She's got that skank-hott thing going on.

Which I love.
 

This reminds me of the Venice Beach scene in Fletch when the Cops arrest Gummy and Fletch throws a rock through the back window of the cruiser. She looks like Mrs Stanwyck, he looks like John Cococotosin.
"I want to pay you to kill me". Gladly, douchebag.
 

She's got that hott hott thing going on.

Which makes me want to crush this bag in a baler.
 

Alright, douchebag. You, sir, are polluting the beach of my entire history. Dockweiler (just south of the Fletch scene, Danny) deserves better than you. We've already have to deal with 747s flying about 500 feet overhead, oil spills, the sewage plant, and about 250,000 ppm of bacteria...so we don't need you're sorry ass. Please, go infect the Jersey shore, which is already beyond hope.
You're underaged hott, however, can stay. Please request that she call three of her hottest friends to come meet her. I'll be there shortly to pick them all up.
 

This picture doesn't do this douche justice...everyone knows that most douchetraits aren't visible from this distance..Yes, we can see the bagtoo on his neck and the super gay dog-collar wristband..but I can't make out the t-shirt and he might have a bagdana underneath that horrible white hat...my guess is that his sister (the whore on the right) just got runner-up in the highly coveted Beer Girl of the Month at the local Dive Bar where you can get some sucky sucky and fries with a nice frothy stein of beer to wash it all down..the sad thing is this douche is posting this pic on myspace to make him look cool
 

@douche vader

Don't forget that hott's friends should come to meet her for a pillow fight in their lingerie.

Two-tone-haired chicks like this one rock my world. Douches like this one rock my suspension...as I drive over them.
 

Douche is a bit over-dressed for the beach.

He is holding her like a hostage.



guru
 

Is that pic even real? Looks computer generated.
 

Normally I don't like the streak of oddly colored hair....but in her case, I'll make an exception.

Normally, I'm for the display of young love in the spring time at the beach, but in this case...there ought to be a law against it.
 

he looks uncomfortable
 

Man DB1! If this pic is for real...I am officially ending my life this afternoon by doing a swan dive out my 44th floor office window.....Had I known years ago as a teenager that all I had to do to get Hotts like that was be a complete and total douchebag....why did I bother studying to get into college, work hard at this career, become a productive non-douche member of society, etc.....when all I really had to do was be a complete and utter douchebag like this guy....Good bye dear friends!! Please God, reincarnate me as a Douche!!!
 

Dvader--

I too grew up close to Dockweiler but stayed away due to the sewage in the water and douches on the beach. Hermosa was more my style, now I'm stuck on the east coast where it's 16 degrees today. I almost had a heart attack when I went outside this morning.
 

@Danny-

Times have changed, mon. Except for the hooligans having bonfires (myself included), Dockweiler is nearly deserted, which makes it rather pleasant. Hermosa, on the other hand, is the new South Bay Douche Mecca. The lines to get in the bars that serve shitty beer and play excessively loud hip hop pop are case in point. Sharkey's burned down, tho, which makes me feel just a little bit better every time I ride my bike past it's burnt out husk.
 

The pic is real.
They used fill flash against a backlit subject.
He's still a douche.
She's still my unobtainable California Dream.
And by "Dream" I mean a lovely swan-like neck for placing my pearl necklace several times daily.
 

It used to be that a hot chick would go for a guy that had something to offer; good looks, talent, personality, money and/or power. Now it's simply a matter of making stupid faces, dressing like a slob, getting drunk and acting like a complete fucktard. Rejoice, hott hunters! For the bar falls ever lower!
 

We're only six weeks into this new year and I've already found my number one pet peeve douche trait — jeans at the beach. This is the fourth or fifth Taintsniff to pollute our precious shores with his dungarees.

She's the surf-punk Coppertone Hott and he's the mangy douchehound trying to yank down her bikini bottom. Smack that dog with a rolled up newspaper, but don't rub his nose in it. I'll take care of that.
 

This looks like a still shot from some MTV reality dating show.
 

Her scalp is menstruating.
 

the two fingers of crisco per eye socket eye shadow must be the new blue eye shadow of yesterbleath...some day it will be judged as such she is tall lean no ass little boob...apple cheeks but generic hair...maybe i am too critical because i got some last night, but she really doesn't do it for me...that creeping cocktus-fern-ivy neck tattoo is just pathetic and bag looks like yeardley smith (simpsons voice actress)
 

Newman's Own: Admit it, you'd do Yeardley Smith just to hear Lisa Simpson screaming "Harder! Harder! Oh SHIT!".

Admit it. There's no shame here.
 

@darksock

I'd go one step further. I'd do Nancy Cartwright to hear Bart's voice screaming, "Pound it! Pound that shit!"
 

Well if we're going to go that route, I'd probably do Dan Castellaneta just to hear him say "Mmmmmm, oh yeah, mmmmm, oh that's it..."
 

He.......needs to be erased outta this photo. Mebbe I'm a sucker for the look, but lemme re-state for the record: GOD DAMN I LOVE SOCAL!!! I think South Mission...but others are saying Dockweiler, wherever that is...

This chick is fucking HOT btw
 

I wonder if her stool has tinges of red in it also? She should get that shit checked.
 

@douche vader

Now I have Homer's voice stuck in my head, saying "Mmmm...anal..."
 

I'd do Harry Shearer, because then I could hear BOTH Mr. Burns say "Eeeexcellent" and Mr. Flanders saying "Ooh, that just feels super duper okey-dokey back there; boy howdie!".
 

I don't suppose anyone wants to do Julie Kavner; Marge Simpson's love throes must sound like someone trying to jump-start an old Dodge in the Montana winter. Or Plinky's mom scratching blackheads out of her ass.
 

Darksock and Mr. White:

I went deep into the heart of douche this weekend (Vegas). I emerged with some of the best mental images of hot girls and buxom strippers... only to have you two immediately block my mental mainstream with thoughts of yellow-skin fetishes and mine-fields of love (Plinky's mom's ass).

An ASU little darling even asked to be my hoe for a night, but now all I hear in my head is, "Ohhhhhhh Hoooooooomer!," while I imagine plowing Mrs. S. from behind.

And yes, the carpets match the curtains.
 

darksock not only that but she gave me legit chub in the legend of billie jean,,,i'd even change my pecker's name to milhouse for her
 

Ha ha ha darksock. At least my mom doesn't wear jeans and a white baseball cap to the beach and poses with her own daughter in an eerily incestual way.

BTW, your sister is SMOKING!
Speaking of smoking, it's time for me to go cure the ham.

(HA, brand-spanking new euphemism for masterbation.)

BTW darksock, the "her scalp is menstrating" crack was classic.
Makes me glad to be back in the game. And I promise never to touch airplane glue ever again!
 

And to all you jealous faggits out there ... GET OFF MY MOM! Cause I want a turn!!

ba-dum-bump {{cymbal}}
 

and to put a bow on it it its not blood she is mestruating out of her head its mung...a la putter yeardley's character explaining becoming a woman in legend of billie jean...oh milhouse how could you
 

how many douche points can you possibly score in one stroke? jesus! chin pubes, tribal kneck tattoos, tilted hat, chinstrap sideburns, mandanna.

please god, make it stop!!!

someone needs to grab this girl, drag her to the nearest spigot, spray off all the douche juice and give her a spanking.
 

Nice fill flash... Nice hot chick too.
 

Is this a violation of his probation? I mean, after all, it is a lead pipe cinch this creep could fuck up a one-sided rock fight.
 

I had been hoping that this hott had been photoshopped onto our young hero here. Not the case.
He looks about 14, isn't it illegal to tattoo folks under the age of 18?
I agree with Bagnes of god. WTF is it with smokin' hott bleeths all over douches like this?!! Who would pay someone who looked this scrotal to do a job?!!
That pisses me off even more. The idea of her paying his way.
Fuck.
 

Earl Wayne Douchie had to put three quarts of oil in the truck to make it to Myrtle Beach from Johnson City. Earl never takes off them jeans...even wears em in the goddamne pool. I seen this here shit on MTV. Leaving his Davie Allison memorial cap in the truck, the good 'ol douche snuggles up to his first cousin, who's he's been finger banging for years.

If there is a molecule of justice in the universe, he was beaten with a chain 30 seconds after this pic was taken.
the hott -no body fat & definite clit piercing.
 

I am searching the house for a chain, as I purchase a plane ticket right now.
This sort of shit cannot be tolerated.
 

In my next horror movie, I will cast him as the taciturn and questionably inbred "Yokel No.2" that looks on from the back of the truck as the mouthy, gum-cracking and unquestionably inbred tow-truck driver (played by Jeff Fahey) comes to the "rescue" of the four co-eds that get stranded on a country road at midnight on their way to, fuck I dunno, to have sex or something. Then they'll all get eaten by zombies.

And I will cast her as my lap janitor.
 

that chick has been touched up with a computer.
 

@ Baron: I'd suggest Bill Fagerbakke if Faheh's not available. He played a great Tom Cullens in "The Stand", and he's Patrick from Spongebob, too.

I'm using "lap janitor" this week, in a client meeting if at all possible.
 

I'll see your Bill Fagerbakke and raise you an unshaven Robert Z'Dar.
 

Damn, Baron; I should have known better than to test you. Crow T. Robot from MST3K called Robert Z'Dar a catcher's mitt with eyes.

All I had was Luis Guzman. I fold.
 

No shame in folding, 'sock ol' man. Ours is a gentleman's game and I'd have it no other way. After all, you're the only one that gets my jokes half the time.

But if you had called, you should know I was ready to play Luis De Jesus. Cuz I'm evil. LOOK UPON HIS IMDB PAGE AND DESPAIR!!!!
 

Ach mein Gott!
 

please don't sully the reputation of the skate community by labeling this 'bag a skater. although he probably owns a longboard. i think they're government-issue for college students anymore.