I think we may have our first hermaphrodouche there on the left. It almost looks like the Ab Lobster had a sex change. Same douchie expression, same douchie hand signal ...

Nice mamms on the right, though.
 

@ain't whistlin'
I think the girl on the left would be hot if she could trade boobs with girl on the right.
 

If Rebecca on the left loses her "R" necklace, I volunteer to go into the crevasse with the search party.
 

Here we have the rare Purple Penis Beater. The two-headed he/she beast has lured a young peppy titmouse into its lair. Such a shame when they're Bleethed so young and perky.
 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaack
*retches*

Niiiiiiice herpes....
That shits erupting like Vesuvius on Pompeii. And...and...

*runs*
 

R hott is one deep breath away from a gigantic boobie blowout.

DB is proof that you CAN pierce too many things on the human body nowadays. If I had a giant magnet, he would be in serious trouble.
 

Serious, if you were a woman(we need bag queen's input here), How could you stand to get near this kid's face? Would you let him go down? Show him off to the parents & friends?

Oh, his kingdom for a bar of soap...and a cleaver to remove the jaundiced hands. My skin crawls lookin at this petri dish.
 

the 'bag needs even more metal in his head so i can get one of those cranes with the gigantic magnets to lift him up and disposit him in a car crusher
 

That chick does look just like Ab Lobster.
 

r is actually a cue card for the douchebag...his butt pirates of the carribean review has him saying lines at intervals throughout the show and a 1 word vocan is beyond his verbal abilities...
purple hair drag queen answers to the name ida dunham
and spunky right girl with boobs
has bleethy eyes and earl shieb highlights but man i would bang her like the spirit drum at cheerleading camp
 

A black bra underneath a see-through white shirt... Classy. Well, whatever gets you noticed I guess.
As for mug and cross-bones, that gesture is only acceptable if you are a wrestler in the WWE.
He needs another facial piercing though. I'm thinking a javelin through the temple. What do you guys think?
 

Did this guy stumble face-first into a tackle-box?

Nice, and by nice I mean very nice, rack on polka dot hott. Is that an unfortunately located mole or a herp sore on her lip?
 

he is the baddest white man in the bronx
 

Holy Meth Bag....welcome to Riverside, CA.
 

Just a question:

What happens if you take out these ear lobe stretching earrings? Does the skin look like paps from a mother of 12?

-Johnny come douchey
 

This is a modern day remake of the leporsy island scene from Pappion. Notice his lesions and left man/chick is pointing where hers will be. Spunk reciever on the right will soon be diseased as these two Jerry's kids.
So sad.
 

This dude got his ass kicked for holding up the line through the metal detector security check point at the international airport.

Then he was detained by security and given a body cavity search...

Apparently he had more than facial piercing that needed to be verified.

That's not the worst part though the worst part is he asked the security officer that performed the search for his phone number.

Dixie chic hotts are grade A prime Beef by this guys standards; me though I'm still waiting to see if Jessica Alba is gonna carry full term.
 

@Johnny Come Douchey

My sources (friends of people who got those lobe stretchers) say that if you don't leave them in too long, the ear will close back up, but the larger the hole and the longer you leave them in, the more likely that your earlobe will forever hang down to your shoulders, and low-flying baby birds will get caught in the holes.
 

Guys this one is a free repeater, I haven't been able to locate the exact date but I'm sure he got those ear tags when we darted him the last time for our free range douchebag sterilization campaign.

Hott on the left? Nope tranny for sure.

Hott on the right? Nope nice rack but you'd have to hit that in the darkest corner of the club to avoid the face. Blech!

Official ruling - Pic disqualified for lack of hotts.
 

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Ugh, the piercings.

Likely nominee for this year's "Most Metallic" Douchie.
 

i agree with kissy lips. no hot chicks here. just a trifecta of pierced douches.
 

On closer review......
The tranny on the left is doing a Donna dressup from that 70's Show.
Why did he raid Aunt Bea's jewlery box and put on her clip on earrings that she won in the raffle at the Moose Lodge? This is some serious white trash douche mess that cries out for a mixture of napalm, broken glass and large ravenous beasts.
 

He looks like what "Eddie" would look like had he not been the mascot for Iron Maiden and had skin.

Wait, strike that, Eddie's actually cool.
 

There's nothing wrong with Boobarella's face that a burlap sack wouldn't fix. O.K., two burlap sacks.
 

"Aarrrrrgh. Semen first class Buttplug McSquirt reporting for dooty on the HMS Ben Dover. Aarrrrrgh."
 

Two people have nailed it--DB1, can we get a side-by-side of this tranny and Ab Lobster? It is either the same person, or they are kin. If the latter is the case, I need to know where they buried their mother after she realized what crap she'd brought into the world and jumped off a bridge.

-Alexander Graham Douche
 

This cocksucking scrote needs some Crest Whitening Gel and a kick in the temple.
 

I don't hate facial piercings, just gross ones, and by gross I mean anything other than labret, septum, nostril, lip. This means bridge piercings and cheek piercings. That's my personal taste and not everyone else's. Also it is disgusting when people overdo it, like this dickwad. Trying to have a conversation with these people is disorienting because the face is so busy your eyes get sore from flitting back and forth between all that space junk stapled to it.


Ear mutilations are also gross and unfortunate. Like a clit piercing, it makes me cringe - mainly because they are both sensitive erogenous zones. I would also imagine it would desensitize the area. I've seen what it looks like when the earlobe stretcher is taken off. It's floppy and gross, like an empty nutsack. Well, what I imagine an empty nutsack would look like, since I've never seen one. An earlobe is beautiful the way it is - leave it alone. Why do people think it's cool to permanently stretch the shit out of your skin? That's what old age is for asshole.

But - whatever turns your crank I guess. It's a free world. Which means I am free to deem this dude a tool.

That's my two cents. For what it's worth. Which, I guess, by default is two cents.

Arr arr arr... reef the mainsails!
 

Anyone want to guess the tensile strength rating on Boobarella's under wire? Pop that baby with a bolt cutter and Sluggo's headless faster than a reporter at a Jihad rally in Fallujah.
 

And there has to be at least 2 to 3 inches between her eyesockets, not that anyone made it there.
 

"ain't whistlin douchie said... " has got it right - hermaphroscrote material there on the left of this pic - for the love of all things (un)holy, I hoped this day would never come, but alas...the End Days are near, my friends...
 

"YARRRRRRRR!!!!"
 

@ bagganeers banzai - This tool wouldn't last ten minutes north of 145th Street. Hell, even the nice Jewish kids in Riverdale would kick the shit out of him just on general principal for look like such an ass sucking bone smuggler.

Yo, First Mate Jolly Roger, if you insist of flexing, get your moronic constipated ass to a gym and tone up your chicken wings. You look about as butch as a teletubby in assless leather chaps. Purple hair tranny on his right definitely is the "top" in their feltch parlor.
 

I need my contractor-grade shovel.

The one with the unbreakable handle.

Now.
 

aaaarrrgh...if ye burn any o' dem boobies wit your ciggie, it's overboard wit yer arse!

(I know the pirate thing's been played out but can't help it)
 

I thought this was Hot Chicks with Douche Bags. Those chicks are pigs!
 

Them ta-ta's ain't that big, guys--sorry. I'm a chick, and I know the "shrug and squish" move when I see it. It even makes my teeny boobies look big.

And no, I wouldn't want Mr. Hook-face near my crotch. I love piercings, when they complement a face. Unfortunately, I don't think ANYTHING would complement this dude's face, except a paper sack.
 

I've seen plenty of hand signals (the inverted horns and the "bunny ears" most often), but I'm at a loss for what his means.

Perhaps he wears these two as mittens?
 

Clearly, this chode needs to take that cigarette and jam it into his eye.

And boobies on the left may be a result of "shrug and squish", but I'd like to get in between them when she does it.

Indiana Douche and the Last Douchebag
 

Gawd, the herp has already gotten into his eye and swelled it shut. Hopefully that's a huge fatty he's smoking. Cannabis has magical healing powers, even over STDs.
Legalize Marijuana.
Do it for the Douchebags.
 

Verily, I cannot think of any choad on the site who better sums up all things douche than this...this...object. Hand gesture with cigarette, pirate douche-face, Something About Mary hott by left shoulder, bagshine, mandanna covering The Mark which will soon burn through. This guy has it all, plus necrotic tissue about the mouth. Impressive! Quintessential douche. Kudos!
 

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yes. the move he's pulling is known as the pirate...
The Angry Pirate...
God bless little miss giggly seethru boobie shirt on the right. How could you not want to make her walk funny the rest of her life?
And as for purple people eater on the left there... You just know when it's rag week her worn out cranks are gonna look like Kurt Cobain's ceiling.

6:54 AM