I would with great pleasure climb mount everest wearing only a wife beater shirt then snowboard back down very fast for the chance to sniff the hands of the Himalayain who might have knitted her top, sheesh she hott!!!
 

Kelly Ka-POW-ski is right.

Since they are at a weighlifting/bodybuilding event, he may still be in costume or just showing out to not look so small next to the Pumpy-wannabes of the world. If he lost the necklace and earrings, I'd declare Notta. But as he is, he is Douchious Maximus.

Please, don't hurt me sir. Your girl is lovely and should be respected by all who view her.
 

I'm surprised that ice-luge in the backround did not instantly evaporate in the presence of such large-breasted hott and Jersey "I lift weights for fun and then beat off to Roadhouse" Sleeze. She is more delectable than a case of White Castles.
 

This guy looks like the first Darren from Bewitched after a human growth hormone bender.

Speaking of whore moan, I would swim naked through an olympic swimming pool filled with cat shit in front of a clearly disapproving Pope flanked by Nipsy Russell and legendary crooner Ray Conniff just for the priviledge of sodomizing the small dog that once cocked its head inquisitively in response to one of her high-pitched farts.
 

Ssssssssssssmoking.
 

Sprinkles and chopped nuts and extra whipped cream... did I mention extra whipped cream.

Oh luscious...
 

Not a douche? Please. Just add Grey Goose.
 

Terrible call on Kelly K, looks nothing like her
 

this guy is a stage 5 douche..notice how his arms are disproportionate to the rest of his body...it's like he did bi's and tri's 3 times per day for a year straight but didn't bother to work on any other part of his body because all that matters is that pose where he puts his hands in his pockets but at the same time he is able to flex his douche arms for everyone to see..I could probably bench more than him and I only have one arm...I am willing to bet his right forearm is fuckin huge due to pulling the goalie excessively and punching his whore everytime Chad Pennington gets sacked
 

MUSCLE MIIIIIIIIILK!!!!! I agree with Anonybag, This was taken pre Jaeger Bombs.
 

Darksock, you're out there man.
 

Staten Island is worse.
My wife was watching True Life: I'm a Staten Island Girl, and all the girls described their perfect guy. They all described your standard, buff, tank-top wearing, bling-displaying, tat-having, orange-skinned douchebag.
 

Holy crap that chick is hot! What a perfect rack!
 

This guy seems to have one huge eye and one very small eye. This leads me to believe that he has an acute case of lopsidoucheitis resulting in one side of his body being ridiculously over inflated and the other small and withered. This may also explain his un-baggish pose.
 

Hott looks like she has went cross-eyed, probably from checking on her two funbags. I would bang this Hott hard and often.
 

@john peterson

I saw that same show. The only time I ever stepped foot on Staten Island when I lived in NYC was to go to the excellent Madolin Bros. guitar store, but I avoided interacting with any of the other "human" reisdents while there. The fact that the place is even more chock-full of douchebags and their baguettes was made even more painfully real by that show. Warning: If you don't like listening to one of the worst accents ever created by humans, do not watch that show. You will have horrible, violent, tongue-biting, pants-shitting seizures.
 

cc, I agree. There's nothing sexier than a hott that's has one eye that's a little crossed eyed, er cock-eyed.
 

his damn arms are about as big as my legs. his belt buckle is as big as my pool cover. her breasts are as big as two hot air balloons. her skirt is as short as my temper today. his jeans are holier than St. Paul. her top is as tight as my first girlfriend in high school. and that ice sculpture is about as cold as a witches tit in a brass bra.

....aaaand i'm spent.
 

everytime i try to go write something funny, i read darksocks shit and everything falls apart. 5 minutes later, after numerous fluids have exited out of orifaces they are not supposed to, i try to conjure up something and come up blank.

i do love the amount of quartasians so far this year.

there is a picture of me when i was a little kid that my mom took after i just ripped ass. i was making the same face this guy is making.
 

Totally true. There's so much douchitude back there that it spreads into the realm of even the decent guys. Its almost like douchebaggery is a way of life. They are raised into it, they cannot escape it. The only question is: do they evolve and stay current with their 'baggery (popped collars, grey goose, etc), or do they get stuck in the 'baggery of their adolescent years (seen here). It sucks 'cause either way, hott chics follow...
 

PS - she's hot.
 

The hott is perfectt. As for "I'll be nice around your moms douche," notice that his forearms are bigger than his thighs. This dude is counting the minutes before he can hit the club, don the mandana, and flash a hand signal. What a sweet n scrumptious little muffin she is. Mmmmmmm.
 

yes to the quartasians
I LOVE EM ALL
 

fucking genius
 

Holy GOD this girl is incredible. If some muscles, matching earrings, and neck bling are what it takes to get her then douche on, I'm sad to say. Douche the fuck on.
 

Sign me up for Douche classes. You losers can write about me and my Jersey hott when I graduate.
 

I don't know if this guy is actually a 'bag or not... wait, I just saw the jeans. Never mind.
 

@darksock - You have me in tears!!! I honestly don't remember the last time I read something so ridiculous.
A perfect example of why I love this site!
 

He seems harmless enough. Living in Jersey helps me separate the wheat from the chaff, I suppose.

She is pretty f'n hot though.
 

As I state almost daily, no person living in such proximity to the galactic center of the douchiverse, the scrote singularity that is New Jersey, can do so without becoming infected. The wretched outer borough of Staten Island (motto: where Manhattan sends its trash), mentioned repeated by the fine posters herein, is nothing but a blacktop conduit for uber-chodes from Jersey to pilot their IROCs and BMW 3 Series bag-mobiles from North Jersey via the Goethals and Verrazano bridges into Brooklyn then onward in to Queens via the Belt Parkway across Long Island.

Is it any coincidence that Staten Island and Long Island are so douchey when they serve as a major transit route for Jersey 'Bags and attendant bleeths? I think not.
 

oh - and good call on the first "Darren" of Bewitched. Although I Darren never smiled as nicely as like this guy. Or at all, come to think of it.
 

Bag queen huh? I think you will be my first female baghunter crush of 08. Just go with it hunny bunny, it'll be over when the next hott comes along.


So queen........ how's it going?
 

i gotta go with a qualified nottadouche on this one...given nature and nurture working against him it was an uphill battle...but i bet if hott walked by my table after work and i was too lubed on
standard corporate douche libations(scotch switching to beer later) and i said to my group looking at her skirt "i tawt i taw a puddy tat" guy would only shrug and not make much of an issue of it as long as i didn't linger on the topic
 

There have been recorded instances in history where scientists have discovered what has come to be known as the DOUCHUS ANIMUS- "douche with soul" in Latin. From the outside, all appears scrote-worthy, but if you look into it's eyes, you can see that a "light is on." I can't imagine the pain of being a normal human trapped in the body of a douche. We must protect these noble creatures and have pity upon them, as they were not chosen to be born this way.
 

As a female resident of the fine Garden State, my only comment is "HELP ME PLEASE!"

As for Scroter the Unstoppable, you have that commute all wrong! It is NJ that has to, especially during the summer, suffer the migration of those from the outer boroughs, particularly Brooklyn and SI. It's a never ending traffic jam of NY plates and accents that ruins any shore north of LBI! If the beaches of LI are so superior, please tell these folks so they can head east next summer. We have enough of our own home grown douche. We don't need out-of-state douche as well!!
 

Pinky quartasian Jersey Mini-Skirt Hott is wearing some sort of corset-weight lifter belt around her toasty little waist ... I wonder if she'd let me very gently unwind it from her for the privlege of sniffing her dainty sweat.

I'm going to go masturbate and cry.
 

Jersey? Shhhh, you ain't seen douche 'til you've seen Dallas. The home of the $30K millionaire. More 'bags than Lipton.
As for hawt, I would crawl into a closet smeared in Hillary Clinton's feces, and cut myself all about my shaven body with Bon Jovi CDs broken into five equal pieces while being sodomized by Andrew "Dice" Clay and listening to Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA" while Kevin Smith pees on me just to smoke her aunt's toenail clippings.
 

By the way, we separate north and south Jersey, as North Jersey is NY douche.

I understand Jersey as a whole taking it on the chin, but until you've been here, trust me, north Jersey is the sewer of NY.

As always, New Yorkers have ruined a perfectly livable state and ruined it
 

can guys be bleethed?

what if he's just a nice guy, corrupted from something in the air, or his douchebag friends?

both of them look like alright kids. chick ain't that hot, tho--y'all just like that rack.
 

@ anon 5:31 PM - The NY/LI bags heading south in the summer is simply a case of the chickens coming home to roost, darling.

@ douche bagstein - I grew up in Dallas and the memory scars are plentiful but you ain't seen 'bag 'till you've been down the Jersey shore in the summer as anon 5:31 so accurately states. It's like the Arctic in summer after all the migratory birds fly north in summer. Long Beach Island makes Rehab look like a Mensa convention.
 

I would cheerfully eat a broken-glass-and-placenta sandwich whilst undergoing a hydrochloric acid enema during a duet by Rip Taylor and Fran Drescher just to lick a toilet seat she may have used.
 

darksock1+ for nipsy russel.
 

These kind of guys make me sick. I bet he sucks in bed. Poor girl.