped smiling.

Even though this scrote isn't smiling the Gator scowl he's still a douche. Face Grease, Shaved Chest, Unbuttoned Shirt, Frosted Hair spooged into spikes. All that's missing is Kissy Lips and Jesus Bling.

He's Spikey the Friendly Douche.
 

BTW DB1, stupendous gallery of boobies today, Good Sir. I raise my Red Cup of Ripple towards the setting sun in admiring recognition of such an exemplary showing of cleavite.
 

Hair gel: $5

Binaca: $2

The whitest porcelain veneers on the market: $20,000

Knowing deep down that posing next to a hottie won't mask your inner homosexuality: Priceless.
 

she looks like the twin of my friend Sarah. except Sarah is a blond. small world.

speaking of twins, this girl's three buttons are really pissing me off. i have never seen whiter teeth in my life. they are blinding.

also, Miller Lite is shit beer.
 

After seeing this picture, I went straight to the supply closet and got 6 bottles of white out. I am gargling with it as we speak. I will then use my blinding white teeth to seduce this buxom-button-buster.

For some reason, Homer Simpson's drooling noise keeps running through my head. Auuughhh....
 

DB1,

Your quality of your writing the past 72 hours has been fucking impeccable.

You're on fire man. Don't put the drink down.
 

Pfah: Miller Lite is BEER? I thought it was carbonated horse urine.

G. Schneider & Sohn Aventinus or Great Divide's Oak Aged Yeti Imperial Stout - now THOSE are beers! Or anything by Dogfish Head...
 

I meant to say "The quality of your writing..."

Don't shoot. I'm just a dumb actor.
 

He wouldn't look so bad if his hair didn't look like camel poo being squeezed through a colander.
 

The shirt.

The hair.

The extreme teeth whitening.

Douche.

The Hot is off the charts, making my pain all the worse. I pray to god she's a bitch.
 

This photo should appear in Webster's under "double standard". Quite the dichotomy here:

Shirt buttoned up half-assed on her: Sexy and come-hither. The sun comes out and the birds sing like a Disney movie. All is well with the world. Makes me tingly in the naughty-bits region.

Shirt buttoned up half-assed on him: Rage inducing, and altogether foul. Taste of bile. Very much akin to a clogged up toilet in a rest stop that hasn't had a full time janitor since the Nixon administration.
 

A simple notadouche pass would be given upon buttoning up the shirt. As is, I'm going to have to cite him for in-douchent exposure. Reforming bag tendencies and a period of scroteless behavior will ensure the citation will be removed from permanent record.

That, and an offering of his hott on a platter replete with fois gras and bacon bits, dripping with a molé sauce.
 

Yeah his three buttons are definately evidence or extreme douchosity. Although I'd be willing to look past that if she made up for it by going three more buttons on her shirt. Even tradeoff in my opinion. Of course, he'd still be a douche. Unhand her you fool!!
 

He has the mark of the bag, frosted hair, and his shirt is unbuttoned down to his belly-button. DOUCHE!

Btw - the hc's shirt-buttons look like they want to bust open.
 

My only question is why even wear a shirt at this point? It's pretty fucking clear that her funbags are a sneeze away from being al dente or al fresco or al holy shit she is fucking hot!

Kudos DB. I know I usually blow you a lot of shit but this day has been fucking historic on the hott end of the spectrum, Fucking Historic. I don't think there is a bottle of lotion, body butter, conditioner, hair gel or bleach left in my office. Kudos again.

P.S. my dick has retired and has notified me that he is moving to the Bahama's to rest and recover from today.
 

frosted tips + unbuttoned shirt + mark of the douche = the holy trinity of douchosity
 

Nicest pair of schmebes I've seen on a hott in a while. I keep reloading the page seeing if that button has popped off yet.



damn.
 

Dear DB1, as a Uke I owe you props for your high praise of Ukrainian Women. But, if you saw my sister?! Your lofty regard of Ukie women would be dashed like the dream of so many deuchebags who fail auditions for LA dating shows. She's king sized, works at a Chinese restaurant and loves the Brotha's. The dudes she works with bust on her all day, they call her the "Won Ton Ho".

As for Boomhauer:

Hand firmly planted on an area I would like to mushroom stamp - check

I had to get under the hood and review that pic several times to conclude that the call on the field stands, the background contains no potentially non-deuchebags - check

It's pretty much 90-10 at this point, I think the final test is whether this guys burns my scrote enough that I would consider writing a letter to his mom asking her for foregivness for pushing her little baby bag down and giving him grass stains on his favorite Z-cavaricci jeans she got him last Christmas. - check
 

The Ukrainian orphanage line is classic. Big kudos.

But it's not fair to run Alba hott here AND the limerick vixen on the same day. I hope you at least warned d.baggins to get some Gatorade first.
 

Phah-what do you drink? If I recall correctly you enjoy Magic hat #9, craft beer with training wheels for women.

Phah you sexy thing
 

I wanna saturate her non saturated fats until we procreate trans-fats...then hit frosty flakes with a frosty milkshake with a burger in it..
 

Orange skinned frosty tipper with half starfish look reeks of bagness.

Hot on left looks kinda rough underneath the products.
 

I can literally hear the groan of those straining buttons like the floodgates of a dam during a hurricane.

And the only reason he's classified as an "average" douche is because we can't see his his tribal tatts and tounge ring. But I wonder just what that is on the back of his left hand... fungus?
 

And DB1, your imagery is the most random I've read in a while.

Have you switched from 'Train over to Cisco for the fun of it?
 

mmmmmmm.....sex is in the air....uuuugggghhhhh
 

I just contracted carpal tunnel. Never have so many stripes looked so good. Who's the iceman next to her..."its not your flying, its your attitude"?
 

He's a fraggle. The douchey one.
 

Something about her says she swallows?
 

hi doc. it's always nice to hear from you.

i'm a Guinness drinker. though i have been known to have a #9 now and then.

and if my memory serves me correctly, you're a big fan of Cosmopolitans and wine coolers.
 

Check the top of his hand.

Something's up.
 

I would imagine the brilliant beacon of those teeth of his are to distract from the avian birdflu plumage on his head? Or to distract from the feces that occasionaly plop out of the mini-ass just below those teeth? Either way, those lips on Hott could gently coax fluids from a brick.
 

Is this a scene from the third "The Mask" movie? Damn, dude, stop sucking on the bleach bottle. His asshole must look like a ghostly pale sightless cave dwelling salamander.

I'm wearing a shirt like hers today. Except mine has jizz on it now.

Those buttons are straining like a chihuahua trying to shit a meat loaf.
 

hey everyone im sitting right here with "the hot" congrats everyone she is getting a real kick out of all you winners
 

hahha ... this is soo funny. This "HOTT ALBA/ANGELINA JOLIE" in my best friend!! We actually call her Alba with the Jolie lips. Shes the best and i love her ... sorry Jason, you do kinda look like a douche in this picture. haha
 

Well, that's refreshing to have an anon troll call us winners for once. Thank you, anon 7:25. You have a great day!
 

i think she has herpies
 

she looks so good i would put her on a plate and swab her up with a biscuit
 

Skreetch Powers anon 12:57
 

She's a fucking douche bag too.
 

Duuuuuuuuuuude, she's a bartender in Pittsburgh. And not a good one at that...fuck him. Id fuck her but shes weak sauce.
 

shuttle where pray tell does she tend the bar...i have a tip to give her...but she will have to earn the rest....
 

i love this site, but surely those represented here are all a party to the inevitable of cultural armageddon that is headed our way
global warming is a pale threat in comparision
 

I can see your teeth from down here!!