Uh, did douchebag on the right have chin fungus PERMANENTLY TATTOOED ONTO HIS FACE? Because, if so, ah HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Oh man, and we thought Vanessa had daddy issues.
Speaking of Vanessa, I would like to help her find herself. I would start by looking in her blouse. I'm pretty sure she's in there somewhere, and would be very diligent in the search. It could take days. Weeks even.
 

vader beat me to it. Can't believe that ass hat tattoo'd a landing strip on his face. epic. confirmed.
 

That looks like one of the biggest Douche Bags in hollywood. Pete Wentz. Why is that dude not on here yet.
 

um, i was going to mention the chin pubes tatted onto the nutsack on the right, but, well, it doesn't bear repeating.

EPIC FAIL.
 

If there was one more them, they could be the bag version of Voltron, Douchetron. By themselves, they are little pussy bitches who hide in their bedrooms and pretend to hate their parents and cut themselves as they listen to slayer albums backwards but when they are together, they become powerful enough to go in public and...well...get laughed at and beat up by non-douches...thumbs up you fuckin 4-pod of douche juice
 

nyhc? raybeez is thrashing in his grave. ughhh.
 

Hey - Do you want to play game now? Ok, here, I help:

One of these things is not like the other things.
One of these things just doesn't belong.
Can you guess which thing is not like the other thing before I finish my song?

Now look closely. Look. Now something here...one of these things does not belong. Now I'll give you a hint. It has to do with the douchebag/hottie ratio in this pic, ok? You ready? No? Ok, keep looking. I look too. This is hard even for a DB hunter. Keep looking. Oh did you guess? Yeah?

Did you guess which thing is not like the other thing?
Did you guess with all your might?
Did you guess that Vanessa hottie is not like these other things?
You know what? You're right! You're absolutely right!

You so smart.
 

wow. I thought medical science eliminated the bubonic plague.
 

Upon first glance, I was under the impression that this was a group photo in prison, given the L.A. Gangsta thug wannabe on the left, and I assumed Debbie was just the tarted-up Prag belonging to the L.A. Korean crimelord wannabe on the right. And then I spotted the tawny hott in the middle and wondered why the fuck I got out of bed today in the first place. And the sad thing is, this is what she thinks are bad boys. Last time I checked, bad boys don't dress like french sailors, wear mandanas and piledrive each other in the ass while listening to My Chemical Romance. Maybe I'm old fashioned. And by 'old fashioned' I mean I'd like to clip the eyelids off these two dipshits and give them each a bottle of battery acid eye drops.
 

First time commenting so pardon me if I don't quite get the lingo yet. But what the hell did the loser on the right do to his earlobe?
 

This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen. I can't even comment.
 

these guys are like a six pack without the plastic thingy
 

It might just be my office-hazy eyes playing tricks on me in this late hour of the working man's day, but does Fruit-of-the-Scroom on the right have his own face tattooed on his neck?

And nice hoop. Call me in about 10 years and let me know if it's still as great an idea as you thought it was when you were spending your utilities money getting Jack from the Nightmare Before Christmas tattooed on your arm at Discount Dan's Tattoons to finish out that sweet sleeve.
 

i would like to think the wry smile on the white shirted chick the 31 flavors of curly blonde indicates that she can be saved...
i would like to think it but i doubt it...push up psych-ward-red lipstick would be ok if i looked for sex partners in bus stations...
and the douche on the left looks traight outta black bart's crew on christmas story...with a stop off at color me badd store to pick up a "vintage" hat...douche on the right is what happens when two psychologists have children...
 

@ anon 12:55 -

Welcome! To answer your question, that thing in right douche's ear is my cock ring. Don't ask how it got there.

Both of these anal sacs look like a fat virgin boy's comic book collection exploded in their faces.
 

anon@12:55,

Alert you are, sir. He appears to have defiled his ear with one of those tribal flesh-hoops. Makes you want to slip a bungee-cord hook in it, then tell him there's a sale on old Cure albums down at the mall.
 

While these pictures are kind of funny, I am entirely sure that the guy who runs this website is ugly and consequentially angry at the world because of it.

God gave you that socially unacceptable face, hate Him.
 

Is it just me, or is somebody blasting Joy Division records?

Oh, Vanessa. It's not too late. I know you're angry and confused right now, but your dad loves you. He just wants you to be happy. Your mom cries every night at the thought of this very scene. You should find a nice guy and settle down. A gainfully employed guy who doesn't have Queequeg's tattoos all over his body. Somebody like...Mr. White.

Seriously, do you want to end up like Debbie? She was once a happy go-lucky cheerleader, full of life. Now look at her. She bleaches her hair until it has the consistency of uncooked Ramen noodles, and every night she goes out and has pretend-vampire sex with other goth douches. Let me save you from this.
 

@anon 1:29

I'm actually pretty happy with how DB1 turned out. You, however, are a little disappointing. For one, I know you have child pornography on your computer. I can see everything.
 

Anon 1:29 -

Ummm, you'll see DB1's lovely mug festooned proudly at the top o' the page, about 2 inches from the photo you're commenting on. Nice looking guy. I'd do him if I were gay. Or if he slipped me $80.

Even if he WERE ugly, one can fix that with plastic surgery. One cannot fix stupid though. Now go thee hence to Ebaum's world and return no more.
 

How has nobody commented on the goddam Yankee hat yet? And the gigantic plastic rack on Debbie?

Don't worry about regretting that ear thingy in 10 years darksock, this guy will be long dead by then. Is that a crazy samurai between debbie and Darksock's cockring holder guy?
 

@newmans
Mad props on the Black Bart reference. And maybe, just maybe one of these clowns is one of the Bumpasses kids...
 

Look everybody, that poor girl's lips are bloody red from sucking on Pirate dick. Gay Pirate dick at that.

Is girl-in-white-tank-top wearing a shag rug on her head or did she style her hair in a blender?

Is girl-on-the-right-in-a-Pirate-shirt African American or Hispanic?
Whichever she is she's one horizontal stripe away from being a Waldo rip-off.

To the new anon: whenever there's a hoop earring or a loop on a shirt of some sort of metal ring on anybody's person we here at HCwDB like to comment that it's one of darksock's cock-rings.
Once you learn that darksock actually has an "innie" you'll find the cock-ring joke funny.
 

Notice the scratches on Stripey Mcyankeescrotes cheek?
He got it while tossing Tattoo Pube's salad and then rubbing against the eagle talon butt plug jammed in his ass.
 

darksock's momma's so fat she uses spray paint for make up.

Does anyone know the supposed date of DB1's book signing?

bcs' momma's so fat she's measured for shoes with a yardstick.
 

Oh no....douche overload...vision blurry...air thicker...must go to different website before head explodes!!
 

@ Plinky:

It's an innie; innie yer butt
 

@ bcs et. al.

I stared reading the "Sunday Hangover" thread but had to stop because I had tears in my eyes. HOLY FUCKING CRAP THAT'S FUNNY STUFF.



But never let it happen again. Ya hear?!

@ darksock

Man that's just wrong.
BTW, your momma's so fat Stephen Hawkings can't write a formula that big to explain her existence.
 

These dudes do not look well. Especially the one on the right. He looks like a heroin addict who has also contracted Hep. C and syphilis.

Um, to him, I wish to say, "Only users lose drugs."
That's how it goes, right?

Ye Gods those are some pale-ass boys. And look at the dark around the eyes.

I think platinum blonde is trying to hide the fact that she is asian. And a pussy. But she is cute nontheless.

Bronze-rooted goody-two-shoes is hanging out with them because they seem way cooler than her. She has the girl-next-door look, the look of one who would bring cookies to an old lady's house because her family never visits her and her husband is dead.

@anon 1:29 - No way you have it all wrong. Like darksock said, DB1 is a total cutie. This site is meant to bring awareness to the utterly disgusting practice also known as Douchebaggery. It must be stopped. To do this it is necessary to belittle Douchebags so that others who are on the Path to Douchebaggery will take notice, and may be Saved. Sure some people who post on here are not so hot-looking and have never spoken to a woman without giving their C.C. # first. But that is not why these 'bags are mocked. They are mocked because it is recognized that Douchebags make of mockery of the human race by posing as characitures of men. They are silly and should not procreate with hott women.
 

Courtney Love called; she wants her 80's era hair, lips and body back.

No, seriously; she wants them back.
 

squatch's momma's so fat she uses the Grand Canyon as a toilet.

shadowspawn's momma's so fat she uses Redwood trees as toothpicks.

Mr. White's momma's so fat she has to bathe in the Pacific Ocean ... and there's little room to spare in that tub; let me tell ya.
 

WTF, it's like an anthropology experiment gone horribly wrong. These two dudes were forcibly removed from their Amazonian rain forest tribe and run through a douche version of TLC's What Not to Wear and then airdropped into a crappy Midwestern Goth nightclub. They brought their poison dart blow guns and these chicks are anesthetized by the frog poison and can't move which also explains their sheet white skin.
 

ink douche on the right didn't do much research when he was planning the choad-stripe on his chin. Its a traditional Maori WOMAN's tattoo from Vew Zealand. Nice work twit-wit
 

When varsity field hockey captains go bad.
 

Thank you for creating my new favourite website... May my laughter echo out as a warning to all Douche's everywhere, you'll one day be caught. And I can vouch for the anonymous re: the Maori tat, it is a traditional woman's tattoo - what a f###ing moron.
 

No Doubt called, they don't think your 'look' is funny.
 

darksock's momma's so fat that when she farts it's immediately categorized on the Hurricane scale.
And then named.
 

this is not what God intended when he gave us free will
 

what you're seeing here, gentlemen, is the worst type of douchebag. you can easily dismiss most of the bags on this site with a simple chuckle, or if encountering in person, by simply walking in the opposite direction...

but these specimens...you'll find them at a party you don't think is completely swamped with douchebags, they'll latch onto a portion of your table at a bar, they'll know someone who knows someone who knows someone you're talking to..

and then you'll have the opportunity to hear them talk, with all their doucheosity, and you'll hear them talk about whatever topic their feeble peabrains have chosen at whatever point in their lives as the only thing in life that matters (take your pick... motorcycles, their shitty record collection, their shitty tattoos, snowboarding, etc. never anything like books, film, or art.. but whatever)...
and you'll say to yourself, after a sampling of their doucheyness, "Jesus, does this douchebag ever think/feel/talk about anything else EVER?'

and of course, then you'll have time to think about that question, and you'll answer 'No, this douchebag is too much of a douchebag to contemplate more than one singular and superfluous aspect of life.'
 

yo... I know these rejects are total 'bags but to tell you the truth these chicks are kinda busted. we got the poor mans Shakira and a wannabe Christina Applegate. the Bizzaro Milli Vanilli can have em.
 

yo... I know these rejects are total 'bags but to tell you the truth these chicks are kinda busted. we got the poor mans Shakira and a wannabe Christina Applegate. the Bizzaro Milli Vanilli can have em.
 

I have said it many times on this site, "Tattoos indicate esteem issues; obtuse tattoos dictate minimum-wage jobs the rest of your miserable fucking life." Deal with it!
 

maori woman's tattoo indicates his rebellion against the patriarchy as well as his need to identify with the most oppressed people in his consciousness...

to whom it may concern's momma is so fat they stopped making honey for six months last time she had a brazillian, because they used so much beeswax
 

"Avenged Scrotumfold" here have never heard of the Cure, Joy Division, Slayer, or anything else worth listening to.
This is what happens when spoiled suburban kids find out that tats get the ladies. They dip into the trust fund, and two weeks later look like a retarded three year old drew on them when they were passed out.
Personally, I think that Shakira and Cortney's appeal to the douche-some twosome will wane as soon as they no longer need the "beard", so as not to get beat up by actual tough guys.
Then they can go home, and felch into the night while listening to the gentle sounds of sack meeting chin-stripe.
 

plinky's momma is so fat that his computer got lost in one of her folds and he couldn't post here for weeks.
 

@douche bagsteen

"Avenged Scrotumfold" provided a much-needed laugh after a long day. I salute you.
 

I have to disagree that these fine gentlemen listen to Joy Division. I see them more as the wannabe punk guys, they listen to Bad Brains and The Dead Kennedys, and see the world around them as the shithole that Jello described. The problem is, THEY are the people that Jello is/was talking about. They live their life with a chip on their shoulder for no apparent reason. They get tats because it helps them fit in, they tattoo their eyebrows as the gentlemen on the right has, and they go through life not realizing that the world is laughing at them.

So each night, they go home, throw on some Guns n Wankers or The Germs, light up a fattie and think that THEY are not the problem. These guys are the worst kind of douche, as their downfall is permanent, they're the reason Greg Graffin wrote "Looking In".
 

Front End Scroter on the left is the lead singer from Fine Young CaniBALLS. The COCKer Spaniel with the hot eyes has no idea how Andy Warhol got in the club, but will kill for the red lipstick. Black headband on Rodney Doucherfield was almost lost in transalation, but only amps up his douche factor beyond the fucking truck rim through his ear and the smallpox of tattoos he's spent his trust fund on.
The only redeeming aspect of this abomination is the thought of the Ukranian Spider Woman tying up young Daisy Duke and abusing her with machines from Kink.com.
 

truck rim...priceless
 

EMO turd alert:

http://perezhilton.com/2008-02-11-such-a-pretty-girl-2
 

joy division/ my guess is they go deeper with depressed choad, greico
and the bunnymen,maybe some simply inbred...girlz 2 men...swing it sister...and the merseybleeths
 

@ DQ, You want to give these choads credit for tracking down roots hardcore tracks by esteemed masters such as Bad Brains and the DKs?!! They don't have the time for research into the history of a "scene" onto which they cling remora-like.
They are the sons of the guys who give a shit, and those guys are embarrassed.
I really am pissed about that distended rectum of a testicle-tickler chin tattoo. Hott or no hott, I see that silly little queef and I cave his cock-socket in for him.
 

Apocalyptools.
 

And am I the only one pissing myself over "elastic snap hole of the love bear". That's even funnier than mr. white's Nancy Cartwright joke.

Best. Handle. EVER.
 

douche with tat on chin, he looks very prepared, he brings his own napkins wherever he goes, that is a napkin ring, holder, in his earlobe. sorry dont see a hott?
 

"elastic snap hole of the love bear" is fucked up enough to be the name of an early Butthole Surfer's album.

Vanessa reminds me of the Butthole's album "Rembrandt Pussyhorse".

Blondie next to her reminds me of their song "I once saw an X-ray of a girl passing gas". Dunno why.
 

I could bag on the bags, but I'm too entranced by Vanessa.
Her sad, sad eyes. Her lovely pales skin, offset by the blaze of red, the blonde hair so carefully askew...
I cry for her.

And by cry, I mean masturbate furiously to, wishing she were mine to take home and make all the tattooed pain go away.
 

Your right, I hereby retract my comments. I guess the point I was making is this: the closest these two idiots will EVER get to Joy Division is Orgy's remake of "Blue Monday" on repeat, 24/7.
 

And of course by "Your right" I meant "You're right"...
 

HAHAHAHA WOW I MUST SAY AS THE DOUCHEBAG ON THE RIGHT IM FLATTERED 59 COMMENTS. KEEP EM COMING. IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO KNOW WE STILL HAVE HATERS IN THE WORLD THAT COULDN'T GET A HOT CHICK FOR THE LIFE OF THEM. CHANCES ARE MOST OF YOU ARE PROBABLY GUIDOS OR NERDS WHO GET YOUR KICKS OFF FLAMING PEOPLE ON FORUMS. HOW DO I KNOW THIS ? I'm JUST LIKE YOU AND KNOW JUST WHAT MMO GAMES YOU PLAY. I AM IN FACT A HUGE DOUCHEBAG BUT IM NOT EMO I LOVE MY PARENTS LOL BUT THANK YOU ALL FOR WASTING TIME WRITING ABOUT US AND BY THE WAY, THO SOME OF YOU HAD REALLY FUNNY INSULTS SOME WERE VERY LAME.

LOVE YOU ALL THANX AGAIN
 

My bad im the Douche on the left not right
 

right...left...who really gives a fuck...the point is you act like you are flattered and then have the photo yanked... a little too much personal angst in your horrible emo-inflicted world view? If you are gonna act like you got a pair, then do it...at least i would have respected you for it (and snickered how you are getting smashed on by your little friend on right...or was it the left? i already forgot).