Is Tosser the new Wanker?
 

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was he typing out that hatemail with one hand while simultaneously wanking himself with the other and looking at pictures of britain's finest--- the gator?

answer: yes. unless, of course, the lobster was actually giving him a blow job at said time... which wouldn't be out of the question, odds wise.
 

Tosser=Douche, but in ghetto-class brit Limey society.

Fucking christ do I have a soft spot for garters.


err, hard spot, sorry.
 

Hello. I am middle aged, color coordinated douche wanna-be. Yes, that's right. I aspire to be Douche even though I am intellectually capable of normality. Hotts beacon, though, and I just have this need to feel "ultra-something." Boy, the ensembles these Bleeths put together. Just scrumptious. Uh, my. Sooooo Faaaaahbuluous. Wait, do straight guys talk this way? Oooooooops!

Meanwhile, I'd hump her crazy-eyed self into some sanity. Do 35 yr old hotts still qualify for two "t's?"
 

They do in garters, my friend. As Pfah would tell ya, even Bea Arthur can be rather scrumptious in 'em. Hell, Darksock's MOM might even be hittable in 'em.

I'm just sayin'.
 

By the way, I order my porn under the name Stu Peters. Classic. All I need now is Giant Watch. Brah! Wait. Did I mention Brah?!

Better sign off. Middle Age Hot(t) charges by the quarter hour and I just burned through my bonus from Chanel Pair-ee. I just luuuuuv those poofy armbands. Swell! Wait, I'm strait. No, REEEEEAAAALLLLY! Silly American Boys! I can do anything you can do better! ...text me!
 

I'd definitely do a backside smith grind across that perfectly-curved backside arch. Backside, then frontside...a boneless, mebbe sweep the tail....but I would stay away from the frontside stalefish, and the nosepick.
 

I just find desert camo sooo macho. Like a fine Chiante in a bubble bath! And the fellows...er.. LADIEES!!! find my fabulously draping grey tank just soooo enticing. Anyone up for a foam partee? Those darn bears just always want me to look THAT way! Oooops! Am I too ambiguous? I'm STRAIGHT! Reallllly! And I only hang out with old lady MILF's when my ex like totally has my kids. You're sooooo BAD!
 

i think our friend stu is pulling our collective chain. he's a fan of our beloved HCwDB, but he just can't bring himself to admit it yet. which is fine. no worries stu. go have a pint on us.

oh hey stu...has the dental coverage in the UK gotten any better? last time i was there, you guys had more yellow teeth than the French.

i'm just sayin'....
 

Psycho eyes much? Geez.
 

Ouch. Why do I look at this site at work? The tan line from her thong that she's not wearing is driving me crazy.
 

I wish I understood the need to defend douchebags. Will someone help me understand? How can you not look at this dude and laugh?
I don't know. I seriously think that the guys that send hatemail must think the dudes look fucking cool wearing Flava-Flave's rejected accessories from 1990 and doing shit like the inverted evil eye, like this ass. Holding it up-side down like that, does that make it a "good" eye?
Speaking of eyes, there's enough red-eye this pic to scare a rabid zombie.
I think I'll say the word "eye" again.
Seriously he'd look better if he was just wearing a cod-piece. Then they would at least match.
 

DB1,
tell that tosser to puff a fag after he shagged his irish Setter in the fanny for a fortnight.
 

me likey the french-canadian maid outfit...its not as iconic as the original but it implies the same things you love and love to hate about the bleeth contained within..like leonard cohen and sass jordan on one hand and cirque de soliel moon frye and celine dion on the other.my hard will go on but i still wanna see gasoline dion next time they play live....
ok the fatigue cargos are one thing...but the matching sweat band makes him an incorrigible douche watch wife beater and jr buttafuocco demeanor give him one thing our letter writer lacks...authenticity
 

What do you get when you splice Dan Cortes DNA with Matt Lauer DNA: Army Douche, Sargent Bag of Baker Company, the purveyor of over-sized watches
 

First time away from home, I suppose. Get a fucking life!
 

niiger
 

Ol' Stu is a giant poof what likes to bugger young boys.
Piss off you bloody nutter.
 

People....
This douche is a common sight in places such as Palermo, Malaga and Nice. Any Euro "holiday" destination where mid life crisis bag can hide from wife and 2 & a half mutant, fish and chip eating, turd making soon to be douche offspring.
Maid Marion is still impressed with Bag's stories of capturing Saddam and pissing on his statue.
 

I vote "chav" on this one.

Or "scally".

The Brits' version of douche, but with less class.
 

...but I mean on stu, not on the pic.

That's straight-up, textbook douche.

With garden-variety, extra-sweet, hybrid bleeth/hott. Perfect for canning.
 

Just wondering, how would you masturbate with your shirt in your underpants. I don't understand the comment. Also is that a picture of stu or is it the guy stu thinks about when he masturbates, with his shirt tucked into his underpants.
 

Limey 'Bags FTL, always.
 

I think it's the subtle hit of white bikini-bottom tan line on the top of her well curved buttcheek that gets me looking through the phone book for maid services.

Of course, if the maid comes over with eyes looking like that, I'm going to hide all the sharp objects and remove all plastic bags from reach.
 

There aren't as many Douchebags in England as in the US simply because of the teeth situation. You can't be a douchebag if you can eat corn on the cob through a picket fence.

Lucky Limeys.
 

she poops plain M&M's
 

darksock, you are hilarious!
 

hobo not reeses feces?
 

Stu, bollocks to ya mate, and suck me rowlers.
 

she is uber hott, mainly because her butthole yodels and sputters for my man yogurt like a baby condor squawks for rancid flesh.
 

Gee Wizz, looks like some limey POS met up with White Chocolate,exchanged some body fluids and got a big gay watch in return.