He's actually drinking new "A.J. Sports Tonic - Replaces what your body's missing!".

It is made from an elixer of his ball sweat, upper lip grease and whatever his Mom can wring out of his pube-bristled jock strap.*



*just made myself throw up a little.
 

Actually, there are African tribes in The Congo that believe A.J's sweat CAUSES rickets, Lyme disease, crotch itch, Ebola, Marburg virus, leprosy, gout, dizzy spells, nausea, cold sweats, hot sweats, fever blisters, involuntary trembling, dead hands, numb lips, fingernail sensitivity...
 

Holy shit. That look from her already has me talking with my lawyer about giving her half of my possessions.

Hopefully she'll let me keep the dog.
 

Big D: Rod Stewart (of all people) said it best: "Next time I think about getting married, I'm just going to buy a house for a woman I don't like instead".

Don't do it, man.....
 

Hard to believe that saying from a man with knowledge of a woman I could only one-handedly and furiously dream about as I was coming into my own in the mid-90s. Regularly...

Rachel Hunter...drool...

Guess the old adage is true: "No matter how hot she is, someone is tired of her shit."
 

Where can I get a shirt that says "Douche Couture"?
 

He is a shaved down wookie. Look at the size of his hands relative to that cup.
 

Damn, Vader: this dude could finger-bang Plinky's mom.

Is he off on another meth bender?
 

wc fields the great philosopher framed the conversation...a pretty girl is like an elephant, fun to look at, but i wouldn't want to own one...
now thats a bit hard line because pretty girls are also fun to play with, but one can lease them for a party without actually owning them which is what i think he meant...
whatever aj, and i'm guessing this guy is in the aj benzo fan club, is saying this hott ,and she is very much that, isn't buying it...
in fact that is a save me look if i have ever seen one..
 

Dudes wearing two watches.
 

That looks like they are in Russia on yeah an they AJ on his hat stands for Armani Jeans FYI
 

Mace Windu vs. Darth Maul in the background...
 

my bad any guy who wears an armani
jeans hat can't be a douchebag...thats the one magical accessory that excuses all other douche traits and behavior...i really feel bad that i didn't recognize it myself
 

someone file an amber alert. hilary duff has been kidnapped. last seen with a profusely sweating throat rapist in the depths of an ecstasy binge. if found, approach with caution. and plenty of towels.
 

@Darksock-
This dude could fist Plinky's mom, and it would STILL be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.

Doubtful about the meth bender. If that was it, he'd be on this site for 27 straight hours, leaving a comment about every 19 seconds...I suspect something more sinister...
 

The chicks have been ultra hot since I got back on. Maybe not Saturday Haiku, but 99% hott. This oldbag must fight in the UFC or something.
 

Billy Bob Thornton, asking if Angelina is there.
 

I would allow her to carve out a kidney or two and sell them to her mobster boyfriend for a broken crack pipe.

Mmmmmmm, Baby. I think we have a connection. Will you watch my wallet for me? Will you leave your Ultimate Fighter Soon to be a Tow Truck Driver fella for a nice car and lake views? I'll set you up reeeeal good with the alimony.
 

Leave AJ alone! He just finished a gruelling duel with Deep Blue and split the match 4-4.
 

I like french fried taters. umhum
 

@ Vader:

Actually, when Plinky's around he DOES post every 19 seconds; that explains a lot...I fear his Mom sat on him again. He'll learn to stay off her 2 couches (one for each ass cheek).

BCS: There's nothing more depraved than a man in the depths of an ecstasy binge...or is it ether?
 

This just in from the AP:

Cleveland (AP) -- Police are confirming that they have found the body of a local man, dead in his basement. He appears to have slipped into a hyper-manic state, scrawling indecipherable messages all over his walls using his own feces. Police declined to comment on the investigation thus far, but they did mention that they're looking for individuals by the name of "Dark S. Ock" and "Bea Sea-Ess" for questioning. It's believed that the individuals wrote several thousand "his mama is so fat" jokes on a disreputable website, which drove the young man to his death.
 

Mr. White:

That is a terrible tragedy.

They're going to bury him in one of her facial pores.
 

Really, DS? I thought I heard that they were going to use one of her shoe boxes for a coffin and then buy him in the back yard next to Mr. Whiskers and Pickles...

I am not surprised, however, that Mr. White's post has something to do with using the body's biological function of waste removal in a manner the good lord did not intend.

Sinner.
 

Actually, DS, the ORIGINAL saying was that there is nothing more helpless and depraved than a man in the depths of one of Plinky's momma's folds...but they changed it to ether binge because the first way was just too gross.
 

@big douchebagski

I have a computer solely dedicated to searching the internet for certain...key terms.
 

Mr. White - Hahaha. You're a passionate man, my friend. I respect that.

I personally like to look up those key terms in daycares, senior citizen's homes, and public libraries.

:looks up from computer and sees Chris Hansen and the NYPD:

"Fuck."
 

2 watches: 1 to remind you to put more quarters in the meter for your moped every hour and the other to remind you to call your parents to come pick you up. He should have a third...to remind him to stab himself in the eyeball because he is such a tool
 

Looks like Bruce Willis still got it going on !
 

if plinky died, i think i would know by now because the streets would be filled with his mothers tears. fema would have been called by now (or not) and cuyahoga and surrounding counties would be declared emergencies.

i think the novelty of the site just wore off for plinky, or perhaps a new job gives him little opportunity to post. or perhaps he's trapped in his momma. who by the way, is so fat, when you get on top of her, your ears pop.
 

His Momma IS sad. I know because I can see her from here.
 

I think A.J. stands for ASS JOCKEY in most gay communities....don't ask me how I know that