Is that a pack of smokes sticking out of her top?

Classy....very classy!
 

Yep - they look like smokes, and those are the worst fake eyelashes a crossdresser can buy. I think this is more he/she than Bleeth?
 

Seth Green and Wilmer Valderdoucheama finally get on the site.

Yes, very classy chick with the smokes in the tube top like my Aunt Deloris' next door neighbor at the trailer park.
 

I count two discount peace signs and a chick asking to get eaten. Nice that she matches the bovine-themed furniture.

Now, is Johnny Faux-hawk asking someone to fuck him? Is he pointing to his "li'l buddy" as if he just fucked him? I have soooo much to learn.

This, in my humble, is a level 1 Bleeth with a bit too much X in her system. I still love her, though, even in a mumu. Cha cha cha cha!
 

This one seems to be about as far along as the Bleeth in 'Bag Oilwich, and I think that one is at the point of no return. So, I would have to say this one, who already looks a bit coked up, is probably beyond our help to cure.

What a waste.

"I shall weep for thee, Bleeth; for this revolt of thine, methinks, is like another fall of Man."


Quite.
 

What's wrong with the Old Spice Man's illigitimate love child. He's only got half a cranium. Too bad he can only imitate things he sees around him.
 

Being that a "Bleethed out Hottie" is a derivation off Yasmine's name- she is the origin of this term, could we not discuss some other possible terms for this phenomena?

Perhaps we could delineate Stage 1/2 and 3/4 with different terms?

A 1/2 could be Pamson, for Pam Anderson- somehow, I find her still redeemable despite her constant inoculation of DB boyfriends.

And then a 3/4 could be a Pilton, for Paris Hilton, as she will never come back from whence she has gone.

That other girl, Nicki Richie, seems a decent example of a Stage 3 reverting back to the safety of Stage 1 viral infection.

These are all pretty standard/weak examples- surely we can get some good new lingo out of this...

- jonezy
 

Is that a relative of The Donk??
 

That's no woman. That's a man, man! Seems like the white deal sticking out of her top is a medical bandage, probably soaking up HIV ladened seepage from his... sorry, shim's implants.

Any shim that would bed down with "There's Something About Mary" cum wave hair and "8 Mile" fucktard on a cow-skin print couch is long gone.

I feel the immediate need to shoot some penicillin laced with Valtrex.

*Note the track mark bruising on shim's supporting arm, towards the bottom of the bend.
 

* Also, insert Carlos Mencia slam here *
 

Well judging from the comments above, I should start dating trannies, 'cause (except for the penciled on eyebrows) I find her mostly attractive. Well, also except for the mumu (that's for ruining it for me BleethLVR995).

Stage 1 at most.
 

Shim is slutty hot.
 

Stage 4= Bleethe
(Yasmin Bleethe)

Stage 3= Winewhore?
(Amy Winehouse)

Stage 2= Simpodouche?
(either Simpson)

Stage 1= Fergalcide
(Fergie)-maybe she should be higher up?


Victoria Beckham could get some props for matching up with Alpha Douche?

-jonezy
 

@scrotebob that's what i thought, he looks like a little brother of donkey. pony douche. mule douche.

i'm with vader, this girl is trashy but i likey. she reminds me of this girl i used to date. she was nuts, she once blew me in a nursing home storage closet, after we just got done visiting her dying grandma. once to my dismay, she put her finger up my ass during intercourse. the event disturbed me so much i lost my hard on and kicked her out my house.

crazy ass jenny jennings.

nowadays, i would kill for that kind of action. now it's just missionary sex every couple weeks while my boston terrier occasionally sniffs my ass.

this chick gets the pass. and by pass, i mean masturbation in my office bathroom remembering crazy ass jenny.
 

@jonezy

While I commend your efforts in naming various stages of the female douche viral infections, I think it's best to still name them all "Bleeth" with a stage number after it. After all, no one says they have a "Magic Johnson" or a "Robert Mapplethorpe" level of HIV/AIDS (relatively benign vs. terminal).

Also, the names listed are pretty subjective. For example, I think Amy Winehouse is in Stage 4, not Stage 3, and I'm not even sure Fergie should qualify for any stage name.

But still, a valiant effort nonetheless.

Just my two coppers...


Quite.
 

I have to fundamentally disagree with the terms proposed above, because Amy Winehouse has never been a hott, and smoking crack instantly disqualifies you as even a bleethed out hott.

that being said, i think post-DUI#2 lohan would be a good candidate for her own stage.

love fergalcide, thats a great one jonezy.

this bleeth has that "i dont even see as far as the camera but i'm sure fucking you wouldnt give me any diseases i dont already have" stare.
 

That is Vanessa from the Tila Tequila reality show. Oy vey.
 

Where do I get the leather-bound, signed version?

Also, is there any way to slip a nude shower-photo of Pfah's wife in there? Of course the photo needs one of those clichéd lipstick kisses on it for the full affect. If you can swing it DB1, I forecast double the sales.
 

that's Seth Green's aborted twin brother on the left.

the chick is yummy. All she needs is a little order in her life to straighten her out and the Bleeth would eventually subside. To curb her bad habits, I would have her make me sandwiches and not drink out of red plastic cups under the threat of revoked suffrage rights and hair dye buying privileges. That should fix it!

hehe, revoking suffrage. A lost endeavor
 

Nice pompadour on Tan-bed. Love the dripping green walls and faux cow-hide. Hunter S. Thompson must have been the interior designer.
 

Definitely from the Donk's pasture.

I don't think the bleeth is that bad besides for the nagging question of where her right arm/hand is.

It's cool they have Powder hanging out with them.
 

Inducing vomit
Girl shares that she has two holes
Bags extend fingers
 

The two guys are...together behind HER...hmmm...the two GUYS are TOGETHER...and close to each other...HMMMM...I don't want to judge here, BUT...
 

... just getting warmed up.
 

joneszy i must repectfully contradict your attempt to malign the simpson girls specifically my sweetheart ashley simpson...see here is the thing, ashley simpson is in fact a wildcat and the least we can do is show her the respect that that type of woman deserves...
first of all forget her music and pretense of music, you don't hold party all the time against eddie murphy or that thomas the train against george carlin...i say ashley simpson is about pure sex not music...
her looks well she used plastic surgery to make herself at least as good as peak level kirsten dunst...good enough in my view..
where she stands out is in that she was a preacher's daughter, she isn't as talented or as physically blessed as her sister leading to a massive inferiority complex, her sister was famous initially for not putt5ing out so guess what ashely became good at? makes sense don't it...
ashley simpson is a wildcat i say it here and i say until proven otherwise...ashley call me...she is one of the best pieces of ass out there
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

Gratuitous plug o the week. Jay I want to buy your book, really I do but I think in the spirit of Abbie Hoffman I'll stuff the copy I intend to keep down my pants. It's seems like the only really cool Tyler sort of thing to do. I will be purchasing a copy that I will then donate (for tax purposes) to a battered women and children center here in Houston. I'm hoping it will serve as sort of a how to guide on avoiding useless piles of shit in society today.
 

nice sofa... or did they just roll in some defective cow carcas?
 

kissy not a bad idea on the women's shelter i say however we make a concerted effort in our communities to get the books put on jr high school summer reading lists in the hopes of correcting young minds before they are lost forever to douche...i however want a signed copy...iwould even make a rare appearance outside of my bomb shelter in the woods to in order to procure one...that db1 is gonna be big someday
 

Guys thats the chick from the realty show "Tila Tequila" shes a nut bag. Shes From Long Island
 

Vader, I am your nephew twice removed before your auntie's divorce. Kissy, so sorry to see you are an Houstonian. Give my love to Ken Lay's grand daughter. And then stop hating.
 

@ bleethlvr995

I only reside in this miserable shithole of a city in this cesspool of a state. I claim Denver when I'm not hangin with my homies cuz they'd put a Nike upside my head if I didn't say I grew up hard in Compton. Fuck Texas and fuck Jeff Killing and Ken Slay. Everything they say about Texas being a shithole and filled with cattle and rednecks with fucked up accents is true man. I'm living the dream baby. I nearly had an anyeruism the 1st time I got taken to a "country" bar and the DJ played Rob Base and DJ Ez Rock's It takes Two and the dance floor/urinal filled up with cowbags. Laughing my ass off while watching those fucking retarded cowboy hats bopping up and down got me trampled by a rather large crowd of big haired hefers, I suffered a collapsed lung but it was fucking worth every second of pain.
 

@duke of douchester 2:50.....that is very kind of you my friend and is duly noted. my other half also sends her appreciation. however, the chances of having a nude photo of my wife in the book are pretty damn slim. especially since it's already been printed, and there's no way i could have talked her into something like that. besides, i wouldn't want you guys getting to see what i do every day. it wouldn't be fair to her, or my penis.
 

@bleethlvr995 - it's spelled "hatin" not hating. What's wrong with you?

@vader - I'm with you - that girl's a cutie. But then, I think men are attractive.
Crap.
That didn't really help, did it.
 

@kissy lips
come on man, not everything from Texas sucks that bad. I'm born and raised in Austin (from whence DB1 got his start in journalistic endeavors), and I do concede that Texas is a state where no one knows how to drive and hillbillies reside. And I'm with you on country dancing...fuck that shit. But honestly, the women in Texas are delectable to say the least, and even you can't deny this.
 

I think Burris brings up a good topic of discussion. My personal view is that in the pics on this site, as in life, there are stylish, bitchy, materialistic, shallow girls and then there are bleeths.

There's not much that needs to be said about the bleeth. They look used up, dead, their hair is all jankety from too much dying and changing styles, just basically trashed out.

The thing that differentiates some of the hots on this site and the douche is that the girl is being hot in her own feminine way and the douche tries to co-opt that fem hottness with kissy lips, shaved bodies, and bling. I remember reading a bit of DB1 commentary and his simple statement sums it up: "let the hott be hot."

Guys have our own, manly ways of attracting women. It would be one thing if this army of scrotes were trying to break through the narrow bounds of male sexuality in our society, but these guys are generally selfish assholes and not trying to lead a male sexual revolution at all.

Oh, and I like the thread about the names of the bleeth stages. Here's my two cents:

Stage 4 - have to stay with Bleeth.

Stage 3 - a Ferg. Verb form - ferg'd. Another poster put Fergie at 1 and thought she might deserve to be higher. She is just plain nasty. Like a bionic douchebaguette.

Stage 2 - Tara Reid. The Tara Reid is a stage 2 bleeth that is returning from higher levels of bleethdom.

Stage 2 - The Jessica. For bleeths ascending the scale. Miss Simpson has just gotten skinnier, uglier, and oranger over the past several years. I say in five years, she will lose her beauty completely (and not from age) and be lost forever to the regions of stage 4 bleeth.

Stage 1 - Kardashian. I don't know really how douchey she is, but if you're rich, hanging out with Paris Hilton, and have your own reality show, you're probably pretty douche. Maybe she's already douchier than the nation's collective mind realizes??
 

Kissy & Bag Queen. What's up w/ you two? I think you need a private chat room to work out the tension, and by private chat room I mean one of thse anything goes Japanese geisha houses.

No way on naming the stages. The variability & unpredictability of the hotts is a basic principle.

We could, however, throw names at the douche on douche violence that goes on here. Defend a city's virtues because of architecture and you pull a Brian S. Go scatological and you are, well, pick one of 30 regulars. Talk about obscure sports and commit a Bag Queen. Is hockey that game they play with a marble and bottle caps in the depression era movies?
 

I really don't get the flip-the-bird when you take a photo thing --is that an automatic qualification for Douchebag?

Do you you later look at your photos and say -- "Hey, we all look so cool!"
 

the bagger on bagger violence seems inevitable given the about to busrt popularity this site could be in for as a full fledged book is coming out( every bloggers dream and could give db1 metablog popularity)...maybe a companion message board to debate the side topics sometimes started but then washed out...i dunno
 

Is that Donkey Douche on the right?

Yeah, this gal just screams "class". I'd take her home to meet my mama. The best part is that the years of smoking have made her sound like Don LaFontaine when she's whispering sweet nothings into your ear. And is it just me, or does she have that kind of skintone that makes it impossible to tell where her nipples begin? Maybe that pack of smokes is acting as a marker.

As for the douchetonic duo behind her: Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, sons.
 

A little late to this party, but my first thought wasn't a pack of cigarettes--I assumed she just had a wad of gauze stuck to her chest to cover up some festering, open sore.
 

I dunno, batou.......that's really pretty much what I'm doing. Not quite that fat, yet.


-JCD
 

Is the douche throwing the sideway bird the younger brother of Donkey Douche?
 

friday morning fun fact:

consuming large amounts of red wine gives me diarrhea.

goddamnit why is this bitch still here? db1, you gotta stop drinking so early.
 

funny,consuming large amounts of red wine gave me kids. (i'd rather have the diarrhea)
 

Dude that's Vanessa from the Tila Tequila show...how sad...
 

isn't this the girl from a shot at love with tila tequila?

the crazy one? vanessa?
 

+1 on Austin not really being part of the rest of Texas.

I lived there for a few years and have to say that it is most definitely not what most people think of when they think "Texas."

Austin is kick ass.

We now return to our regularly scheduled Bag Hunting...
 

I don't know if anyone said this yet, but this guy is a dead ringer for Donkey Douche's little brother.
 

@bleethlvr995: I think I need to be held. And maybe fed chocolate covered strawberries.
Will someone please tell me who Brian S is?
 

thats a great hairdo
 

As a woman equally appalled at what qualifies a woman as hot as I'm sure men are at these preening ninny dudes... Birds of a feather flock together. Do not pity these women for hanging out with these dudes. They know very well that they could be hanging out with others. It is out of sheer golddigging foolery that they are caught dead with these false-plumed peacocks.
 

isn't that the crazy b%!&%^ from tila tequila? remember, the staten island ho!